The Time Has Come: This Weight Is Killing Me...Mentally and Physically. Help

L

LookingToLose

New member
Hi.
This is very hard for me because this is such a sensitive subject for me. I'm 20 years old and i am a full time waiter. I hate my job but it pays the bills. I hate it because i see myself doing something amazing with my life not asking someone how their steak is. My whole life ive been big. My whole life i have been teased and its always effected me Im 6'3 but i have no idea how much i weigh because im just terrifed to know. I wear a 42/44 Waist and an XXL Shirt. This weight is killing me. Im so sick of being overweight and hating myself for it. Im sick of being asked if i play football because im big. My dream is to lose atleast 80lbs, I just dont know how. I know some of my problems though. I am not active...at all. I know i need to but i dont know where to start and i dont want to go to a gym with all these buff people and here i am the fat kid. I also binge eat at night. Even if im not hungry but i am bored i will eat, and not good things. I just need someone to support me the whole way through the very very very beginning of my journey.

please help my life is miserable because of this

Sincerely,

Nick
Sandwich Massachusetts
 
I'm very self-conscious about weight, too... I'm 5'8", weigh 140 lbs, and feel like a linebacker next to all the shorter, more petite girls. Weight really can kill you, with worry if not with health problems.

Coming here was the first step, and make sure that you don't quit, because the people on this forum really can help.

If you don't like the gym, maybe you could try going on walks and jogs?

Also, calculate your BMR on a website, and take away 500 calories from that number, which is the amount you should eat. You'll have to know how much you weigh, first...

Send me a PM if you ever want help :) I'm here a lot!
 
Gday Nick.

Here's something that you have to accept.

You can actually lose all this weight. It's not necessarily easy, but you CAN do it if you want it bad enough, which it's obvious you do. Realising that it's actually possible made quite a difference to me, like when I realised after a bit of jogging that hey, I can actually jog! Not well, not far, but a bit, and improving!

You don't need to go on crash diets or spend your life at the gym. My first step was cutting out the sugar I used to eat. A couple of weeks of cravings, then I learned to deal with it, and now I am really not that interested in sweet stuff. I am more interested in getting healthy and losing the weight.

Also, don't diet. You're not on a diet, you're changing how you eat. Being on a diet implies going off a diet, which isn't what you should be doing. All that fast food and sugar, that's what other people eat. Not you! Learn to look at it with mild disgust! :)

Finally, I think you should either bite the bullet and either weigh or measure yourself. If you don't know where you're starting from you may get discouraged when you can't see any difference. I've lost quite a bit of weight so far, but I can barely tell from looking in the mirror because it's taken a while. Keep your eyes on the scales or a tape measure, and when you're tempted to overeat just think about how you'll feel instead when you're looking at that decreasing number. You'll feel proud of what you've achieved, and rightly so. I used to loathe the scales, now I'm excited to get on them in the morning. Some days they're down, some days they're up. But on average, they are going down! I also recommend keeping a logbook with your weight. If you get discouraged because it goes up a bit, look in your logbook and you might find it's still a downwards trend.

Okay, I've rambled enough. I might sound like I know a good amount of stuff about this, but I'm still in the same boat as you are, I've been heavy most of my life and I really see this as my final attempt to get control. Good luck!
 
Oh, and I meant to mention, you don't need to worry about hitting the gym and all the buff people there. Just get out for a walk, or do some exercise at home.

I'm going to post a couple of links, and I hope this is okay because I am a newb here. I promise I'm not affiliated with these sites (and it's not like they're for profit, anyway).

The hackers diet is extremely good if you want an understanding of how your body works with storing and getting rid of fat. It gave me a really clear idea of what was going on, why I was overweight and what to do about it. It's not a crash diet.


Shovelglove is a weird name for a great indoor exercise that's surprisingly thorough. I do this a couple of times a week and it never fails to raise a sweat!


Hope that helps! I'm writing quite a bit because I can relate to your situation quite well, hope you're not sick of hearing from me!
 
I totally agree with Tomble. It's not neccesary to crash diet or live in the gym. Start walking on a regular basis. Cut out all of the extra sugary and fatty crap. When you feel like crap and want to start eating, come here instead. The people here are so supportive and kind. I recommend starting a diary and logging what you eat and how you feel about food and yourself on a daily basis. Sounds a little touchy-feely, but it really helps to see it all in black and white. Good luck! I know you can do it.
 
Hey, and welcome.

I am 19 and I know what you mean -it's hard when others our age are looking all healthy and attractive etc.

You sound like me -I was spending all my spare time infront of the tv, asleep, or more often infront of the computer rotting lol. And also the boredom thing... eating really does give you something to do especially if you enjoy cooking like I do.

My solution was to make excercise my priority. Look at your week in advance and look at what days you have off, or days you have a few hours you could fit some excercise into. I find setting a day and time is easier to stick to. Then DO IT. Don't let yourself come up with excuses. And if you're bored... excercise is a great way to fill that half an hour. Lose 100 cals rather than eating an extra 100!

I know it's not too exciting when you're starting out. But once you start to feel and see the difference you will feel a lot more motivated to carry on.

Just plan out when you can do some excercise and make yourself stick with that plan. Anything will do -walking, cycling... or if you don't want to be seen at all get yourself some sort of DVD to follow at home. I felt pretty silly the first time I did an excercise DVD but frankly I couldn't care less any more.

Good luck. :)
 
im just scared.

im not in any good shape i need to lose god like 80lbs i wouldnt know where to begin all i know is it is mentally killing me
 
The thing is to begin man! get going, and then you're on the other side, it's the first thing to do, to put excuses away, because it's possible and it can be easy as well, just think of how you really want to be. :D
 
LookingToLose said:
im just scared.

im not in any good shape i need to lose god like 80lbs i wouldnt know where to begin all i know is it is mentally killing me
Click to expand...

You've already begun. Work out what you need to be eating and more importantly DON'T need to be eating. Try and cut those things out, and really avoid sweet fizzy drinks and the like. They're delicious but so loaded with calories it's ridiculous.

My goal is to lose a total of 80lbs too, and I've managed to get through about 26 of those so far. It takes time, and it seems like a goal you can never reach, but if you're too scared to start the journey you'll never even have a chance of getting there. I understand how difficult it is because I've been struggling with weight all my life.

Try not to stress about it right now, that stress is just going to make you sick. Get positive about losing the weight. Go out for a walk. Keep away from food when you don't need it. Throw away those snacks. Remind yourself that it can be done.

I recommend reading as much as you can about nutrition and weight loss, but steer away from crash diets. It's taken you a lifetime to put the weight on, it's not going to come off in a month no matter how much you want it to. A tough fact, I know, but please don't let it discourage you. You could even sign up with someone like Weight Watchers, who I've heard many positive things about.

Oh, and don't forget to check out the before, during and after section of this website. You'll see some people in the same situation or even worse making really positive changes in their lives, losing the weight they thought they would wear for the rest of their lives. I spent a couple of hours reading all those posts and I was filled with admiration and inspiration.

Okay, I do go on and on, don't I? :p

Feel free to send me a private message if you want to chat.

Tom.
 
There is no faster way than to take action right now :)

Have a clear measurable goal (which you've already done) and plan out the things you need to do. Well for example, you want to lose 80 lbs right? If you were to ask me, I'd do it this way.

Month 1 - Goal: Lose 15
Todo list:
1) stop eating empty calories
2) eat more greens
3) run 30-40 minutes a day

month 2-x: so on and so forth

You really have to be clear on what your goal is and how you intend to achieve that goal day by day, week by week, and month by month. If it's not clear to you then you'll have a harder time achieving that goal.

The first article on my free mini ecourse talks about this. Let me know if you want to join it :)
 
all this information is good and overwhelming

i dont know what empty calories are and what i need to eat and when and how much.

aww this sucks

i seriously need someone to like hold my hand

pathetic huh?

i guess first step is to see how much i weigh?

im scared though
 
Before you step on that scale, make a promise to yourself that no matter what that number is, this will be the VERY last time you'll ever see yourself at that weight. It might help out to have a plan like weightlosspaul recommended- focus on that, not on that silly number on the scale.

Once your convince yourself of that, it's all downhill from there! There's no use beating yourself up about it anymore- everyone has a time in their life where they slip up and they end up at a place where they'd rather not be... Keep your chin up, get on that scale, write down your measurements and move on.

And once you start exercising (it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you keep up with it) you'll feel a lot better. You're a work of art- masterpieces take time. You just have to remember that your health and wellbeing is a worthwhile investment.

Hang in there! And welcome to the forum!
 
LookingToLose said:
i seriously need someone to like hold my hand

pathetic huh?

i guess first step is to see how much i weigh?

im scared though
Click to expand...

It's not pathetic. I reckon most of the people on this forum would know that fear all too well. Get on the scales. You're not going to like it, but like foxhunt says, keep in mind it's the last time you'll see yourself at that weight.

Ask as many questions as you want, knowledge is power.

Empty calories are what you'll find in very sugary foods or very fatty foods. You're eating them and getting a lot of calories, but you're not getting any real nutrition. You could eat a couple of chocolate bars for the same calories as you might find in a whole meal! Yet, you've got no food value, and you'll probably be hungry soon after because your body didn't get the nutrition it needed.

If you can cut out sweet drinks and sugary snacks, you've made a very important step.
 
Empty Calories are any food/drink that you ingest that are not healthy for you.

Here's a few examples:

Soda---BIG waste of calories, you can drink 8 ounces for 120 calories or you can eat 3 cups of salad, 1/2 cup of cucumbers, 1/4 cup of carrorts, 4 cherry tomatoes, and 1 tablespoon of fat free dressing.

Big Mac---600+ calories of 'food' that is high in fat, cholestrol, and carbohydrates. You could have a small turkey sub with veggies, potato chips, and a diet mountain dew from Quiznos for 620 calories--which is a meal that I've lived on during this diet.

Ok, so now here I go--I'm going to push you on a little bit.

Stop freakin' out. You know that you want to lose weight so just stop saying you don't know what to do and start figurin' it out.

#1. Keep track of the food you eat today. Yes, count the calories. You'd be surprised how many calories you can consume in a day without even thinking about it. Go to fitday.com, open a free account and get to counting. For today, try for between 1800-2000.

#2. Exercise today. Go for a walk, do some sit-ups, jog in place....do something for at least 30 minutes today.

Now get to it---GO!
 
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