Taking Back Control (A Diary)
- Thread starter Loch
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Irishprincess
New member
You can totally see a difference in your stomah hun, your stomach has gone in! Keep up what your doing and all the weight will fall off you dear in no time!!!
Best of luck Loch!!xx
Best of luck Loch!!xx
Loch
New member
I feel sick today, not sure why. Felt like throwing up, but I had a little something to eat and I feel a little bit better, but still sweaty and upset stomach 
.
I slept in again, I wanted to get up early to go exercise. I might have to move my alarm so that I have to get up. I always wake up a few hours before it's supposed to go off, check the time, then change the alarm and go back to sleep. I'm so weak minded and sleepy that I convince myself that I don't need to go, that I can go tomorrow.
I've been eating well, still. It's amazing that I've managed to stick to this, for the most part, for a month. I've never been able to. I'm looking forward to weighing in next week to see if I lost another 2lb. I'm optimistic.
Anyway, back to work, just wanted to update.
.I slept in again, I wanted to get up early to go exercise. I might have to move my alarm so that I have to get up. I always wake up a few hours before it's supposed to go off, check the time, then change the alarm and go back to sleep. I'm so weak minded and sleepy that I convince myself that I don't need to go, that I can go tomorrow.
I've been eating well, still. It's amazing that I've managed to stick to this, for the most part, for a month. I've never been able to. I'm looking forward to weighing in next week to see if I lost another 2lb. I'm optimistic.
Anyway, back to work, just wanted to update
.
Loch
New member
I thought I would include a small list of foods I eat for the day.
Morning -
Cereal, last week was Cheerios, this week is Cinnamon Toast Crunch (300 calories, give or take)
Work -
1 Turkey stick (glucose free, 60 calories)
1 Cheese string (60 calories)
1 Nectarine (about 60 calories)
1 Plum (about 40 calories)
1 Activia Yogurt (100 calories)
1 Packet of baby carrots (20 calories)
1 Bistro Instant Rice (370 calories)
Total: 1010
Then when I get home I have my supper, which depends. My mom knows I'm now trying to lose weight. She's still cooking for me lol...but she's definitely on board. The other night we had a 9 ounce steak, with green beans and mushrooms. I estimated it would be about 576. Some times I just have some soup which would be probably 200 calories. So I always make sure that I have 600 or so for the end of the night. I also have stopped snacking at night, so that I don't have a full stomach when I go to bed.
I know it's not the healthiest diet, but so far it works for me.
Morning -
Cereal, last week was Cheerios, this week is Cinnamon Toast Crunch (300 calories, give or take)
Work -
1 Turkey stick (glucose free, 60 calories)
1 Cheese string (60 calories)
1 Nectarine (about 60 calories)
1 Plum (about 40 calories)
1 Activia Yogurt (100 calories)
1 Packet of baby carrots (20 calories)
1 Bistro Instant Rice (370 calories)
Total: 1010
Then when I get home I have my supper, which depends. My mom knows I'm now trying to lose weight. She's still cooking for me lol...but she's definitely on board. The other night we had a 9 ounce steak, with green beans and mushrooms. I estimated it would be about 576. Some times I just have some soup which would be probably 200 calories. So I always make sure that I have 600 or so for the end of the night. I also have stopped snacking at night, so that I don't have a full stomach when I go to bed
. I know it's not the healthiest diet, but so far it works for me.
Loch
New member
So I'm having one of those "want to go back to bed and hide" days. I've been working one week straight. I'm tired. I was supposed to get today off, but my boss said he hadn't had a day off since Saturday and he had to attend a wedding so it really wasn't much of a day off. So, he wanted to switch and give me Thursday off. I said fine...since, I mean, I need the hours. I'm really tired, and grumpy as all hell. I think I'm nearing that time of the month, it turns me into such a bitch...
Yesterday I was doing well, until about 3pm. I got 15 dvd's to make into rentals, which I should have gotten at least a day ago since they were out Tuesday. For some reason our supplier hasn't been shipping them, so my other boss had to go buy them from Best Buy. I figured I would have a sandwich at 4 and then be set for some food later in the evening. It ended up being so damn complicated.
I was moody enough from only getting 5 hours of sleep (I couldn't sleep the other night). By the time I got off work I was starving, but I had to hang out with Andrew again. I thought we would go for something to eat...I even said I was hungry. Instead we went shopping and he bought some stuff for his house...We went back to his house, he had earlier said he had cold pizza. I was too moody to say that the idea of cold pizza is kind of gross. We watched a movie...and then I asked if maybe he could take me by subway on the way home. He forgot...so I just waited til I got in at 8:30. Had a snack, then some soup.
I'm even more moody today. I weighed myself and I went up 2lb. I'm hoping it's just water weight, or something else. I hope that it's not from lack of sleep or my absence of eating. I think my issue is that all day I really, really wanted to give in. I wanted to eat fast food, or something. The only way I could is if I had the calorie intake left to allow myself. I got so obsessed that I didn't eat, or make a fuss about being hungry. I got upset with myself and just waited to get home to eat.
From now on I have to make sure to eat, even if it means being unable to indulge. If he and I do go out, I'll get something small, and work with what I have. I'm something of an idiot...
Now, onto my opinion of these forums. I know my opinion won't change a thing, but I want to get it out.
1) Where did our signatures go? I looked for the option, but it looks like we can no longer have them. Which means no more tickers. That saddens me. Will it be a payable option someday? Maybe. Just read that there IS signatures, just no tickers. Lame!
2) It's so new...so weird, hard to get used to. The forum feels like I have to navigate all over to find new posts. As plain as the old one was, I miss it.
3) My browser has a spell check, like Microsoft Word. Now when I type a message in the reply box, when I right click a word to be fixed it won't let me. I'm assuming it has to do with javascript or some code. It, instead, pops up for me to cut, copy or paste. Very annoying. I like to get my spelling mistakes fixed.
That's all for now. I'm going to plow through the day (fortunately I have a smoothie awaiting me at 2pm when my coworker comes to work). I think a nap is in order. As much as I want to give up, and have soooo many bad things, I can't. I may have gone up 2lb for whatever reason, but I'm not going to go down in flames for it. I'll loose those lbs. It's just one small setback, with a greater reward for my diligence.
Yesterday I was doing well, until about 3pm. I got 15 dvd's to make into rentals, which I should have gotten at least a day ago since they were out Tuesday. For some reason our supplier hasn't been shipping them, so my other boss had to go buy them from Best Buy. I figured I would have a sandwich at 4 and then be set for some food later in the evening. It ended up being so damn complicated.
I was moody enough from only getting 5 hours of sleep (I couldn't sleep the other night). By the time I got off work I was starving, but I had to hang out with Andrew again. I thought we would go for something to eat...I even said I was hungry. Instead we went shopping and he bought some stuff for his house...We went back to his house, he had earlier said he had cold pizza. I was too moody to say that the idea of cold pizza is kind of gross. We watched a movie...and then I asked if maybe he could take me by subway on the way home. He forgot...so I just waited til I got in at 8:30. Had a snack, then some soup.
I'm even more moody today. I weighed myself and I went up 2lb. I'm hoping it's just water weight, or something else. I hope that it's not from lack of sleep or my absence of eating. I think my issue is that all day I really, really wanted to give in. I wanted to eat fast food, or something. The only way I could is if I had the calorie intake left to allow myself. I got so obsessed that I didn't eat, or make a fuss about being hungry. I got upset with myself and just waited to get home to eat.
From now on I have to make sure to eat, even if it means being unable to indulge. If he and I do go out, I'll get something small, and work with what I have. I'm something of an idiot...
Now, onto my opinion of these forums. I know my opinion won't change a thing, but I want to get it out.
1) Where did our signatures go? I looked for the option, but it looks like we can no longer have them. Which means no more tickers. That saddens me. Will it be a payable option someday? Maybe. Just read that there IS signatures, just no tickers. Lame!
2) It's so new...so weird, hard to get used to. The forum feels like I have to navigate all over to find new posts. As plain as the old one was, I miss it.
3) My browser has a spell check, like Microsoft Word. Now when I type a message in the reply box, when I right click a word to be fixed it won't let me. I'm assuming it has to do with javascript or some code. It, instead, pops up for me to cut, copy or paste. Very annoying. I like to get my spelling mistakes fixed.
That's all for now. I'm going to plow through the day (fortunately I have a smoothie awaiting me at 2pm when my coworker comes to work). I think a nap is in order. As much as I want to give up, and have soooo many bad things, I can't. I may have gone up 2lb for whatever reason, but I'm not going to go down in flames for it. I'll loose those lbs. It's just one small setback, with a greater reward for my diligence.
Loch
New member
ASo far, today,
Had a small fight with Andrew on MSN, very small. I'm really emotional (probably due to PMS, but who knows).
Cried for about 20 mins straight.
Had a bath, had a snack, and went to exercise.
30 min walk, 108 calories burned
30 workout at curves, 367 calories burned
30 min walk, 108 calories burned
= 584 burned
Snack (one special k strawberry crisp, 50c, one turkey stick, 60c), 110 calories
Lunch (6" chicken bacon ranch sub), 500 calories
= 610 calories
Had a small fight with Andrew on MSN, very small. I'm really emotional (probably due to PMS, but who knows).
Cried for about 20 mins straight.
Had a bath, had a snack, and went to exercise.
30 min walk, 108 calories burned
30 workout at curves, 367 calories burned
30 min walk, 108 calories burned
= 584 burned
Snack (one special k strawberry crisp, 50c, one turkey stick, 60c), 110 calories
Lunch (6" chicken bacon ranch sub), 500 calories
= 610 calories
chelsea_morning
New member
AThat is so impressive that you had a fight, and did all that crying, but you still got yourself together and exercised! Whenever I am super upset I find reasons to skip or cut corners. Kill it girl!!! I read through your whole thread and you have improved your attitude and habits SO MUCH since you first started blogging. You're awesome!
Loch
New member
AThanks, Chelsea_morning .
Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to give up, more often than not these days. My weight hasn't changed over the last week, I feel that I haven't done anything too drastic...but maybe I'm not doing enough. I'm not very strict, in that I don't weigh or measure. When I have cereal for example, I don't measure it out, or the milk. I just guess. Maybe that's my problem?
I know I should add exercise to my plan. I try, and I KEEP sleeping in. I can't think straight when I wake up, and I never just do it. I hate it so much.
I'm going to try harder, I'm not going to fall off course because I've had a bad week. I'll just have to be more careful, and keep trying to go to the gym. It would help, I'm sure. The walking alone would help.
Anyway, that's about it for now. Just wanted to keep updated.
Food:
1 banana (100 calories give or take)
1 activia yogurt (100 calories)
1 pack of carrots (20 calories)
2x turkey sticks (60x2 = 120 calories)
1 cheese string (60 calories)
Instant rice (400 calories, I rounded up)
1 red bull [I know! So bad...but so good x.x (110 calories)]
Homemade soup (no clue, gonna guess at 300)
1310 calories
.Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to give up, more often than not these days. My weight hasn't changed over the last week, I feel that I haven't done anything too drastic...but maybe I'm not doing enough. I'm not very strict, in that I don't weigh or measure. When I have cereal for example, I don't measure it out, or the milk. I just guess. Maybe that's my problem?
I know I should add exercise to my plan. I try, and I KEEP sleeping in. I can't think straight when I wake up, and I never just do it. I hate it so much.
I'm going to try harder, I'm not going to fall off course because I've had a bad week. I'll just have to be more careful, and keep trying to go to the gym. It would help, I'm sure. The walking alone would help.
Anyway, that's about it for now. Just wanted to keep updated.
Food:
1 banana (100 calories give or take)
1 activia yogurt (100 calories)
1 pack of carrots (20 calories)
2x turkey sticks (60x2 = 120 calories)
1 cheese string (60 calories)
Instant rice (400 calories, I rounded up)
1 red bull [I know! So bad...but so good x.x (110 calories)]
Homemade soup (no clue, gonna guess at 300)
1310 calories
Loch
New member
ASo I hopped on my scale this morning, as I'm wont to do. I dropped down to 236. I'm stoked. I haven't been feeling well these last few days, but I stuck to my diet instead of giving in. I'm so happy. With luck I'll reach my goal of 229 by Sept 16th.
Going to see the new Harry Potter movie today finally, no popcorn though! I'm gonna have some fat free no sugar frozen yogurt.
Food:
1 hamburger, bbq'd w/ ketchup and bun (gonna guess at 300)
3 slices of cantaloupe (about 120 calories)
1 Frozen Yogurt (about 300)
Small fries (guessing at 300)
Going to see the new Harry Potter movie today finally, no popcorn though! I'm gonna have some fat free no sugar frozen yogurt
.Food:
1 hamburger, bbq'd w/ ketchup and bun (gonna guess at 300)
3 slices of cantaloupe (about 120 calories)
1 Frozen Yogurt (about 300)
Small fries (guessing at 300)
Irishprincess
New member
Ah well done girl, thats amazing amount to lose!! Serious congrats or in order, and well done for not giving into the bad food when you werent feeling well!!
Loch
New member
AThanks IrishPrincess .
I was down to 235 this morning, I'm skeptical. I think it'll probably go up, then down again. We'll see.
Having an okay day...relationship wise, things aren't looking well. Oh well.
Food:
Half a banana (50 calories)
Yogurt (100 calories)
2x turkey stick (120 calories)
1 cheese string (60 calories)
1 fruit cup (70 calories)
McDonald's Mighty Caesar w/ grilled chicken, without dressing (360 calories, not sure without dressing)
1 medium orange juice (110 calories)
Soup (150 calories)
1 red bull [what can I say? It makes me happy, and I'm really upset today (110 calories)]
Cereal (300 calories)
Total: 1430
. I was down to 235 this morning, I'm skeptical. I think it'll probably go up, then down again. We'll see.
Having an okay day...relationship wise, things aren't looking well. Oh well.
Food:
Half a banana (50 calories)
Yogurt (100 calories)
2x turkey stick (120 calories)
1 cheese string (60 calories)
1 fruit cup (70 calories)
McDonald's Mighty Caesar w/ grilled chicken, without dressing (360 calories, not sure without dressing)
1 medium orange juice (110 calories)
Soup (150 calories)
1 red bull [what can I say? It makes me happy, and I'm really upset today (110 calories)]
Cereal (300 calories)
Total: 1430
Daybehavior
New member
AHiya Loch. Thanks for dropping by on my blog earlier. From what I've read, you seem very persistent and have the right mind set to get this thing done. You're definitely right; its a marathon, not a sprint and thats something I always seem to forget from time to time.
Sucks about your old boyfriend. We guys have a tendency to be stupid pricks that don't value what we have. I hope things turn out OK with you and Andrew
Sucks about your old boyfriend. We guys have a tendency to be stupid pricks that don't value what we have. I hope things turn out OK with you and Andrew
Loch
New member
AUnfortunately, not so much. I think we broke up...it sure felt that way. I'm feeling really dead inside tonight.
I think I'll just focus on me. I have a feeling that, if I can't love myself, I don't think I should venture into a relationship that will undoubtedly fail. I'll keep my head up and focus on my weight loss. I need to heal in more ways than one. I know, this time, I can't give up just because I'm hurting.
Thank you for stopping by, though. I wouldn't say men are stupid pricks (granted some are worse than others)...it's pretty equal, women are just as bad. I just think men have a very different approach to things. Love is a battle that I just don't have the energy for, right now. C'est le vie.
I think I'll just focus on me. I have a feeling that, if I can't love myself, I don't think I should venture into a relationship that will undoubtedly fail. I'll keep my head up and focus on my weight loss. I need to heal in more ways than one. I know, this time, I can't give up just because I'm hurting.
Thank you for stopping by, though. I wouldn't say men are stupid pricks (granted some are worse than others)...it's pretty equal, women are just as bad. I just think men have a very different approach to things. Love is a battle that I just don't have the energy for, right now. C'est le vie.
Irishprincess
New member
Oh no Loch you poor thing!!! Well forget him, you dont need negative energy in your life especially at the moment when you are making a huge positive change in your life!! Anyways lovely dont let this knock you down. You are doing so great!! Keep going strong!!
Im proud of ya chick!!xoxox
Im proud of ya chick!!xoxox
Loch
New member
AThanks for the kind words you two . Andrew and I had a talk, although we did leave on such a sour note, he said we didn't break up. He's just thinking. I'm not sure where we'll go from here, but all that matters right now more than anything is my health. I'm just going to have to keep my chin up.
I just sent a message to my ex. After 7 months of nothing, I'm finally going to go about getting rid of his stuff and getting my stuff back. I hope he doesn't pitch a fit over me taking the Xbox360 back. After all, I did pay for most of it. I also don't want his backstabbing girlfriend there when I go to the city to give him back his crap. I had to pack it all up, it's 10 boxes worth. I hate this...but I was polite enough.
"I only have one day to get your stuff back to you, next week Wednesday August the 31st. I need to know if you're still living with your mom. I don't particularly want to talk on the phone, so if you could reply back, or email me (you ought to know my email by now), that would be great. I would appreciate you clearing your day so that we can get this done. I want my stuff packed up so I don't have to be there any longer than required. So, yeah, message back asap and we'll go from there.
-Rebecca"
Anyway, my diet is about the same. I really, really like McDonald's salad! I wonder if it really is healthy...
I went up to 237 today, that time of the month, I'm hoping it goes back down in a week. It should, it did last time. With any luck I'll hit my next monthly goal of 229 by Sept. 16th. I think I will. I have like 2 1/2 weeks. Ah well!
. Andrew and I had a talk, although we did leave on such a sour note, he said we didn't break up. He's just thinking. I'm not sure where we'll go from here, but all that matters right now more than anything is my health. I'm just going to have to keep my chin up. I just sent a message to my ex. After 7 months of nothing, I'm finally going to go about getting rid of his stuff and getting my stuff back. I hope he doesn't pitch a fit over me taking the Xbox360 back. After all, I did pay for most of it. I also don't want his backstabbing girlfriend there when I go to the city to give him back his crap. I had to pack it all up, it's 10 boxes worth. I hate this...but I was polite enough.
"I only have one day to get your stuff back to you, next week Wednesday August the 31st. I need to know if you're still living with your mom. I don't particularly want to talk on the phone, so if you could reply back, or email me (you ought to know my email by now), that would be great. I would appreciate you clearing your day so that we can get this done. I want my stuff packed up so I don't have to be there any longer than required. So, yeah, message back asap and we'll go from there.
-Rebecca"
Anyway, my diet is about the same. I really, really like McDonald's salad! I wonder if it really is healthy...
I went up to 237 today, that time of the month, I'm hoping it goes back down in a week. It should, it did last time. With any luck I'll hit my next monthly goal of 229 by Sept. 16th. I think I will. I have like 2 1/2 weeks. Ah well!
Loch
New member
ASpoke too soon, I'm now single. He wants to remain friends, in the end, it was mostly mutual. I'm more sad at what we could have been if we were both...normal. He's emotionless and I'm emotional. Bad mix, that, and we were so similar in that we're people pleaser's. Hard to decide what to do when we don't like to make decisions, so yeah...
My mind is now mostly on this weight loss. I'm optimistic that I'll feel better about myself, and more invested in a relationship in a few years. I'm too messed up inside for anything.
Goal = lose weight, take up ballet and kick boxing. Those are two things I'd love to do.
My mind is now mostly on this weight loss. I'm optimistic that I'll feel better about myself, and more invested in a relationship in a few years. I'm too messed up inside for anything.
Goal = lose weight, take up ballet and kick boxing. Those are two things I'd love to do.
Daybehavior
New member
AAhh that's the spirit. I'm glad you're taking it well and deciding to prioritize yourself before becoming invested in a relationship. LOL @ taking the xbox back...what games do you play on it?
Loch
New member
AHey
I play a lot of games, I work in video game retail. The ones I like are Dragon Age (all of them), just got into Dance Central. I've got L.A. Noire, Tales of Vesperia, Catherine, I love the Rock Band and Guitar Hero games (I got myself the keyboard for Rock Band 3).
I own an Xbox360 already, a PS3, Wii, DSiXl, 3DS, nintendo/super nintendo. I'm more a fan of collecting than anything else. I love, love, love RPGs. I'd play Chrono Trigger on the SNES over anything new, any day.
The reason I want the X360 back from my ex-fiance is because it was a limited edition red one, it came with Resident Evil 5. They're rare, and as I said, I'm a collector. I paid mostly for it, and I want it back (plus it has all my saves on it). Honestly, HE cheated on me several times, HE proposed and, again cheated. So, really, I'm not asking for much lol.
Right now I'm playing waaaay too much Sims 3 haha. Ah well, it's not as bad as WoW, which has disappointed me.
I play a lot of games, I work in video game retail. The ones I like are Dragon Age (all of them), just got into Dance Central. I've got L.A. Noire, Tales of Vesperia, Catherine, I love the Rock Band and Guitar Hero games (I got myself the keyboard for Rock Band 3).
I own an Xbox360 already, a PS3, Wii, DSiXl, 3DS, nintendo/super nintendo. I'm more a fan of collecting than anything else. I love, love, love RPGs. I'd play Chrono Trigger on the SNES over anything new, any day.
The reason I want the X360 back from my ex-fiance is because it was a limited edition red one, it came with Resident Evil 5. They're rare, and as I said, I'm a collector. I paid mostly for it, and I want it back (plus it has all my saves on it). Honestly, HE cheated on me several times, HE proposed and, again cheated. So, really, I'm not asking for much lol.
Right now I'm playing waaaay too much Sims 3 haha. Ah well, it's not as bad as WoW, which has disappointed me.
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