t spot diary

T

tspot

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I am at the heaviest I have ever been. I mean I am heavier now then when I was pregnant ! I am 5"2 and 215 pounds right now . I can not believe I have gotten this heavy and am so disappointed that I let myself get like this . I say I want to try to lose weight and then I go eat some cookies . I have no will power I mean why can I not just say no I won't eat that chocolate and then not pick it up ? I pick it up everytime ! But here I am trying again hopefully this time it sticks . I am so tired of being heavy . I am uncomfortable all the time and I don't my kids to ever think mommy is unhealthy I just want them to always see exercise and healthy eating as a normal day to day thing so that they will hopefully adopt those same habits in their lives as they get Older. So today I officially weighed myself ( that was horrible) and am setting two goals for myself . 1 is that I would like to be 140 pounds again. And number 2 is that I would like to lose 5 pounds in November . At the moment exercise isn't really an option so that means diet needs to be on point . The next few days I'm sure will suck because at this point I am pretty addicted to sugar and not sure how long it takes to stop craving it this much , but I am feeling pretty determined so we shall see .
 
Hi T and welcome to this forum! The main problem with resisting sweets is often habit, not a lack of willpower. Habits are hard to break! So don't be too hard on yourself; frustration only leads to craving sugar and fat. You took an important first step already: you decided you've had enough and you faced the scale. Second step: define your problem areas. You made a start on that too: too much refined sugar and no exercise possibilities. (I hope you don't mind my curiosity but is that because of health, time or other issues?) Then you also took steps to find support here in the forum. I hope you'll feel at home here and I look forward to seeing you reach your goals one by one.
All the best, LaMa.
 
Thank you for the support guys . LaMaria you hit the nail on the head it is habit more than craving ( although that is definitely there too lol) exercise is a bit of a challenge right now due to time and health . I have 5 young children none of who have ever been great sleepers . It usually takes till 3 to get them to sleep through the night and right now I am still nursing the baby and she sleeps with me so there is no actual time I can really carve out for exercise right now . Health wise I am an ashmatic a slightly bad one but not to the point where if I take my inhalers properly and start out slowly I couldn't improve my breathing capabilities and I am looking forward to doing that once I have the time to get more than the dishes done during the day lol. This is why i feel so bad that I have failed so badly with eating . I knew that it wouldn't be the easiest for me to exercise to lose weight so I always should have been on top of my diet . So baby steps right ? I have done pretty good the last few days since I joined this site . I have started having yogurt with chia seeds for breakfast and chicken salad or soup for lunch and i have been able to skip the carb at supper so far and just have whichever meat and veggie is on the menu for the day . I have cut down the snacking pretty well but there is definitely some room for improvement there that I still need to work on . Usually already just a few days into trying to lose weight I am fed up with it but I am not feeling completely done with it yet so I am taking that as a good sign that maybe I am ready this time to do this . I know I can't do much for exercise yet without feeling overwhelmed but I am trying to get in 10 squats a day right now .....it isn't a lot but I am very out of shape and my knees hurt from all this weight so 10 it is for now .
 
You've made a great start! 5 kids are a LOT do deal with (I get anxious just thinking of it :eek: ) so don't beat yourself up if you can't get everything else perfect. Food is definitely the main factor in weight control anyway and if you get a little lighter you will likely breathe a little easier too, despite the asthma.
 
As a new mom too, I understand being BUSY! (I only have two but I asked my best friend who has 5 as well about this) Find ways to exercise with them instead of away from them even if it's once or twice a week! We want our kids to see our healthy habits, right? Take them for a walk around the house or to the park and walk around the field. Kick a ball together or learn to jump rope. Even walking with baby in a carrier burns a TON of calories!! I can ALWAYS find excuses not to work out - but after a week of exercising, you'll find your energy will go up and they might sleep better over time with that extra bit of outdoor or exercise time - plus, you're giving them healthy habits at a young age.

You're not going to be perfect - you don't need to be. It's changes made over time that get so much easier!!
 
I always want to be able to keep up with my kids, and they are an active bunch lol but I feel if I don't make this change now then as they get Older they will start to notice or feel like mommy doesn't get as involved when they are being active and I know how much they all love it when my husband and I are playing too. So far the parenting roles were pretty obvious . Mommy carries the baby and prepares everything and actually supervises lol so they can do all the outings we do and daddy does the running ,jumping, throwing stuff . But we are starting to debate our 1 year old being our last and then without a baby that is constantly nursing I have no excuse as to why I shouldn't be playing as much in their eyes . I feel like up until this point I Have been able to fake being able to keep up with them ,I could play football long enough but then the baby needed me so it was OK I sat down anyways , I was playing tag but then the baby cried . So they never had to know that if the baby hadn't interrupted I would have had to stop anyways soon . So I figure if I start working on it now they never will even have had to question mommy being out of shape. which we talk about health often in our household so I don't want them to connect the dots that we both talk about it but really daddy is the only fit one . And he does take away the excuse of support in that department lol my husband goes to the gym almost everyday and has no problem if we don't buy any junk food . I have access, once I have the time thing figured out, to a treadmill and weights and everything right there in my garage and not to mention I basically have a personal trainer . I just never really mention to him I am starting to diet because then if I fail at it and lose no weight it's OK because he didn't know anyways . I know I should tell him so then I am kind of held more accountable maybe I will try harder because he knows. then not mentioning it so he doesn't realize I couldn't do it .
 
Kudos to you for not wanting to burden your kids with the mental baggage of food restriction and exercise-as-a-chore. Having your husband on board actively would probably be a good idea but I´m going to guess that he´ll be one of the first people to notice anyway - and that´s a nice thing to work toward, too.
 
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