spinning world
New member
I've started and given up so many times. At one point I was 210lbs and my older sister's wedding was right around the corner. That was June several years ago, by the end of the following September I had lost 40lbs and I felt better about myself than I ever had. I've been heavy my entire life, for whatever reason. For a couple years after I lost the 40lbs I floated up 10-15lbs but never got over 185.
Then my parents divorced 3 months before my 21st birthday. A few months later I moved in with my dad because my mom and I were having issues. Shortly after that I started drinking. The summer before my final semester as an undergrad I drank 4-7 nights a week, by myself, hiding it from my dad. During that same time I was training for a half marathon. I lost about 10 of the pounds that drinking had put on me.
Five weeks away from my race (which was mod-September) I burned the bottom of my feet by walking across hot asphalt without shoes. It was November before the calluses on the balls of my feet were even remotely back to normal. The damage was done and I lost all of my motivation to run. My dad also was being forced to move from our home in Rhode Island to North Carolina for a new job.
That was about 3 years ago. My drinking got worse, I had an awful breakup, a crushing series of rejections from graduate schools, and an onset of severe anxiety.
One and a half years ago I met my current boyfriend and we moved in together about 4 months later. Being on my own, having a significant other who does not have healthy habits, and continuing to drink to excess have brought me to where I am today. I am 220lbs, stressed from my job, and freaking out about going to grad school in the Fall at the same school I went to undergrad for, being 30lbs heavier than I ever was during my previous four years there.
I'm so self conscious about how I look to other people that when I leave the house I am constantly worrying about how many people must look at me in utter disgust. I know that I brought this on myself. That is why I am finally getting a handle on my drinking, developing a plan to be at the gym 3 mornings a week before work (because I simply cannot go during the busy times...anxiety ends up chaining me to a walk on the treadmill). I am also going to ease myself back into running with a couch-to-5k app.
My goal is to be down 20lbs by the start of grad school, which is massive goal, but one I think I can accomplish. After that, my ultimate goal will to reach the 160s...a weight bracket I've never been in as an adult.
One day at a time.
Then my parents divorced 3 months before my 21st birthday. A few months later I moved in with my dad because my mom and I were having issues. Shortly after that I started drinking. The summer before my final semester as an undergrad I drank 4-7 nights a week, by myself, hiding it from my dad. During that same time I was training for a half marathon. I lost about 10 of the pounds that drinking had put on me.
Five weeks away from my race (which was mod-September) I burned the bottom of my feet by walking across hot asphalt without shoes. It was November before the calluses on the balls of my feet were even remotely back to normal. The damage was done and I lost all of my motivation to run. My dad also was being forced to move from our home in Rhode Island to North Carolina for a new job.
That was about 3 years ago. My drinking got worse, I had an awful breakup, a crushing series of rejections from graduate schools, and an onset of severe anxiety.
One and a half years ago I met my current boyfriend and we moved in together about 4 months later. Being on my own, having a significant other who does not have healthy habits, and continuing to drink to excess have brought me to where I am today. I am 220lbs, stressed from my job, and freaking out about going to grad school in the Fall at the same school I went to undergrad for, being 30lbs heavier than I ever was during my previous four years there.
I'm so self conscious about how I look to other people that when I leave the house I am constantly worrying about how many people must look at me in utter disgust. I know that I brought this on myself. That is why I am finally getting a handle on my drinking, developing a plan to be at the gym 3 mornings a week before work (because I simply cannot go during the busy times...anxiety ends up chaining me to a walk on the treadmill). I am also going to ease myself back into running with a couch-to-5k app.
My goal is to be down 20lbs by the start of grad school, which is massive goal, but one I think I can accomplish. After that, my ultimate goal will to reach the 160s...a weight bracket I've never been in as an adult.
One day at a time.
