This is a war, there will be many battles

Oldschool1

New member
Hi, I'm a 31 year old woman with a lot to lose. I am currently sitting at over 200 lbs give or take a pound or two depending on many variables. I am 5'3". So, picture Danny Devito with better hair, and women's shoes.

I work full time and then some, I also, until last week, was a full time and then some student. And get this. I was a student of nutrition. Ya, you can actually get fat eating healthy foods. You can be in denial about anything and everything. You can have all the tools and education, and still compartmentalize to the point of pure stupidity. And, despite an education like the one I just obtained, you can still be addicted to cheetos and chocolate.

My first goal is to lose 30 lbs. After that, an additional 30 lbs. And, after that, maybe another 10-15 lbs, till I have a body that makes me never want to wear clothes again. Oh, and optimal health...ya, that too...

How do I plan on losing this weight? I have researched it A LOT! And now that I'm down to being only a part-time student (still working full-time), I can focus some attention on my huge ass instead of shoving my giant head in a book and pretending food doesn't have calories.

I'll also have time to visit my favorite place between my house and the closest Taco Bell, the gym.

I plan on using this diary to lament about my current battles, trials, tribulations, philosophical meanderings, daily food log for accountability...that sort of stuff. I'm pretty laid back right now though, so I don't know how often I'll get on line to post. I kinda don't want to see my computer again till next semester if I can help it, but I also like online porn so I will definatly be online at least once a day ;)

todays food log:
b: 1c mixed berries~80 cals, 1 orange cranberry scone~150 cals, 8 oz soy milk ~ 80 cals, espresso ~0 cals. =310
l: Red beans and rice ~180 cals, onion, tomato, broccoli & cauliflower sauteed in vinegar ~ 45 cal, 4 oz n/f plain yogurt ~ 40 cals, iceberg lettuce mix ~15. = 280, cumulative total: 590
snack: l/f string cheese ~60, small apple ~50. = 110, cumulative: 700
dinner: onion, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and cabbage sauteed in red wine~80 cals, 3 oz chicken breast~100 calories, franks hot sauce ~meh, lots of lettuce ~ 20 cals. = 200, cumulative 900 cals
snack 2: 4 oz glass of wine~ 100
snack 3: NS chocolate cake ~ 160, dollop of ff rediwhip~ 20
Daily cumulative total: 1180 with some to spare...and no working out...
I was pretty seditary today.
 
Bahahahahaha! Love you diary! Too funny.

Good luck and I look forward to more of your humour! lol

You can do it!
 
Hey! I loved your first post--You're obviously educated in *how* to do this, you just need to put it into practice! Good luck on your journey and hope to see you post again soon.
 
Thank you all for visiting. Humor helps me see the postive side of things. I say if you can't laugh about everything in life, what the eff is the point?

I'm in a mood this morning. Mostly because I woke up late, faught with the cat, dog and an 8 year old, had two meeting in a row and a homework assignment to turn in and I forgot to eat. So I'm running on coffee and sugar free creamer so far today. Sometimes my job and my daily schedule means, that one slip up, like forgetting breakfast, can plague me all day long. Hopefully nobody, and I mean nobody, gets between me and a lunch break today, because I may decide to make a snack out of them.

This morning I was pondering childhood obesity, and how my staff (healthcare providers) can work with families to bring healthy food and physical activity into the home. We live in a rural area, so going out and picking berries and finding edible foods for free is not a problem. Fishing, hunting, gathering, this is all within the realm of "doable" lifestyle changes. And, its free. So nobody can say "I can't afford fresh berries and wild caught salmon."

I was considering finding sponsors for a local event, to give out fishing poles and tackle boxes to teenagers, and berry buckets and freezer container to the smaller children, to encourage them to get outside and incorporate physical activity into their procurement of healthy FREE foods. It was just a thought. I thought maybe I'd share it and somebody else could run with it in their own communities. Being the boss allows me to have these great ideas, and then get my staff excited about them...all I have to do is find the money to make them go. A small sacrifice.

Tonight I'm going to try and get to the gym. I didn't go last night, because I found every excuse in the book. But, having used every excuse in the book last night, I'm shit out of luck tonight, I have to go. I think I'll find a good book to download so I have something inspiring to listen too. I've been really wanting to read the new book out by Kate Gosslin...who wouldn't want tips on raising a small army *rolls eyes*. Acutally, I've also been considering reading up on at-home tubal ligation procedures...I think that'll be more interesting for my current feeling about children.

b: lots of coffee and SF creamer~50c
l: sauteed veggies~40c; LC cheese wedge ~35; israeli couscous~ 180; =255
snack 1: 6 oz plain yogurt~60; mixed berries~80 =140
 
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Did man invent electricity to totally eff up my day? We have a new powerplant doing something or another wonky today, and surges keep taking out our phones...medical practice...phones...we kinda need them. Ya. But, we dont have a receptionist today, so who cares, right?

Last night I did something unheard of in my household. I fell asleep with a full glass of wine sitting next to me. I banked those calories...just for that wine. And I failed it. And it wasn't even one of those long hard days, that makes you shut down. I was just sitting, relaxing, rehashing season 5 of lost...there go the phones again...when all the sudden, it was 3am and the dog was barking to come inside. doubleyouteeaich, what happened. And of course, I'm like, its 3am...I should just finish this wine and hit the sack, but I'll just close my eyes for a second and rest them...so sleeppy....and then it was around 7am and time to go to work and the chance to drink my wine had been lost. dammit.

I stepped on the scale this morning thinking I'd start my day off in the positive, with a loss. I lost 2 lbs since the last time I weighed in, about a week and a half ago, but...it was only two lbs...I was hoping for something more substantial in a week and a half. I guess I need to seriously bump up my physical activity. I did order a bike for my constant companion so we can ride together. That would be fun. Last summer we rode our bikes a lot. But some people don't know how to store their bikes over winter, and they rust and get mangled by the snow plow...thus needing a new one. I got the spoiled brat a tony hawk bmx...he'll be soooo kewl, riding the beach road to the bodega, can't wait for summer to really get into swing.
 
Another day, probably another bill to pay. Or at least something that breaks and needs a fix (like a crackhead).

b: double chocolate muffin~ 160, sf creamer~30, coffee~free =190
l: hot dog thingy~80, sauteed peppers~30, ranch dressing ~50 =160
snack 1: apple~60, cheese stick~60 =120
d: green beans and garlic sauteed in red wine~50, 3 oz lox~100, Tbsp goat cheese~50, 100 calorie sandwich round~100 =300
snack 2: glass of red wine~100, NS chocolate cake~160 =260

All together that comes to 1030, so I'm going to add some fat in there and some protein. I say that, but I'm really going to round it out with extra wine...
 
Hiya Oldschool!

Just checking your diary!

2 lbs might not sound like a lot but it is!

I would be happy to lose 2 lbs in a week and still get to enjoy chocolate muffins and ns chocolate cake!

Keep up the good work.

(btw...I'm a power plant operator lol. Honest I had nothing to do with it! lol)
 
You know when you have a routine, and that routine is thrown off by someone, how it can screw with your whole day? I'm having that kind of day. I'm just off by a hair and I can't manage to reign it in.

I'm leaving tomorrow to fly to Denver to graduate from yet another program, and then there will be just me, a full time job, and my war on fat. So anyways, I tend to do poorly at diet and exercise when traveling. And it doesn't help that the classmates that I'll be graduating with are celebratory people, who celebrate everything and will no doubt want to drink a few kegs over the course of the week. This, I must find a way to avoid. I'm in the running for valedictorian, so I should probably prepare a speach...the stress is already getting to me. And I'm a stress drinker. I can easily consume thousands of calories a day in tasty tasty booze when I'm numbing out the stress. Geeze, I could save a lot of calories if I just developed a drug addiction instead of a drinking problem.
 
food and numbers for today:
b: orange scone~150, coffe w/ sf creamer ~50 =200
l: chicken caccitorri thing ~130, pear~80, plain yogurt~80 =290
d: tba

I'm not feeling any culinary creativity today.
I just downloaded a whole bunch of music for my iPod for cardio...get your heart pumping tempos and such. I love the elliptical but sometimes, without good music, its just freakin boring.
 
Wow! Congrats on all the academic achievements! Smart and losing weight too! Good for you!

Have a great safe trip and enjoy yourself. Try to moderate your food and alcohol. And when you come back, hopefully you wont be off track.

Take care!
 
Thanks Flumes! The plan is to not get off track, so I don't have to try to get back on. I'll probably have a few drinks after the graduation ceremony and banquet, but, I'm not going to whoop it up, just because Saturday morning I have to hop a plane home and nothing good every comes of flying on a hangover...I've tried it before and its just bad practice.
 
Lol @ Flumes

So, I fell asleep last night without packing, woke up this morning, panicked, threw everything in a suitcase and went to the office to download homework. When I checked in at the airport my plane was still sitting in another city. So, now I'm sitting around waiting on a plane when before I was manic with crap to do. I'm pretty sure I'm going to miss my connection.

On my way to my class and graduation, which starts monday, I'm stopping in Seattle for the weekend. My biological father lives there. My step brother is going to pick me up at the hotel and drive me out to his place so I can just show up all unexpected like, and see if he recognizes me. I haven't seen him in 11 years. This should be interesting. Either he'll shoot me, he'll have a heart attack, or we'll immediatly rush into eachothers arms and then have some beers. I'm voting for the last one.

Right now I am losing weight. Just thought I'd point that out. Actively burning fat. I forgot to eat breakfast again, and I'm starving.
 
sitting in an airport in an undisclosed location, just drank two beers and ate a cobb salad, it was the first "food" I had today, so I'm not worried about calorie counts...however, not the bestest nutrition. Oh, and now a really fine fine fine man who I just sat next to is going to buy me a strawberry milkshake. Ya, my ass needs a milkshake.
 
I've finally made it to Denver where my class is. Spent time with my Dad yesterday, it was good. We drank beer and caught up. I'm going to take my son to meet him in July. Seeing him, after 10 years, makes me realize how much I miss him. maybe some day I'll move closer to him so I can get in some quality time before his time on this earth is up.

with all the traveling, I've managed to not over do it, except maybe on beer...okay, I've really over done it on the beer. But, I brought food with me, and there is a grocery store downt he street to buy veg, and a park across the street to walk in in the evenings. I'll be here till my graduation on Friday.

This hotel has suck ass tv choices...no good channels, no movies...what the heck am I going to do till I pass out in a few hours? Geeze, I should have brought my 360.
 
sitting in an airport in an undisclosed location, just drank two beers and ate a cobb salad, it was the first "food" I had today, so I'm not worried about calorie counts...however, not the bestest nutrition. Oh, and now a really fine fine fine man who I just sat next to is going to buy me a strawberry milkshake. Ya, my ass needs a milkshake.

ROFLMAO! Like he shoulda bought ya a beer instead?? lol

Love your posts hun!
 
Glad you are having a good time and that your time with your Dad is going well. Thats great!

Easy on the brewskies. I put a dent in a few cans this weekend too. Back to reality now....least till next weekend ; )

Have a great day!
 
Okay, so I did great my first day of class last week, and then...there was a birthday in our Alaska delegation, so we went to a brewery...where they served a sample set of all their beers from light to dark in 5 oz glasses...ahem.

We went there two nights that week. We had kareoke and cocktails another night, and another night there was the obligitory Rockies game, with hot dogs and beers. Ya, it was like I was in college all over again. Fucking fuck fuck.

So then I got home on saturday night after a crazy 16 hours with my BFF from high school, that was just stupid. Bars, after party, early morning saturday market then bruch and a whirlwind Target pit stop before the airport...which I barley made my plane by the skin of my teeth, ifn my teeth had skin (I never got that turn of phrase anyways).

Then I did nothing but try and catch up on 9 months of disorganization at my house on sunday till my mom dragged me out to go mushroom hunting. There I was in the pristine hills of gods cathedral when a pair of pissed off eagles started dive bombing me because I had ventured too close to their nest. I had to hit the deck, twice, while running and screaming for my trusty attack dog, who was running the opposite direction to go and hide under the truck. I didn't find any mushrooms, but the cortisol releasing fight or flight response of being attacked and running for my life got my heart pumping...almost out of my chest. So it was a good workout at least.

Yesterday I did the memorial day bbq at my office, then a three mile bike ride uphill both ways. I'm really out of shape. This morning I walked my son to school then backtracked to my office. Got, here, realized everybody is at an offsite meeting and...here I am. Thats my shameful update. Back on track now though.
 
Last night I was lame. LAME! I laid down to rest my eyes at like, 6pm. Then, all the sudden it was 8:30 and guess who forgot to call her kid in, feed him, and put him to bed? me. So I had to go kid hunting though the neighborhood, and found that another family had taken him in and fed him. My son, the orphan. Then, I sat down to catch up on the last season of lost, I'm only on the forth episode and so help me, if anybody spoils it for me....anyways, I fell asleep again. FFWD to today. So here I am.
 
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