storm_knight's journal (because diarys are for girl =p)

Ugh!

I talked to my grandfather about all this for a couple hours. I'll never understand him. Just because he was able to raise a family on minimum wage way back when he thinks it's possible to go through life making $6 an hour now a days. He does this every time I bring up the idea of going back to school. I'm tempted just to apply by myself and pray I get the loan but then that will probably only make matters worse.
 
Do it, nothing can stop you if you really want it.... be persistent and be obnoxious... do whatever you have to get closer to your dream!!!
 
The hard part is that if I do this "behind his back" not only will I get higher interest rates but I'll have to take out another supplemental student loan and it will probably piss him off something fierce. I'll try talking to him some more before I just do everything myself. I really want him involved in my life, especially big decisions like this.

It just pisses me off when I talk about going to school for anything he says I just need to get my foot in the door at some company and work my way up and that there isn't even a guaranteed job after I graduate. Hell... it's not like I'm asking for his financial help for 4-6 years. I'm talking about three months! Three months of flying every day and studying my ass off will get my all the licenses I need to start working at a commercial airline (depending on how many flight hours the particular airline wants for applicants).
 
Keep thinking like you are and figuring out your argument logically. Then speak to him again and really try to GET THROUGH to him. Good luck man!
 
I need to get my ass back in gear. I haven't worked out the last 5 days. I have still been watching what I eat though. I think the main reason is that it's been between 103 and 112 degrees here the last week or so and my house only has a shitty old swamp cooler. So inside the house it's in the 90's. So it's hard for me to get motivated to work out when I'm laying on the couch sweating like I'm in the middle of a desert.

I'm still having problems sleeping. I think the heat has something to do with it. I've also been really stressed out and pissed off lately too which can't help things at all.
 
Ugh... so I haven't worked out for a whole week. X_X I have still been watching what I eat. Today I went out with some friends. I over did it on calories from all the beer but we had fun. We went on an art walk in downtown. I ended up running into a girl I have a history with and I was able to get some closure so now I think that I'm finally over her.

The trouble sleeping is still around though. I've been up for 36 hours. Every time I lay down to sleep I just can't. I don't know why.
 
Not much changed. I finally got some sleep though. Too bad I fell asleep at 10ish am and woke up at 3pm. Now my sleep schedule will be all screwed up. Tomorrow will be cooler so hopefully it's cool enough to exercise.

The last week or so my body has just felt worn out and sore. I don't know why since I haven't done much physical activity at all.

I"m still stressed about finding a job and this lawsuit. I hope that I can find something soon...
 
Well, if nothing else, just make it your goal this week to get in 10 minutes of exercise each day...

SERIOUSLY! any bit helps!
 
I finally broke my streak and got off my lazy ass and worked out for 20 minutes... which was hard with all the E3 coverage that's on tv and flying around the internet to try to keep up with.

I got pretty winded doing 20 minutes so I stopped early. Tomorrow I'll shoot for 40.
 
I put my 40 minutes in like I said I would. I was able to keep my energy up through most of it and felt pretty damn good afterwords. I'm looking forward to some more tomorrow.

Lots of bad thoughts going through my mind today. The major one is that I feel out of place around my friends now. I don't get to see them but once a month or so instead of a couple times a week, at least, like I used to because of my financial situation. So when I do go out with them they have all new friends and stories that I'm not involved in and I'm kind of the guy that's just there and not really part of the group. I hate it!
 
Aww, I know what you mean... surely some of your friends are cash strapped too... try organise more things with THEM, they'll be grateful too :p

Ye, I must say you were sounding pretty depressed the whole last week without your exercise. Well done, you did good! Use it as motivation to not stop again!
 
Well I went for an hour today and I'm pretty beat. I have seen that I've been in a better mood since I started working out again. Unfortunately I still have some nagging issues swirling around in my head.
 
So I didn't do anything today except for sleep. I slept for about 16 hours today and I just woke up a couple minutes ago, still tired. I'm about to go lay down and sleep some more. I guess my body needs it.
 
Well since I've been sleeping A LOT the last couple days I only got 20 minutes in yesterday but so far I've gotten 20 in today and hoping to do a lot more later today.
 
Well I put another 40 in for a total of an hour today. I might do some more after I get done watching the UFC fights. It all depends on if I still feel worn out or not.

I still have all the bad thoughts haunting me. I can't seem to shake them. I just feel like my friends are moving on without me and I'm getting left behind by myself. It sucks and really gets me down.
 
I know it's difficult to deal with, but sometimes friends DO move on without you... people drift... maybe it's time for a fresh start?
 
I haven't been around lately since I've been helping out my grandfather. I've been keeping up with my diet and somewhat with my exercise. I reached my first goal of losing 20lbs though! /me is proud of his ticker in his sig now.
 
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