Todd's Journey

I

ILtodd

New member
Well, I've never done anything like this before. By this, I mean writing about my struggles with food and weight. For starters, I am a 36 year old male, 6 feet 2 inches. I started my 'journey' on March 06, 2007 with a weight of 445. Now, I say 445 because my scale only goes to 440 and for the first several days I would get an 'Err' message. Err meant you exceeded the 440 scale limit....so I estimated I was around 445.

I know why I'm fat. At least I was told this by a therapist I saw several years ago while living in another state. It all started 10 years ago. I was 26, I was a slim and healthy 220 lbs, I had a great fiance that I had been with for over 8 years, and all was well. All was well until I had my heart broken by her and was left holding the pieces to an eight year relationship that she walked away from. I was devastated, hurt, and sunk myself into a miserable depression.

I'd never thought I'd suffer from depression. Never thought I'd care about one person so much and never thought I could allow past emotions to rule my future. But they did. They did for many years. I began to eat because it brought me pleasure from the pain. I began to withdraw from friends and keep myself indoors like a shut-in. Hell, I WAS a shut-in. I later realized I was putting up a barrier against me and the rest of the world. Against me and another woman that would break my heart again. I did NOT want to feel that pain ever, ever again! I was afraid to love again and by making myself fat, no one would want to love me back.

Jump foreward two years. I moved to a different city 1600 miles away. Got a new, better job (same career field). I think I have finally put the past behind me and am ready to allow someone in my life again. That is when I looked in the mirror and REALLY looked in the mirror. I couldn't believe it. 445 pounds!! I'd keep saying that outloud to myself in disbelief, "445 pounds, 445 pounds".

Since March 06, 2007 I have gone from 445 to 431. I have a strict diet of approx. 1200 calories per day. I walk everyday between 1.2 and 2.5 miles. I also weight train which will be increased as my progress continues. My entire training will progress as I get in better shape. Hauling 445 pounds 2 miles is no easy chore! As I lose more weight I know I'll incorporate more into my training and so look foreward to that!

Breakfast today - 8 pineapple chunks

Lunch today - 1 skinless chicken breast

For dinner tonight - 2 skinless chicken breast, steamed frozen corn, 2 small red potatoes (no butter, sour cream...nada)

snack - 1 red delicious apple
Daily calories approx. 1230

Todd
 
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welcome to your diary

but dude- i gotta tell you - for you size -those are supremely l ow calories for the day - you need to eat more - please... my guess would be you should be double that at a minimum = and you will still drop the pounds.. .


who'd the 1200 calories come from? doctor supervised?
 
maleficent said:
welcome to your diary

but dude- i gotta tell you - for you size -those are supremely l ow calories for the day - you need to eat more - please... my guess would be you should be double that at a minimum = and you will still drop the pounds.. .


who'd the 1200 calories come from? doctor supervised?
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I probably under estimated the calories from the three chicken breasts. I never know how many calories are ACTUALLY in a skinless, boneless chicken breast cooked in extra virgin olive oil seasoned with black pepper and kosher salt, lol. Maybe it's more like 300-325 instead of the 200-225 that I was thinking.
 
It's been awhile since my first entry, so I thought I'd update. It's been just over one month since starting my journey to a new life. A lot has happened in that month and I'm just starting to notice little changes here and there.

I started on March 6th at 445 lbs. On April 6th (yesterday) I weighed in at 425.3 lbs. So, in one month I lost 20 pounds...not too bad I guess.

I think I got up enough courage to post some before and current pictures, but I think I'll wait until I hit my first goal of 399lbs. Jeez, don't know how long it's been since I was in the 300's.

This change of lifestyle really hasn't been that difficult for me. I don't have urges for the foods I use to eat, i.e. pizza, dough nuts, cookies, burgers, wings....and PIZZA. Just don't even want it. I look at that crap now and it turns my stomach.

I try to stay around 1500-1800 calories per day and usually eat a combination of the same foods. Chicken, tuna, oatmeal, Boca Burgers, turkey, fruit, yogurt, whole grain bread, brown rice and veggies. I eat six small meals throughout the day, usually at the same time each day. I find that if I'm on a routine, it's somehow easier for me.

Had to pick up some new walking /workout shoes this week because my old one's were just too big. It seems like my feet are getting narrower causing my feet to move around in my old shoes. So, they had to go. Walked 2 miles in these new Nike's yesterday...wow, what a difference. I'm walking between 1 and 3 miles every day. Also picked up a pedometer...nice little gadget. Now I know exactly how much I'm walking.

Thanx for stopping by....until next time.
 
So here I am at the end of another week. I finished the week off by walking a total of 5 miles today, 2.5 in the AM and 2.5 in the PM. These new shoes are a God sent, no more blisters!

Lost a total of 4 pounds this week, which is a bit surprising. I'm still not seeing any difference when I look in the mirror. I wonder when that will change? I guess when your 445 pounds, 23 pounds less isn't THAT much to notice.

I have this problem of not being able to eat 5-6 times a day on the days that I'm off from work. I'm too busy doing FUN stuff, that I forget I'm suppose to eat a small meal every 3 hours. Sunday's are the worst for this.

BREAKFAST -- Inadvertently skipped due to sleeping in and going to the market/walking, etc.

LUNCH -- 2 slice's Baker's Inn whole wheat bread
tuna w/crab meat and mustard
lettuce
320 calories

DINNER -- 3 chicken breasts w/mushrooms and fresh garlic
baby carrots
1 red potato
2 servings of brown rice
1190 calories

SNACK -- 1 cup of fresh pineapple chunks
75 calories

Tomorrow I'm excited because I am joining a gym!!! I've been wanting to do this for a month and decided to pull the trigger.
 
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Great to see you are getting a grip on your life!

Welcome my friend, so glad to see you have decided to take the bull by the horns and get back to the man you once were.

But, on that note, as mentioned here already, you REALLY need to do some eating. For a guy your size to be eating such a small diet, you may lose weight, at first, but you could really be doing serious damage to yourself in the long run. What good is getting back to your fit weight if you end up in the hospital, or worse. I am not kidding here. You are treading on some VERY dangerous ground here...

I am similar to you in some regards. 6", 37 years old, once upwards of 350 pounds. I tried and failed so many times starving myself. It really doesnt work. And if you are going to start working out in earnest, it will really become starvation. At the moment I am trying my hardest to eat at least 2200 calories a day, up to about 2700. And I eat more food than ever before, 6 times a day! This has been letting me see about 2 pounds a week lost with no hunger or suffering. But I remember doing 1600 a couple months ago, and I hit a wall. Even though I was eating less food, I was not losing weight and I barely had energy to exercise. I have known several people, including some here in the group that have lost enourmous amounts of weight by starving themselves, and then paid the price later by either gaining back every pound, 10X faster than they took it off, or literally being hospitalized and near death!!! It is serious business.

The best advice I can offer is to check some of the stickies here and look at some of the great advice and suggestions you will find. One great link to get started is this one: Information to Start with/ Beginner Info There are many many more pieces of great advice here, find the system that works best for you.

But honestly, from a guy who has been down the road you are travelling too many times to count, you do need to eat more. Cutting the pizza,doughnuts and burgers is a great start, you need to fuel the engine that is removing that extra fat. Now you need to replace that bad food with healthy foods that burn the fat off, not create more. 1600 calories is barely enough to live for a fit woman, but for a man your size you really are starving yourself. That will cause some dramatic water and muscle loss, but you will retain fat as your body tries to keep from starvation mode. At your weight you need all the muscle you can get just to move yourself around, by undernourishing yourself you will start to lose energy and it will only get worse.

I am sorry if I seem to be a little extreme here, but your diet, frankly, I find a bit scary. Since coming to this forum I have learned so many things that have turned my life around and it is making the difference. I used to think eating less and exercising more was the key to success, which is why I have been obese all my life. Now, thanks to so many fan-freakin-tastic people here showing me the errors of my previous ways, I have reached goals I never thought possible. I eat more than ever before, I exercise with new found energy and vigor and I am losing weight.

I know I don't know you personally, but I see everyone here as my best friends. They know more about what I am going through sometimes than I know myself. When I see someone like yourself trying too hard, to the point you might be hurting yourself, it bothers me enough to pipe up and try to get my 2 cents in, sometimes when it really isnt wanted.

Do some reading here and ask for some help from some of the serious folks and professionals here, and you will reach those goals and become the fit 220 pound young guy that you once were, just please do it safely.

sirant
 
Hello todd :D and welcome
First of all let me congratulate you on your decision to change yourself. i am sure you can do it :D
i agree with sirant. I think those calories are way too low for you. I am a woman and i eat between 1800 and 2200 cals per day and i'm losing 1-2 lbs a week.
and don't worry we're here for you :) you're not alone in this.

Lena
 
A big welcome to Weight Loss forum. It is the thing that keeps me going and I hope you become a dedicated user too.

Good exercising. Keep it up. Its hard but the feeling of accomplishment is worth it. I read about an ultramarathon runner and he says in our society some how comfort has been confused with happiness. Happiness comes from accomplishing difficult things.

I agree with Sirant and Mal. Your calories are dangerously low.

I eat 20% below my maintenance calories and am losing four pounds a month.
I calculate maintenance by multiplying my bodyweight in pounds x 15 calories. This is assuming I exercise.

Hope this helps. Keep posting.
 
Thanks everyone for your kind words of support, I really do appreciate it. I'll admit that when I started this journey I was very naive about how to go about it. I thought that the less I take in the more weight that will come off. It didn't take long for me to realize that 800-1000 calories a day wasn't going to work. I hit that wall and didn't lose a pound for about 10 days.

Now, I think I've got myself in a groove so-to-speak. Granted I am only at about 1700-1900 calories a day, but I don't get hungry. I eat (except Sundays) 6-7 meals a day and it seems to be working. I've now dropped 25 pounds in 36 days! I just feel great!!!

Today was the first day at my new gym. I did 1.25 miles on the treadmill at 3.0. Then I did free weights for about 45 minutes. Then it was back to the treadmill for another 1.0 mile at 3.3MPH. I haven't lifted weights in about 10 years, so I was feeling the pain tonight at work....but it's a GOOD pain. I have a personal trainer tomorrow that I'll be working with to get me re-acclimated to the machines and whatnot. I am very excited about going to the gym and furthering my weight loss journey.

Todd
 
Wow, what a flip!

Going from someone I was a little worried about to someone who is taking control in a big way! Fan-freakin-tastic! Glad to hear you are on board with eating more and getting a trainer. And congrats on the 25 pounds lost all ready. Next time you are in the gym pick up a 25 pound barbell and walk around with it a few minutes and see how it feels, then think about how damn hard it is to just do that, let alone climb stairs, reach down and pick things up and even just walk around the block. It's truly amazing. I do it all the time. I pick up my 40 pound dumbells and just wander around the house. Almost brings a tear to my eye to think I did that every second of my life before! And 25 pounds is just the start. Think of how crazy thats going to feel when its 100+!!!

I love to see people start putting the pieces together and it helps me to be even more motivated myself. I will be watching your diary for sure and hope to see many more positive and happy posts in the future.

Maybe let us know what you thought of the personal trainer. I am somewhat tempted to go that way myself, but honestly I havent had the balls to invite someone into my weight loss journey on that personal a level yet. I would be very curious to see what you think.

sirant
 
I remember when I stepped on the scale last year and it read 313lbs... I cried and cried in disbelief! I understand what it's like to just not be able to figure out how...why...when did I get this big? Anyways... your doing great so far! Keep it up!
 
Well, it's another week down and a few pounds lighter. What a crazy and exciting week this has been. I decided to join a gym this week and was given a shocking surprise on my second day.

When you join this gym you get two free 'fitness orientation sessions' with a personal trainer. After the first session with my trainer, he dropped a little surprise on me. This company is allowing each personal trainer to pick someone (club member) to take under their wing, so-to-speak, and train FOR FREE. I was chosen by one of the trainers!! I was put on a specific supplement routine and am having my diet 'tweaked'. I'm given full access to this trainer anytime I want Monday through Friday, 5am to 1pm. He pretty much plans out my mornings in the gym. They took my 'before' picture this week and did all my vitals (44% body fat.......OUCH, that's embarrassing). They are going to take my photo every month and post updates on their website and in the monthly newsletter. How crazy is that? LOL

Friday we worked on weight lifting techniques, specifically the squat technique. My thighs and rear-end still hurt as I'm writing this now! And we didn't use any weights, not even the bar. For a 419 lbs man to get his rear-end 12 inches from the floor while extending your arms above your head, and then back up 40 times, ain't easy.

Yesterday I completed 60 minutes on the treadmill at 3.0 NON-STOP!! I was amazed. Just six weeks ago if I had to walk half a mile non-stop, it wouldn't happen. There was no way. Today is my only rest day, but I felt guilty for not working out. So I walked around the mall for about 1.5 miles since I had to pick up some items at GNC.

I have increased my overall goal weight by 26lbs from 199 to 225. I think, and so does everyone I've talked to, that 225 will be a good weight. I could always keep going if I choose to once I reach 225.

At 418.8 I'm a mere 19.8 pounds away from my first goal and posting my first pictures.
 
sirant said:
Going from someone I was a little worried about to someone who is taking control in a big way! Fan-freakin-tastic! Glad to hear you are on board with eating more and getting a trainer. And congrats on the 25 pounds lost all ready. Next time you are in the gym pick up a 25 pound barbell and walk around with it a few minutes and see how it feels, then think about how damn hard it is to just do that, let alone climb stairs, reach down and pick things up and even just walk around the block. It's truly amazing. I do it all the time. I pick up my 40 pound dumbells and just wander around the house. Almost brings a tear to my eye to think I did that every second of my life before! And 25 pounds is just the start. Think of how crazy thats going to feel when its 100+!!!

I love to see people start putting the pieces together and it helps me to be even more motivated myself. I will be watching your diary for sure and hope to see many more positive and happy posts in the future.

Maybe let us know what you thought of the personal trainer. I am somewhat tempted to go that way myself, but honestly I havent had the balls to invite someone into my weight loss journey on that personal a level yet. I would be very curious to see what you think.

sirant
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Thanks a lot for your support. It means a lot to me and I do greatly appreciate it. The personal trainer I have is top-notch in my book. Although I've only known him one week, I feel that he truly cares and wants to help me obtain my goals. I wouldn't hesitate, my friend. You'd be surprised at how much support is out there, especially in the fitness club environment.

Personal trainers are not cheap though. I know my gym charges $260 per month for personal trainer services!! It's not cheap. But maybe to see one once or twice a month could be all it takes. See whats available.

Todd
 
tamnix said:
I remember when I stepped on the scale last year and it read 313lbs... I cried and cried in disbelief! I understand what it's like to just not be able to figure out how...why...when did I get this big? Anyways... your doing great so far! Keep it up!
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Thank you! I'll never forget that moment in time on March 6th, 2007 when I saw the readout on the scale. Good luck to you, too!
 
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Hi Todd,
I saw your post in Renee's diary and realized I hadn't found yours!

Welcome to the WLF and Good for you for starting this journey! It's long, sometimes hard, often maddening - but definitely POSSIBLE!

Congratulations on getting picked by a trainer! That is FANTASTIC!

I look forward to getting to know you as you reach your goals :D
 
M2M said:
Hi Todd,
I saw your post in Renee's diary and realized I hadn't found yours!

Welcome to the WLF and Good for you for starting this journey! It's long, sometimes hard, often maddening - but definitely POSSIBLE!

Congratulations on getting picked by a trainer! That is FANTASTIC!

I look forward to getting to know you as you reach your goals :D
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Hello M2M,

Thank you and you have been quiet the inspiration for me, along with others. You've loss so much weight and look fantastic! I only hope that I can do the same.
 
ILtodd said:
Thank you and you have been quiet the inspiration for me, along with others. You've loss so much weight and look fantastic! I only hope that I can do the same.
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Thanks Todd :)

And you CAN do the same :) And more so! Just look at Maleficent & T2 Trucker!

The one thing I've learned is that by staying focused, the job gets done. We all have our strayings...times when we've done better then others - but we're here, we're not leaving and we do what we do - hit the ground running each day with the purpose of reaching those goals!

Once the mind is made up, it's pretty easy.

My daughter brought home an apple fritter for me today. Is eating it worth not reaching my goal? Not even close :D I did tell her thanks but she could eat it over the course of the next few days.

We'll get there Todd - one day at a time!
 
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