Third time's a charm, supposedly....

San said:
And I know....I know. It's always one extreme or the other with me. I promise I will pick up some extra stuff tomorrow, and throw some extra veggies in the mix - have been neglecting those recently as well. :(
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Same problem with me. I tend to consume too few calories as well. But the results I'm getting are so satisfying that it's hard to bring myself to eat that extra snack, even though I know I should probably do it.
 
I get concerned with the calories as well, don't want to sabotage my metabolism or be insufficient in vitamins or fats my body needs.
Think one our size san (I am around 310 pounds) should eat no less than 1500 maybe even 16-1700.
Hoping today's pain will be easy on you.
 
Heretic - that's one of my problems as well. I know I shouldn't be doing it this way, but it works, so it is difficult to convince myself to eat more. I do pig out on weekends, so I am hoping that that reminds my body that it's not starving at all....*lol*

Clarissa - I'm trying to get what I need into whatever calories I eat, but I do know that I seriously need to work on my diet, get more veggies etc in. At the moment I am just trying to cut calories, and then I will work on the healthy aspect. Or at least that's the plan. And I'm trying to up those calories - you are right, I think I could eat about 1850 and still lose at a good pace.

Sunflower - thanks. :) Hope you're having a good evening as well - I was out in the sun a little today, but I was working, so I didn't get that much chance to sit around. Still nice though!

Overall, I had an okay day I guess. Pain has lessened considerably, and I had a good, somewhat productive day at work - my boss went off to do all sorts of stuff and left me on my own with the shop, so I was rather busy trying to sort donations, get clothes steamed and hung up, priced and put out, moving loads of black bags around, and serving and entertaining customers at the same time. Oh, and answering the phone, because for some reason, our directory inquiry service gives out our number as the number of the main animal centre. So we get dozens of calls from people with animal problems every day.

I tried to tweak my eating a little, but it didn't work out as well as I was hoping.....

4 slices nimble, 2 slices cheese, one cream cheese triangle, one slice roast pork - 375 kcal
2 slices white bread, 2 medium boiled eggs - 320 kcal
1 piece of salmon, mashed potato, creamed spinach - 530 kcal
Grand total - 1225 kcal.

Still not great, but better than the days before.:)
 
San said:
I do pig out on weekends, so I am hoping that that reminds my body that it's not starving at all....*lol*
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Yep, I'm definitely guilty of doing that as well. Sunday is the day where I eat what I want and as much as I want. This might not be scientific at all, but I feel like this one "cheat day" keeps my metabolism in balance. Not to mention I'd go insane without it.
 
Hey San,

Good luck with the new diary! I know the feeling with keeping diaries up to date, even though I try to read through threads most days, I find it hard to write anything useful in my own thread lol :)

Sorry to hear the new challenge ended badly, but sometimes you have to look after number 1 (Yourself). If it was causing you that many problems I'm sure everyone will understand why you stopped it.

Steve
 
So I fell of the diary bandwagon already. Not because I wanted to, mind you, things got kind of too much for a little while, and there wasn't really much time to write. And I didn't feel like it either. Feeling a bit better now, even though I'm still annoyed at the lack of progress, weight wise. One week I put weight on, the next I'm on the exact same weight as the week before. I couldn't work out as much as I wanted, but was extremely careful with my eating. Oh well...guess I will have to work a little harder.

Right now, I'm filled to the hilt with codeine. Had to cave in on the 'I'm not taking painkillers' thing due to absolutely deadly cramps. Haven't had anything like this for a long time. Since I was about 16, to be exact. Starting to wonder if there is something wrong with the IUD - if it doesn't get better in the next couple of days, another trip to the doc might be in order.

Anyway....in other news, I just found out that the wedding I was supposed to go to in September has been postponed until next year. On the plus side, that gives me more time to lose more weight, and feel more comfortable in the dress. It will also make me feel more comfortable having my picture taken while I am there, when we go to Disneyland and all of that. Also, no wondering whether I will fit in the rides and things like that. On the other hand - I have a non-refundable ticket, and no means to get another one for next year. So I will have to have the dates on the ticket changed, which will cost me a whopping $380. Because, as we all know, people are just made of money, and it is perfectly reasonable to ask for almost $400 to change the dates on a piece of paper. And it's not as if it's just before the date on the ticket - it's well in advance. But what can I do? It's either that, or losing the money AND the ticket.

So yeah, kind of torn about that. I hate to pay all that money on top of everything else, but it makes me a happy bunny to think that maybe, just maybe, I might actually like the pictures that will be taken during that trip, and look genuinely happy on them. Which hasn't happened on a picture of me for a long time, believe me!!

Otherwise not much happened, just the same old. I have taken up watching episodes of TV shows while on the treadmill - just a word of advice, if you watch something scary, don't lean forward to get a better view, and then jump when you get startled. I did just that, and ended up on my backside, slid off the treadmill and banged my head against the cross-trainer behind me. Fortunately I was alone in there at the time. :p Also, if you walk on the treadmill and start giggling, people will look at you funny. ;)

Bed time for me now....quick food re-cap for today:

Breakfast: 3 slices nimble bread (165 kcal), 2 slices cheese (110), 1 cheese triangle (25): 300 kcal
Lunch: 3 slices nimble bread (165 kcal), 2 slices cheese (110), 1 slice ham (20 kcal), cappucchino (85 kcal): 380 kcal
Dinner: Chicken fillet burger (roughly 400 kcal): 400 kcal
overall: 1080 kcal

I deliberately stayed low today because I overdid it on Sunday. Will gradually build up over the week. And I will buy some fruit tomorrow, honestly. ;)
 
San, I've an IUD as well. I've had mine for about 4.5 years now and while I've had some occasional (very, very occasional) cramps (and usually only after heavy lifting), I've never had any bad enough to require anything more than a regular dose of Aleve. If you're hurting enough to need a narcotic pain killer, you really should see a doctor again.
 
Belinda - I know. I had my old one for five years with no trouble, so this one is quite unusual. I have only had it changed just over two weeks ago, so I am wondering if it is still an after effect from the change. That's why I'm giving it a couple of more days, but if it hasn't calmed down by tomorrow, I'll have her check it again. I'm usually quite good at handling pain, but this is something else....ouw! :/
 
It's kind of annoying about the wedding--Why did they postpone? Seems kind of unfair to make people who made travel arrangements pay even more!
 
So I completely failed at keeping up with this diary. *sigh* Again! *double sigh*

Seems like every time I try, something gets in the way. So I won't promise that I will post every day from now on, just as often as I can.

First things first - Sunflower, the reasons for the wedding being postponed are financial ones - the mother of the groom had promised financial support for several things, and suddenly, and without warning or explanation, decided that she wouldn't do it, and doesn't want anything to do with her son anymore. The woman is a psycho, I tell you. They are better off without her, but now they are unable to finance the wedding, and were forced to postpone. And they actually offered to pay me the money back that I need to make the changes, but I refused. Told them to put it towards their wedding next year. It wasn't their fault, and it's stressful enough for them without having to try and give me hundreds of dollars. I'm putting some money to one side each month, and should have enough together to make the changes next month, so it'll be fine. :) And as said, more time for me to slim down a little. :)

In other news - my IUD had slipped and perforated everything that it found on the way. That's where the pain came from. Even better - they can't get it out without doing more damage, so they injected me with strong painkillers (directly into my uterus....that was fun :( ), antibiotics (because there's an infection due to the damage done), and I'll have to go in for surgery next Wednesday so they can get the damn thing out and assess the damage done. Fun times.

I didn't manage to do as much exercise as I would have liked to (and still can't), because it hurts and makes things worse, but on the plus side, I haven't been overly hungry, so it was easy to keep my calories down. I'm under 310 lbs now, and am hoping to get under 300 by the end of July. That'll be the first milestone. It just seems so much more difficult than it did last time....*sigh*

What was nice though, I found a pair of jeans that I bought quite a while back, and I could never fit into them. Brand new pair of really pretty ones of eBay, managed to get them for £ 1.99, and it was killing me that I couldn't get them on. Well....I tried them yesterday, and they fasten. I'd be lying if I said that they are entirely comfortable, but last time I tried, I couldn't get them very far past my knees. So yeah....that was nice. :)
 
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Okay, trying the accountability thing here as well again....didn't work so well last month, but hey.

DateTargetActualLoss/Gain
June 29th307.2 lbsn/an/a
July 6th305.7 lbs305.2 lbs- 2.0 lbs
July 13th304.2 lbs
July 20th302.7 lbs
July 27th301.2 lbs

So far, I'm actually further than my target, but my loss has been pretty weird to say the least, so I am not going all giddy about it at the first weigh in of the month.

It has started to get really warm around here, so that's keeping my appetite at bay, which is helpful. On the negative, it makes me more achy and in pain for some reason - colder weather is definitely better for me. Usually it's the other way around for people, but I guess I just have to be a little different. *lol*

I'm having really weird dreams lately, in the few hours that I actually manage to sleep. Last night I dreamt that my husband had a heart attack and died. And people wonder why I'm reluctant to even go to bed anymore. I either toss and turn, or dream crap that scares me. Neither of that is very appealing, I can tell you that!

I'm trying to get a bit more order into my life. I'm really struggling with my stepson, who is getting progressively worse at schoon - he's just headbutted a member of staff, and goes around hitting and kicking people. (Just for clarification - he's got has got Autistic Spectrum disorder, or at least that is what they call it - the truth is, he was born with the cord around his neck, was deprived of oxygen for the better part of an hour, and simply has brain damage. But calling it mental retardation, as it would be correct, apparently isn't PC, so they slapped a nice little label on it and call it ASD. Same difference though. Imagine him like a 13 year old body, with the mind of an 18 months old toddler. He doesn't speak, has no understanding of people around him, and can't do even basic things for himself. Couple that with violent outbursts when he doesn't get what he want, and there you go). He doesn't behave like that at home, only in school, so obviously whatever sets him off is their fault, but they still want *me* to do something about it. Obviously. Sometimes I wonder if the teachers in that place aren't all with it either. *grumble*

Anyway, there is that, then there's the whole medical issues, the house looks like a bombsite with ripped wallpaper, damaged walls (courtesy of my stepson) and cracks in the walls (courtesy of a crappy landlord who simply doesn't care). The back garden is a mess - I am not a gardener, I have no interest in flowers, I don't have the patience to keep it maintained, and I don't have the money to just get somebody to come in and keep an eye on it.

Add to that a husband who thinks his job in the house is to sit in front of a computer and tell me when the floor needs vacuuming, and you might get the picture. *sigh*

Think I've been complaining enough for one day. Just not feeling the love today, so sorry to anybody who had to read through all of this. I won't turn it into a habit, promise.
 
I'm warm....and somehow I really, really upset my stomach. So my cheat day isn't so much a cheat day as a 'doubled over in pain' day. Meh.
Is it weird that I am looking forward to working out tomorrow? I always looked at it as a chore, but I'm starting to enjoy it. Especially because it seems to bring results. It's nice to start fitting into clothes again, nice change from having two pairs of jeans and two t-shirts to choose from. :)
 
IUD removed. Damage is extensive, to the point that I will most likely never have to worry about contraception again. Which is fine, because I'm too old for kids anyway, and never wanted any. Still, It's not exactly fun. They say it will take a few weeks until everything heals, but the pain relief was pretty much immediate, so that was something at least.

I found a few more pairs of jeans that I fit into - old ones from last time I lost weight, but I've only worn them a couple of times. And for the first time in ages, I went to work in 3/4 length jeans. I never wear short stuff, not even 3/4, but it's unbearably warm here at the moment, so I caved in. A customer that comes in regularly saw me, looked me up and down and said 'Why in the world are you hiding those legs in baggy jeans all the time? Your outfit looks great.' That was nice. :)
 
Glad they've removed it--hopefully things will begin improving now. Nice news about the jeans! Always good to get compliments xx
 
Thanks Clarissa and Sunflower. I'm hoping that this is truly the end of the whole thing now - I've had about enough of hospitals for the year. *lol*

And yes, compliments are nice, I admit that with no shame whatsoever. Especially because I am one of those people who doesn't see any difference when looking into the mirror. To myself, I look exactly the same now as I did when I started. So getting some feedback from 'outside', so to speak, really does help. :)
 
Really not feeling so well today. It's really warm and humid, with no breeze or anything to make it better. Had a blazing headache from the get-go, and was stupid enough to go to the gym and do a full workout. At the moment I would really like to have a head-replacement....ugh! Workouts give me a headache at the best of days, so this was just silly. Ah well, you live, you learn. Or if you're me, you live and make the same mistakes over and over again. ;)

Cheat day tomorrow. Probably won't be as bad as usual, simply because the heat makes me not want to eat. So it'll probably be mostly ice cream I'll cheat with. Oh, and I'm making Lasagne for dinner - one of the few things I am able to make. I'm a horrible cook! *lol*
 
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