Time to find me

K

kris8503

New member
What is your current height and weight? 5'8'', 365
If you were at an ideal weight now, what would that weight be? 185
At what weight would you like to be at four months from now? 300
Why do you want to lose weight? I need to take control of my life again. I need to be healthy.
Do you want to lose weight for a specific life event such as wedding or reunion? If so, when is that event? No specific event for the weight loss, but I only have about 3 years until my 10 year school reunion. It would be nice to be at a lower weight for that!
What obstacles could get between you and your weight loss goals? My propensity for over thinking and over analyzing everything. I am my own worst enemy...
Why do you think that you now have a weight problem? I eat emotionally and I don't stay active.
What lifestyle changes do you think would help you lose weight? Instead of eating to pass the time, I need to find something else to keep my mind/body active.
Have you lost weight in the past? If so, what has worked in the past to help you lose weight? yes! I lost 30 pounds with changing my eating habits and it was great, until I let myself sabatage the process and I am back up by 15 pounds. :(
Why do you believe that you did not lose weight or you gained the weight back? I was all about eating right, portioning out everything and making myself accountable for the whole process. Then I had some things like a move and the holidays. All things that I should have been able to overcome, but didn't.
What, if anything, has not worked for you in the past in helping you to lose weight? Why do you think it did not work? I think I have tried half of the programs out there for weight loss. I don't like things that dictate what I have to eat and when, and I like to be able to enjoy the taste of food. I find myself staying away from "health" food because I am adverse to the taste of it.
Would you try writing down all food and drink consumed for a given period of time? I have tried this, and it worked for me. I am going to start this method again.
Do you cook at home often? If so, what do you cook? I love to cook. I cook all sorts of different things, but I can see now that most of it is comfort-type foods that I really shouldn't be eating...
How often do you go out to eat? Where do you go? I usually eat out at a sit-down restaurant at least once a week. Eating out on the go is once or twice.
What are your three favorite foods? Tacos, Chicken, and Steak
What are your three favorite restaurants? Red Robin, Johnny Carino's, and any Mexican place! (soooo bad for you...)
What are three things you can do differently when it comes to food? decrease portion size, limit accessability to "junk" foods, and increase accessability to fruits and vegatables.
If you woke up tomorrow and your body was exactly the way you want it, what would be different? That is so hard for me to answer. My body has never been the way I want it to be, so I don't think I could recognize it when I see it.
Do you eat when you are not hungry? I am getting better at not doing this, but yes - I am guilty of this.
Do you binge eat (large amounts at a time)? I have been known to overeat things that I really love.
Do you hide your food or eat in secret? I used to do this as a kid. Not anymore so much.
Do you eat when you are sad, nervous, or depressed? yes
Do you eat as a reward? yes
Do you eat while watching TV or using the computer? yes
What do you normally eat for a meal? they vary so much that it would be hard to say.
What type of snacks do you eat? popcorn, apples, or meat/cheese/crackers are often what I eat for snacks at work.
In terms of exercise, what, if anything, are you currently doing? Up until two days ago, it was really nothing. I have started going to the gym, though, and have been doing treadmill/ellipical/recumbent bike
Where do you go for exercise? A local public gym? School/work gym? Home? I go to the gym. I was making too many excuses doing the work at home.
What, if anything, are your three favorite types of exercise? none to speak of right now.
What is your daily/weekly/monthly/yearly motivation to move towards your goals? I have weight loss competitions with my roommate. I just hope that I can meet my goal before him since I have more to go! *smile*
Do you have rewards for certain goals? I haven't made any yet.
 
3 days in a row! Go me!

I didn't want to start going to the gym as a fad like everyone else is doing this time of year. So, I joined just before and told myself that this was a lifestyle change and that I am not just doing it short term. I have been there three nights in a row and have been easing myself into the routine. I did 15 minutes of cardio on Wednesday and Thursday and tonight I upped it to 20. It may not sound like a lot compared to people to do an hour easy, but I know MY limitations. I don't want to burn out and have to pay out the rest of that year contract without actually going to the gym... lol

So - here's to another three days and the weight loss I am going to make happen!!
 
I am SUPER proud of you! We may clash on a lot of other issues, but this is one we have in common, and one we're gonna make right the RIGHT way.
Don't give up, don't give in, don't let other peoples comments or negative ideas EVER lead you back to emotional eating. its not worth it, and it just means ya hafta work that much harder. Keep it up at the gym :) you'll be doing a coupla hours with me in no time ;)
 
Just passed hurdles #2 and #3

So, I sat here tonight thinking that I would take a little nap and go to the gym with Jessie again tonight. I got my book, turned on my heated blanket, and set my alarm clock for 11:45. As I had just turned the second page in the book, Lacey calls and asks if I want pizza. I was hungry, but I know that i should have said no since I ended up eating WAY more than I should have. Thank goodness it put me *right* at the limit for calories today. I tend to eat way too few when I am actually recording what I have. The day in calories wasn't a total bust, but I know I could have done better.

I am excited to say that I have passed hurdles #2 and #3 in my journey. I would say the first came on Thursday night when I went to the gym by myself. I don't llike doing that, but at least I know that I can. Tonight, I was able to overcome two more in the forms of actually overcoming the thinking that I didn't need to go tonight and staying by myself when there was someone else already there. I am so self conscious about how I look and what I am doing that I can't stand to be there without someone I know when there are other people present. Anyway - to begin the story, I had pizza with Jessie and Lacey and watched most of a movie at their house. I knew I needed to go home and get ready to go to the gym. I knew Jessie wouldn't be going with since she went to go take her pre-gym nap and I wasn't going to be able to handle 3 am. Ugh. I go home, change into shorts and start thinking that I can just stay home, I don't need the gym tonight. It's like a freaking light bulb went off, because I know that it is that attitude that helped me to the point I am right now to begin with! So, I changed into the gym clothes that I have laid out to help me be accountable to myself and I went. I got there, and I could see that someone else was already there. I almost put the car in reverse and left. The entire situation just makes me uncomfortable. But I did it. I made myself go into the building and change my shoes. I stretched a little, and I did my 20 minutes on the bike. I even did a few minutes on the treadmill after to cool down.

I am proud of myself, and I hope that I continue to surpass these hurdles more and more to the point that I don't even count them any more. But, to know that 1 - I can go to the gym by myself, 2 - I can make myself overcome the feeling of not wanting to go, and 3 - I can be in the gym with a stranger and overcome those feelings of shame in myself, I think it is going to be a good journey.
 
Congratulations to your commitment to changing your life and being healthy! It sounds like you are doing really well so far. You should be very proud of yourself :) Congrats on making yourself go to the gym even when you didn't want to. That is one of my biggest struggles, so kudos to you for overcoming it!
 
another day down

Went to the gym again tonight. Wasn't really planning on it since I was feeling a little tired, but when Lacey called and asked if I was going I changed my mind. There were more people there again tonight, but I was ok with it. I knew I was there to do my thing - screw the rest of them! My day in nutrition sucked big time today. I only ate two meals, but they were pretty high calorie. I am a little dissapointed in myself, but it's ok. I didn't go over the limit I set for myself. I just need to be better about spacing it out and eating some better stuff.

Off to bed - I have to go back to work in the morning. ugh.
 
Never thought I would say it...

If you had asked me a month ago how I felt about going to the gym, I would have rambled on excuse after excuse about why I didn't go, why it was pointless, and on and on... I don't know what I was thinking! I went tonight amidst the blizzard conditions we are experiencing, and I had so much fun. I didn't go last night because I need a night of not doing anything, and work was horrendous yesterday. So, I stayed home and I actually felt remorseful about it. I can't believe that after a week I am already craving the release of working out!

Tonight my little sister and I went and I was still working out by the time she was done. I added 10 minutes to my time and I didn't stop at all except in the middle to get up and walk around and go to the bathroom. Last week I was huffing and puffing in the middle of one half of my time. I am afraid to get my hopes up that it will be the same tomorrow, but I think that whatever I do, I know that I will be ok in this whole working out thing. I like it. I kinda crave it. It's wierd. But I'm ok with that... lol

I am going to go and make my lunch for tomorrow and go to bed! I am tired and cold and I hate, hate, HATE the snow!!!
 
Today I had a couple of my co-workers comment that I seemed more happy than usual. I had to actually sit down and think about it and I realized it is because I have decided to take control of my life. I know that one of my biggest problems is my job, so I may have to change that in the near future, but I love that my attitude has changed a lot since beginning this change.

Went to the gym tonight and for the first time since I started going, there was someone actually using the piece of equipment right next to the one I wanted to be on. I looked at my little sister and actually panicked for a moment, thinking "what am I going to do?" I got on the bike and started going, that's what I did. I pushed myself a full half of a mile farther then I did last night in the same amount of time. I can do this. I know I can.

I decided that I was going to go to the gym T/W/F/S/S and take M/R off. They are split days, and it may seem kind of weird, but I have a feeling it is going to be better than two days off in a row. I will probably lose my will to keep going if I take too much time to think about it, lol. Need to keep going, not letting myself overthink.

I was watching the DVR recording of the Biggest Loser premier tonight. Bob and Jillian both said that this is the biggest cast they have ever had. It's a daunting thing for them to train so many people that are so much larger than they have ever had. I weighed the same as 2 or 3 people when I started changing things last April. I am not under the same circumstances by any means where I have a Bob or Jillian, but I haven't done bad, either. Since starting in April, I have lost 20 pounds, put about 5-7 back on, and now I am actively embracing a change that will help continue the downward track of things. I like that. I am positive about it.
 
I haven't really been feeling it again lately. I don't know what the heck happened. I was really into it for the first week and a half and now I am back to where I started - I don't wanna do it anymore. But, I am gonna do it, and that is what counts, right?

I didn't go Thursday night because of having the night off, I missed Friday because I ended up sleeping and then not feeling it, but I did 20 minutes yesterday and 30 minutes today. I don't know why I can't seem to do more, but here I am. I will keep plugging away as I am.
 
Hey Kris,

It sounds like you're doing an awesome job, well done!

I think it's normal to have some night when you're just not feeling it, and sometimes that can happen for a couple of nights in a row. Maybe when that happens you could try to just do a little something at home? That way next time you go to the gym you'll feel all refreshed again, like it's exciting again rather than the same old same old.

It's great that you go back into it today and yesterday! And do not worry that you can only do 20 or 30 minutes, over time you will add to that and before you know it you'll be doing an hour or so like everyone else.

Good work!
 
been a while...

So, I haven't really posted anything here in a few days. I have logged on and read other people's journals, but haven't really done musch of my own posting. I am coming to a rut, and I hate it. I don't have either of my sisters to go to the gym with me anymore, so I have to just suck it up and go on my own. It is working for the most part, but I seem to sleep through my alarm if I try to take a nap and go later at night to miss most of the crowd.

I have been to the gym 4 of my 5 scheduled days in the last two weeks. Been doing between 20 and 30 minutes on the bike with an average speed of 12 mph. I like the random setting on them and am usually pretty excited to see that I climbed a simulated 1000 feet in my 15 minute intervals. It makes me feel like I did something more than I actually did... lol

Eating has been ok lately, though I did have REALLY bad food tonight. A friend called and we ended up eating at Johnny Carinos. Totally bad for you, but oh so yummy... I made myself think of that when I thought about not going to the gym tonight... it seemed to work to get me off my butt! lol

Not much else to report. I have to get myself acclimated to the treadmill or elliptical, but I seem to shy away because of how my leg muscles react to the weight bearing exercise at this point in time. I just have to keep going and keep pushing myself.

I am really excited, tho! I scheduled some time off of work so I could go see a friend and as worried what was going to happen with my gym schedule while I was gone. I found out that there is a branch of my gym right down the street from her! yay! That means that there is no reason I shouldn't be able to continue going and doing at least my 30 minutes while I am gone. I also verified that there is one close to my Grandma (granted, it's in the next city over, 13 miles away) and one close to another friend if I decide to go see her this year. It helps to know that I can go and do things and be accountable for still going to the gym. Yay!
 
Went to the gym last night and tonight. Actually had little sis to go with... Yay! I really like having someone there with me, even if she is two rows back on the treadmills. I like the feeling that even if I am "alone" on the bike, I am not actually "alone". I know it sounds weird, but whatever works, right?

I had such a crappy day at work today. I have come to the conclusion that it is either time to find something I can actually do with my degree, or I need to expand my education. Something. Geesh. I am just feeling crappier than crap when I get home. Thankfully the gym seems to be a good place for me to go and work out the anger and frustrations that I have. I kinda made a goal tonight that I am going to make sure all of my debt is cleared by the end of this year and it's time to move on. I love my family and I love Montana, but it may just be time to forge a new path.

I am gonna round out the month on the bike, and next month start to integrate the elliptical - def. think it is time, and I seem to be gaining the strength I need to move on to another piece of equipment. Here goes!
 
kris8503 said:
I had such a crappy day at work today. I have come to the conclusion that it is either time to find something I can actually do with my degree, or I need to expand my education.
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Ummm yeah. I think you should DEFINITELY stick in out and/or go to school so I can keep free cable and internet. KThx. :D
 
Well done on going to the gym--I'm still too..I don't know. Shy, I guess. I don't want people looking at me and even though the rational part of my brain knows they aren't, my self-esteem wont allow me to believe it. You're my new inspirtation. Keep it up :D
 
Jess - thanks for the support, yo... :)

Sunflower - I still get that way where I feel like I can't get around the panic I feel when get to the gym and there are people there. Then I realize that I have to. No one else is gonna work this weight off!!
 
Very true. Because of you I went for a run today in broad day light and now I feel fabulous. We are on our way to being the healthy and confident people we want to be.

Are you and Jess room mates? I've been following her thread but have been too shy to post!
 
Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE snow? I want to move far, far away from it. I didn't want to leave the house at all today. I probably would have been better off had I not left since it turned into a REALLY bad day for eating. A friend/co-worker had a party for her son at Chuck E. Cheese's and I went since most of her family was prevented from traveling due to the snow. So, I went and had 2 pieces of pizza and a salad, but even that made me feel icky. I ran after her youngest enough to work off a little of my calories. She was so cute! I loved how she would see me and hold up her arms (no one else was letting her have as much fun...lol). I came home, watched a little TV while trying to warm up and then decided that since I had braved the snow and ate pizza, I could brave the snow and go to the gym.

When I got to the gym tonight, it was blessedly calm - only one other person. Of course with my luck, I would have to know that person. From High School. Ugh. Thankfully he didn't talk to me, and I didn't try to talk to him. The gym just isn't where you are like "Hey! Do you remember me? I used to play baseball in the street with you and your brother!" I guess if I see him there again and the opportunity presents itself I will say hello, but it's all good. I don't really need to go to the gym to socialize. I haven't seen him in 7 years, so what they heck, right?

I was pretty proud of myself tonight. Even though I was feeling icky from the pizza and the bug that is floating around at work, I increased my time and intensity. I have been going between 20 and 30 minutes a night, which is big for me. I used to literally sit on my ass all night long. Going to the gym for 30 minutes 4 or 5 times a week is huge for me. Tonight, I did 40 minutes. My legs didn't like me, I was really icky sweaty, but God - it felt good. I forgot to mention this last week, I think, but I lost 6.5 pounds from the week before. I haven't been this weight in years. I feel like I am on the way to finding me, to finding the person I know I can be.
 
Well done!! That's wonderful :D YAY for feeling better!

So nice that you have your sister to support you as well! My sister is underweight by about a stone so i'm encouraging her to eat all the crappy food I'm not allowed anymore ;) At least one of us is enjoying themselves!
 
Sunflower said:
So nice that you have your sister to support you as well! My sister is underweight by about a stone so i'm encouraging her to eat all the crappy food I'm not allowed anymore ;) At least one of us is enjoying themselves!
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I am the middle sister - one older (Jess) and one younger. My little sister is tiny. Like, size 5 jeans tiny. She has actually been one of my biggest supports in going to the gym, tho. I love both of my sisters most days. :D
 
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