Squeak's Diary

Thanks, photo! I read some similar stuff; of particular interest was a note that some of your daily water intake actually comes from the food you eat. So I've mostly just been drinking when I feel thirsty (learning to distinguish hunger from thirst has been an interesting study) and watching my urine as best I can with the toilet water being blue (ha!). I've found a pretty good balance and have learned to stop drinking water about 2 hours before bedtime so I don't have to pee in the middle of the night. :)
 
squeak said:
I've found a pretty good balance and have learned to stop drinking water about 2 hours before bedtime so I don't have to pee in the middle of the night. :)
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Heh, Once I start drinking water, I can't stop. I crave it and it's so vicious.. I wake up at night to go potty.. damn the water. heh.
 
It's hard to start drinking it but when you do, you can't stop! I agree with photocrazed, it is so viciosly addictive! :)
 
Today is not the best of days so far. :banghead:

A call from the doctor's office first thing in the morning is rarely a good thing, and this time it meant that my test results are in and I might have to have my gallbladder removed. Yay. Have a consultation with a surgeon on Thursday, I'm sure you can imagine how much I'm looking forward to that. On the one hand... having said gallbladder out will mean the end of some symptoms I have been having for months that I didn't learn until recently could be attributed to gallstones. That's good. The thought of going in for surgery though... terrifying.

Blood test results were also in, my blood sugar is up and my doctor continues to push the 60g net carb diet plan. I told the nurse that I was concerned about cholesterol and that lowering carbs would mean increasing protein/fat. Her response? Lowering carbs doesn't have to mean increasing protein. Ok, that's true. But lowering carbs by over 50% does change my calorie intake a bit, if I don't replace it with *something* I'm just going to make myself ill. >.< So.. back to the drawing board, so to speak.

In other news, last night my husband reported that he's lost 14 lbs since the last time he weighed (which was probably a couple months ago) and that he was sure it was in part due to my healthy food kick forcing him to eat more balanced dinners. So I'm happy for him. Which is good, because other than that I don't have a lot to be happy about today. :(

Ok, so that's not true. I'm sure if I thought about it I have lots of things to be happy about. I have a job, even though I may not like it much. I have a roof over my head, and I'm not strapped for cash. I'm loved. I can dance, if I want to. (I can leave my cares behind... 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well they're no friends of mine...)

Ok, now I have Men at Work stuck in my head. At least I'll be toe-tapping my way through moodiness today. :)

Breakfast: Cheerios & blueberry yogurt.
Lunch: Grilled chicken breast + salad.
Snack: Apple.
Dinner: ??? (Friday used to be grocery day. Now it's 'put off groceries until Saturday' day. >.> I have a steak in the fridge I could make, but I don't think it would serve two.)
 
I'm sorry to hear about your medical complications, Squeak. My mom had her gall bladder removed quite a few years ago, it's not an easy process. I'll be praying for you!

I think at times, when we're all drowning in self-doubt and frustration, we have to think about what we're blessed to have. You're totally right. I find it hard to do sometimes, but after I consider how terrible being without the things I need most is, I feel better.

We just have to keeping smiling at the thought of being alive.
 
Weekly weigh-in done, ticker updated. 301.5! I should be back in the 200's next week (knock on wood), and I'm sooooo excited. That's all for now, I just had to gush a little. :D
 
squeak said:
Weekly weigh-in done, ticker updated. 301.5! I should be back in the 200's next week (knock on wood), and I'm sooooo excited. That's all for now, I just had to gush a little. :D
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WOW!! CONGRATULATIONS!! :hurray:

I'm so proud of you! Gush away, honey. You deserve it. You've worked hard to get here, you can take pride in it for a while. There's no problem with feeling accomplished. It's good for you. Not only does it put you in a good mood, it makes life seem A-okay for the rest of the day.

I'm so proud of you Squeak, keep this up chica! I can see you reaching the two-hundreds by next week! You can do it!
 
So, one of my daily tasks at work is to clean out our e-mail spam filter. Every now and then a subject line catches my eye. This morning, it was 'Oxygen debt'... but I read it as 'Oxygen diet'. What followed was a bit of entertaining musing about what an 'oxygen diet' would be.

"Hey, wanna go outside and breathe for a few minutes?"

"Oh, I can't... I'm on an oxygen diet, trying to cut back."

OR

"This oxygen diet is great! I can have all I want and I don't gain an ounce!"

OR

"I'm on an oxygen diet. I eat three square meals a day and breathe deeply in between."

Heh. Yeah, I'm weird. That's OK.

In other news, I had a nice day off work yesterday but didn't want to come back in today as a result (big surprise). Nutritionally I'm doing well. I'm on day 4 of my 60g net carb diet and I think I might actually get close to 60g today. The last few days I've not quite made it due to overcompensation. I think one day I crested 27g. I've found that I don't miss the bread as much as I missed the cheese when I was doing a more traditional nutrition plan.

I have a friend who has been doing South Beach and she gave me a wonderful tip that should get me past the struggle I've been having trying to figure out what to have for breakfast. I'm not even remotely a morning person, so on weekdays it's all I can do just to get out of bed and get out the door in time. That's why I usually reach for cereal of some sort I can eat on the go or at my desk when I get to the office. Well, she makes what she calls 'mega muffins'. She got a couple of those muffin tins for large muffins (6 per tin) and on the weekend she frys up some ground turkey with whatever veggies she wants. Then she beats a dozen eggs and mixes it with the meat/veggie mixture and ladles the result into the muffin tins (sprayed with non-stick cooking spray). Bake at 350 until they're done, then cool and freeze in individual sandwich baggies or plastic containers. A couple minutes in the microwave and she has a fresh hot breakfast every day that she can throw in her lunch bag and take to work to heat up there if she's running short on time in the morning.

Genius. GENIUS, I say. I am resolved to try this.

I've given my weight loss blog address out to a few more friends. I find that the more people I give it to the less I am worried about them reading and finding out what my weight is. I've been ashamed of it for so long... now that it's coming off, I find that keeping it secret doesn't matter as much to me.

I'm also really proud of my friend that is doing South Beach. She had to start a weight loss plan for medical reasons.. she was on a medication that was actually making her gain weight, so she went on a diet originally just to maintain. But after a few weeks she discovered she was actually losing and I think she said last night she had lost over 25 lbs. I can tell. I see it in her face, which had grown more rounded over the years that I have known her. She looks more now like she did when I met her, and I'm so happy for her. Even though we're not on the same exact diet, we can still share low carb meal ideas and support each other. Talking with her last night really made me feel better about choosing to follow the nutritional guidelines my doctor put forth. I guess the scale on Sunday will be the final judge of whether or not it works for me... in the meantime, I'm doing my best to stick to it. :)
 
Not only did this update make me laugh, it made me feel happy as well. It's so great that you have someone you can confide in in person. Support like friends, makes our journeys so much easier.

Those muffins are genius! I'll have to try something like that. They sound filling as well. I can go for protein and not just cereal in the morning...

I think we've all felt ashamed of our weight loss struggles. It took me a while to admit how heavy I was as well. It gets easier as time goes by, provided you feel good about yourself. It's if and when you put the weight back on you feel disgusted again. But I have faith in you, you're in this for the long haul. You'll be skinnier and fresh looking just like your friend in no time at all!!

Kudos to you for feeling this diet impertinent. There are times I doubt myself too, but I always confide in myself that I'm doing the right thing by watching my cals. There are moments though, when I wish so badly I could eat whatever I want and not gain a pound. I wish wishful thinking would die, or come true. (The latter being preferable of course)...

I hope you're having an awesome Tuesday, Squeak!!
 
It's going alright, Invariant (I've heard you called so many different things in your diary I think I'll just stick with Invariant for now. :D). Thanks for stopping by!

Today I signed up for Curves (doctor recommended it) and did my first workout. It is deceptively easy when you're going around the circle, but when I finished and went to stretch/cool down it all suddenly caught up with me. My heart was racing and every muscle in my body felt completely exhausted. I could barely stand, and when I got down on the floor to finish the last few stretches all I could do afterward was lie there for a minute or two like a beached whale trying to summon the energy to pick myself back up again.

It took about an hour for me to get some of my pep back, and I'm feeling ok now but the muscles that haven't seen a workout in years are still protesting a bit. I know I'm going to be in a world of hurt tomorrow morning, so I might try taking a nice hot shower before bed to loosen everything up. I don't have ready access to a hot tub this time of year. ;)

I think the hardest part of going to Curves was dealing with the super-peppy instructor. I'm really shy around strangers, so having her in my face the whole time was kind of difficult. I think now that I've been shown how to use all the machines that they will pretty much leave me alone to do my thing unless I'm doing something wrong.
 
Had my consultation with the surgeon today and, as expected, I am going to have to have my gallbladder out. My surgery has been scheduled for next Friday. Sometime between now and then (they're supposed to call me to schedule it) I have to go in for an EKG. Don't really know what that entails, will have to look it up online today.

On the whole I'm kind of nervous and scared. I haven't had surgery since I was about 5 years old and I've watched way too many medical drama shows on TV as an adult. The doctor started explaining how if there is a complication during the surgery and they have to convert from a laparscopic procedure to an open one they'll just do it. So... I won't know until I wake up whether I am looking at a 1-2 week recovery or a 6-8 week recovery. He was quick to assure me that he feels that is extremely unlikely and only happens 1-3 times a year. Luckily, I'm not a nail biter.

So, in preparation for my surgery my doctor wants me on a low fat diet. So between my surgeon's low fat request and my regular doctor's low carb request I guess that leaves me eating chicken, fish, shellfish and low carb veggies for the next week. Kind of sad, as I had been enjoying my cheese the last few days. Also, I have a (growing) addiction to peanut butter. Have limited myself to one serving a day so far but.. might have to give it up for a week. So sad!

Anyway, that's pretty much how my day is going today. It's freezing cold in my office and someone just knocked our entire phone system offline. Whee! At least I still have the internet.
 
Had my second workout at Curves today. I have read some pretty harsh criticism of Curves on this forum, but I think it is going to be good for me for a bit. I don't harbor any delusions that it's a top notch workout, but getting into exercise after 13 years of being pretty sedentary is hard. After my first session I thought I was going to pass out (yeah, I overdid it a bit but I didn't realize it until I stopped) and all sorts of muscles I haven't used in years were protesting loudly. Today it didn't hit me quite as hard, but it did take me a while (about 45 mins) to cool down. I'm sure that in a few months I will want to adjust my exercise plan, but for now I just need to get from 'fat lazy sow' to 'can keep heart rate up for 30 mins without wanting to die'.

Anyway... food!

Breakfast: 2 eggs, scrambled, with mushrooms & sausage
Lunch: 1 medium tomato 'bowl' with salmon salad
Snack: 1/2 lg grapefruit
Dinner: TBD

Net Carbs so far: 28 (of 60)
 
Well, the weekend is pretty much over so let's see what I can do about an update.

Saturday was really busy, but I managed to get 3 meals in around errands and frantic house cleaning:

Breakfast: 1/2 lg grapefruit
Lunch: Salad.
Dinner: "Taco Pie" (Some recipe the hubby found online. Ground turkey, onion, tomatoes & taco seasoning with a bisquick topping. The topping didn't come out very good so I pretty much just ate the insides.
Snack: 5 chocolate chip cookies (yeah, I know... I'm weak. Not going to make excuses, hubby made them and I just wanted some.)

Nutritionally the day wasn't that great and I'm pretty sure I overshot my carb goal because of the cookies. But that's ok. Just don't do it every day, right? I did get my kitchen spectacularly clean, which was awesome. Unfortunately, all that hard work I put in backfired on Sunday when I totally lost steam and didn't get all the cleaning done that I had planned.

Sunday's menu:

Breakfast: "Mega muffin" (1 egg, low fat sausage, onion, green pepper, mushrooms & parmesan cheese) & fresh strawberries
Lunch: Chicken 'roll up'. (Deli sliced chicken breast & provolone wrapped around lettuce, onion & a dab of ranch dressing... if I did it again I'd probably pick mustard over the ranch.)
Dinner: Shrimp & veggie kabobs (zucchini, onion, green pepper & mushrooms) w/ awesome salad.
Snack: 90kcal granola bar.

Carb count was super low today. I didn't enter anything into Fitday so I don't have exact totals but I'd guess that breakfast was around 5, lunch... 2... dinner 2? And 18 for the snack? Way under my net 60 goal, which I'm still not sure if I should be worried about. I may call the doctor's office this week to ask the nurse. In order to hit 60 I might have to actually eat a slice of bread here and there...

My weigh-in this morning was disappointing. Between the prescribed diet and the exercise, I had really been hoping to get under 300 this week but I barely lost half a pound. I'm hoping it's just my body adjusting to the newness of it all with some water retention. Otherwise, I was getting much better results from my calorie-counting carb-friendly nutrition plan. Then again, it's always possible I'm doing something wrong.

I have to leave early tomorrow morning (7:30, ugh) to go get an EKG done before work, so I got my breakfast & lunch all packed up and ready to go before I sat down to write. Breakfast tomorrow is a mega muffin + grapefruit, and for lunch I packed shrimp cocktail (I boiled up some shrimp today to refrigerate/use this week) and a small salad. I will probably throw a single serving pack of yogurt for a snack, and maybe a serving of sun chips for multi-grain carbness.

Planning to work out again tomorrow, hopefully my feet will have finished being sore from all the standing I did on Saturday!
 
Was in a rush this morning to get out for my doctor's appointment so forgot my workout clothes. I really need to invest in a gym bag, so I think I'll make put a shopping trip on my list of things to do when I'm recovering from surgery next week. I could use some new tennis shoes but I'm not sure if I'll be able to put them on. That requires a lot more abdominal bending than just getting in/out of the car. I guess it'll depend on how I'm feeling.

On the whole, today has started out well. Had breakfast when I got to work, now am puttering about and making a list in the back of my mind of things I need to get done before Friday. Not sure if I will weigh early this week, but I've been thinking about doing it Thursday or Friday morning because I will probably not be up for it on Sunday. Really hoping there has been more progress than yesterday's weigh-in indicated.
 
First off, I'd like to say how absolutely DELICIOUS all of your meals sound! Everytime I read your nutritional intakes of the day, I'm salivating. And I'm always thinking to myself "See? Who said being on a diet doesn't taste good?" You put my cereal/toast/veggies food plan to shame, Squeak. I'm coming over to your house for dinner...lol

I'm really sorry to hear about your impending surgery. My mother had her gallbladder removed a couple years back. Thankfully it really is a relatively simple procedure and one of the most recoverable. I'll definately be praying for you!

Given I don't frequent the exercise and diet threads, I don't know why some around here diss Curves, but I know for certian that if it helps you move about and gets you going for that much needed workout, I have nothing but respect for them. What's great, is the more your workout, the more stammina you'll have everyday and the more energy you'll burn.

Perhaps you should voice to the hubby your desire of a gym bag. Tell him to consider it as a 'welcome out of surgery' present!

I hope the rest of your Monday goes as well as this morning, Squeak!! ((Big Hugs))
 
Wow, good luck with your surgery. My mom had her gall bladder removed in December after having major attacks for the last 3 years. She has had laproscopic procedures before and was afraid there would be too much scar tissue to do the procedure this way, but all turned out fine. Scar tissue wasn't bad, and she is feeling much better.

Looks like you are doing well, and I commend you on joining the curves gym for now. I hope your recovery goes well and you can get back into the gym quickly.

Best of luck.

Tasha
 
Thanks for stopping by, Rach and Tasha!

I don't know how you manage to eat the same thing all the time Rach, I go a little bonkers without variety. That's one of the things I've struggled with when it comes to menus, finding ways to make the same or similar ingredients into new things so that I'm not eating exactly the same meal all the time. It's soo easy to fall into a sandwich rut when it comes to lunches, and I know that if I eat a ham (or whatever) sandwich every day that by the end of the week I'm eyeing my lunch bag with a distinct lack of enthusiasm and daydreaming about cheeseburgers. :D

But hey... different strokes for different folks. If you've got something that works for you and you're happy with it, that's great!

Tasha, thanks for sharing your grandmother's story with me. As I prepare for my surgery, it seems like everyone I mention it to knows someone who has had the procedure done and had no problems. It's such a comfort to me, because while I am trying not to think too much about it I *am* nervous.
 
Ahhhh, I feel good. I got my workout done today, then came back to the office and had some celery w/ peanut butter & raisins. Tried to go light on carbs for breakfast/lunch because hubby and I will probably be eating out tonight due to a slight miscalculation in meal planning this week. Let's see how I did:

Breakfast: 'mega muffin' with egg, sausage, onion, green pepper & mushroom. 1 apple.
Lunch: Salmon salad tomato bowl.
Snack: Celery & peanut butter w/ raisins.

Hmm.. because of the apple & raisins that's probably about half my net carb count so I still have to watch dinner but I should be able to find *something* tasty wherever we end up. Just have to be careful what I order. Did you know that restaurants commonly sprinkle steaks with sugar before searing to get better color from the caramelization? The things I learn when researching how to cook a steak.

I made awesome steaks last night, btw. Hubby and I love steak, but we rarely make it at home because we have no grill (it's against the rules of our apartment complex), are too lazy to use the community grill and haven't mastered the art of cooking steak with a conventional stove. Well. Until now! I've got it all figured out. Because I'm feeling generous, I'll even share:

Grab a nice thick cut steak with minimal marbling (assuming you're watching your fat). Get steak as close to room temperature as you can. You can pop it in the microwave on a low setting to speed this up if needed, but if it's still a little cool don't sweat it. You don't want to COOK it in the microwave, just warm it up. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Pat the steak down with a paper towel to remove any water that might be on it (rinsing steak is not necessary, just eyeball it and if you see any bone chips pick them off) and rub both sides with a small amount of olive oil. Season with salt & pepper. Sear both sides in a HOT skillet, long enough that they get some good color. Shouldn't be more than a minute or two for each side, but be careful not to move the steak around in the pan too much because this will make it take longer to brown. If you're using an oven-safe skillet, you can put the whole thing directly in the oven. Otherwise, transfer to a baking pan (a broiler pan is ideal if you have one) and put it in the oven. Cooking time will vary depending on the size/thickness of the steak. My steaks were about 1" thick and 15 mins was about medium rare. You can poke the top of the steak to estimate how done it is. The firmer it is when you poke it, the more done it is. (Use a meat thermometer if you want to be absolutely certain, but remember that poking holes just means juice leaks out... for this reason, be sure you use tongs to handl your steaks rather than a fork.) Once you take the steaks out of the oven, move them to a plate and let them rest for at least 5 minutes. While resting, they'll cook a little bit more and the juices inside will redistribute so that they don't all come pouring out when you cut into them.

That's it. Voila. From my kitchen to yours.
 
Well, I didn't really intend to go two weeks without posting anything but.. so it goes. Surgery went flawlessly. It took me a little longer than I expected to get back on my feet. By the 5th day after my surgery I was completely off of pain meds but if I sat upright in a chair (as opposed to reclining or lying down) for more than a couple hours at a stretch the incision closest to my belly button would get tender and start to sting. I think it was due to gravity tugging at my belly fat. Anyway, I tried not to overdo it and now am able to sit up for long periods without any issues. Also, my itchy bandages are starting to come off, which is lovely in my book.

As for how I'm feeling... wow, I feel so great. I just didn't realize how much pain/discomfort I was in daily. I feel wonderful now. I haven't had a stomach ache for two weeks and I can drink orange juice again. While I am sure there was a time when I was able to drink orange juice without getting heartburn, I can't really pinpoint when that was. It was so long ago that I thought it was just a quirk of my physiology and didn't even consider that it might be related to gallstones. But I tried a serving one day on a lark and... nothing, not even a faint twinge. So I had it 2-3 more times during that week and every time I was fine. It was actually fairly exciting to me, and yet a bittersweet sort of discovery.. my reduced carb diet doesn't allow me to have much fruit juice. Too much sugar!

Anyway, I've been mostly off work for the last two weeks (I did some half days last week) and tomorrow I'm going in for my first 8 hour day since 2/28. I'm still under some lifting restrictions (nothing over 10 lbs for another week) so I won't be doing the circuit at Curves this week but I'm at least going to make an effort to get back on my nutrition plan. I fell off it pretty hardcore while I was recovering, craving those 'comfort foods'. It didn't help that my Mom stayed for a week and made yummy chocolate chip cookies at my hubby's behest.

Tonight I attempted to make lettuce wraps. The filling came out really good but the lettuce didn't work so well. The grocery store sells packaged 'lettuce scoops' but they were all expired when we went there on Saturday. So I bought some romaine... yeah, don't try to make lettuce wraps with romaine. It didn't work very well! But the filling was yummy. I used a pre-packaged 'ginger soy marinade', just a local 'oraganic' brand that was fairly low carb. Cut up some zucchini & mushrooms into small cubes and sautee'd it along with some shrimp (marinated with the ginger soy marinade) with a drizzle of olive oil. It came out really well.

I'll try to read some journals tomorrow and catch up with folks. Hope everyone has been doing well in my absence. :)
 
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Not much to say, I've been doing really really bad with my reduced carb diet. It's been so hard to get back on the wagon, I just have had a terrible time with ridiculous cravings for pasta, bread (bagels, specifically) and sweets. I'd say I'm trying, but I really haven't been trying very hard. Mostly I've been giving in and feeling generally depressed that I wasn't able to be stronger--and oh, since I failed I might as well have some ice cream. *grumble*

So, yeah. Doing some poking around on the web today looking for something to get me motivated and excited again. Unfortunately, I think I need to be looking more within myself for answers. I just don't have any right now.
 
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