I'm going to close out my diary with the stark reality of obesity.
We lost my brother yesterday
To time line what has and hasn't been written in here, in short, his obesity was his trigger to health problems that dominoed into his passing.
On June 2nd, my brother received his new heart valve. Like any transplant, the first few days are touchy. My brother was no exception. We endured the routine as any other patient would. Most visits, we saw the normal grogginess and discomfort he should be experiencing. On Sunday (the 7th), he seemed at his brightest! Very alert, ate a complete tray of food, conversing and owning up to the projected schedule of a Tuesday (the 9th) release.
Tuesday morning, he awoke to a day of promise that was to be the beginning of his steps and procedures at home with local therapeutic care to elevate him to his liver transplant. He woke up at 6am to go to the bathroom, untethered by tubes and hoses - a true sign he was prepped to be leaving. On his solo trip back to bed, he fell down.
We had family in play heading there (me not being one of them) to help bring him home. I knew of the time frame in ballpark terms when he was being released. A call came to me within that time frame. I beamed as the phone rang. I was excited.
The last thing I expected to hear was "He's unresponsive and on a respirator"
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
As it turns out, his ammonia level had risen overnight to an epic level we had not encountered to date. He had of history of ammonia spikes that disabilitated him on several occasions, but none so severe to launch him into a coma. The general and customary hospital treatment is toxic quantities of Laculose and Lasix, literally purging the body of all waste toxins - that and oxygen.
The next five days are a blur. The range of hoping for a response to getting mild responses, to getting no responses was an exhausting rollercoaster. Opinions, methods, options and discussions abound. Every day a new effort, every day a heartbreak. By now, he had acute liver failure, renal shut down, hepatic encephalopathy, a tachy, enlarged heart and edema beyond help. It now laid squarely on the family that the ultimate decision was forthcoming.
Sunday (the 14th), was his 29th wedding anniversary. It was a righteous decision to let their matrimony stay intact. They say he isn't suffering, so why not? I'm not convinced, but I get it. Yes, it was a compelling, passionate delay. I hope Fentanyl really, really works as well as they tell me it does.
Monday *sigh* If you ever went through a 'pull the plug' experience you know it doesn't make for good reading and if you haven't, you don't really need me to describe it. I can't explain how painful and exhausting of an event this is. Let's just leave it that it's the most extremely single difficult experience I've ever encountered. Given the chance, I'll opt out on any remaining family members should the occasion arises, again.
Hey, my brother fought the good fight. Don't be sad. It's an honor to go out fighting. What a brave man he was. We rationalize the 'better place' scenario and for that, he has arrived there. He certainly didn't have 'life' in his last days, I'm glad it's over for him. What a trooper!
Special thanks to Geisinger Wyoming Valley Hospital Heart Hospital, Doctor Deepak Singh, all the Nurses in ICU/CCU for their humane, professional treatment. Your relentless efforts were deeply appreciated. Win, lose or draw, you guys were outstanding.
I cry not as I type this. I doubt I have much left to cry with today. I will again, however. The next phase will have to be met. It will be difficult.
But now I've come full circle with my diary. My brother and his adventure has led me to recognize that I need to extend my thoughts, applications and dedication to better health through weight loss to the highest possible level. And it just wasn't him alone. The ICU floor became all too familiar to me with other patients of varying degrees of infliction with a 97% rate of and/or obesity and smoking being their reason for need of operation.
My path is clear and my plan is in place. I hope to revisit WLF again someday with my most stunning accomplishment to date. I feel my diary has gone as far as it can go.
My work here is done.
