sorry for this

ChelsterBelster

ChelsterBelster

New member
but I really just need to get a load off my mind.

My boyfriend and I work at the same place. We met there. Before we started dating, he boned this other girl at work.

A few nights ago he gave her a ride home (she lives about 45 mins away), but ended up hanging out there until maybe 5 in the morning. Meanwhile, I'm worrying about him. He left his phone in his car, which, he does do a lot, but the least he could've done was shoot me a text.

Now in my heart of hearts I know he's not cheating on me. He's the type of guy that would just break up with me if he wanted someone else. My insecurities got rattled when I found one of her work shirts under his bed. Granted she does tote another set of work clothes with her, but it's just unnerving.

Even though I know he's not being unfaithful, my insecurities and jealousy won't go away. I can't shake them. I end up blaming everything on the way I look, because I'm not skinny. I haven't been able to bring my wall down because I'm scared of being hurt, but what good is that in a relationship?

I know it's really... not relevent. I just needed to have it put somewhere other than my own head.
 
Hmm sorry Chelster, I have to ask the same thing Emerald did. I don't quite understand the whole situation with the work shirt. You found her work shirt under his bed, but the girl carries around extra work shirts with her...so it may have just fell under there? (sorry not trying to sound rude, just trying to understand the situation)

Anyway, if you were "not skinny" when you first got together, you shouldn't let your weight make you feel insecure. He obviously was able to look beyond that and I don't think that would change.
 
well chels, I can tell you that when I was 21, I was a bartender, I was working at a great place with lots of hot women, happening nightlife and I was casually dating this girl I went to college with... We were not exclusive, but I can tell you this... when I wanted to hide stuff from her, i used the EXACT excuses you are talking about...

Left his phone?? Of course he does that, because he's getting text from other people... in 2010-2011, nobody that uses their phone on a daily basis leaves it out in the car overnight... phones are expensive now-a-days, not like they used to be...

And 5am... excuse me but WTF? nothing good goes on between midnight and 5am... seriously... sorry girlie, but this guy sounds like a d-bag... you need to give him some ultimatums, and let him know this doesn't work...best of luck, you don't deserve this treatment, whether it's intentional or not!
 
Daybehavior said:
Hmm sorry Chelster, I have to ask the same thing Emerald did. I don't quite understand the whole situation with the work shirt. You found her work shirt under his bed, but the girl carries around extra work shirts with her...so it may have just fell under there? (sorry not trying to sound rude, just trying to understand the situation)
Click to expand...


Seriously... this is proposterous... everything... being out till 5am, finding her work shirt...I was always raised with tough love.. and that is all I know, so I don't mean to sound abrasive, but I am trying to level with you (and this is just my opinion).

If I found a dudes shirt under my wife and my bed, and she was gone till 5 in the am, she would find all of her stuff outside...what is it gonna take for him to piss you off? She's going to get pregnant with your bf's kid, and tell you that she needed some boxers to wear after she fell in the fountain saving a puppy..and that is how she got pregnant
 
ChelsterBelster said:
I end up blaming everything on the way I look, because I'm not skinny.
Click to expand...

I am all done after this... It really pisses me off that he is committed to you, and still treats you this way... looks have nothing to do with the way that we (men) behave sometimes. Look at Eva Longoria, Halle Barry (sp?)... both cheated on by dirtbag husbands...

Please don't less this guy make you feel any different than you deserve. If you wanted to lose weight before, you are doing that for you, not for some guy that is going to treat you like this... No matter what, be true to yourself... alright, I am done :smash:
 
Said coworker girl was over a couple nights ago. We were all playing board games. I'm sure the shirt just fell out of her bag. I just didn't like that I found it under the freaking bed.

My brain tells me he's not cheating on me. I know he's not...or I'm in serious denial, but I'm pretty confident that he hasn't. All I can do is monitor the situation until something else questionable happens. Like if her takes her home again and DOESN'T text me. He's a good guy. Like everyone else, he has his stupid moments.

Ugh, I mean, if it happens again, or just... anything else to make me doubt him... then... I'm done. I've lost 70 pounds before I knew him and with just a little more time I'll have my pick of men, so I'm not worried about it. If.. that's what it came down to. (I'm still slowly but steadily losing weight, even with him, I'd like to clarify.)

I started the thread because I want to punch a baby in the face when I just can't shake off the feelings that stem from things about mysel; Like said coworker girl is skinny, and even though I don't think of her as a threat (not in a physical kinda way, I mean her lack of brains) it still makes me look at myself and just kinda go, "ew". And then this wall comes up and it's harder to knock down than the Berlin Wall.

I know I sound like a delusional 12 year old girl, so infatuated with a boy I can't see reason, but I guess it's just one of those things where you'd need to know every detail.. or better, just actually be here and see things how they are for yourself.

Thanks for all your responses, I do appreciate the time you took out of your day/night to read it.
 
Last edited:
He is cheating... i would bet my lunch on it. almost classic signs and excuses. sry :(
( Don't take my word as fact )
 
"He's the type of guy that would just break up with me if he wanted someone else. "

Do you think he would actually do that? If you are sure he's not cheating, then stay with him, but if you have a doubt in your mind, I would just end it. This kind of stress won't do anything for you, especially when it comes to taking care of yourself because you're worrying about him. Good luck!
 
Girl aren't you really missing the point? Do you really want to spend your life with someone so careless about your feelings? Regardless of whether or not he did something with her. He went out and spent time with a girl, didn't call, was gone all night, and to top it off, expects you to be ok with that?

No it's not ok. Kick him to the curb if he doesn't respect you any more than that.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top