Time to Make Myself Happier

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Hello Everyone! As I write this, a thought crosses my mind that is a rather common one. How is it possible to want something so badly, yet fail? Even at times when I have been happy with my weight/level of physical fitness, I could not maintain it. For me, I think a lot of it boils down to anxiety and stress. I eat junk when I am stressed and at different points in life I have apparently been pretty stressed. I have sought assistance with dealing with stress and anxiety, but it is still a bit of a battle. I am a fairly active person, so it is very true that you can't maintain your weight with exercise alone. For me this has been really true after the age of 40. Since I just turned 50, I would assume that doesn't get better :)

I would like to lose 30 pounds, well really 40 but I will start with 30. I absolutely know that if I make this too complicated, the idea will exhaust me and I won't do it. So for me, keeping it simple will be key. I need to do things like yesterday, I really wanted something sweet and I was near a store that sells the most wonderful cookies. I had to do some 'self talk' to not go in and get several cookies. I know that seems like a really small simple and obvious thing to do, but for me that kind of thing is big. I also need to not eat when I don't want to deal with something stressful or even boring. Even if I give myself permission to take a nap or watch television or ANYTHING that is not illegal :) besides snack.

Like a lot of people, my biggest stressor is work. Finding a better work/life balance is key. I don't talk about my issues with my weight with anyone, although when I gained 20 pounds this past year, I am pretty sure people noticed. Then I become very self-conscious about it. I did just buy some bigger clothes, because although it is totally illogical, being frustrated about not having something to wear, seems to make me grab some chips. SMH completely illogical! So when I say I snack, it is not like a big huge binge. It really is just snacking, and I think I tend to eat the same sized dinner portion as my husband, which I really don't need to do. I also struggle to eat enough fruit and vegetables.

In summary my plan is to find better coping mechanisms for stress/anxiety than snacking.
Put myself first more, I really do not need to work 12 hour days, every day. People can actually wait.
Try not to take things people say that imply I need to work more personally. It is a way to manipulate me and it works great!
Add more fruit and vegetables in to my daily meals.
Use this as a safe place to actually talk about my issues with my weight. Having the support of like minded folks, with similar goals and likely similar issues with meeting the goals in the past seems like it will be very helpful!

Heck, I have written more about how I feel about my weight here, than I have ever spoken out loud in my life!
Hi, Jenefer & welcome to the forum. I think most of us can relate to just about everything you said in your first post. At times you seemed to be me! You have found a safe place. It does get harder as you get older, but we are worth the effort. It does take lots of effort, but every little thing helps.
Why not start a diary? You could copy & paste your first post as your first entry in it. It can be something you can come back to. You can say as little or as much as you like. The link is https://www.fitness.com/en/forum/forums/weight-loss-diaries.1494/
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