It has been so long since I've posted. So much has changed! I think I will break it down...
-I hit 188 in August of 2012. That was a 100lbs weight loss!
-At that time, I moved from 3rd shift to 2nd shift. This was the reason for my disappearance from the board. That job ate my life. I couldn't go to the gym anymore, I wasn't really watching my calories. I still stayed between 188 and 190, but I wasn't as hard core about losing weight at that point.
-In August of 2012, I became pregnant. My boyfriend was living in Illinois and I was in Kentucky. He had also been told that he could never have kids, due to the radiation treatments he had endured while having cancer. SO...this was a HUGE thing.
-After dating for almost a year and a half, with 250 miles between us, I moved back home to Illinois to be with him in November 2012. It was a hard decision to leave Kentucky, because I had changed SO much while living there, but it was the right decision. My 5 year old daughter needed to be around her extended family, I needed to be near my 11 year old son(who lives with his dad in Illinois,) and I needed to be with my boyfriend.
-I was suppose to start a job within a few weeks of moving back, but they kind of screwed me over. I started stressing about money. The boyfriend has a good job, but our car payments suck. I went from working 100-120 hours every two weeks, to staying at home full time. When I moved back, I was 195.
-I finally got a job in January. It's part time, which is kind of a nice thing.
-At my first doctor's visit, on December 17th, I weighed 211 at the office. Hm. I decided to start using myfitnesspal to track my calories and try to fix that.
-On January 17th, I weighed 201 at my doctor's visit. They were shocked, and I was elated.
-I started to seriously slack off. I have been stressed because I didn't want to lose my car. I didn't want my phone to get shut off. I began to eat. I tried watching the calories, but I was lazy about it.
-The doctor found a bright spot on the baby's heart, so we have had several ultrasounds to make sure she is okay. I have been extremely stressed about this. We finally found out this past Tuesday, that the baby is just fine, and that the spot is nothing.
-Last week, my boyfriend became my fiance.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. /sigh
-Today, I weighed 215. That is a 14lbs gain in 3 weeks. 14. The doctor didn't even mention it. The last time I had an appointment with her, before this pregnancy, I was 275. I think she's glad that I'm not that heavy anymore.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant and have gained about 25lbs. I have mixed feelings about this. I have 14(almost 13) weeks to go. That's not a lot. In my first pregnancy, I gained 60lbs. With my second, I gained about 50-60. Right now, I've only gained 25lbs. I'm disappointed in myself for not being more diligent, but I know that I can fix it.
It's just
so hard.
I am hungry ALL of the time. Our finances are still weak, so it's not as easy to get the healthy foods that I was eating when I was making more money. It's not easy, but not
impossible.
I CAN do it...I just need to do it.
That's why I'm back here. I need to start logging my feelings. I need to start really holding myself accountable again. I need to go back to the beginning, and start exactly the way I started when I began my journey.
I refuse to gain any more weight. If I eat a healthy diet, I can help my baby grow, while losing fat. I will not starve myself, but I won't "eat for two." This isn't a time to just indulge in every little craving. Up until 3 weeks ago, I didn't indulge. I was doing well. I just...lost myself. I can't do that again.
SO...here I am.
And just to give an idea of where I was...
Between 300 and 288lbs....
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195lbs/17 weeks pregnant and 205lbs/24 weeks pregnant.
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What really sucks is that when I weighed myself at home this morning, I was 210. I went to the doctor and there was a 5lbs difference. Either way, I need to really buckle down!
Glad to be back!! <3