The PAPrincess' Diary

Day # 450

Sorry to have been a stranger for a few days. The weekend got the best of me. I was really fairly busy with birthday parties and trick-or-treating. And, yesterday was just insane here at work. I was never so happy to see the day draw to a close. I have to admit I had a birthday cupcake on Sunday with a scoop of ice cream. I also ate pizza, which I shouldn't have. And, I had a cookie or two. I did, however, pass on Halloween candy. Yesterday though................I succumbed to the carrot cake that was brought in on Friday. It was still here, so I convinced myself to eat it. Shame shame shame. I know. I did walk on good bit on Saturday though. So, it all evens out, right? Right...sure, I'm selling myself on that. I ate well yesterday otherwise, so what's one treat, right? Right. Today I had scrambled eggs for breakfast. Lunch was soup, fresh fruit, and yogurt. Then, a girlfriend and I went to Starbucks. I got the Pumpkin latte light (skim milk no whipped cream) and a piece of sugar-free banana nut bread. OH MY GOSH was it delightfully tasteful! They have such yummy treats at the Starbucks. I'm glad I stuck to the sugar-free though. Now that's it for treating myself this week. No more! Tonight I am going to dinner with a girlfriend, maybe. She called and said her son was sick. So, if he doesn't improve by 6, we'll bag on dinner. And, that would be fine. Then, I can go home and eat something healthy. No matter what I do when I go out, there are always hidden calories. We were going to go to Bravo! That would definitely mean one thing...pasta. I love pasta. So, as much as I want that kid to feel better....it would save me some calories if he keeps his flu through tonight ;-) And, if he cancels I'll be able to get in a full walk tonight. I need it! No more freebies for me this week. The rest of the week I must be strict! Friday night is another dinner out with a friend. Will the madness never end??? ;-)

Have a great Tuesday!
 
Day #452

Hey all... sorry, I've been so busy the last few days. I haven't had time to write at all. I don't really have time today either. I had some white pizza last night and I woke up this morning so sick. My stomach is still in pain. My two friends are UP and CHUCK. Generally feeling crappy and irritable, too, which isn't helping. I'm swamped here at work, so I have to keep this super short. It's not helping that I haven't had time for walks this week. That's probably contributing to my overall feeling of crappiness. Hope you're all doing much better.
 
I'm sorry to hear about you feeling sick. I hope it was just the change of diet effect people sometimes get.

It sounds like you are in for some exciting times, buying a house is a big deal!!

Getting the walk in has been an issue for me too - that's one of the things I like about posting here - I see that I've written that and know that it's time for a change!!

" No matter what I do when I go out, there are always hidden calories. " That is sooo true. It's heaps easier when we can avoid eating out isn't it? Nice to have some special changes and the social side though!! :D

I hope your tummy and the busyness are settling down and you're having a good weekend! :)
 
Day # 465

Posting today what I couldn't post yesterday. The site kept kicking me out.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am consumed by food and bad choices lately. And, the worst part is I, ME, MOI am the one who is purchasing the bad foods! I can feel myself losing control and I hate it. I need some serious intervention. Yes, I have a lot of stress right now. Yes, work is super busy. Yes, I must be out of my apartment in a mere 2 weeks. UGH. I must, must, MUST stop eating my way through the solutions. I hate how crappy it's making me feel. Can someone please send me some duct tape to put over my mouth??? I seriously have to find some way to get back on track. I'm thinking I need a support group or a meeting with a nutritionist or ... dare, I say it, finding a personal trainer at least to meet with weekly? I need accountability. This is getting scary...I can feel myself losing control again! UGH. I hate this...absolutely hate this!

Help, help, help!

I have to get back to work. Sorry I haven't written/posted in a while. I've been so swamped at work! I will try to make it daily from now on. That tends to keep me a little more focused anyway, if I'm accountable to you through this daily message.

Again, HELP!
 
Day # 466

I hate the people I work with sometimes. Not really, but the bad foods they bring. They brought leftovers from a lunch. Veggie cheesy lasagna, pasta salad, rolls, butter and the worst thing.....biggest temptation.... about 6 pieces of carrot cake. I absolutely love carrot cake. I've been walking around to other offices begging them to come eat all the cake. I think we're down to just one piece left. I want it gone. I can't deal with the temptation. DOWN WITH CARROT CAKE!

I was up early to walk today, but it was pouring down rain. Karma is just not my friend lately. Nothing seems to be going "right" as far as the exercising. Ugh. I'm doing my best though. I had a smoothie for breakfast, then an apple around 10:30 as a snack. Lunch was a can of Progresso's WW soup and a half a turkey sandwich with tomato and mustard on rye and a cup of pineapple, pears, strawberries. I have class tonight so I should be able to keep to some control. I'll go home in between work and class and get another smoothie. Let's hope that once class is over I don't strap on the feed bag and blow a good day's effort. Wish me luck. My plan is to walk in the morning tomorrow. I certainly don't mind the cold, but I refuse to get soaked in the name of exercise. It's not worth the pneumonia!!

Enjoy your nights. At least you won't be stuck in a class...yuck!
 
WRT "HELP!"

It's always hard to know what will actually be good help for someone else. So I'm inclined to say what has helped me because that's something I actually know about, and then I just hope there's something in it, which could be used. I hope that doesn't come across as talking about the wrong person here. :) I did have a bad patch recently, so it's not long since I was eating badly and feeling like I didn't want to. Also, I had a patch of eating fairly well, but feeling like I'd really like to keep eating badly!!

I got a couple of ideas from what Mal was talking about that helped me quite a lot. One was to write down a list of the reasons I want to lose weight - the things that really matter the most, then I put it on top of the page I use to write up my diary before posting it, and printed a copy that's near my computer. The idea is to keep reading it and making yourself very conscious of your motivation. Some people put them around even more, but I share my house.

Also there was something about it being hard to be really focussed on wanting to eat at the same time as you are really focussed on wanting to lose weight. I interpreted this to mean that I could look at foods that might have seemed tempting, but which would be bad for me and be glad that I wasn't eating them (even though other people might be), because not eating them was meaning that I was going to lose weight. That sounds small but it really helped. From that I helped myself change back to being alert for ways to reduce unhelpful calories rather than looking for the maximum I could allow myself.

Last year when I was first starting this I used to just let my eyes slide away from rubbish and instantly tell myself that it was gross!! I was surprised to find out how much I was able to convince myself of this.

After a while, getting too hungry destroys my ability to wait for healthy food, when there is crap right there. So I usually try pretty hard to stop myself from becoming overly hungry by not waiting too long to eat and including plenty of fruit and veges. Tons sometimes!!

If I'm already in a bad way I try to tell myself that I don't have to do everything right. Just the next thing. Usually that doesn't mean not eating, it just means eating something that's on the good list instead of something that isn't. That doesn't fix things straight away, but it helps turn them around a bit for me.

It's sad but true that circumstantial things like the weather do impact on us achieving what we want for our bodies, sometimes in a major way. It's good that you were making the effort of getting ready to exercise at least. Are there other alternatives you could investigate to give yourself a way to persist when that sort of things happens? Maybe some kind of DVD - or even just moving to some music? It can really help to have back up options.

I've seen other people say this recently and noticed myself that the exercise really helps reduce my appetite and cravings.

I hope you don't mind me saying these things - I know that you already have a lot of experience in losing weight and knowing what works for you. Personally, I often learn things, then forget them :eek: and find reminders helpful.

Seeing a dietician, as you said, might help. I saw one just before I joined here, and though I got cross with her and left after the second visit, she did tell me just one or two things that I hadn't thought about, and which turned out to be vitally useful. A previous dietician I saw years ago, taught me heaps.

Regardless if that helps or not, remember that you have done sooooo much already to get yourself where you are now. You have already proven that you can do this. If you keep your mind turned in the direction it has been then the latest awkward time will pass, as the others have.
 
Felici, thanks so much for the advice!! Life has been so hectic the past month. A lot of emotional turmoil buying my grandfather's house (he passed away in August) and packing and moving....and feelingb blah! I'm going to get back on track after this weekend's big move. Monday IS the day! I know if I start exercising I will start feeling better and more motivated. Your advice is spot on and I'm going to print it and keep it at my fridge! The idea for a list to myself is great. I'll do that, too!! Thanks!


As for today.... Just wanted to wish everyone a blessed Thanksgiving. I'm not sweatin' it, but I am going to eat pie. I'm telling you that now ;-) You have to indulge now and again! Enjoy the turkey!
 
Day # 486

It has been 20 days since I've made a "diet diary" entry. I have had a lot on my plate, both literally and figuratively. I moved into the new house over Thanksgiving. It's been super busy and stressful at work. And, I've had papers and projects due in class. Plus, I'm planning a family reunion, getting out invites for that - as well as a surprise birthday party. And, Christmas cards? When am I going to do that?? I am forcing myself to take time right now to send an update, although I'm really too busy to do so. I'll just work through lunch a bit. I have to get back on target. The move drained me. I just have so much on my mind and so much to do, I haven't had time to even make lists. I feel so out-of-sorts and disorganized. I hate this feeling. My new basement is a disaster zone. I can barely walk through it for all the boxes. I need some serious at-home time to get settled in and time to formulate a plan of attack on unpacking all those boxes!

I have not been eating as well as I should. I've been actually pretty bad for too too long now. I keep making excuses because I'm so stressed. I am an emotional eater and I definitely have a lot of emotions going on right now. I need to find control somehow. There is a gym really close to my new house that I'm going to check out. I have mapped out a walking route, but it's pretty much on the road. There are no sidewalks. I'm not sure I'm too thrilled with that. So, maybe the gym route will work. And, who knows, if they have a trainer there maybe he/she can whip me into being re-motivated again. I just feel so blah and I know it's because I've been to lax on the exercise front. I just can't seem to find the time since this move. A lame excuse, but seriously, I've been living on 4, maybe 5 hours sleep max, a night since I started staying at the house. Something has got to change and I will make that happen. I have to. I don't want to regain the weight I lost :-(

I'll weigh in on Monday and let you know the dreadful news. I fear I have gained a few pounds... probably between 5-10. :-( Ugh!

Wish me luck...send me some good vibes for re-kindled willpower.
 
I hate exercising to it makes me feel fatter i am so tired in such a short period of time and those people on the dvd make me feel even worst because they are so slim. I think I will make a exercise dvd with fat people only then it will be more realistic and do-able:icon_bs:
 
I have an idea that sometimes we don't exercise because the last time we did, we maybe had lots of time and had been working out a bit and were putting heaps into it, and when we're time starved we think that's where we need to be and that less doesn't count. Yet if we even do a little of something, that's still a little helpful physically, and maybe strongly helpful emotionally because it can help drive up our motivation to where it tips the balance against our emotional or circumstantial issues.

Incorporating a change of exercise can be helpful in the same way. I've found that recently when I've incorporated swimming back into my week. I definitely make more effort to get time for that, than I do for walking, despite usually loving walking - when I get there!!

If you are so tired, you may be getting more movement than you think in your day. I know that the exercise you get when you take time out for it can be helpful in a different way to the movement that's part of housework/shopping etc, but it still has benefits, and it can be an emotional support (helping combat emotional eating), and also motivating in the sense of increasing an interest in moving, to wear a pedometer. I am thinking of getting another (may have worked out the problems I used to have with them). Omega, ambalove and Phoebe (allyphoe), wear them and were talking about them in Phoebe's diary and it made me think I could use one.

It's nice to see a post from you. You still have your mind turned the right way I reckon - you just need to up the voltage a bit. :)
 
Day # 488

Thanks for responding, guys. Yeah, Felici, I need a big volt...a power surge!

Hey gang. Been pretty busy this past week. I really haven't eating that great. And, forget exercise. Mother Nature decided to drop a boatload of snow out our way and so I haven't been able to walk. There's no sidewalks, so I'd basically be walking on the icy roadway. Not a good mix. I'm trying really hard to fight temptations. Last night we had to go out for dinner for our class. I ordered tomato soup and a baked potato. I didn't think that was too terrible. I also got a fruit smoothie.

One of the housekeeping staff nabbed me in the ladies room today. Well, really she chased me down and followed me in to tell me how great I look. I thanked her, but I don't feel like I look too great. I am in such a rut. I hate this. I'm fighting to stay in control of my weight. I better get out the punching gloves...it's gonna be one heck of a fight!

Breakfast today was apple oatmeal (I was running late - story of my life - and had to nab something quick to make here at work.) Lunch was chinese - mixed veggies and rice. And, dinner is out. I'm sure I can manage to make a decent choice.

Have a great weekend.

Nicole
 
Day # 491

Hey everyone. Pretty stressed here. Work is nuts and this is finals week for school. I have two papers due (one for my class, one for my internship!) Uh, I've procrastinated myself into a frenzy. I also have some volunteer committee stuff due that I haven't started yet. Plus, I'm still trying to get unpacked and settled into the house. This is an ultra-busy week ... I know I'll survive, it's just going to be very stressful. Sometime this week I have to find time to shop for a Christmas grab bag for a coworker! Ugh. I need more time!

This weekend didn't go so great. And, I really, I mean REALLY intended to walk today. I drove around last night and found a good route. I even pulled out my walking duds and searched boxes for my MP3 player. And, guess what? I totally forgot to set an alarm! I fell asleep and never set one. With luck I happened to wake at 6:50. I made it to work on time, but with no makeup...not a pretty sight indeed! I did have a smoothie here in the fridge (love those ready-made ones!) for breakfast. Lunch was a tuna wrap and fresh strawberries. And, for dinner I'll have another smoothie. Should bring my day's calories in around 1000 ish. I think I'm wishfully hoping that I can get in a walk tonight. It's going to be tough. I have to stop at the store on my way home and I MUST work on and complete at least ONE of those papers due this week. It's going to be tough on the time. I'll let you know how it works out tomorrow. Gonna be a super busy night! Wish me luck!
 
:ack2: I don't envy you that week! Mine is busy :willy_nilly: but thankfully I don't have to be able to think logically for long enough to put a whole paper together, because my own brain has just about gone to mush!

It sounds like this is a one-day-at-a-time kinda time. I hope things will be settled down a bit for you soon. Take care. :)
 
Everything's been pretty crazy lately with work, school, this house... I haven't been walking as I should be. I haven't been eating so great. I'm confident that once the hustle and bustle of the holidays is over, I will be able to get back on serious track and only have good news to report. So, if you don't hear from me until January 1st, you'll know why. I have lots of stuff going on the next week, plus I'm hosting a surprise birthday party for my dad (a big deal) the next Sunday. Lots of running around, cooking, baking, etc etc. I may not check in again before then. If not, I wish everyone a glorious Christmas and a safe and happy New Year!
 
Hi Nicole :)

I hope your Christmas went well and that this New Year is nothing less than dynamic for whatever it is you wish to achieve.

I want to especially thank you for taking one day of your year 2007 and spending it with me.

By far, it was thee most impacting day of my 2007. Thanks for creating a memory with me.

Happy 2008 !!
 
PAPrincess72 said:
Thanks for responding, guys. Yeah, Felici, I need a big volt...a power surge!

Hey gang. Been pretty busy this past week. I really haven't eating that great. And, forget exercise. Mother Nature decided to drop a boatload of snow out our way and so I haven't been able to walk.
Nicole
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psssttt yah right! Its been ssooooooooo dry out here all year I dont remember being 1" of snow on the ground!

Nice to see someone else from pittsburgh here on the board...
 
Lose Weight, Feel Great... in 2008!!

Hello Fellow Weight Strugglers and Scale Haters!!!

I am making it my goal to make a major life change in 2008. I've lost a good deal of weight so far on my own, but it's still not enough. And, truth be told, I've been struggling since before Thanksgiving with controlling the inhalation of food. Tomorrow I am attending a Weight Watchers meeting with two of my sisters. I think the weigh-in support will be most helpful. I'm going to continue to eat as I know how to eat right for me. I'm going to continue with my smoothies as I do love them. What I really just need from the meetings is accountability. I'm going to give it a full month's worth of effort and reassess then. I must and WILL get back on track. I hope to be at my goal weight by summer. I graduate on May 3rd and want to look stunning in my graduation garb ;-)

Happy New Year to everyone! I'll be posting more regularly now that the holidays are over and I'm back to a more normal routine!

Take care!

P.S. Burneeed, when I wrote that post there was indeed snow. Maybe not a boatload, but definitely too much for me to go walking at 5 a.m. - far too icy.
 
Those holidays can be a real bump in the road eh!

Good to see you back. Weight Watchers sounds like a great idea, especially if you've never been before. They're bound to have some useful thoughts even if you don't want to go with their techniques all the way.

Graduation in May!!! Wow!! That's a biggie. Over here that might mean that you have actually finished your studies already and are just waiting for the ceremony. Is it like that for you, or do you still have more classes?
 
Cheers to you to decide to make a serious life change!:cheers2: You can do it! What are you going to school for? I am sure you will reach your goal by May 3!
 
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