Staying positive -- how do you do it?

[challenged]

I have had a lot of internal struggles even more so now that I have started to lose weight, and I want to know if anyone else has these same kinds of feelings.

I know that I should be excited and happy about losing weight; I have lost 11 pounds so far. And when people tell me "I can tell you've lost weight," my snappy reply is always "11 pounds doesn't mean anything when you start out 50 pounds overweight." I don't feel accomplished, or any better about myself. I don't feel like 11 measly pounds is progress.

And even when I lose more weight and actually start to look thinner, all I can think about is all the mean comments that will come with it. Of course no one told me I looked fat or gross before, but I keep thinking about the comments like, "You look great now, but wow, you really looked awful before!" that will surely come. I don't know why people think those kinds of comments are helpful but they're not, and they're not harmless either. And I dread hearing them.

Does anyone else feel this kind of negativity and these internal self-esteem struggles? What do you do to fight them off? Because I sure am bringing myself down thinking this way.

 

[Ando3242]

I had a major problem with my weight in high school. As you can imagine how much ridicule the "fat kid" gets at school. I was also depressed and thought maybe my weight and ridicule was effecting my self esteem.

One day I decided I was sick of being overweight and then started doing something about it. I would push myself to do 30 minutes of cardio everyday and I ate about 1200-1500 calories of healthy food daily. 4 or 5 months later I was down 50 pounds. But, ironically enough I went from being picked on for being fat to being picked on for being on the scrawny side. I also noticed people would question my manliness when I would drink diet soda and eat salads. You simply cannot win. I also realized that I was still depressed even though I had lost the weight.

I also know about the "compliments". "You look so great!" You've lost so much weight!"....so I was fat and disgusting before hand and you just never told me about it?

This is about when I realized I shouldn't be doing this for other people, I'm doing it for myself. I learned to not give a crap about people's shallow comments. Once I embraced this philosophy I became overall happier and my self esteem rose. It wasn't simply because I lost weight, it was a whole new outlook.

 

[FatBlokeSlim]

I know what you mean about the comments saying "you look much better now you have lost weight" and thinking "I wish you had told me what I fat bastard I was" but at the end of the day my size was my fault, not my friends or colleagues or any body elses. I dont have a medical condition that makes me fat - I ate and drank too much and sat on my lardy arse for years.

I know I was close to being morbidly obese, and know I am still obese - no point pretending otherwise, and no point me blaming other people.

Nobody has forced me to eat or drink the way I did for the last 25 years

Having said that, I do not beat myself up about what has happened, because I can't alter history. I can, however, control my own future. I do know that I look better now I have lost 50lbs than I did before - I also know I will look significantly better when I have lost another 50lbs!

Only 2 people see me naked - my wife, and myself - so her comments on the way I look are the only ones I care about