Still Scared

[smallkisses]

I have been overweight my entire life and morbidly obese all of my adult life. I have tried diets, tried eating healthy and excercise. I am afraid to let myself succeed. I need help, but I'm always afraid to ask. I love my friends and i know they would give me the support I need, but I am too busy sabatoging myself to really give myself a chance. I had a party last week, and after seeing the photos I cried. It's gotten that bad. I don't feel sexy, even though my boyfriend says I am. I always feel like he is just trying to make me feel better. I have really bad body image issues that I do my best to hide, but I feel he deserves better. I am afriad of getting sick, but I am not so worried that I actually try to loose the weight. I make excuses, I have an addictive personality, but my only drug is sugar. I eat chocolate, and I hide my eating habits, even from people I love. I want to make a change, but I'm not sure I know how. I know I rambled a bit, but I am hoping I can find the help I need on this forum. I am at my heaviest now, than I can ever remember being, and I wanted to share with you, the pictures I was talking about.

 

[ali2]

First thing - take a deep breath.

You can do this. What you are going to read around here is that it starts with a small change. Pick one thing you do that you know is contributing to your weight and change it. If it is soda, eliminate it. If it is a lack of exercise, start with something easy and start doing it. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Read around the stickied threads, there is some really great advice there about nutrition and exercise and there are really great people here willing to give advice and support.

Take an honest look at yourself and if you are really ready to make the change, make one and when you have master that one, make another.

Good Luck!

 

[veronandez86]

Smallkisses,

Calm down a bit Hun, it may take time but I know you can succeed at this new attempt of starting to lose weight. First off, congratulations on joining this site, I definitely know that there are tons of people on here who are willing to offer help / advice / inspiration / and whatnot, without you even asking for it.

I know it might be hard to lose all the weight, especially if you are like me and want to see results right away. However, I’ve learned that if you set mini weight loss goals of 5 pounds or so, it will be easier to succeed. Also, I think that by doing small weight loss goals, it will be a bit harder to sabotage yourself. I know you can lose 5 pounds easily and sometimes when we see our huge goal of 50 or more pounds, we get intimidated and give up.

I think that you are so brave to put up photos of yourself now. I have photos of myself, in my diary, up on this website too (as well as in my room) and I look at them now and again to motivate myself to keep moving forward and not give up.

Sugar is your poison, same for me. I dislike chocolate, but I’m a Kool-Aid freak! So, I know it might be hard to give up the thing you love, but instead of cutting it out completely, just limit yourself to half of what you consume in a day. I think that just a little bit of cutting back will do wonders right now… then eventually you can cut it out completely and only treat yourself to it once a week or what not.

Anyway, starting a diary is always a good move on here. You can right down all your feelings and it’s amazing how many people feel the way you do and how many can help cheer you up and keep inspiring you to go on through their stories. Best of Luck.

Take care Hun.
Veronica

 

[Kayleena8989]

Your not alone

I have been overweight my entire life and morbidly obese all of my adult life. I have tried diets, tried eating healthy and excercise. I am afraid to let myself succeed. I need help, but I'm always afraid to ask. I love my friends and i know they would give me the support I need, but I am too busy sabatoging myself to really give myself a chance. I had a party last week, and after seeing the photos I cried. It's gotten that bad. I don't feel sexy, even though my boyfriend says I am. I always feel like he is just trying to make me feel better. I have really bad body image issues that I do my best to hide, but I feel he deserves better. I am afriad of getting sick, but I am not so worried that I actually try to loose the weight. I make excuses, I have an addictive personality, but my only drug is sugar. I eat chocolate, and I hide my eating habits, even from people I love. I want to make a change, but I'm not sure I know how. I know I rambled a bit, but I am hoping I can find the help I need on this forum. I am at my heaviest now, than I can ever remember being, and I wanted to share with you, the pictures I was talking about.

Hey, Like you i have been over weight my whole life too. It started off in about 5th grade only being 10 or 15 pounds bigger than everyone but as the years grew I grew bigger and bigger. it seems like every year i gain about 30 pounds.Just recently I had the picture scare too. I didnt even reconize my self in the picture and the hardest part was i couldnt blame it on the picture or a bad angle because everyone else in the picture looked the same. Im tired of hating myself and Not feeling like im sexy enough or good enough for people. I find myself skiping hangouts because im nervous of seeing people and worried if i run into someone that i havent seen in awhile and they will see all the weight i have gained. I want to be able to go out and swim or wear a pair of shorts or a revealing shirt without feeling discusting,I just found this forum,. Im not really sure how you use it or anything but everyone on here seems to be so supportive. I think that you can do this. Your very pretty and if loosing a weight will give you the confidence that I know will give me then go for it. Im Starting my diet now... Im not really sure how to diet since ive never really stuck to one but Im going to eat healthy foods and less calories and try to exercise. Your not alone. Im in the same boat as you and if you ever need some support or you find a really good exercise or diet you can talk to me anytime!

~Much Support~kayleena

 

[foreveryoung]

hey welcome on board and first off well done for posting pictures - ive lost most of the weight i want and am still apathetic about postiing pics!

you ask how it can be done - this answer comes from within yourself. obvisouly your mind is beginning to wake up to all the abuses (sugar) an now you wanna do something about it right?

well ill tell ya, sugar cravings are hard to kick BUT there are ALWAYS ways around it. i was a self confessed sugar junkie, i still am, i just get my hits from natual sugar now

one thing ill tell ya, its not fast and no it is not easy. please dont think the weight will drop off in no time, as it wont. its taken your whole life to get there after all! just keep your mind strong, stay determined, be realistic in your goals and seek help and support if your feeling doubt or confusion. i found it difficult turning to my real-life freinds for help - and i didnt. i found these guys online, and although i dont come on here too often i realised that even if help comes annonymously, its a lifeline that can pull you out of darker times.

a good way to start is really evaluate your diet and excercise. do you excercise often? what do you do? and about your eating, how, when and WHY do you eat? is it boredom? habbit? find out the bad patterns and begin to cut them out. STOP BUYING CHOCOLATE yes i know its hard, But, shop in the same supermarket, learn where the sweeties are and dont go down that isle. thats what i did for 4 months and now ive pretty much kicked my refined sugar addiction.

 

[heathercb04]

Smallkisses,

I was horribly anxious and scared to even think about changing the way I eat and the way I exercise - and still am, sometimes! One thing I highly recommend is make yourself a list of goals. Start from the smallest thing you can think of - one of mine was that I wanted to make dinner for myself at least 5 out of 7 nights a week, and to pack my lunch every day. Then up to my biggest goal - to be a size 12 or 10 wedding dress by my wedding in May of '09. Writing all of those out was scary, but at the same time it helped me to kinda sort things out and start to do them a little bit at a time. It was the not rushing that helped me get over my anxiety.

Not everyone is able to do this, but I highly recommend seeing a nutritionist and/or a therapist. It's super important to be able to connect your emotional status to your physical status, and it's always nice to have someone who is in your corner supporting you!! (ie. therapist)

Make a diary, too! It's helpful because you are really able to get out your feelings surrounding food and your decision to make a healthy change.

It's not going to be overnight. It's a process. And it's one that needs a lot of self-love to back it up. You can do it! And there are tons of people around who are more than willing to help you.

 

[nataliejo]

I have been overweight my entire life and morbidly obese all of my adult life. I have tried diets, tried eating healthy and excercise. I am afraid to let myself succeed. I need help, but I'm always afraid to ask. I love my friends and i know they would give me the support I need, but I am too busy sabatoging myself to really give myself a chance. I had a party last week, and after seeing the photos I cried. It's gotten that bad. I don't feel sexy, even though my boyfriend says I am. I always feel like he is just trying to make me feel better. I have really bad body image issues that I do my best to hide, but I feel he deserves better. I am afriad of getting sick, but I am not so worried that I actually try to loose the weight. I make excuses, I have an addictive personality, but my only drug is sugar. I eat chocolate, and I hide my eating habits, even from people I love. I want to make a change, but I'm not sure I know how. I know I rambled a bit, but I am hoping I can find the help I need on this forum. I am at my heaviest now, than I can ever remember being, and I wanted to share with you, the pictures I was talking about.

Hello hun...

I am a food addict and am reading a book called "Conquering your food addiction"
its hard, but it can be done...

I know your scared.. I was scared I would never be able to do it .. I have lost 42 pounds so far .. I weighed 320 pounds ..
You can do this hun ..there is no doubt in my mind ..

I was scared...
my bf told me I was fat and unattractive, among other things..
so you have a good man hun ...
he sounds very supportive
its all good

Start a diary and you will recieve so much support and help
read the sticky threads ...
and we will all check on you
and as Ali said .."take a deep breathe"

ttylater hun
natalie jo

 

[saintjilly]

Hi Smallkisses, Well done for making the first step by admitting to yourself that you have a problem that is not just food..but fear!! Wow you are brave to post photos of yourself straightaway..that does not look like the actions of a scaredycat to me!! You will find all the support in the world on here. Everyone either IS or HAS been in the same boat as yourself. You have so much going for you, you are young & you are very pretty...all you need to do is start with small changes...you have to believe you can do it..and there is no reason why you can't. Don't deprive yourself of anything...reduce the amount you eat by a third or half...and identify rewards for each stage of success. You say you are afraid of losing the weight...well try to work out what it is that scares you and then bring those fears here...someone will have had the same fear and will always be ready to help. Good Luck, 1st step taken..now take each day at a time...

 

[saintjilly]

PS Forgot to mention 12months ago I was also over 300lbs. I set myself a target of 1lb a week average for each 12months...easy peasy!!! You just wait & see!!!

 

[smallkisses]

Thank you

First I wanted to say thank you to everyone for their kind words. I am a very emotional person and I cry pretty easily, so its safe to say I was sobbing by the time I finished reading these replies. When I first started dating Bryan I told him I wanted to lose weight before I got married, and now that we have been together a while, we have been talking about marriage. He is holding me to the promise I made to myself a long time ago. I want to be a beautiful bride, but I can't find the motivation I need. The fact that I just sat here feeling sorry for myself should be motivation enough, but it's not. I have tried buying clothes that I can't wear, and tried rewarding myself for hitting small goals. I am an all or nothing kind of person. If I were addicted to drugs I could cut myself off and walk away, but how do you walk away from food when you need it to survive? Any suggestions that anyone has would be amazing. I am exhausted and I need to go to bed, work early in morning.

 

[nataliejo]

First I wanted to say thank you to everyone for their kind words. I am a very emotional person and I cry pretty easily, so its safe to say I was sobbing by the time I finished reading these replies. When I first started dating Bryan I told him I wanted to lose weight before I got married, and now that we have been together a while, we have been talking about marriage. He is holding me to the promise I made to myself a long time ago. I want to be a beautiful bride, but I can't find the motivation I need. The fact that I just sat here feeling sorry for myself should be motivation enough, but it's not. I have tried buying clothes that I can't wear, and tried rewarding myself for hitting small goals. I am an all or nothing kind of person. If I were addicted to drugs I could cut myself off and walk away, but how do you walk away from food when you need it to survive? Any suggestions that anyone has would be amazing. I am exhausted and I need to go to bed, work early in morning.

Thats actually the same thing she said in her book ..how do you become unaddicted to something you have to have, except less of and she does explain how ..its very complicated .. I would suggest the book to you ...
you can get it off the barnes n noble site ..

I will get it for you and put it on here ok

ttylater
natalie jo