Ferocity
New member
It just so happens that I'm both fat and furious.
I'm fat because I'm 5'7" and I currently weight 207 pounds. There is just enough muscle there to allow me to speed walk from class to class, and that's not good enough.
I'm furious because I really, really, really, really have no excuse for allowing myself to get like this. I was one of those skinny bitches (can I say bitches?) in high school who whined about weight when I didn't have any. The weight went up after I graduated, mainly because I was getting older and I enjoyed bragging about how I didn't have to exercise to stay skinny . . . uh, thin . . . wait, curvy . . . um . . . plump? It didn't get too out of control because I joined the Navy. I didn't leave boot camp buff, but I certainly left thin . . . well, thinner anyway. I did nothing to maintain my weight loss, and over the next five year (three of them stationed in New Orleans, which is not known for thin people) I blimped up steadily. After I got out of the military (an honorable discharge by the skin of my teeth - had I been scheduled to get out a couple months later, I would have had a medical discharge for being a lumpybum) I raised sloth to an art form. Exercise consisted of walking between classrooms. End of story. I packed on almost fifty more pounds, becoming the stunning beluga I am today.
Please realize that self-deprecation both motivates me and is a facet of my sense of humor. Don't worry - I won't use it on anyone else because that's just rude.
I turned 29 in February. It took me until now to realize that I was at a crossroads and that I needed to turn if I didn't want my 30s to look and feel like my 20s. Being fat sucks. It makes shopping hell, it makes me feel gross and unhealthy, and it makes me self-conscious and unwilling to leave the house or participate in social activities.
Despite these shortcomings, something magical happened last October. I met Dan, who is now my fiancé. Want to talk about love in the most unlikely of places? Here I am, whalin' it, and along comes this gorgeous young man with a brilliant brain behind those different-colored eyes, a sense of humor, a very sexy physique, model good-looks . . . and he also happens to be 8.5 years my junior. He wasn't even 21 when we met. Whew!
Now, I love me some younger men, but I'd sworn off them after the last catastrophe. So what does this one do? Comes after me with a gentle but relentless persistence. Within three days he won me over, which is when he had to go back to Florida. Long distance relationships suck.
He doesn't care about my weight, my snarkiness, or anything else. So I'm determined to knock his socks off next time he sees me, just to prove that I can.
I'm also making this commitment because I've never been physically strong before. I've never possessed an overabundance of follow-though. I've never been fit. All the women I admire are fit, and that's getting frustrating. If there was a zombie apocalypse or the machines decided to revolt, I want to be one of the ones who survives to form a new society in a dystopian future . . . or something like that.
The rest of charm is just going to have to spill all over my journal. Thanks for sticking out this read.
I'm fat because I'm 5'7" and I currently weight 207 pounds. There is just enough muscle there to allow me to speed walk from class to class, and that's not good enough.
I'm furious because I really, really, really, really have no excuse for allowing myself to get like this. I was one of those skinny bitches (can I say bitches?) in high school who whined about weight when I didn't have any. The weight went up after I graduated, mainly because I was getting older and I enjoyed bragging about how I didn't have to exercise to stay skinny . . . uh, thin . . . wait, curvy . . . um . . . plump? It didn't get too out of control because I joined the Navy. I didn't leave boot camp buff, but I certainly left thin . . . well, thinner anyway. I did nothing to maintain my weight loss, and over the next five year (three of them stationed in New Orleans, which is not known for thin people) I blimped up steadily. After I got out of the military (an honorable discharge by the skin of my teeth - had I been scheduled to get out a couple months later, I would have had a medical discharge for being a lumpybum) I raised sloth to an art form. Exercise consisted of walking between classrooms. End of story. I packed on almost fifty more pounds, becoming the stunning beluga I am today.
Please realize that self-deprecation both motivates me and is a facet of my sense of humor. Don't worry - I won't use it on anyone else because that's just rude.
I turned 29 in February. It took me until now to realize that I was at a crossroads and that I needed to turn if I didn't want my 30s to look and feel like my 20s. Being fat sucks. It makes shopping hell, it makes me feel gross and unhealthy, and it makes me self-conscious and unwilling to leave the house or participate in social activities.
Despite these shortcomings, something magical happened last October. I met Dan, who is now my fiancé. Want to talk about love in the most unlikely of places? Here I am, whalin' it, and along comes this gorgeous young man with a brilliant brain behind those different-colored eyes, a sense of humor, a very sexy physique, model good-looks . . . and he also happens to be 8.5 years my junior. He wasn't even 21 when we met. Whew!
Now, I love me some younger men, but I'd sworn off them after the last catastrophe. So what does this one do? Comes after me with a gentle but relentless persistence. Within three days he won me over, which is when he had to go back to Florida. Long distance relationships suck.
He doesn't care about my weight, my snarkiness, or anything else. So I'm determined to knock his socks off next time he sees me, just to prove that I can.
I'm also making this commitment because I've never been physically strong before. I've never possessed an overabundance of follow-though. I've never been fit. All the women I admire are fit, and that's getting frustrating. If there was a zombie apocalypse or the machines decided to revolt, I want to be one of the ones who survives to form a new society in a dystopian future . . . or something like that.
The rest of charm is just going to have to spill all over my journal. Thanks for sticking out this read.
I can't wait to read your journal. Talk to you soon!