The Pia Project

M

Ms. Pia

New member
Hello!

This is not my first time on the forum, but I wanted to start anew, so here I am. Previously went under the username "30poundsdown" but that didn't work out so well, and I didn't really like that name anyway :p

I think this is the third time I've started a diary, which is a little disheartening... but y'know what they say, right? Third times the charm! Anyway, a little background on me - I'm a full time EMT working towards becoming a Paramedic (and subsequently a Fire-Medic... or perhaps a Flight-Medic, if I'm feeling particularly ambitious in a year or two) and although I love my job, its definitely helped me put on a few extra pounds. I was already overweight when I began, but long hours sitting in an ambulance have not helped my cause. Its also so much more convenient to simply pick something up while I'm out there, rather than taking the time to plan meals ahead and bring food with me on the rig.

I see patients every day and it scares me how bad some of their conditions are. Diabetes, kidney failure, heart failure, obesity, hypertension... the list goes on and on. I keep telling myself that I don't want to end up that way, but with the way things are going, I know that if I don't shape up soon, I'll continue to let myself go and then twenty or thirty years down the line, I'll be in the same exact position as my patients are now - transported via an ambulance 3x a week for dialysis, with missing limbs and high blood pressure that's through the roof.

My job is exhausting. I spend 8-12 hours a day driving all over the county, transporting from one hospital to the next. Its stressful. When you have a patient whose unresponsive, pale, nearly pulse less and having difficulty breathing, you get a big dose of adrenaline and it doesn't die down for a long time. Your heart is going a mile a minute and you're on this high, but then later, when its all over... you crash. You're spent. But you still have 5 more hours on duty, and then you get another call where someone else is in trouble. Its an endless cycle of ups and downs and by the time I get off shift, I'm beyond tired. I've been run to the ground and the last thing on my mind is eating a healthy meal and going to the gym. Most of the time, I end up stopping at a drive-thru on the way home and then falling asleep the instant I hit the bed.

I really can't take it anymore.

This isn't about aesthetics. This isn't about being a size 0. I just want to be HEALTHY. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of running out of breathe just walking up a few flights of stairs. I'm tired of eating crappy food, and then feeling absolutely disgusted with myself five minutes later. I'm tired of living in fear, afraid of what will happen to me when I'm older and in even worse shape than I am now. I'm done. No more. Enough is enough.

I'm not quite sure where I was, but the other day I saw a picture/post from a few months ago that said something along the lines of, "Summer is nine months away. A human being is born in nine months. What can YOU accomplish in nine months?"

Nine months from now - September - sounds so far away, but in retrospect, its but a speck of time in the long years of your life. Is nine months of dedication really so bad? I don't think so. In fact, its a fair trade off. So much can happen in nine months! A group of cells can grow from almost nothing into a fully functional human being; you can start school in the fall, dead last in class, and then graduate valedictorian if you tried hard enough. Why am I wasting my time making excuses when the person I want to be - the person I KNOW that I can be - is only nine months away? I'm not saying that in nine months time, I'll be some world class athlete - no, all I'm saying is that, nine months from now, I'll be in 10x better shape than I am now. Because anything... ANYTHING... is better than the condition I'm in currently.

I renewed my gym membership for the next two years and I've been going for about an hour every day. I "officially" start my journey on Monday (I'm a bit OCD and have issues with starting anything in the middle of the week) but I'll still be posting here every day until then, just to get myself back into the habit.

This time, I promise to succeed, so you'll be seeing a lot of me from now on!

Until next time,
Pia
 
gossipgirlfan: Hello! My job isn't so 'hard' as it is... chaotic. Some days will be very slow and I'll be nothing more than a glorified taxi driver bringing patients to appointments and dialysis, and then other days I'll be running from ER call, to critical care transport, to everything in between. Still, I love it endlessly, and I don't think I'll ever get bored of it. Thanks for the 'good luck'! I'll need it :p

a-n-g-e-l:Thank you, as well! I'm already excited to write everything down! I have high hopes for this attempt!
 
Sounds like you have hit your "tipping point" of being done with the crap you've been doing. Now comes the hard part - changing old bad habits, but you can do this! :)

I've seen posts online for slow cooker recipes than can be frozen. Perhaps on your days off you can do a bunch of cooking (slow cooker or regular stuff) which will last until your next day off? Freeze what you won't use in the coming couple of days and take it out as needed. Something I need to start doing on weekends for sure. Fruits like apples and mandarin oranges are great on-the-go healthy stuff to take with you. Or even baby carrots - no prep needed!

The daily exercising at the gym is great, good for you! Definitely off to a good pre-start, hopefully come Monday you will already be in a good routine.
 
Setting Goals

I told myself that I would start posting here, even though I "officially" start Monday, but time has been very scarce these past few days. Tomorrow, though, I WILL force myself to make the time, even if it cuts out an extra 15 minutes of bedtime. Habits (good ones) need to be formed, and this really isn't that hard compared to certain other ones.

Anyway, I've been thinking over the past few days that I haven't set any specific goals. Getting healthy is a great start, but its far too vague and I feel as if I don't iron out the specific details, I may get lazy with it. So, without further ado, here are my main goals.

---

1. Drop the extra pounds

Obviously, I'd like to drop down to a 'healthy' weight for my height. I'm 5'2, so according to charts, I SHOULD be somewhere between 99-121 pounds. As I stated in my first post, this isn't about aesthetics or getting to size 0. I want to be healthy and I know aiming for 99lbs is just way too ambitious (and not exactly something I'm looking for, anyway). Still, I'd be quite happy if I could make it down to 115-120lbs.

I know that weight doesn't just melt off after a few weeks of hitting the gym. This fat didn't just appear on my body overnight, so I shouldn't expect it to disappear that quickly either. Realistically, I'd like to aim for 2lbs a week, or 8lbs a month - which is supposedly safe enough. If I lose 5lbs or so when I start, I know that it's just water weight, and I won't be too worried about losing weight too quickly.

2. Improve cardiovascular health/endurance

I'm in terrible shape. I mean, I think that's pretty self explanatory, but even a quick walk up the stairs has me huffing and puffing. Its pretty embarrassing, especially in front of patients. I mean, here I am, responsible for their health and well-being, and I can't even take proper care of myself. Shame on me.

I hate running, and running hates me. These short, stubby legs just weren't made for that. I prefer the elliptical and rower over the treadmill, but since stairs seem to be the bane of my existence, I plan to suck it up and do my cardio on the stair-climbers. I want to be able to complete 30min straight, without feeling like I'm going to pass out afterwards. I'll start slow and work my way up. Baby steps all the way.

3. Increase strength and muscle tone

I'm small, and weak, and I absolutely hate it. I have patients that are easily 300+lbs, and I end up relying on my partner (I'm always paired with guys) to shoulder the majority of their weight. One of my major goals this year is to learn proper lifting technique and to work on building up my strength. My height - or lack thereof - is no longer an excuse to not get things done. The further and further I get into my specific career field, the stronger I'll need to be, and the sooner I start the better off I'll be.

4. Cut the junk food

This should be a given, but I think it needs to be said. Especially considering my track-record when on-duty. I actually don't have a kitchen right now, as its undergoing a bit of reconstruction due to water damage. That being said, I can still prepare healthy snacks to take along to work. And if I'm going to buy lunch, I need to really consider my options. Soups, salads, sandwiches... all filling meals, and much better than the alternative burger, fries, nuggets, etc.

I also realize that I have a coffee addiction. I work the weirdest hours and I usually rely on a quick pick-me-up from Starbucks to get me through those 4AM shifts. I'd like to try and cut that out, and while I can't forgo caffeine all together, I can reach for the lighter, less heart-pounding alternative - tea. I love green tea with a bit of lemon and honey, so I think its pretty reasonable for me to swap my coffee out for one of those.

5. Increase fiber intake

I won't go into lots of detail about this. I think we all know what fiber does to our bodies. I just have a lot of junk in my system that needs to be cleared out, and although I plan to get plenty of fiber through my daily intake of fruits and vegetables, I've also been using a fiber supplement to help things along. Its not a long term usage, but I do take it every now and then, and its really helped clean me out. I already feel a difference in energy and attitude, so I'd just like to keep the ball rolling on this one.

---

Well, there they are. My goals; my main objectives. I'm sure I'll think of little ones to aim for here or there, but this is it. This is the 'big picture'. Tomorrow, it all begins, and I feel ready. I AM ready. Bring it on!
 
I don't think I've put my goals out as well as yours, but we have the same weight goal :) I too am 5'2" and feel 99 is WAY too low for me and my frame, I'd be skin and bone and don't like that look personally. Aiming for 115 but 120 just may be enough - time will tell. Since you are working on building more muscle for your job it's good to not focus on the scale too much because the muscles will skew that.

Regular tea does have some caffeine but not near as much as coffee, not sure about green tea as I don't care for it myself but I do know it's a way healthier alternative.

You have great goals and are motivated - hope today goes well :)
 
Your goals seem reasonable. I wouldn't like to cut anything out of my diet completely. I tend to binge if I decide to do that. But that's just me. Hope you had a good Monday :)
 
Day 1

Today, "Day 1", went rather spectacularly. I'm sure most diets begin on an extremely high note because of the intense motivation one always gets when beginning something new, but I still believe it should be noted. Then again, also note that this is being said by someone who has been awake since 2AM, so maybe I'm just delusional from lack of sleep. Either way, my day went very well.

I worked a 4AM shift this morning, so I had to wake up extra early to get ready. I packed a lunch the night before, so that was all ready to go for me. I ate an apple I'd sliced the night before and drank a bottle of chocolate flavored Ensure (a nutritional drink) while driving to work (I have a 30-45min commute depending on traffic). Work was busy. We ran 7 calls in 8 hours. That's essentially back, to back, to back calls. My partner was cool though. He's an FTO and helps train newbies (like me!) and he's been helping me work on better lifting with the stretcher. Also, all EMTs with our company have been getting evaluations for the start of the year, and he gave me a great 'review' so that put me in a really good mood when shift ended.

I took that good mood with me to the gym , threw on my headphones and played my favorite tunes, and I had myself a very nice workout. I did upperbody workouts today and then 40min of cardio. 10min of that was spent on the step-climber and the rest I spent on the bike. As I said, I'm taking baby steps with that, as its a huge struggle for my out-of-shape body.. I was completely winded 5min in, but I stuck it out the next 5min. I want to do 10min a day for the next two weeks, then bump it up to 15min, then 20min, and so on until I reach that 30min mark. I'm tired and sore, but I'll definitely live.

Here's a list of what I've eaten today:
Sliced gala apple (80)
Chocolate Ensure (250)
Protein bar (250)
Chinese chicken salad (260)
Chicken ceasar salad (400)
Total = 1240 calories

Those are my total calories so far, but I'll be heading to the store soon to buy some more pre-packaged salads (I'm officially in love with that chinese chicken salad) and most likely I'll grab dinner while I'm out. There's a bakery/cafe that serves really good soups and sandwiches near the store that I'm going to, so I'll probably go there. I know I'm counting my calories but at the moment, I'm not looking to 'restrict' them per se. I want to get myself into the habit of reaching for healthy food first before I start cutting things down, though I am trying to stay below 1700 calories "unofficially". That being said, I've been eating 'consistently' and haven't had huge stretches of no food in between meals. Dinner will be my last meal, and that will wrap things up for me food-wise.

I think I'll watch some TV when I get back and do some stretches during the commercial breaks. I know that I'm going to be sore tomorrow (I'm sore now! lol) so I'll just help things along and do what I can.

-----

*Responses will go at the bottom from now on, just to keep things organized :p

icychic: Short people unite! Yeah, 99lbs is just too low for me. I would actually begin to worry if I began to drop that low in weight. And yeah, I know that building muscle will 'get in the way' of the scale, but I just wanted to set a goal for myself weight-wise so that I had something specific to aim for. If I don't exactly get down to those numbers, I won't be terribly upset. This is, first and foremost, about my health and physical well-being and if I start seeing results in places other than the scale (looser fitting clothes, being able to lift heavier patients more easily, etc) then I'll know what I'm doing is working.

I can understand not liking green tea. I used to hate it, but it slowly grew on me. I know many people say it tastes like you're drinking grass, but hey, to each his/her own.

a-n-g-e-l: This, unfortunately, is not my first attempt at losing weight. What I learned from past experiences was that I set goals that were too ambitious. I looked at the 'bigger picture' before seeing the fine details, and ultimately I set myself up for failure. This time, I promised myself that I would stick to goals I knew I could keep, and even though I want immediate results, I've been humbled enough from past failures to know that if I want to get it right this time, I'll need to take the proper time.

-Cory-: As I told a-n-g-e-l, I've learnt from past experiences and I know now what needs to be changed for me to finally succeed.

-----

Until tomorrow!
Pia
 
Day 2

Well, I wish that I could say Day 2 went well as Day 1, but then I'd be lying to you and the whole point of this thing is to keep track of my progress, regardless if its been a good day or a bad day. And today was pretty bad, but I'm not feeling too terrible about it. I know what I did wrong and I'm holding myself 100% accountable for it.

Today was just one of those really off days with work. I was the 1200-2000 shift today and because I live quite far from station, I always leave home at about 1030 so that I have a nice cushion time in between for any bizarre traffic jams or roadblocks. I would have liked to go to the gym this morning, but I woke up a little late (around 0800) and then I had to wait around to let one of the workers in to take measurements of the kitchen floors and whatnot. By the time he left it was almost 0930 and I had an hour left at home and I just didn't want to rush myself at the gym. So I skipped the gym today, which is okay, since I'm aiming for 3-5 times a week (I would like 7 days, but I know I need rest days, as well as the fact that work sometimes gets in the way).

I did pretty terrible with food today. I've haven't been getting the best sleep these past few days, and I know thats important in regards to hormones and feeling 'satiated' after eating. It might also be the fact that its almost my time of the month (curse being a woman!) and I get insanely moody and hungry.

Anyway, the list of foods today:
Ensure x2 (500)
Chicken & rice bowl w/ corn salsa and veggies (680)
Chinese chicken salad (260)
Banana (105)
Protein bar (250)
Half a burger (no idea)
Total = 1795+whatever that burger was

I definitely shouldn't have eaten the burger, but I got home and was just tired and run down, and my mom comes up and tells me she has half a burger leftover from lunch and I just don't care so I go for it. Bad idea, but I did it, and I'm sorry for it. But tomorrow I have the day off, so I'll definitely be making up for it with extra gym time and less food intake. I hit a bump, but I'm over it. I acknowledge I did wrong and I'm moving on.

Well, that's that. I'm super beat, and the bed is calling my name. I'll be back tomorrow, and I promise that I'll do much, much better.
 
Day 3

Well, I'm sick. :ack2:

I woke up today covered in cold sweat and have alternated between having the chills and a fever throughout the day. I've also got a really gnarly headache and haven't been in the greatest mood because of it. I feel really run down at the moment, and I skipped the gym again because I have the feeling I may collapse every now and then. I still wanted to get some exercise in, so I took a walk around the neighborhood for about an hour. It was pretty cool this morning, so that sort of helped with the fever part, but not really. I've drank plenty of fluids, but I still feel extremely flushed and dehydrated. I probably caught something from one of my patients or from hanging around the hospital the other day, but luckily I have tomorrow off as well, so I'm hoping that I can get over this before I get back to work on Friday. 1) Because I don't want to go to work feeling so sickly and 2) because I don't want to pass this on to any of my co-workers or patients.

Food-wise, I don't have an appetite today and would much rather crawl back into bed and sleep everything away. That being said, I know its pretty counter intuitive to skip meals, not only when you're trying to lose weight, but also when you're feeling ill. I forced myself to eat food earlier, though I did so very slowly, to avoid making my stomach upset. So far, I've got my usual stuff in:

Ensure (250)
Chinese chicken salad (260)
Protein bar (250)
Total = 760

I'm 440 off the 'minimum' caloric intake, and I know that I should try and get more into my system just for the sake of helping my body recover. I always take a daily multivitamin and vitamin c, plus omega-3, but that still doesn't really cover it. Still, my appetite is essentially absent, so I'll probably make myself some chicken noodle soup. Its light enough that I won't feel overwhelmed eating it, but it'll have the protein, carbs, and veggies I need. Plus, soup is always a good comfort food to have when you aren't feeling your best.

Ugh. This is not the start I wanted, but I'll get through it. A set-back this early means nothing. A bad start is not a deal-breaker; I just need to keep positive and the end will justify the means.
 
I remember you! :D

Glad to see you back. I gotta say I don't envy you with your job. I could not do it. Working with illnesses like that, it would just get to me.

The first few days of getting back on track are always the toughest so don't beat yourself up on your bad day. It'll get easier and easier the longer you stick with it.

I hope you feel better soon!
 
Haha, I remember you too! :)

I love my job. Its very stressful and working with sick/injured people does get to you, but that's also one reason why I love it. I get to be a part of the process that gets that person better. Or in some cases, where age and disease don't allow you to get better, I'm able to help keep that person stable and in as good shape as they can be in regards to their specific circumstances.

Anyway, yeah. I know nothing is perfect and that the first few days/weeks are the hardest. I know once I get into the routine though, things will definitely get better. I just need to keep myself positive until then.

Thanks!
 
I always find day 3 to be the worst (i have had many starts and attempts at losing weight and changing my eating habits). After that it seems to get easier. Hope You had a good day :)
 
This happened to me when I started Ms. Pia. I got sick within the first week and basically delayed going to the gym until I was better. So guilt inducing. :p

But, it happens sometimes.
 
I'm just sitting here reading through everybody's diaries (because I'm apparently creepy or something) and I happened to come across yours.

I will agree that your job is hectic and has it's ups and downs, highs and lows, etc. I work as a chef at an assisted living building which is attached to a local hospital here in town where I live. I see the daily struggles that the EMT workers go through and, from my perspective, the one thing most all of those men and women find to be the hardest part of their job is the "rush and crash" as they call it. One minute you're super-hyped and full of adrenaline - the next minute you're sitting in a chair, impatiently waiting to get the next call. By the end of their shifts, you can see the exhaustion in their faces, even if their day wasn't all that busy.

And, that can have an affect on your weight. The more stressed and exhausted you become, the more you want to eat - trust me, I know that all to well :doh: But, as long as you keep a positive mindset and shoot for your goals (which is exactly what it seems like you're doing), then the stress from work won't interfere with your success more than it should.

Keep up the good work.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top