Stress Eaters: why do you over-eat?

GardenKitty

GardenKitty

New member
Hey Everyone,

I've read a lot of threads in The Club about over-eating, binge eating, and stress eating. Some people hold the opinion that simply utilizing will-power and setting strict rules for oneself is the best way to overcome these episodes. I, however, disagree.

I feel many of us are overweight because of an emotional root (unless you grew up being overweight or had some medical reason that caused the weight problem, then there might not be one). I strongly feel that until each person recognizes the cause for over-eating, they will not be able to effectively manage and utilize will-power to control the behavior. So, I wanted to create a thread where I can share my reasons for over-eating and find support with other people who have these problems too.

----my story----
For me, my work and living situation have been difficult for the past two years. I'm in a graduate program where I'm living over 1000 miles away from both my boyfriend and my family. It's just developed into a situation where I'm depressed and lonely, and feel guilty for working out (I feel I should be working instead). When I feel lonely, I find comfort in eating foods that remind me of home -- but then I feel guilty for getting the food and eat it as quick as possible to "get rid of it". I feel like if I could get out of my current situation that I would be so much happier and wouldn't have these cravings that I am using as a way to treat these unhappy feelings.

Is anyone else in a stressful situation that they feel is causing their over-eating? For those of you with demanding jobs, how do you rationalize spending time at the gym instead of at work?

Thanks!
Sydney
 
I'm an emotional eater. I usually find myself to eat so much because I don't have a girlfriend. What's that? I'm pathetic? Yeah, I know...but, I haven't had a girlfriend in a while and eating makes me feel like I'm not alone. HOW? I don't know. But, it makes me feel comforted.

I know, I know...it doesn't make any sense, but neither does the shape of my body. It looks like someone started boiling and egg and then half way through they were like "Ahh, fuck it". I mean, I'm egg-like, but I'm really lumpy and stupid looking. Kind of like John Goodman.
 
ChefChiTown said:
I'm an emotional eater. I usually find myself to eat so much because I don't have a girlfriend. What's that? I'm pathetic? Yeah, I know...but, I haven't had a girlfriend in a while and eating makes me feel like I'm not alone. HOW? I don't know. But, it makes me feel comforted.

I know, I know...it doesn't make any sense, but neither does the shape of my body. It looks like someone started boiling and egg and then half way through they were like "Ahh, fuck it". I mean, I'm egg-like, but I'm really lumpy and stupid looking. Kind of like John Goodman.
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I'm sorry but when I was younger, I had the hotts for John Goodman when he was on Roseann! =P


I'm an emotional eater every so often, more so out of anger tho. And have had my problems with it growing up but it's tapered off as I got older and figured out why I'd eat.
 
PaperAirPlanes said:
Same thing every girl lounges around in during the day, nothing but skimpy bras and panties! =P
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Really?!?!?! Girls lounge around in that?!?!?! I KNEW IT!!!

PaperAirPlanes said:
Now see, you gotta have the scruffy John Goodman beard goin on!
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Are you KIDDING ME? I shaved my beard yesterday and, NO, I'm not kidding. HAHAHAHA, I look like a little boy now. All clean shaven and stupid looking. SIIIIIGH...

Damnit...
 
I emotional eat (sorry can't think right right now) cause I'm lonely, I have low self-esteem, and I'm depressed. But I'm working on beating all those things cause they are starting to piss me off.
 
I think my main trigger for binge eating is frustration at being in a situation that is bad for me.

At the moment it's my relationship. I know it's bad, i know i want out, but unfortunatey I have to bide my time till I have enough money to get out. The time to leave is getting closer and closer and that makes me relax somewhat, but whenever my boyfriend does something negative I get this overwhelming feeling of being trapped and that's usually when I binge.

Definitely something I want to overcome!
 
When I was little, my parents would kind of reward us with food (nothing insane)and my favorite food always was - and still is, pizza. We only got pizza though for a siblings birthday or the rare occasion that my parents just felt like ordering it (about once a year). I got my first job when I was 16, and at the time I was just a teeny bit chubby, maybe like 10 pounds overweight. I was so happy to have my own money to buy whatever kind of food I wanted, and I always bought those that reminded me of "being rewarded." So lots and lots of pizza pouches. I didn't really think it was a big deal and neither did my mom because I guess it's somewhat normal to do that when you first get money rolling in as a teen.

Eventually I toned it down, but then gained about 20 pounds due to other reasons and now I'm paying for it. I work at Dairy Queen and employees get a whopping 50% off everything :svengo: So I gained about 15 in about two months.

IT JUST TASTES SO DAMN GOOD!!!

And when I get really, really stressed out (like right now) I can feel myself actually thinking "Okay. Where is the closest McDonalds???" Which is actually kind of scary o.o

And when I'm eating my favorite food, I've actually closed my eyes and just savored it, like I was getting high or something...WEIRD. I'm getting a lot better now, and it makes me really sad to know that people are going through the same thing, but happy to know that I can converse with others about it :grouphug:
 
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I recently realized that if something sets me off - as in stress, I reach for food. I am trying to handle it in other ways now, by just stopping, thinking and taking a breath. If I want to reach for food, I stop and drink at least 3 glasses of water first.
 
I guess most overeating has an emotional background. Even if it is a reward thing, like you JulianaRose.

I'm the opposite actually: I genuinely like food! ^^; when I was 3 years old, I used to sneak under tables at buffets to bring back food for myself and my family (skipping queue).

Probably comes from a fear of "lacking" food, because I was adopted? Not really sure though.

When I'm happy, I tend to want to eat more whereas when I, for example, broke up with a boyfriend, I'd stop eating. It's quite baffling for me... Hence I diet so I can go on holiday and eat more.. does that make any sense?

but at least I'm at peace with food now.. hope everyone does at some point too ^^
 
I tend to eat emotionally as well, most of the time I have the "f*ck it mentality" where if Ive messed up slightly then I just go into binge mode. (I used to have bulimia, so controlling binges for me is actually really hard) A lot of the times when Im rejected or put down or put into a really stressful situation I dont know how to deal with thats when I used to resort to binging and purging. Really, dangerous actually...

But then again, I eat when Im really happy too, when Im with friends having a drink or celebrating. But I think most of my problem comes from eating when im stressed or upset.

PS: ChefChi--I think your being to hard on yourself about your body, everyone is their own worst critic, and Im sure that your probably quite handsome and your just being modest :)
 
Mad4Chillas said:
I tend to eat emotionally as well, most of the time I have the "f*ck it mentality" where if Ive messed up slightly then I just go into binge mode. (I used to have bulimia, so controlling binges for me is actually really hard)
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I have exactly the same problem.
 
**Waves the Emotional Eating Hand Card**

I eat when I want to be reminded of what it was like to be protected and bring back those happy feelings when I was little with my mom.

I eat when I'm lonely, I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am bored, I eat when I am stressed.

I also eat to punish myself. Mentality: Well I will never lose weight and I am just a fat dumb blonde, and since I've not done anything about it. I am bad, so I will make myself eat bad foods, because I deserve it anyways. I haven't done this for quite a few months.
 
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My problem with eating, I believe - stems from the fact that I was in an academically rigorous high school diploma double honors program. It came to consume so much of my time, that I had to quit a lot of my extra curricular activities, which were sports, and a big part of why I didn't have to be concerned about what I ate to maintain a healthy weight. Since I've left sports teams, a lot of my social connections have been cut off, and I haven't made true bonds with anyone at school. I often feel lonely, and when I get stressed out over my academic demands, I eat my favourite foods to help me feel better - which has led me to this.
 
I'm still not 100% on why I have urges to beinge. I will spend a lot of money in a week on cookies and chocolate and pizza if I allow myself. and as 2 people mentioned above, once I start it doesn't stop. there's no enjoying a couple cookies and being satisfied, it's all or nothing. I don't even just initially crave a chocolate bar, I know I want to go to bulk barn and buy $15 in chocolate. I know I can have an addictive and at times self-destructive personality, which is why I'm glad the drugs I would otherwise like have very bad side effects (severe depression, worse than with anyone else I know). and yes when I screw up a little bit I tell myself something to the effect of; there way to screw this day up, might as well write it off and keep going since this is how I do anyways. I'm just never going to be in the shape I want to be. I'll be doing very good and lose weight and then reward myself with SOME junk, which turns into a week long binge and I gain all the weight back. I now realize that until I can become one of those people who can have a bag of cookies in their cupboard for a month, I should just stay away all together.
 
<3summertime:) said:
I'll be doing very good and lose weight and then reward myself with SOME junk, which turns into a week long binge and I gain all the weight back. I now realize that until I can become one of those people who can have a bag of cookies in their cupboard for a month, I should just stay away all together.
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The paaain. I share. Dx

There are some days when I have no compulsions, whatsoever, even if the sweets/whatever are right in front of me, and then bam, one day I'll be craving and searching it like the freakin' world's about to end.
 
I'm trying to balance doing a degree with my job as a care assistant and sometimes, when I have been in work for 8 hours since 7:30am and I know I have to go to the library afterwards to write an essay, I buy crap (usually chocolate, or a slice of cake) to cheer myself up.

When I'm on a schedual like this I don't feel like I have time to cook, although I know I could probabaly make time. But I end up ordering a takeaway instead.

I really wish I didn't take so much comfort from food.
 
I am also an emotional eater.
there's something about food that calms me down- they don't call it comfort food for anything. also I have a strong background of eating as a reward as my parents would buy me ice cream or chocolate when I was feeling sad. I guess I just associate that memory of happiness and being taken care of with sweets.
of course I have to remind myself that a chocolate bar is not my parent and it will not exactly give me advice or hug me.
trying to see food as just that- food, and planing ahead has helped me a lot through the process. I hadn't had a serious binge in a little while now and I am ecstatic about it!
 
I think it is so interesting, and true, that you bring up the feeling guilty for working out. Like you I'm in a graduate program and I also work part time (often full time hours) so I really don't have a lot of extra time in my day. Any extra time I do have I always feel guilty when I don't spend studying and that really hinders my working out plans. I will always tell myself that I will go to the gym after that paper is done, or after that seminar is over or after this busy weekend is up. It's frustrating. I avoid exercise and I over-eat because I have an "all or nothing mentality"; I feel like if every single thing about my life can't be directed in a positive direction towards weight loss there's no point doing anything. Like if I can't go to the gym and work out for 90 minutes, there's no point going at all. And same with food, if I slip up, I just want to keep eating because I feel like there is no point.

I have given up on completely cutting out bad things out of my diet. It's not realistic and given that this is my second time trying to lose the weight because I gained it back, it's obviously not feasible for my lifestyle either. But what I am trying to do is make time for the gym every day. Even if it's only 15 minutes, that's 15 minutes of cardio that I wouldn't get elsewhere. Over the course of a week, that's 1.75 hours of cardio and that's a hell of a lot more than I would be getting with the mentality that "Oh, I don't have time for a long workout so I won't bother." I really need to overcome my psychological issues to be successful this time.
 
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