Start again.. start again.. start again... always keep trying

R

rainyforest138

New member
Back to the start again.... because I have junk food relapses and quit for awhile and then get hit with the feeling like fat crappy feeling and ...start again... so here I am to start again. I do keep trying and have been for years and 2 summers ago it actually worked and I lost 50lbs. Did this by Quiting junk and counting calories. Problem is junk food relapses... while I was losing I counted each junk serving so that a relapse was oops one serving not oops might as well take a whole day then my body is hooked back on junk again. Then as time goes by like right now I'm totally back in the eating sugar habit and it takes awhile to go off it and longer to stop craving it. When I was off it for a long period before I actually did completely stop craving it after not having it for so long... so I know where I need to be.. OFF Sugar and Junky Carbs.... so here I go again again again!!!!
 
Good job on a successful calorie day! :) Is that your dog in your pic? I've got one that looks just like him!


Keep up the good work!
 
thanks ;) I don't have the dog anymore... just used a cute pic that happened to be on the computer already because I didn't feel like uploading one.
 
Saturday exercise: 100crunches, 50kickbacks, 25push-ups, 25 backarm push-ups


Sunday:

bran flakes, milk 300

sandwich 250

yogurt 100

seeds, candy cane 150

sandwich 350

apple, granola 200

(1450)

exercise: Jog 15min.


Monday:

(1500)


Tuesday:

Not so good, husband brought home Chips Ahoy and I had about 12, so at about 50calories apiece this is bad! 600 extra calories and does nothing to fill my stomach. About (2050) calories today.
 
Don't know how you can eat bran flakes haha. I never feel like eating in the morning but bran flakes would be at the bottom of my list. :p


Keep at it!
 
Friday:


Today was my weigh day and it showed 4lbs down! But it is really probably 2 because I weighed in the evening last Friday when I started, and I will actually do morning weigh ins so did morning weight today. It moved down so that is great! And lower than it has in a long time. Today I started out good and got weak in the evening. Ended up with more calories than my cookie day although what I ate was not as bad.


cereal, milk 350

french toast, egg 375

yogurt 90

candy 75

tacos 500

(could have been a great day if I stopped here after dinner at 1400calories)

but....

chips 125

cereal 300

pizza 300

jello salad 125


(2250)


Note to self- don't go to your mom's in the evenings! You are weak in the evening and she always has junk around!

So yeah I don't usually have pizza and cookies and chips at home, I have to keep it out of my house because I will eat it. I'm usually ok during the day but at night I can get out of hand, so I try to keep it unavailable. My mom watched my kids last night, she does a lot, and she always has something good lying around her kitchen, the first room I see when walking into her house. So I guess reflecting here on this has been good because a solution might be Don't go there past dinner. I was thinking I could plan I will not eat when I walk in, but I think I had that in mind last night and did anyway...
 
I love the little ticker thing btw. Found link in somebody elses journal made myself one and I think its pretty cool. I used the snowflakey one because I was thinking I could get to my goal weight this winter... sometime before the end of winter. If I stay focused and stop doing the on again off again there's no reason I can't lose 12lbs by March. That is not going fast but also not just slacking off on it. Basically about 1lb p/wk to be there before March. I can do this... and hopefully even before then 2lbs a wk would be awesome. I do have other started journals on here but because of off again on again I started a new one because I want to stay on this time and post calories everyday. So far I have, even though they are not all in the calorie range I hoped for at least I'm still looking at what I'm doing.


So a little about me... I am 32 have 4kids.... and I'm 5'4. I have always struggled watching my weight, addicted to junk food, and have been overweight since 2000, after my second child. Since my last child in Jan.2007... I could not get under 170, and, I actually got up to 182 before I got serious about losing the weight May 2009. That summer I lost almost 50lbs putting me down to 133 which I hadn't been since sometime as a teenager. So eventually I stopped counting started slacking and eating some junk again.... and since then have gained back about 20lbs. My primary goal is to be able to maintain under 140, and right around 135. I was exercising a lot when I was 170, I always went to the gym and got on the ellipticals and did weights..... It was not working and never would without counting my calories. I stopped the gym (it's not close to home). Started counting. That's what worked. I actually wasn't exercising a lot when I was losing, I took walks but other than that it was all about counting. Of course toning up becomes important, but exercising doesn't really allow us many extra calories, so for loss it is more about eating less. Also I have quit drive through fast food since May 2009, I feel good that I have stayed consistent on that... there is really no reason I ever need that kind of food. There are always foods I can pack or stop and buy on the road that are healthy... don't need drive throughs!


I have been exercising more now, and can actually maintain a jog now for more than a few min. at a time! And I have never been able to do more than about 5 pushups, maybe 10 pushing it, at one time, in my life. Now I can do sets of 25, and even did 100 one night. Wow, never thought I could do that. Anyway it's a journey, always learning better ways to stay healthy, that I know I can never quit just because I get to a desired healthy weight. I will always have to work to be healthy. I plan to enroll to work on my master's degree soon and am afraid to even start if I don't have my weight and eating under control because as most of us know our weight and eating habits can get let go when we are busy studying... I don't want this to happened I have worked too hard.
 
Sunday:


french toast, egg, bacon 480

applesauce 120

chicken, potatoes, salad 530

candy 45


(1175)


exercise: 1.5mile jog

(after reading forum for awile You all so motivate me, I decided to get in some more exercise!!!)


25push-ups, 25 drops?/ backarm pushups, 150 crunches, 75squats, 30 lunges
 
Wow, I thought I slacked off for a few days, but looks like I slacked since Sunday....... Well I guess I'm just lucky there was no gain. No loss but no gain either so I guess I don't get to change the ticker. Well starting a new week hopefully this one will be better.... will get back to posting calories tomorrow.
 
So right now kinda sucks... I think I lost my phone at walmart :mad:. Struggling with food, got in exercise today though. It was very hard to feel like jogging, I've been sick with a chest cold and I felt like jogging in the cold made it worse, but since I have no treadmill I'd better get out there anyway. Being sick i took enough days off exercise... so I got out there and as always felt better getting some exercise and fresh air (although cold). It was harder though.. cold or too long a break I don't know.


I just feel like being a piggy. I messed up the other day. Feeling like my kids deserve a junky snack sometimes because I hardly ever buy it for the house... I bought cheetos and cookies (while out grocery shopping for other healthier foods). I can't have it around me because I end up eating it and I did. So now I'm having a harder day since I had junk yesterday.


Today though I stayed good when my daughter was bugging me to stop for fast food. I quit fast food in May 2009, when I finally got serious and started really losing weight. Now I am against even driving through one for someone else, but people ask anyway. My teenage daughter was really bugging for it today. I started to say maybe she could just walk in and buy some, but then thought no I don't even want it in my vehicle. I felt bad like I was just being anal or uppity about the healthy eating, but at the same time I felt really good that here is one thing that I can and do now consistantly say no to. This moral of mine is important to me and I will not break it just because someone else has a craving because my idea is we will not starve without takeout and there are always better foods we can grab.


Got in 1.5 mile jog


and food:


shredded wheat, ff milk 340

salad, avocado, ww bread 400

granola bar, yogurt 270

mints 100

chicken, potatoes 600


hopefully can handle not eating more tonight... (the dinner was probably the equivelent of 2 medium potatoes, and one chicken leg, didn't eat the skin, but the potatoes were baked in the juice/fat from the chicken...... so I thought the potatoes total about 400 and the chicken leg 175, and 25 light ranch. does this sound about right?)

1710.... pigged out at dinner, the calories my best guess, are too high for me to lose, and I still feel like eating:svengo:
 
Hi rainy! Hope you start feeling better soon! :)


These damn colds have really become quite the thing on this forum. Everyday, I seem to be reading about someone either recovering, or starting to feel the effects of one :\


Don't let that be an excuse to be a little piggy tho! No no! Yes, the priority is your health and feeling better so you can resume your regimen, but binging out or giving up on all your willpower is not the best option. The best thing to do is limit your exercise (depending on how badly you feel), and still watching your calories as best you can.
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Also, well done on resisting the fast food and keeping your kids from it! That stuff is just, really.. no good. Maybe a cheat, but to substitute it as an actual meal when you could have something that isn't filled with fat/grease/whatever is just not good :(


Don't feel bad about saying no to that either! You're being a good parent!
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As for temptations in the evening hours, have you considered gum? I'm pretty vocal about it because it really has saved me from making poor choices! It's pretty much on the top of my list of weight loss items.
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Anyway, keep up the great work, rainy! Nicely done with that 1.5 mile jog!


Hopefully your cold goes away quickly - take your vitamins and drink plenty of water! :biggrin:
 
Well embarrased to admit I did eat cookies last night.... maybe 400 calories worth! duh! But today went a lot better
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. I went to my mom's and got on the treadmill to avoid the cold on my chest... this time I really got to sweat; her treadmill is right next to her high heat pellet stove!! But I got the exercise yeaah. I actually stayed off the junk today woohoo!!! When I eat any junk it's a total problem because I crave it more after eating it. It is hard to stop and it seems I have to ween by eating less sugar each day untill I can control myself and not eat it. The less sugar I eat one day the less the craving or If I eat more one day I crave it more the next. A craving literally like an addict all cares go out the window and I blindly go after the sugar.


Tonight my mom made me expresso and I sucked it down and I don't think I could handle the sugar after that caffine jolt anyway. I don't usually do much coffee at night and expresso I don't really do much at all anymore. I pretty much quit anything but plain black coffee since changing my eating because I have to stay away from all the chocolate and whip cream, so I usually just do black drip. My mom's coffee flavors are sugar free and she put light whip cream on it and blended so it was like an after dinner milk shake (actually very little milk) not tons of calories..... but hanging out with her today I got all caffineated...


Frogged, Thanks so much for your support, it means a lot. Like everyone says on here (I am repeating), but you are very much an inspiration. I read your stuff and it makes me want to get on the treadmill, and pay better attention to my food. Really so glad you are here, you kept me reading when I found this forum. And yes I will try the gum. I think I will try putting it in the kitchen, and chewing it after dinner every night, since this is when I usually have problems. I have a hard time resisting eating after dinner... although when I was doing great losing in the past I actually did get used to dinner being the last thing I ate, I was very comfortable with it.... until I slipped back into old bad habits.


Transitioning into maintnance was very hard because I didn't know how to eat (or maybe it was controlling myself; If I let myself have anything I would screw it up) if it wasn't my regular counting and routine foods that I ate for weight loss.. I didn't know how to stop counting without gaining. At first I kept losing without counting just because I kept eating my weight loss routine.. I did about the same thing most days and didn't really know how to eat so good after starting to eat more variety. Once I started to give myself more choices I kinda started to lose control again. Now I'm really trying to have good habits while having lots of choices....


Random rambling, (maybe the caffine) but I actually hate going out to eat now. When I got to the weight I wanted to be and started eating more choices again I was like woohoo I can go out and order something with calories, hamburger, chinese, mexican (of course not all the time but I was kinda in the clear where I could proceed with caution and eat something again).... but when I need to lose.... no way. My husband thinks he's gonna do something nice and take me out... I actually get irritated. I want to go out and enjoy time with him, maybe even a nice meal, but I don't want to go out for diet food. I make that all the time at home. It just isn't a treat to me so I get annoyed if he wants to take me to eat when I can't afford to eat the calories. I mean healthy food is good I do enjoy it but come on I eat it all the time at home.... Anyway just a weight loss thing that he doesn't really understand and I think it frustrates him sometimes, but ramble ramble....... So I guess I should get it together and do great with my calories most days so I could afford a heavy calorie night out once in awhile... ramble ramble


Todays food:


french toast w/jelly 340

yogurt, orange 140

veggies w/alfredo, fish 150

coffee w/light whip cream 100

salad, potatoe, shrimp 200

coffee w/light cream 100

nutrigrain bar 120

cereal, milk 250


(1400) 1.75 mile jog
 
Here is my ticker showing where I actually started in May 2009. I got to the goal.. gained some back... and now I'm heading back to the goal. The other ticker shows my renewed start and goal, but this one shows where I actually started my journey.


I just wanted to remind myself where I started, and although I still struggle I have come a long way toward changing a lot of bad habits... and still have a lot to change. My journey shows me that although losing weight is hard, it is only a fraction of the work to be done. After losing the weight I still had too many habits that needed to change, and I will always have to work on my habits, even if at my goal weight. Things like the pig out fest coming Nov. 24th. This holiday is one of many that I learned to enjoy pigging out rather than find what else is special in the holiday. I want to learn how to have special days and find enjoyment without junkfood, and be completely content not feeling like I'm missing something if I have holidays without junk. Could I actually do that, I'm not sure, I feel like food is huge....... especially at Thanksgiving
 
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