Taking another approach

mommamel

mommamel

0
Tonight, as I sit, I have made a decision to take a larger look at how far I have come and where it is I wish to take my weight loss future.

I've been so caught up in the day to day of calories, exercise and regular life that I think I've somehow gone a little haywire. I look day to day how much I've lost or gained. I calculate every little thing I put into my mouth. I calculate my exercise calories burned. I think maybe I'm a little crazy.

Today I've decided to take the rest of Sept and all of October to scale it back a bit. Instead of busting my ass every day I'm going to try and not. OMG, even as I write this I'm freaking out inside about what I am going to not do tomorrow at the gym. You see, tomorrow is Pilates and Step Aerobics. I love both of these classes and I love the people in the class with me. It's like social hour as well as a great big workout.

I'm like an addict trying to not take a drink. How do I do this, what do I do instead. If I don't have all the risers on my step does that count as taking it down a notch???

I'm unreal. I used to be addicted to food, I couldn't NOT put in the extra butter or heavy cream. I bought milk straight from the cow and wouldn't think of buying anything low or GAG GAG non fat. I certainly wasn't going to do that to my family, wow, how far I've come to health. I think maybe it's true that once an addict always an addict just of a different thing.

Goal for Monday, do not, I repeat do not weigh myself. Accept that I did not go over 1600 calories any day this past week. That in and of itself means I should not have gained any fat weight. I will not, I can't even type it, I will not. Pilates really shouldn't count as a workout. I mean it's definately strenghtening my body but it's not hard on my body at all. So I'll do pilates. Step, well, step is only for 1 hr and that's straight cardio. I don't think that's crazy. So I'll do everything normal tomorrow except I will not weigh myself. I need to break that habit!

I'm so thankful my wii remote is lost. That makes my not weighing myself easier.

That's all for tonight. I guess I really didn't change much of anything. I'm looking at the larger picture, that's a start.
 
Went against 2 of my 2 challenges to myself. I weighed myself at the Y and I did step class.

Granted, I didn't use any risers and I used light weights; I kept it really low key but still. I'm not going to workout again today. Taking the rest of the day off. We'll see how my calories go.
 
Yesterday was a very light caloric intake day; I went just under 1300.
My head still isn't right from this crazy vertigo so I think my workout should be pilates, a walk or the elliptical at a low intensity. I'm supposed to swim tonight but I don't think getting my head in the water is the best idea right now.
I've been reading up on body and muscle recovery. I don't think I've been doing a great job at that. I do get usually 7-8 hrs of sleep at night but each day my workouts included the same muscle groups. I really don't know if they are as intense as the "intense" they write of but daily overdoing it probably isn't doing me any longterm favors.
I wish I really knew how much I burn while working put, I think I want a bodybug. Maybe I'll have to ask Santa for one for Xmas.
Onto my day...
 
With my day over, other than the sleeping part, I have eaten just under 1600 calories. My workout consisted of pilates and SBBC circuit training. I spoke to a trainer today, kraig, and he asked about my body goals were. I outlined them as loss of fat and add muscle. He reiterated what Steve, from here, told me. Lay off all the cardio. I guess I really need to change.
Tomorrow I start bodybuilding. I've made up a workout routine for the next 3 months. Muscle building here we come. I'm so going to miss my step & tennis. It seems absolutely to really feel a loss by giving those things up for a while.
Back & chest & abs next up; low reps, high weight, 3 sets.
I hope I don't screw this up and go off the deep end again. I've got to remember to keep balance and recovery in perspective. Good luck with that, ha!
 
First weights session. I'm so sore! Back & chest & abs; I was pretty impressed with myself as far as the weights I could do. It felt empowering to groan out those last few reps, I guess I'm not surprised that I'm gonna love this too. Good grief!
 
The one "organized" exercise class I'm going to keep up doing is my circuit training. Before that, today, I'm going to walk at an incline, not sure what yet, for at least 30 mins.
I'm terribly sore from yesterday's workout but sore in an "I can keep this up" way.
Today I also started supplements. I discovered I do not eat enough proteins yet so until I figure out a way to keep my calories balanced and get more protein into my daily diet I am going to be using a Whey protein drink after my workout. I've also started taking Tonalin CLA 1000 mg 3 times a day; Carnipure L-Carnitine 500 mg in the morning; Jack3d before my workouts. When I jump on a wagon I jump on with both feet!!!
I also did my measurements yesterday, they were very discouraging; all this work I've been doing and my ass, and hips and thigh are still huge.
Waist - 30.5
Hips - 38.5
Chest - 34.5
Bicept - 12
Thigh - 24
Butt (fattest part with thighs included) - 40
I'll remeasure at the end of October.
We'll see how this all pans out!
 
I am sore, sore, sore. I've decided to take Fridays off in addition to Sundays because I don't want to overwork my body.
Yesterday I did 1 full chin up. Very good start!
I also got on the scale for my beginning of the month and am 153.1. This is the 1st time I have been under 154.
My calories have been in the 1600 range but I'm attempting to up my protein. It's so hard to do, who would have thought that. I would have thought eating protein would be so much easier. This morning my egg sandwich consisted of; 1 whole wheat english muffin, 1 full egg, 2 egg whites and a morning glory breakfast sausage patty.
It'll be a relaxing day visiting an old friend from out of town.
 
I might be taking Saturday off as well as today. My body is causing me such discomfort due to my Wednesday, chest & back, weight training and Thursday circuit training. I seriously doubt I could lift up a weight regardless of the poundage. While taking dishes out of the dishwasher I dropped the cutting board because it was too heavy. Geez!
I did much much better on my protein intake today. I ended up with 129g, that ended up being 38% of my caloric intake. Not too bad. The problem is with eating all this protein I'm not hungry at all. I'm a little worried my calories are still a little too low, today the were just a few under 1600. I am so full I actually had to make myself eat dinner even though I didn't want to. Im also concerned re: my fat intake, it was 23% today. I looked over what they consisted of and it was from salmon, my 1 egg yolk and 1 tblsp of butter. Hopefully as I become more aware of these little things I will change my buying habits.
Tomorrow is my running, I shall see if my body is up to it. I'm awfully thankful for the constructive criticism I've received of late. It feels nice to take a deep breath and listen to my body for a change.
 
Yesterday, Saturday, I did go to my running group. It felt great. Not only do I love the outdoor workout but I also love meeting & getting to say I know people who have interesting takes on health and fitness. I also went to body blast. I used only 5pm hand weights. My body responded by loosening up. I happy I went.
Sundays are non workout, non calorie counting days. It feels so liberating to just eat what I want, within reason of course. I ate 2 pieces of cinnamon toast with butter and it felt amazing to not write down those calories and macro nutrients that go along with it.
I'm looking forward to my left over soup & a piece of the apple I'm making today. However, I'm already thinking of my tomorrow workout. Pilates and lower body. I need to look up butt & hammy exercises that don't end up excentuating my quads, they are already defined and large. I would like to minimize their size while increasing the muscle tone in my butt. Difficult task ahead of me I presume.
 
Yesterday, Saturday, I did go to my running group. It felt great. Not only do I love the outdoor workout but I also love meeting & getting to say I know people who have interesting takes on health and fitness. I also went to body blast. I used only 5pm hand weights. My body responded by loosening up. I happy I went.
Sundays are non workout, non calorie counting days. It feels so liberating to just eat what I want, within reason of course. I ate 2 pieces of cinnamon toast with butter and it felt amazing to not write down those calories and macro nutrients that go along with it.
I'm looking forward to my left over soup & a piece of the apple I'm making today. However, I'm already thinking of my tomorrow workout. Pilates and lower body. I need to look up butt & hammy exercises that don't end up excentuating my quads, they are already defined and large. I would like to minimize their size while increasing the muscle tone in my butt. Difficult task ahead of me I presume.
 
I can't wait for tomorrow. I feel so fat. I did end up counting calories and it only came to 1800 but other than dinner it was just yummy high carb foods. Apple pie, cinnamon toast, mocha from mcdonalds. Ugh, Im happy that's out of my system and I can go back to my new and improved normal.
 
Back on track today. Sometimes when I allow myself to just eat good things my body tells my mind that it doesn't like those things anymore.
Anyway, today I lifted my lower body. The series I created was very intense and very long. I was able to lift 60 lbs plus bar doing squats. It was tough but I did make it through 3 sets of 8. I found that my lower body is so much stronger than my upper body in that I could have done heavier weighted 1 leg lunges if I could get the heavier weight up behind my head. I ended up having to only have 40 lbs on that because I couldn't lift anything heavier over my head without feeling like I wouldn't be able to get it off of me. I don't know how to handle that.
My other weird discovery was that as exhausted I was I wasn't in any "pain". More than anything I was just totally wiped, head to toe. Couldn't have done anything more if there were a gun to my head. I literally couldn't do much else but sit down and drink my protein shake and eat my pear. I wonder how sore I will be tomorrow and the next, and the next. Quite a different feeling that when I lifted my upper body.
I'm keeping my calories low today just because of my shit eating yesterday. High protein low calorie foods today.
Now my family life is calling and I need to get a few chores around here done!
 
I keep reading about the importance of sleep, unfortantly my children can't read. I've had, all 3 kids in bed with us for some period of time last night; or should I say even now. My poor husband took the brunt of it last night. I couldn't seem to find my legs quick enough to get up out of bed so he did it two of the three times needed and he is already gone to work. I don't know how he is going to swim tonight. He's gonna be whooped!
I guess I'll have to insert my interveinous drip of coffee into out blood stream today in the hopes that a stimulant will help.
 
Pilates & SBBC circuit training this morning. I'm exhausted. Tonight we go to the Y to swim. I hope I don't sink!
 
I'm wiped! I had such a deep night sleep that when I woke at which time I thought it was the middle of the night and come to find out it was 5:25, time to get up.
My body is feeling a whole different kind of tired since I switched up my program from cardio to heavy weights. With cardio I felt like I could go on forever and each day felt, typically, as great as the day before. I was totally energized and couldn't dream of missing anything. I do not feel that way anymore. I really enjoy lifting weights but my body seems to need so much time to recover! I mean days!!
My typically schedule was Mon - lower body lift & walk with an incline on treadmill; Tues - Pilates & SBBC & swim class at night; Wed - walk with an incline on treadmill & upper body lift & run 2 miles at home at night; Thurs - Pilates & SBBC; Fri - depends on how I feel probably nothing; Sat - running group & Body Blast; Sun - nothing!
Today I'm so wiped I don't know if I should do upper body or save it for Friday. I have no motivation whatsoever. The very idea of getting all the food made for the morning and lunch, getting the kids ready, out to the van, into the Y, workout, get showered and dressed,
I'm not looking for coodoos here but anyone that even thinks that it is hard for them to get themselves to a workout facility and doesn't have to do all of what I do is plain straight up just doesn't want to workout! I guess I'm looking to vent just a little bit.
I have friends who can't believe the weight I've lost and they tell me their sob story about how it's just too hard for them to get somewhere to workout. They work and it's so much easier for me because I'm a SAHM, I just want to SCREAM F*** YOU!!! You have no idea how hard it is to get all these kids plus myself ready in the morning to be out the door by 8:30. Work, you work, well holy crap. Before I go to the Y, my house is picked up, usually vacuumed, bed is made, laundry is being done, dishes and kitchen are cleaned up, kids are dressed(most of the time this is where I actually slack the most they really like just going in their pj's and it really is just easier), breakfast has been made and eaten or taken into the van so they can eat it on the way, lunch is made and packed to go with us because they are so hungry (or so they tell me) when we get in the van after the Y, my food has been packed and brought along & I need to get my 4 year old to B4K by 12:45. It takes me 30 mins to get to the Y and 30 mins to get him to school, we live in the woods. Anyway, it makes me so angry. They when I'm in my class or at the Y and I see people doing only 1/2 an effort I think, what is the POINT? Why even bother and certainly don't bother asking me or complaining to me about how difficult it is for you, I don't belive you. If you work you get a lunch period. You could also get up a little earlier and go before work because usually you don't have to be at work until 8 am. It all depends on how bad you want it. My brother, who has lost a ton of weight, just told me yesterday he hasn't been doing much because he has this rental house that is so much work and blah, blah, blah. So on Sunday he had to work on it for 12 hrs, from 9 am to 9 pm. He has no young kids and his wife is very supportive of his exercise needs to be healthy so he could have gotten up early and gone before he went to his house. A short run or walk from his house for 30mins would have been suffice. I really just can't stand it. I have to workout before I get to the gym to workout just getting everything ready to workout. Obviously, that really makes me angry. My one workout instructor, when I ranted to him one day, told me (and I need to keep reminding myself of this), "you can only work on you" If others want to do it there are resources out there for help but they have to want it.
I guess this little CRAZY session has made me want it. Up I go to begin my workout day! Upper body it is!
 
I'm home and I'm so happy I went to the Y. There is nothing quite like the rush you get from a good, sweat producing workout.
I walked my 30 mins at an incline starting at 8 up to 13 @ a speed of 3.0.
I increased all upper body weights by a minimum of 2.5 lbs from last week and honestly I probably could have increased some of them more because I hurt but could finish almost all sets. The one thing that I was worse at today was my pushups. Last week I started with 12, at the very beginning of my work out. 6 full down to 12 girl pushups midway through the workout and 0 at the end, nadda! Today I only did 8 at the start, 3 full in the middle and 0 at the end. I'm not sure if it's because we did so many yesterday in SBBC or what but I couldn't get up. I also couldn't do any chin ups, not even 1 unassisted. OH well, all in all it was a great workout and I felt, as I did last week, so strong. Loved it.
Onto my run tonight. Just 2 miles but hopefully a little faster. I really need to figure out my stride in regards to pace. I can't tell from one step to another if I'm faster or slower until the end and I look at my time.
Until then, chores, chores, chores. What an amazing life I'm able to live. I am thankful!
 
Lying in bed reading about bodybuilding pros & cons programs does not a bodybuilder make. I've got to stop reading, for now, and get my kids & my ass to the Y! Holy crap I'm exhausted. Either I'm doing too much, too long, too intense and I'm burning out or my body needs more recovery than I am yet giving it.
I've got to make adjustments.
 
Pilates and SBBC circuit training today. It felt great to workout with other enthusiasts! I was talking to a woman who used to do bodybuilding competitions and expressed my exhaustion and food issues with her. She told me she too was wiped. She told me my exhaustion is due to my body having to repair itself on such a constant basis. She also told me I need to increase my calories but not with high sugary or salty foods. Basically more fruits and veggies. She told me to get some book by curtis something, obviously i need to catch that name again.
I did notice my first sign of progress today. My shoulder's looked great. My upper body is the leanest part of me so that shouldn't be suprising but at least it gives me something concrete to see. If the scale isn't moving but I'm looking better it give me hope that gains can come in forms other than the numbers on a scale. Now if only I noticed a change in my bum. I think that'll take a little more time. Hopefully I and my family can withstand my exhaustion that leads to my slacking a little while longer while my body adjusts.
I also think I'm going to start listing, on here, one thing I'm most proud of myself for, in the fitness arena anyway, and what I felt I could have done differently or better or however it'll be catagorized for that day.
Yesterday I am very proud of myself for ordering pizza from my favorite place but only eating 1 piece and then having a yogurt, 1/2 of my earlier egg sandwich. Previously I would have eating 1/2 of that whole pizza (it was thin crust so don't roll your eyes).
I'm least proud of the fact that I was supposed to make salmon and squash but I was so tired we ordered pizza instead.
All in all I know it's mostly a mental battle of what I want to do and what I need to do instead. I just wish I didn't want the bad stuff so much that it takes so much energy to not do it.
 
Best thing I did today; went through mcdonalds for the boys & only ordered water for myself. Worst thing; I finished off the last 1/3 of clarkes cheeseburger.
 
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