Story Of Curls

Curls23b

Curls23b

New member
so im going to start a "blog", if you will, i figure it will help to keep me on track if even one person reads this -as i am mortified about the fact that i cant control my weight-- thus i feel like perhaps im reporting to someone if that makes any sense? ill probably wail on about the nonsense in the rest of my life too as its usually what triggers my binges,, even purges every now and again.. which i suppose thats what brings us to telling my weighty history. i was a 13 pound baby so that starts it right there.. i was always the fat kid in school and it was horrible to say the least. at the age of 15.. i started a diet with very good intentions, not to be "skinny" or to fit in just because i knew i would feel better health-wise if i exercised/dieted.. well over the course of a year that snowballed into anorexia/bulimic tedencies but damn did i look good.. im 5'11" (was then too) and about 140 pounds. i remember the exact moment things went down hill, i starved myself for over a year-- purged if i ate more than a yogurt a day and then one day i thought oh what the hell ill have a cheese sandwhich-- well ive been eating obscene amounts of cheese sandwiches ever since.. now im 23 and a whopping 280 pounds. im really just sick of it.. the other day i was walking to work and a consrtuction worked yelled.. "mmmm i like them fatties".. that was it. what the hell? ive come to realise that my weight is the first thing people see, i want them to see me! not fat! and im sick of constantly thinking about how i look-- tugging at my clothes in self-conscious jerks. so im trying, again.... so thats whats going on.. oh yes and ive also become quite promiscuous in a sad effort to validate myself.. so its likely i may speak about some of those encounters as well as they tend to coincide with my disordered eating.....


food:
chicken pattie on wheat
2 slimfasts
toast w/ blackcurrant jam
tea

gym:
20k on bike
 
Dont be mortified at all... Look around you- it's a common problem and you are doing something about it.

If I could put on my Dr Phil (good lord is he annoying, I hope i'm no where near as annoying as he is) hat for a moment and ask what you are doing about your self esteem issues... You have to love yourself.. even at the weight you are at...

What's your plan to get you on the path to a healthier lifestyle?

You've come ot the right place for support and encouragement.. Welcome and how can we help? :D
 
Hello Curls

Just a quick post to say that I'll be checking your diary from time to time. Keep it up, and report everything - including those times when you fall from grace. You certainly can do achieve your targets - and maybe you can learn from your past disorders. My evils were: beer, chocolate digestives, custard tarts, port, crisps, and junk food in general. I consider them to be poison now - a choccy biscuit hasn't past my lips for a long time. Ok, I still have the er ... um, occasional beer, wine, etc, but you have to cut yourself some slack somewhere ... dont you?

Good luck if you needed it - and keep this diary live!
 
Hey we're all here pullin' for you! Please do come here and tell us what's going on in your life...you don't have to do it alone.

*big squishy hug* :)
 
Welcome to the forum curls. You shouldn't be embarrassed about this at all. You should only be proud and take pride in the fact that your doing something to change it. You can do it.
 
Welcome

Hi Curls,

Welcome to the forum, like you I am a new member and I have decided that it is time to pick up my act and loose some weight.

What I find strange is that it often takes a strangers comment to make us do something about our weight. Last year I was sitting at my local shopping centre having some lunch when a lady at the next table said quite loudly, "I can't believe there are so many overweight people here" Now I don't know if she was referring to me or to the other apparently overweight people eating lunch, but that afternoon I went to the gym and ran on the treadmill until I was exhausted. Why did I do it for this lady who I would probably never see again? Why didn't I do it for me?? I am the one that counts!

So this time around, its my new motto. I'm doing it for ME to make ME feel better both physically and psychologically

Take Care,
Laura

P.S Sorry about my long ramble!
 
Hey Curls,

Just wanted to say congrats on taking the first step and encourage you to keep it up. Keep us posted weather its a bad day or good
 
wow i can not believe how supportive and nice the responses were! ive never spoken to anyone about my issues with food and weight. so thank you all so much for not making me feel a fool... so last night i ended up at a party and got pretty stoned.. oops so i suppose i need to figure in the crisps i ate in my haze.. damnit.. thats another thing, the drinking etc needs to stop as not only are there so many calories but prevents me from thinking clearly about the effects of late night chippie etc... but last night i felt a joint was in order as some guy i went home with about 3 weeks ago was there, needed to chill out...anyhow i came home and ate 3 pieces of toast with butter!!!

moving on- today:

-chicken pattie ( oh yes im a vegetarian so when i write this i mean quorn) on a roll
-peanut butter sandwhich
-slimfast
-wheat toast with jam
-banana

i defintely ate way too many carbs- thats purely a result of laziness

i was thinking of posting a picture and just really put everything out there-- no hiding, no denial... but seems my photos are too many bytes? not to mention i dont have one picture where i havent strategically hidden myself behind 3 other people.. fantastic
 
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if you go to - you can download a free utility that will allow you to change the resolution of an image...

In your food journal, to give you some insight into yourself more- you might also want to record what you are feeling at the time you are eating... seems like you, like many of us here, are emotional eaters and it does really give you some info... If you know what triggers something it oftenmakesit easier to correct it.
 
Wow, Maleficent really is good at this! Listen to her.

As for the booze - I am a self confessed boozer. My advice - you dont have to give it up - but if you really want to get better, then learn to cut it down. I reckon that I drink less than half of my old intake - I can still have a good time down the pub, but I drink slower and lighter. The late night chippy - it is evil, let it go - late night starchy carbs = increase in body fat - guaranteed. I used to love a kebab on the way home from the pub - but now I drink less at the pub (dont get me wrong, I do drink), and stuff that kebab - its home for me and if I need a late snack then its proteins over carbs at that time of night ... Yoghurt Hmmmm....
 
Hi Curls, Welcome.

I would like to make the suggestion that you do your shopping one day a week or two and prepare things that can be heated up that are healthy. It also helps me to make up bags of healthy snacks to take to work or whatever so if I find my self in a bind or too tired to think about what to eat, I can just grab something that is good for me.

Good Luck with your goals.
 
Hey Curls,

Don't think anything more off the "binge", like you wrote afterwards: moving on. Key words, we are in it for the long hall. Anyway I was just chekking up on you, Hope you are well:)
 
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