Morning walk ponderings:
Reflecting im now at a weight I haven't been at since 1987 - the year my daughter was born. One wonders why one chooses to wait 19 years to get serious. 4 of these years were with diabetes. Having conclusive evidence of supporting data of just how beneficial my changes have been to my illness, again, why the wait ?? why does it take getting pissed off or self-disgust before we get started ?? Isn't our very own life reason enough to start immediately ??
How ridiculous I look in 3x shirts now. I now own 60 to 70 nightgowns. I know women are always jubuliant at shopping for clothes but I think most men dread this aspect of life. I'm really settled in with my clothes. They really are 'old friends'.
I'm amazed how finding an area of study for a new career is really become a mental burden. I can't find anything that sparks me into saying "yes, I want to be a _________ for the rest of my life". All I know is I don't want to go back to driving a tractor trailer, other than that, I can't dislodge my brain into another choice of careers.
All in all, these are musing I can live with. I'm not daydreaming of pizzas or ice creams or going back over the 300 lb mark. These are a not so distant memory but I feel confident those days are well behind me now and I'm completely in control. I just fail to have a misery aspect to my lifestyle changes because I'm just enjoying the hell out of life at its present (and future) state.