This is the time

For Wednesday 13 December

This is a netball day. I didn't prepare any dinner before I went, hence a late meal. I noticed I was really hungry on the way there while at the supermarket, so bought and ate a vege snack. After dinner I got caught up on the computer. I forgot to finish eating some of my veges for that meal and when I noticed them much later on, I ate them then. I had meant to buy more yoghurt on the way to netball, then realized it would be out of the fridge too long, and planned to add fruit to some natural low fat yoghurt in the fridge, but after dinner was never that hungry, or thinking that I wanted anything more - so skipped dessert! That puts me a little down on my fruit for the day, but I usually have the yoghurt just to feel satisfied, so I was happy not to feel that I needed it.

Breakfast ~ 7:30 1 wholemeal muffin, 1 tspn margarine, 1 tspn strawberry jam, 1 boiled egg, 2 weetbix, Splenda, 3/4 C SoGood , 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk / C total ~1/3 serve milk. 1 C tomato juice. Snack Coffee with milk. Lunch ~ 12.30 1 boiled egg, 2 slices wholemeal bread, 1 tomato, 5 snowpeas, 1 small peach. White coffee. Snack 3.00 1 corn thin with rye and caraway white coffee 5:20 1 Carrot, 2 mushrooms, 2 sticks celery Dinner ~ 7.45 ½ C “Velish” vege soup, 140 gm grilled lamb, 5 grilled mushrooms, 1 grillled tomato, 1 C spaghettiSnack 1 carrot, 1/3 capsicum, ½ stick celery Excercise: 16 min brisk walk, quite puffed (that’s about as quick as my quick walk to rec can be done) Add a little bit next time – go to near park first. Water: 2000ml Bedtime: 11:00
 
This is my avatar. It is too small to see properly on this website, but I don't want to change it yet because I've only just joined and I want people to remember who I am!


I've seen that pic in a few places, but the first time I saw it, the caption was:
"You can do it"!
 
:D Oh I like that "Weight Loss Table". It made my 1 kg take up a whole page and gave me nice 45 degree downward slant!! :D
 
Feeling fine. Went past afternoon snack time without noticing – not hungry until nearly time to start dinner – but as I still had the walk to do I had a snack then. My feet were hurting before I started the walk. I think that’s because I took my sandals (and orthotics) off to clean the bathrooms. I am sooo looking forward to being able to bend over and pick something up, or clean the bath, without thinking I’d better get back up again pretty quick before my stomach pushes too hard on my aorta and pops it! (Well, looking forward to it, is probably putting it a bit strongly at this stage – but I do dream!!) I still remember walking down the hospital passage, for the first time after my son was born and finding that amazingly, instantly, I no longer felt puffed when I walked. It won’t be instant this time. Hmmm. My time frame is about the same as for having a baby!! (From scratch that is – about the same size stomach too.)

Anyway, back to the walk, I extended it a bit and that was fine. With having started to feel hungry, and aching feet, it did feel that it took a bit more effort than normal, but I don’t think going that little bit further is an issue. I just need to try to do it earlier so I have enough time to do more. Wearing my joggers instead of sandals feels good. I will have to try it more often, despite the threat to my aorta involved in bending down long enough to tie my shoelaces!

I’ve drunk quite a lot of water, but I had to think about it today. Yesterday was much hotter and I was pretty keen to have it. I say this because for the past few years, every summer I have noticed myself drinking a lot more and wondered about diabetes, and then thought “Oh but it’s hot…”

Breakfast ~ 7:30 1 wholemeal muffin, 1 tspn margarine, 1 tspn strawberry jam, 1 boiled egg, 2 weetbix, Splenda, 3/4 C SoGood , 1 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk Lunch ~ 12:15 4 squares (1 serve) wholemeal crackers topped with salmon and vege mix (from spaghetti Tues night minus the spaghetti), 1 C tomato juice, leftover spanish omelette (approx 1 egg white, 1 small potato, 1/6 C corn, 3 green olives, 1 mushroom, a little celery, onion, capsicum, ? 10 gm cheese) 1 , 1 small peach. White coffee. Snack 5:50 1C tomato juice 1 C SoGood Dinner ~ , 140 gm grilled fresh sea bream, rolled in breadcrumbs, pan fried in 5 tspns olive oil, medium potato with skin, microwaved, big salad (lettuce, 1 tomato, 1/3 C sliced black olives, capsicum, cucumber, mushrooms, 1/3 beetroot, grated carrot, 2 radishes. Everything cut up and tossed together with about 3 tspns Kraft “Free” Italian dressing (where has the diet dressing gone?) Diet apricot yoghurt. Exercise: 24 min brisk walk, quite puffed expanded through the near park and around the school. Water: 1750ml Bed: 12:15

AAAgh. I just posted 11:00 bed time and went into the bedroom and the clock says 12:00 - but I remember changing the time on the computer for daylight saving because my daughter was watching...........and I tried really hard to change it on the websites and it just won't go to the right hour there, so they don't tell me the right time....and it's not my fault. :( Boo Hoo.
 
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Feeling the effects of a late night last night. I know the computer clock was only out by 1 hour, but then I didn’t want my post, or signature, to be inaccurate so I came back on the computer. At first I had that “Oh well, blown it, might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb” feeling. Then I thought, I should be in bed, the later I am the more this is going to make me feel off tomorrow….but by then I was already half way through another post, and …….oh excuses, excuses. My son thought that after the time was changed we might have switched the computer off without going through the start menu and that was why the clock was wrong. Mind you, he instantly noticed it was wrong.

It wouldn’t matter so much if I was good about time. I’m not though, and especially if I am having fun or making something. Anything a bit creative and I’m woop – over the other side of the brain and there is no little internal clock ticking. I love the feeling, but I have to be really careful about it. I’ll try the clocks again. Maybe that DST thing needs to be changed.

Yay. I found out how to make the forums’ clocks do what I want. I had to turn the DST correction to “always off” first, then change to Tokyo time.

I changed my goal weight down 5 kilos (11 lb) today. That is from almost normal BMI to the middle of normal BMI. I guess the first day I wrote the goal I was thinking that I should be a bit cautious about what I could do, then this week I was surprised when I noticed that I had put something that was only borderline healthy, and have been meaning to change it now for a couple of days.

I have not been that weight since I married the second time, about 19 years ago. I do remember how big/small it is. I “grew” out of that skirt by the next winter. The summer after the wedding was the first time I found I couldn’t walk in a dress, in the heat because my thighs chafed. It was a happy enough marriage though. Those were the days when enjoyed chowing into a bunch of lollies and such most nights while reading a book and watching TV. I don’t remember feeling guilty. I think I thought it was not the best but not that crucial.

I just had this totally strong association of reading and eating, and I was a reading addict!! I have just modified that to a computer addiction now – but my hands are busy a lot – slows down the eating. For some reason reading books has tended to send me to sleep the last year or two – maybe because my eyes are changing? I probably should try to read more – I see my little girl copy me over and over, and yet she doesn’t read for pleasure and it was the one weakness in her school report. She probably doesn’t see me read that much. I might wait until after Christmas though because I really want to bed down this eating plan.

I need to change the mental image and associated feelings I have about some of my old binges – change the feeling I have about what it was like to throw off the guilt and say “I’m not going to bother with that now, tomorrow or next week will do, tonight I will just relaaaax and indulge.” I have been thinking this week about many past times when I have hungered after certain high fat, high sugar foods in the past and have had a mental image of the comfy chair and book in hand and happy feeling preceding eating – indulging – it has been an appealing mental image. I need to change a bit of that. Change the “Oh yeah that was nice” feeling to a “Oh wow that was how I was sabotaging my life” feeling. Sometime, I have to work out what to do about my forbidden food, when it’s not totally forbidden any more, but not yet. I have been working on a plan for Christmas Day though. I am determined this will not be a year in which Christmas becomes the beginning of the end of good eating – either through indulging OR through feeling deprived and then indulging on leftovers!!

Last night I finished dinner and felt like I couldn’t be bothered with the yoghurt again – not really hungry. After a while though I made myself go and get it, and I ate it. I made myself get it because not having it reminded me of lots of times when I’ve thought, “Not yoghurt – I want ….(don’t even want to type the words for fear of starting up my own cravings!!)” So I got it, but really by the time I was half way through I was thinking that it was more than I wanted, and by the time I was nearly finished I was thinking that really my old eating plan only let me have a maximum of half a tub of yoghurt at once anyway – and not even diet yoghurt – just plain non-fat yoghurt with some fruit!! So anyway. I will keep having diet yoghurt if I feel like it – though the fresh fruit is very appealing just at this minute with the taste of a wonderful juicy peach in my mouth – but wow half a tub is enough when I’m not even looking for more food!!

I do rave on here. I feel kind of guilty talking about myself so much in one go – but then again I think that people who don’t want to read it can easy enough not read it without being rude or anything, and it really helps me. It’s kind of like taking notes and going over and over them when you’re studying I think – it sort of helps me find out what makes a difference to me, and presses the important parts more strongly into my brain. Well, I hope so anyway! It makes a difference that I’m posting it on the net too – not just talking to myself. It doesn’t have to be a lot of people reading all the time – just more of a sense that someone is listening and I’m not alone. Also there is that nice endorphin thing I’m getting from the writing. Gotta replace those food rush endorphins!!

My walk today was great. I added on a teeny bit more of the school, and then went past the oval on the other side of the rec centre. Great stuff to walk on. That patch of school is all bushy and the ground is covered with eucalypt leaves (like the little bush school I used to go to) and the next bit has lots of tiny flower caps all over it. Then there is my standard good spot through the wattle, with wattle leaves and seedpods all over the ground (so reminds me of the bush near my childhood home). Anyway when I walked around the far side of the oval – bonus - sheoaks - a dense needle carpet all over the ground and that totally relaxing sound of the wind soughing through them above. We have lived here 10 years and I have never walked on that side of the oval before. So that walk is 30 minutes. I may have walked a bit more slowly today because I wasn’t in a rush. I did walk quickly though – a little puffed afterwards. You know when I came to this site I wasn’t even thinking particularly about walking – it was still a sort of “Oh yes, that’s right I had better walk a bit too” sort of thing – like not really in my mind much. As well as not doing it without an external reason, I would just forget about it. I just worked out an extra loop I can add on to the beginning, while still pretty much sticking to parks. I don’t think I’ll aim at it as a minimum requirement, but maybe I can try to do it most of the time. My feet are a bit sore now, but weren’t when I started walking. My left ankle is aching a bit too. I haven’t noticed that for a long time. Bugger that glucosamine reaction!!

Bushfires in Victoria.
On my other website tonight one of the members, who I like, without knowing well, posted that she is in the middle of the bushfires in Victoria. They are saying these may be the worst fires in 70 years. I saw the post just as I was about to sit down to eat this very fancy meal I cooked. (I volunteered to do it instead of hubby, so I could control it for myself.) Anyway, I don’t know. This is a medium level angst situation for me. I am putting it here because though the fires are so far from me I am conscious of it every moment, and I couldn’t have cared less about the beautiful meal. I let it go half cold and then I didn’t finish it. And then I felt dissatisfied and half thought about eating consoling crap. I think I must be unreasonably upset because all is well here, but then I do not want to try and talk myself out of being upset, because this is real. OMG if I was her I would be terrified. I couldn’t bear it. Only I can’t do anything about it. I can’t even think of anything reasonable to wish for to make it better. I just feel like I want to sit on the other website till the weekend is over and try to stay linked to her somehow and make her safe, which I can’t do.
She says “I am in the middle of all those brightly burning things.”


Breakfast ~ 7:30 1 wholemeal muffin, 1 tspn margarine, 1 tspn strawberry jam, 1 boiled egg, 2 weetbix, ~ ¼ C preserved peach cubes, 3/4 C SoGood , 1/2 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk 1C tomato juiceLunch ~ 12:25 8 squares (2 serves) wholemeal crackers, about 6 of them topped with micro-slivers of lite cheese & about 5 tiny mini-tomatoes, bacon (the round bit from the end, all fat trimmed), 5-6 small mushrooms, 2 teaspoons oil, 1 carrot (whole, raw), 1 small peach. White coffee. Snack 5:50 1C tomato juice 1 C SoGood Dinner ~ 9.00 6 little prawns microwaved with fresh lime juice. Avgolameno lamb and olive pilaf., (180 gm lamb, 1 C rice, 1/6 cup olives, ½ lettuce, 1 stick celery, 1 onion, ¼ egg yolk, ? 4? Tspn margarine. )Exercise: 30 min brisk walk,. Water: 2000ml Bedtime: 1:10
 
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Well I'm feeling like a normal person again. Still concerned about the fires and sending thoughts that way, in case it somehow makes a difference, but in a more normal way.

Saw some amazing satellite pictures of Victoria. The fires are so big they show up as red dots.
 
Good job, loving your diary and all the introspection you do ^_^

I used to love reading, too, before I discovered the internet :eek: *damn you internet! lol*

How old is your daughter? I'd recommend reading to her if she's very young... My mom did that for me every day, outlining the words so that I could follow along, and I learned how to read when I was three. I think that reeading's very important in developing a child's mind, and it really boosts their creativity. I'd suggest the little house on the prairie books if they're a bit older, I read littlle house in the big woods until it fell apart.

But even if your child is older, and doesn't develop a love for reading, you could always encourage their other passions... Do they like to draw, or exercise, or play music? That's one of my biggest regrets, not sticking to something long enough to become good at it...

Sorry if I sound like I'm giving advice that's out of place, I have no experience with parenting, so you know a lot more than me ^_^ Just a few suggestions, if you want something to think about.

Tokyo ni sundeimasu ka? Itta koto ga arimasen kedo, nihongo ni tokui ni naritai nara, itta houga ii deshou ne ^_^ Sorry that my Japanese is so bad :eek:
 
Oh korikun, I have misled you I think. I live in Perth, Western Australia. We recently have changed, in a hurry, to daylight saving, so we are pretending to be in the same time zone as Tokyo, though the time there is actually an hour ahead. I do not speak Japanese, though my son has started to learn a little.

I don't mind you commenting at all. Please do it. One of the main things that interests me about internet forums is the opportunity to get to know more about other people and their thoughts. I think your ideas about my daughter's reading are all very thoughtful and relevant. She is 10 and I am thinking of finding some more books that we might take turns reading to each other. She does have moments when she switches on to some book or other. Her reading is not poor, but I think she may be able to achieve more with it if she gets some extra support.

My girl is 10. Her reading is "satisfactory", but she does not read unless she is obliged to. Her reading is weak relative to her other skills. She loves to write and draw and dance. Her number skills are exceptional. I just wish her reading was better because mine was always the strength that helped me to do what I've wanted in many ways. However, it's not something I've managed to pass on easily. I think your idea about reading together is a good one. Though she's 10 she still has patches of time when she is looking to spend time with me and likes me to read to her. It would be good if we could find something that switches her on, and maybe take turns reading bits to each other. Lucky you that your mother knew enough to help you learn when you were very young!

Anyway, how are you? I'm about to go and have a hunt for your diary and see if that catches me up.
 
Hi Felici! I'm right under the smoke from that December 8th photo. It was a day without sunshine, though the heat of the sun made it through the clouds and we peaked at 37C (98.6F). Hot, hot weather. Hopefully the cool expected tomorrow gets some rain onto the affected areas. I posted a picture in my diary of the view this morning, bear in mind that this is a cloudless day - all the `mist' and clouds are actually smoke.

Good work on your continued adherence to your plan!

Well done on your
 
Thanks Tomble. I did check out your street photo yesterday. All that smoke must be a constant reminder that something unpleasant is going on. 37 degrees too. Yuck.

We didn't hear from our member in the Mt Buller area yesterday, on my other site, but I didn't see any reports of homes or towns burnt out, so I'm hopeful she has just been busy - maybe they evacuated. A couple of friends talked about their experience of other bush fires. It was amazing to hear about. We have been pretty lucky over here for a long time. I have never actually met anyone in RL who's had to defend their home. My dad did fight the fire that destroyed Dwellingup, but that was when I was very little and he died before I was old enough to talk to him about it. We did have a bit of a scare trying to camp in January, once, that was about all though.
 
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Have you tried the Harry Potter books, felici? Those were what really caught my attention when I was 9-10 I think, and apparently a BUNCH of other kids loved them as well ^_^ The newer ones might be a little iffy for a kid that young (then again, my mom bought me the Earth's Children series when I was 8 not knowing what was in them... heh XD), but 1-3 were just MAGICAL when I was a child.

They really turned me on to reading more of the fantasy genre, which a lot of people look down upon, but storytelling is very important and reading about things that may seem impossible can expand a child's horizons ^_^ I would recommend going to the Young Adult section and looking for appropriate titles there... The category is misleading, because the writing style is usually simple, but there's more to actually think about and be interested in the books than in most children's stories.

Anything my Tamora Pierce, Garth Nix, Philip Pullman, J.K. Rowling... I loved them so much around that age. And so much more has been written since I started reading the more classical novels... Maybe I should go back and check out the fantasy section again ^_^

Plus, my mom read me Poe and I loved it, lol. She left out the gory parts that would have freaked me out too much, and I had so much fun with it.

I guess my main advice would be, especially if your child is bored with reading, look beyond what would be considered age appropriate... Maybe the books she has just aren't challenging her mind enough.

And yell at any librarian who refuses to get an adult book for your kid xD I remember being so mad when they wouldn't show me where Moby Dick was when I was 10, haha. Aaanyways, just go with your instinct, and see what your kid likes :)

Good luck!

edit: OH! And I don't believe in "easy books" or "hard books" really... It's all about the subject matter, writing styles don't vary that much. Something's only a "hard book" if you aren't interested in it... Just something to think about =D
 
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Yes. I read almost all of the first three Harry Potter books to my son aloud. We have the whole set here. I loved them. My husband's read them too and I am hanging out for the next one. My daughter found them interesting too, but not as much - she got a bit scared by the end of Goblet of Fire. Yet you may be right about her being interested in older subject matter. She is kind of mature for her age and books that are more focussed on relationships might appeal to her. I'll try to fit in a library visit with her in the next couple of days.
 
For Saturday 9 December.

Woke late and busy on phone and computer so didn’t finish breakfast but I think it was sufficient and well enough balanced. Still feeling full at 11.30 so won’t bother with a snack either. I might as well leave food till lunch time. I talked to my husband about tonight’s dinner. He was interested in making a prawn and coconut curry. I talked to him about the coconut milk maybe being a bit heavy in fat, checked the tin, thought it would be ok. He left me the recipe so I can shop for it, and now I see it also has Ghee/Oil, and sour cream though he might use yoghurt though without me having to be painful about it. I think probably the way to go would be get myself a full serve of prawns, but go easy on the sauce. I could volunteer to make some sambals to go with it and just have a normal serve of rice. He doesn’t usually cook late if it’s a Saturday. I want to make sure I have a no fat lunch too.

One more general issue I have with losing weight is the “new project” issue. In the past I have tended to have one issue or hobby at a time. I get fully in to it. That is the main thing on my mind. Then after a while it is something else. So far in the last 12 to18 months these have been jewellery making/ beading, Christmas, big birthday party and photo display, Big Brother, internet forum, weight. I have to keep the weight thing going until it is second nature. Also I have to deal with something I’m not ready for yet, to do with keeping a better balance between the important everyday things and my latest project. It’s not as straightforward as it sounds. Underlying issues are to do with time use, self discipline, self image (that’s probably the unexplored area which might be a bit tricky).

The evening was a stuff up. No actual sugar, but not exactly on plan either. I couldn’t get this onto the computer last night, so I’ll just post this now and do the post mortem later.

Breakfast ~ 9:30 1 wholemeal muffin, 1 tspn margarine, 1 tspn strawberry jam, 1 boiled egg. 1/2 C coffee with 50ml Hi-Lo milk Lunch ~ 2:30 8 squares (2 serves) wholemeal crackers, 50gm cottage cheese, 1 tomato, 1 small peach. White coffee Dinner 6.30 1 medium sized serve of curried prawns and rice dished up more quickly than I expected, by my husband – I think there was not enough protein, left a little rice and a little sauce but still hungry. Sliced a medium mushroom topped it with about 1/4 serve of cottage cheese, also 1 carrot, ½ capsicum (felt more full!)Exercise: 30 min brisk walk. Snack/Dessert 8.43 1 stick celery, 1 tub apricot yoghurt, 1 small peach (didn’t want to skip dessert, but didn’t have time straight after dinner – included the celery to try and slow down the sugar/fat absorbtion. Snack9:45 3(!) handfuls of smokehouse almonds, 2 weetbix, Splenda, SoGood Water: 2500ml Bedtime: 11:00
 
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Last night I ate 3 handfuls of smokehouse almonds. That is not as bad as if it had been sugar. “Eat nuts” is one of my fallback positions, to help me cope if I am craving food during the evening. This is the first time I’ve needed it – but I thought of having one small handful, not 3 big ones! Plus even then I wasn't satisfied and went straight on to have my "big" supper - carbs plus milk, that I have only wanted one other time on this plan. I know I wasn't even allowed nuts on my old plan. I think the thought was that they contain enough oil that it interferes with sugar absorption, so then it makes my body release more insulin, and that extra insulin makes me want more sugar.

Anyway, I want to be clear about why I had this great desire for extra food during the evening. What was different? What can I change for another time?

* My husband cooked the evening meal. I tried to plan for this, but didn’t entirely follow through on my plan ie I just sort of relaxed and went "great, I get more time to myself". I didn’t prepare any sambals and I didn’t hover when I knew dinner was nearly ready, and I didn’t tell him outright that I want my rice measured, and I want to count the prawns! Anyway it tasted beautiful. I was really hungry, and after I’d eaten it I knew I hadn’t had enough food. I managed to add extra protein and veges, but I was just guessing about how much protein and carbs I got and don’t know if they were even enough. So I will have to put him in the picture more. I’ll put my plan back up on the fridge. Also I need to control my own time better.
* I went for my walk between my evening meal and my dessert. Even though I tried to fix things with the celery, I’m sure it would have been safer to keep the fruit attached to a whole meal. It’s ok during the day I think, but not after dinner when I’m in a potentially dodgy situation. I need to have the walk before dinner.
* I sat down deliberately to watch a movie I was only moderately interested in (trying to be sociable, and also thinking it would be good to broaden my pleasures). TV watching has always been a danger time for me. This was a DVD so worse in a way because no adverts for me to do bits of housework in. The only other time I’ve felt a bit munchy in the evening since starting this plan has been while watching TV. I need to try to get out of watching big patches of TV when I’m already thinking my eating is off. If I want to watch I need to plan for that - cook myself, eat masses of free veges.......
* After an hour or so, my husband fell asleep, which is predictable. However, as we had booked the main TV, and my daughter had a friend over they hopped on my computer so I couldn’t run here once I was getting scared about wanting food. I need to start writing in long hand when I need to post and can’t get on a computer.
* Maybe I would have eaten a more reasonable amount if I eaten the natural almonds instead of the salty moreish smokehouse ones. They were right next to each other!
 
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* Maybe I would have eaten a more reasonable amount if I eaten the natural almonds instead of the salty moreish smokehouse ones. They were right next to each other!

I know what you mean ): I would be healthier if I ate cereal instead of a chocolate muffin in the morning and they're right next to each other... It's good that you're figuring all this out :) I know you're going to succeed!

By the way, what are Sogood and Wholemeal?
 
SoGood is a particular brand of soya milk. It has a little less fat than cow's milk so I can have more of it and still stay within my milk allowance for the day.

Wholemeal, means something that is made with wholemeal wheat flour. Wholemeal bread, english muffins, etc. have a totally different impact on blood sugar to white bread varieties. They have a lot more fibre and this slows down how fast the body can absorb them and lets them provide necessary blood sugar to keep us active and energized , but in a steady way without providing a sugar hit which could lead to a binge. At breakfast I eat weetbix because they have a lot of bran in them and I find them more satisfying than the amount of cereal in my plan if I choose cornflakes or rice bubbles. I was told to not eat a breakfast cereal if it had more than 10% sugar, so when I am trying to eat healthily, most of them are unsuitable.
 
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