The implosion of Kaplooie

Just thinking about spiders gets my heart going like cardio! Okay, this weekend sucked. I think me and my boyfriend are going to go our seperate ways. We have so many things in common, but the things that we don't have in common are biggies and they matter and I just don't think I can sacrifice certain aspects of my beliefs and cultural values to be with him. I'm torn, but I know its for the best.
I don't think I'm an emotional eater, because through it all I didn't feel the need to binge. I even went to a huge turkey dinner at my grandparents house and ate moderately. Took a good long hike straight up the face of a mountain in deep tundra yesterday and my legs are KILLING me today. I found some really big fat juicy sweet blueberries while up there so it was so worth it. I don't think I'll be getting in any outdoor activities today, we are being hit by the tail end of a typhoon, we call them leftovers...lol. I'll have to go and do cardio at the gym. I prefer outdoor excercise.
 
im sorry about you and your partner :( Sometimes maybe things just aren't meant to be, but if you feel like they were work at it. Me and my boyfriend have some huuuge diferences, that form time to time do erupt into arguments over certain things but after a few tears and harsh tones we hug and make up. I believe that differences are very important in a relationship but if they are too big, sometimes its best to say sweet goodbyes and go separate ways :(

Good job on not eating lots at the turkey dinner, Dinners like that are s hard to moderate for me cause it all looks so yummy !

Outdoor exercise is awesome, i wish i could get more of it. However im limited to walking around the block a few times. I really wish i had a bike!

Keep on smiling and doing as good as u are ! :)
 
Well our differences are centered around religious beliefs, of which I have many and he has few; and cultural identity, which he has none so he constantly disrespects mine. And then theres the fact that I don't like to be disrespected in any way shape or form. We will remain friends though, that has been clear from the upstart of the romantic relationship because we have been friends for years but only romantically involved for a fraction of that time.
Yesterday during my hike I think I overdid it because my knee is killing me. I am waiting for an opening here at the office to get in and see the doc. Last night my knee felt loose, a hard to explain sensation. Today it feels loose, and hurts and sends sharp pains down my leg into my ankle. maybe its inflamed. I feel like a wuss seeing the doc about it, but I don't want to injure it more if I should be resting it.
 
Damn. Possibly tore the meniscus in my knee. Not what I wanted to hear! I have to have an MRI. I hate injuries.
 
I lost a lbs. It makes me happy but at the same time, only 1 pound? in a week and a half? Okay, it was TOM over the weekend so I guess that accounts for some of it. My knee feels better today now that I have a brace on it and I've innundated my body with anti-inflamitorys (Hey! maybe thats the loss...lol!). I'm trying to behave in an office full of junk food this morning. Donuts, muffins, chocolate cookies. I hate my co workers.
 
I managed to survive office breaky, which is quite the feat of self control. For me anyways. My knee is hurting insanley right now. I really desperatly want to do cardio tonight but my doc said definatly not! I cannot put any pressure on the outside of my foot when I step or I experience a sharp hot electric pain that goes down to my ankle and when I put even weight on my legs the left side of my knee feels like its going to blow out. I am hating life right now.
on a good note I managed to eat well today
B: latte for 127 cals
S: muffin top for 100 cals
L: 1/2 cup of scrambled "better-n-eggs" egg sub for 60 cals
1/2 cup of non-fat cottage cheese for 80 cals
S: 1/2 cup of grapes for 50 cals?? I'll have to look that one up.
D: TBA...lol...I'm fickle, I can't plan dinner...must consult the cravings first.
I think I will budget in a beer tonight in my cals and carbs. I don't have a boyfriend anymore, but he did leave behind a sixer that needs polishing off in the near future.
 
Dinner last night was a chicken breast cubed and cooked with mushrooms, broccoli and I melted fat free laughing cow cheese wedges over the whole mess. It was palatable at least. Then I had my beer with dinner. And then for dessert I had sugar free jello with blueberries. It was reasonable. I just finished reading James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. I didn't think the writing was all that great, there were a million little typos, thats for sure, word ommissions, superfulous words...whoever edited it sucked. And, from the perspective of a former drug addict, I just think he's a load of shit. I'm glad he's sober, but his attitude could use some adjusting. If he had written that book before I got "sober" I wouldn't, in a million little years, have ever considered rehab. Especially with his "beef" with the 12 steps. I never used the 12 steps because I also did not believe in them but I know hundreds of people, literally, that couldn't be sober today without them. I hope his book never discourages an addict from seeking help because they don't believe in 12 steps or high powers.
Today I am fasting most of the day because I forgot I was supposed to get my fasting blood draw and I woke up and had coffee w/ sf creamer at 5am. So now I have to wait till after 5pm to have my blood draw and I cannot eat till after the draw. normally I would just wait and do it tomorrow but I need the results on friday and the blood has to be expressed mailed to a lab. The lab tech keeps walking by my office saying "no soup for you." and I want to smack him. I think for dinner I am having a big huge cobb salad because I have been craving one like mad for the last three days. I love blue cheese!
 
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Yesterday was hellatious. But, I had my dang cobb salad. And it was GOOD! although I'm sure it was more calories then I needed...all that blue cheese, and dressing and bacon...mmmm. Today I am being a good girl.
My electricity in my house is all wonky. I hate home ownership. It seems like everytime something goes wrong is the most expensive something that can possible happen. The electrician is there working on it now. It depresses me to no end. I need to find a man who is a contractor, plumber, electritian and mechanic...any men like that out there?
anyways, my day so far has been coffee and veggies with a little bit of cheese. The office gluttons brought cookies. I told them they need to stop being so unsupportive of other staff members who either can't eat that kind of crap or don't want to. I'm making a rule that if they bring food it has to be healthy otherwise they have to keep it to themselves. Its gross the stuff they eat. Krispy kremes...who in their right mind would eat a couple of those a day...I'll tell you who, everybody in my office. They binge on them every morning. It drives me nuts.
I guess I'm in a very cantakerous mood today. My knee still hurts very much. I desperatly want to do cardio to burn calories and I can't and that makes me want to have a flippin fit.
My used-to-be boyfriend keeps calling me and telling me how much he misses me and how pretty he thinks I am and blahblahblah, making all manner of sexual innuendo. Its frusterating. I really want to move on. I want HIM to move on. He's torturing himself and thus it's torturing me.
at any rate....I guess I'm done updating.
 
Howdy Kapoolie,
I am sorry about your knee I hope the doc can do something for you so for now take it easy!Your menue looks yummy and gr8 job with the calories!Hey I used to be a Krispy Cream Donut lover I would eat 2-3 a day when I was preggers with my son haha.
Oh by the way grapes are 3 calories per grape and incase you wanna know what watermelon is it is 45 cals for 1 cup of cubed watermelon.
I had to look those up haha.Gl and keep up the good work also I wish my hubby can fix things around the house but WE suck at fixing things!Tammy
 
Thanks for stopping by Tammy! I'm still all eeew-ed out over the KK donuts. Is there a book out there with the calories for everything edible on earth? Thats what I need, because I can't take google with me everywhere where I live. We do have wireless but no internet access on our phones.

In a former life I used to do hair and I used to be pretty good at it. Well, last night I proved to myself that giving that up was a good thing. First, I screwed up my son's hair when I was cutting it. I blame it on dull scissors. I havn't had my shears sharpened in ages. And I need new clippers. So, now my son has a faux hawk and he's mad at me. THEN I screwed up my best friends highlights, got a little over zealous. I feel SHAME!!!
But, I did reasonable on calories, did alot of crunches, sit ups and push ups. So I only feel bad about doing hair. That'll teach them to expect free services.
So, has anybody heard any really bad chuck norris jokes lately? My office is under seige by them. Things like:"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding," and "Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice." Is Chuck Norris the new "big thing?" Ew. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ban chuck norris web sites...I've already banned anybody from telling or IMing me anything CN related...freaks.
Today I am going berry picking, I don't care if my knee hurts. I'll just have to deal with it. I need berries. Berries at our grocery store are over $5 for a small bag of frozen ones. Its ridiculous. At any rate, tonight we dine on blueberries. And maybe some salmon. OOOohhhh, I'm going to make a blueberrie glaze for salmon. I rock.
 
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Hey there here are a couple websites I use alot to look up cals,the 1st one has almost EVERY resteraunt fastfood and nice resteraunts

the second has alot of fruits veggies stroe bought foods
calorieking.com
Hope these help have a gr8 weekend Tammy
 
Wow that restaurant list is good!

hows your day going girl?

you should get a ticker on your signature so we can all see your progress :)
 
I'm anti-ticker, I can never find one the quite has a personality like me...lol. My day is going good, except an RN that is the case manager for a doc at our clinic decide to take things into her own hands and deleted my diabetes patient database that we use to track our patients compliance. I'm way upset about that, but she is being reprimanded and I am having to do more work today then I have had to do in many many weeks combined to make up for the lack of a database that is convenient. Deep breath...I can make it through this. I have had to work through lunch so we had sandwiches and chips delivered. I over ate for sure but my sandwich had whole wheat bread, no mayo and I only had a handful of chips. My day will get better, it has to because come 4:30p its the weekend! I'm glad I work m-f!
 
awww you sure did good on getting wheat and not many chips.

lol. anti ticker :p hehe thats cool, i just love them, seeing how people go on their weightless is fun to me.

YEY for the weekend
 
I had a bad weekend. lets just say, I need to practice self control. And, I need to avoid meals with ex boyfriends. Twice, TWICE Dar totally screwed up my cal counts for saturday and sunday. He's bad for my diet for sure. We are trying to be amicable seperated but I can't just cut him out of my life considering he and my son are kinda attached now, or at least they think they are. So I went out with him on saturday night for appitizers and drinks and then last night he brought over steaks, which made him an instant hit with the kid and the dog. He's just trying to weasle his way back into my life! I had to force him to go home last night, he wanted to stay over for old times sake. IDK what to do.
 
so do you still have feelings for this guy? If you have big differences yet he still wants to be part of your life and more, maybe he's willing to try hard for you and make things work.
How long were you together?
 
We have known eachother for 6 years. My ex husband, my son's father used to work with him and when I left my ex, for reasons I won't discuss, Dar kicked his ass for me. We were close friends for 4 years and then last year our romantic relationship started to develop. Our issues are that he wants kids and I don't want any more; he is christian (baptist) and I am pagan, which he does not respect; and he doesn't have alot of respect for women in general, sometimes he comes off very boorish and sexist and I'm not down with that. He literally thinks I should quit my job, marry him, have his babies and stay home like a good wife. SOOO not me! I don't think there is anything there for me. I want so much more out of life and I can see him holding me back.
 
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