Sona Can Reach For The Sky!
- Thread starter Sona
- Start date
welcome to the forum, don't ever feel like you're whining it's your diary -- talk about what's on your mind.. weight loss is mental as well...
you're off to a great start wit the changes you're making - and just remember that ou have to start somewhere - you will improve gradually.. just give yourself some time
you're off to a great start wit the changes you're making - and just remember that ou have to start somewhere - you will improve gradually.. just give yourself some time
Sona
New member
Hi maleficent
I appreciate the support
and thanks so much for stopping in to say hello!
Ok, so I stayed within my dietary goals for yesterday.
I monitored my daily food intake for about 7 days
to see what I am eating to maintain my body weight.
and also get a look at where I am spending my calories.
I've figured out I'm eating approx 3300 if I have my own way
I should be eating between 1800 and 2000
Hopefully this is enough of a deficit that I can lose about 1.5 to 2 pounds per week.
That is if everything else goes well.
I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike this morning
wow, I forgot what that does to your hind end...
I was so numb I almost had to fall off to dismount!
Then on to the weight bench.
Originally I wanted to focus on core stability.
But I'm having an issue with this.
I can't tighten my Rectus Abdominis without the whole muscle going into spasm!
The entire muscle was cut vertically from about 4 inches above my navel
down into my groin area.
I developed several hernias while it was trying to heal,
these were supposedly repaired...yeah right!
Sooooo,
I'm settling for lying flat and trying to contract the muscle with no resistance ..OMG!
I did like 5 and headed for the Advil.
I'll wait a day and try again!
Might have to go back to phys rehab for further instructions.
It seems like almost everything I do stresses that muscle!
I can however do a basic upper and lower body split
today I did upper body and some chest although this still stresses my belly!
I'm so pissed
I want this to be all better
I want to be like I used to be!
Sometimes I just want to cry...sometimes I do cry!
Well I'm alive! I'm still with my husband and my kids,
I love them so much!
I'm very lucky
I almost lost it all and died
so what am I bitching about?
who knows??
Tomorrow I will try to get out early before it gets hot
to walk some.
Oh and I've decided,
I'm trying to put a whole person back together here
not just a body,
so I will probably post other stuff here too.
My family, my art, my garden,
you know stuff that makes me, me!
Thanks for stopping by....
Just in case anyone reads this
Sona
Will prolly check back in later
I appreciate the support
and thanks so much for stopping in to say hello!
Ok, so I stayed within my dietary goals for yesterday.
I monitored my daily food intake for about 7 days
to see what I am eating to maintain my body weight.
and also get a look at where I am spending my calories.
I've figured out I'm eating approx 3300 if I have my own way
I should be eating between 1800 and 2000
Hopefully this is enough of a deficit that I can lose about 1.5 to 2 pounds per week.
That is if everything else goes well.
I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike this morning
wow, I forgot what that does to your hind end...
I was so numb I almost had to fall off to dismount!
Then on to the weight bench.
Originally I wanted to focus on core stability.
But I'm having an issue with this.
I can't tighten my Rectus Abdominis without the whole muscle going into spasm!
The entire muscle was cut vertically from about 4 inches above my navel
down into my groin area.
I developed several hernias while it was trying to heal,
these were supposedly repaired...yeah right!
Sooooo,
I'm settling for lying flat and trying to contract the muscle with no resistance ..OMG!
I did like 5 and headed for the Advil.
I'll wait a day and try again!
Might have to go back to phys rehab for further instructions.
It seems like almost everything I do stresses that muscle!
I can however do a basic upper and lower body split
today I did upper body and some chest although this still stresses my belly!
I'm so pissed
I want this to be all better
I want to be like I used to be!
Sometimes I just want to cry...sometimes I do cry!
Well I'm alive! I'm still with my husband and my kids,
I love them so much!
I'm very lucky
I almost lost it all and died
so what am I bitching about?
who knows??
Tomorrow I will try to get out early before it gets hot
to walk some.
Oh and I've decided,
I'm trying to put a whole person back together here
not just a body,
so I will probably post other stuff here too.
My family, my art, my garden,
you know stuff that makes me, me!
Thanks for stopping by....
Just in case anyone reads this
Sona
Will prolly check back in later
Last edited:
Boam46
New member
Hi Sona,
Why do you feel more alone than ever? I'm sorry if you feel like the forum was a bad idea. This is your journal and you can post whatever you would like and whatever you wouldn't like. It seems you have removed most of what you posted. From the post you have left I can tell you have gone through a lot and I am very sorry about that.
I'ms orry its very hard for you to exercise it can be very frustrating. Deciding to change your whole body and mind is a great way to go and a major decision on its own. Everything is one step at a time... it doesn't change overnight.
If you need to talk I'm here
~Jenna
Why do you feel more alone than ever? I'm sorry if you feel like the forum was a bad idea. This is your journal and you can post whatever you would like and whatever you wouldn't like. It seems you have removed most of what you posted. From the post you have left I can tell you have gone through a lot and I am very sorry about that.
I'ms orry its very hard for you to exercise it can be very frustrating. Deciding to change your whole body and mind is a great way to go and a major decision on its own. Everything is one step at a time... it doesn't change overnight.
If you need to talk I'm here
~Jenna
Hey Sona,
You and I are sort of in similar boats here. I'm not sure exactly what you went through, but I can say that I understand the feeling you have about changing a whole person. That's an overwhelming thought, isn't it? I know that sometimes I approach the situation thinking that I've got to make all of these changes at once. It's going to take awhile but girl it's going to be soo worth it. I for one would LOVE to see some art of yours. That'd be really cool
Hope your day goes well!
Anna
You and I are sort of in similar boats here. I'm not sure exactly what you went through, but I can say that I understand the feeling you have about changing a whole person. That's an overwhelming thought, isn't it? I know that sometimes I approach the situation thinking that I've got to make all of these changes at once. It's going to take awhile but girl it's going to be soo worth it. I for one would LOVE to see some art of yours. That'd be really cool
Hope your day goes well!
Anna
DCarr10760
New member
Sona,
Every step you take brings you closer to where you want to be!! Even the teeny tiny little steps. If you stop things don't change, or get worse. If it's hard now, how much harder will it be if you don't begin?
If you stop, you stay on the couch, forever, right?. If you don't do this now, today, when will you? What will be different tomorrow or next week or next year or in 10 years time? Every new day gives you an opportunity to make a change. Start new today! Start small, but start.
What is a bad idea is to stop. You know how that will end. Go slow, you have the rest of your life to get better.
We are here for you!
David
Every step you take brings you closer to where you want to be!! Even the teeny tiny little steps. If you stop things don't change, or get worse. If it's hard now, how much harder will it be if you don't begin?
If you stop, you stay on the couch, forever, right?. If you don't do this now, today, when will you? What will be different tomorrow or next week or next year or in 10 years time? Every new day gives you an opportunity to make a change. Start new today! Start small, but start.
What is a bad idea is to stop. You know how that will end. Go slow, you have the rest of your life to get better.
We are here for you!
David
Sona
New member
David thanks, you are a very kind person I can see that!
Anna thank you for your encouragement, I really do appreciate it.
I hope we get to know each other better, I'm not always such a bummer...lol
Jenna thanks for offering a listening ear.
I hope I can return the favor
I'm sorry you guys
Apparently I'm not in very good shape emotionally right now.
I've never been this needy in my life!
Depression is...well...it's depressing!
I'm not quitting, I'm regrouping!
I feel bad today
some days are better than others
I'm gonna paint today
since moving is kind of out of the question.
Tomorrow I'll try again.
You 3 made my day! honestly
sometimes I feel really isolated!
Sona
Anna thank you for your encouragement, I really do appreciate it.
I hope we get to know each other better, I'm not always such a bummer...lol
Jenna thanks for offering a listening ear.
I hope I can return the favor
I'm sorry you guys
Apparently I'm not in very good shape emotionally right now.
I've never been this needy in my life!
Depression is...well...it's depressing!
I'm not quitting, I'm regrouping!
I feel bad today
some days are better than others
I'm gonna paint today
since moving is kind of out of the question.
Tomorrow I'll try again.
You 3 made my day! honestly
sometimes I feel really isolated!
Sona
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We shall get to know each other better, and don't worry you are not a bummer haha. Everyone has tough days, weeks, months...it's okay. I get it. I'm a believer in the idea that the emotional part is harder to transform than the weight. It is definitely a process...no need to feel isolated here!
I get it. I'm a believer in the idea that the emotional part is harder to transform than the weight. It is definitely a process...no need to feel isolated here!
DCarr10760
New member
Don't be sorry, we've all been there, to one degree or another. I've battled depression all of my life. It's always the worst when I'm fattest and in bad shape...
Making constructive changes to your life, no matter how small will make you feel better about you. And that's a good place to be, you can build from there.
Painting...Walls or Paintings?
You sound better than your last few posts, I'm glad.
David
Making constructive changes to your life, no matter how small will make you feel better about you. And that's a good place to be, you can build from there.
Painting...Walls or Paintings?
You sound better than your last few posts, I'm glad.
David
MidGaGuy
New member
Hi Sona,
Welcome to the forum . I just now read your diary , listen to what everyone else just said . You can write about anything you want to here in your diary . It all pertains to you so you can write about anything you feel like .
I see you are in Ga too. What part of the state are you in ? I'm in Milledgeville myself . Isn't it as hot as satans buttcrack today!
Hope you get to feeling better and just take things one day at a time
Paul
Welcome to the forum . I just now read your diary , listen to what everyone else just said . You can write about anything you want to here in your diary . It all pertains to you so you can write about anything you feel like .
I see you are in Ga too. What part of the state are you in ? I'm in Milledgeville myself . Isn't it as hot as satans buttcrack today!
Hope you get to feeling better and just take things one day at a time
Paul
Boam46
New member
Hi Sona,
I have battled depression since I was a young child. Everyone has their down moments... no need to apoligize. We understand and support you. Making changes in your life will certainly help you with your depression too.
What medium do you use to paint. I've dabbled with acrylic but I really love watercolor
~Jenna
I have battled depression since I was a young child. Everyone has their down moments... no need to apoligize. We understand and support you. Making changes in your life will certainly help you with your depression too.
What medium do you use to paint. I've dabbled with acrylic but I really love watercolor
~Jenna
DCarr10760
New member
Sona,
You've been through a real lot. I want to share with you this story, you may have heard it before, but read it again anyway!
On Nov. 18, 1995, Itzhak Perlman, the violinist, came on stage to give a concert at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center in New York City. If you have ever been to a Perlman concert, you know that getting on stage is no small achievement for him. He was stricken with polio as a child, and so he has braces on both legs and walks with the aid of two crutches.
To see him walk across the stage one step at a time, painfully and slowly, is an unforgettable sight. He walks painfully, yet majestically, until he reaches his chair. Then he sits down, slowly, puts his crutches on the floor, undoes the clasps on his legs, tucks one foot back and extends the other foot forward. Then he bends down and picks up the violin, puts it under his chin, nods to the conductor and proceeds to play.
By now, the audience is used to this ritual. They sit quietly while he makes his way across the stage to his chair. They remain reverently silent while he undoes the clasps on his legs. They wait until he is ready to play. But this time, something went wrong. Just as he finished the first few bars, one of the strings on his violin broke. You could hear it snap -it went off like gunfire across the room. There was no mistaking what that sound meant. There was no mistaking what he had to do.
People who were there that night thought to themselves: "We figured that he would have to get up, put on the clasps again, pick up the crutches and limp his way off stage - to either find another violin or else find another string for this one."
But he didn't. Instead, he waited a moment, closed his eyes and then signaled the conductor to begin again. The orchestra began, and he played from where he had left off. And he played with such passion and such power and such purity as they had never heard before. Of course, anyone knows that it is impossible to play a symphonic work with just three strings. I know that, and you know that, but that night Itzhak Perlman refused to know that.
You could see him modulating, changing, recomposing the piece in his head. At one point, it sounded like he was de-tuning the strings to get new sounds from them that they had never made before.
When he finished, there was an awesome silence in the room. And then people rose and cheered. There was an extraordinary outburst of applause from every corner of the auditorium. We were all on our feet, screaming and
cheering, doing everything we could to show how much we appreciated what he had done.
He smiled, wiped the sweat from this brow, raised his bow to quiet us, and then he said, not boastfully, but in a quiet, pensive, reverent tone, "You know, sometimes it is the artist's task to find out how much music you can still make with what you have left."
Written by Jack Riemer, Houston Chronicle
Sona, everytime I read that story I tear up. This is not to tell you "Oh you don't have it so bad, you should be thankful. This is to tell you that life is unfair and we are dealt terrible blows, some more than others. It is what we make out of what's left that really matters.
David
Miss Ladybug
New member
Hey Miss Sona, welcome to WLF!! The first step to recovering from anything or making a change is getting the help or reaching out for assistance, and by signing up for WLF you did just that. Your on your way girlfriend, don't give up!! My best friend suffers from Bipolar and she is up and down constantly, but I know that when she's having a "spell" that's not the true person I have come to love. Don't ever apologize on your diary for having a bad day, or saying something that's negative. It's YOUR diary, and it's for YOU!! If you feel like yelling and saying in your diary that today is CRAP, then do it. We know it's just one of those days, and we all have them, TRUST ME!! I'm so happy your here, and wish you much success girlfriend!! Keep your chin up and don't give in! I believe you said you were riding a stationary bike is that right??? If that's the case keep that up, I tell you what cardio has done wonders for me in the weight loss battle. I'm just now incorporating weights into my program. I'll check in on you real soon. let us know if we can help!! ~HUGS~
Kim
Kim
Sona
New member
Morning David
I'm painting, paintings ...lol, or at least trying to!
OMG that story about Itzhak Perlman has me crying!
sniff....
But I still have no idea what I can do with it.
Perlman is an incredible individual!
I am going to climb onto that stationary bike
as soon as I finish here on the computer.
Thank you for posting that story!
It gave me a boost right in my sorry attitude!
Oh and I should tell you,
My husband plays viola with a symphony orchestra.
He just spend 10 minutes telling me how difficult
it is to play with 3 strings.
Morning Paul
So good to meet you, I'm near Athens
and yes it's hot. What was it 104 yesterday.
A sauna for sure. Today is supposed to be better.
My day is better too!
So you're in Milledgeville,
sure we drive through there every now and then.
We're neighbors! kinda!
Thanks for the encouragement Paul
See you later...k
Hi GoGo, Yes I think the emotional part is every bit as hard as the physical.
Maybe harder because you have to make a decision to take care of yourself.
A decision to eat right and exercise.
Then you have to ignore that little voice in your head that make excuses.
My little voice is an expert at excuses!
I'm really glad you're here GoGo,
Glad to get a chance to know you!
Jenna Hi,
I know!
Depression is so...depressing!
I've had more than my fair share of moments over the past year.
I know everyone goes through this though.
Hopefully every time we come out the other side we get tougher.
Those exercise endorphins really do help some.
I'm hoping to capture one or two of those little buggers today.
So you like to paint with watercolor, brave girl!
I love watercolor but it's unforgiving.
You gotta get things right the first time, know what I mean? lol
I'm painting with oil right now, gives me room to change my mind.
I'm also do CG, so I work a lot on the computer.'
Mostly 3D applications.
I'd love to see your work Jenna
art is so healing!
Hi Kim, I'm so glad to meet you
You're right reaching out is the first step.
It's kind of tough for me,
I've always been a very private person.
In the last year I've isolated myself,
not good, mentally or physically.
Yes I have a stationary bike,
and I even hauled the laundry off the weight bench.
I'm gonna climb on that bike in a few minutes here
and try to get in at least 20 minutes
A few weeks ago I could only do 2 minutes without fainting,
so at least it's an improvement.
I have some light weights and will try to push them up in the air.
I have left all the heavy metal in storage for now.
But I will try to squat at least the bar today.
My main problem right now is consistency.
Cause without consistency, I'm lost!
You are a sweetie for visiting me Kim.
I'm looking forward to talking with you more.
I'm gonna go ride my bike now
I want to come visit you guys on your journals later.
I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me.
I hit such a low yesterday!
Thanks for putting up with me.
Sona
I'm painting, paintings ...lol, or at least trying to!
OMG that story about Itzhak Perlman has me crying!
sniff....
I can relate in a way, I've had to adjust to a new normal.
But I still have no idea what I can do with it.
Perlman is an incredible individual!
I am going to climb onto that stationary bike
as soon as I finish here on the computer.
Thank you for posting that story!
It gave me a boost right in my sorry attitude!
Oh and I should tell you,
My husband plays viola with a symphony orchestra.
He just spend 10 minutes telling me how difficult
it is to play with 3 strings.
Morning Paul
So good to meet you, I'm near Athens
and yes it's hot. What was it 104 yesterday.
A sauna for sure. Today is supposed to be better.
My day is better too!
So you're in Milledgeville,
sure we drive through there every now and then.
We're neighbors! kinda!
Thanks for the encouragement Paul
See you later...k
Hi GoGo, Yes I think the emotional part is every bit as hard as the physical.
Maybe harder because you have to make a decision to take care of yourself.
A decision to eat right and exercise.
Then you have to ignore that little voice in your head that make excuses.
My little voice is an expert at excuses!
I'm really glad you're here GoGo,
Glad to get a chance to know you!
Jenna Hi,
I know!
Depression is so...depressing!
I've had more than my fair share of moments over the past year.
I know everyone goes through this though.
Hopefully every time we come out the other side we get tougher.
Those exercise endorphins really do help some.
I'm hoping to capture one or two of those little buggers today.
So you like to paint with watercolor, brave girl!
I love watercolor but it's unforgiving.
You gotta get things right the first time, know what I mean? lol
I'm painting with oil right now, gives me room to change my mind.
I'm also do CG, so I work a lot on the computer.'
Mostly 3D applications.
I'd love to see your work Jenna
art is so healing!
Hi Kim, I'm so glad to meet you
You're right reaching out is the first step.
It's kind of tough for me,
I've always been a very private person.
In the last year I've isolated myself,
not good, mentally or physically.
Yes I have a stationary bike,
and I even hauled the laundry off the weight bench.
I'm gonna climb on that bike in a few minutes here
and try to get in at least 20 minutes
A few weeks ago I could only do 2 minutes without fainting,
so at least it's an improvement.
I have some light weights and will try to push them up in the air.
I have left all the heavy metal in storage for now.
But I will try to squat at least the bar today.
My main problem right now is consistency.
Cause without consistency, I'm lost!
You are a sweetie for visiting me Kim.
I'm looking forward to talking with you more.
I'm gonna go ride my bike now
I want to come visit you guys on your journals later.
I can't tell you how much your support has meant to me.
I hit such a low yesterday!
Thanks for putting up with me.
Sona
Last edited:
Sona
New member
I managed 25 min on the stationary bike this morning.
Did basic stretching and then some lower body exercises.
Most of it is a floor routine that my physical therapy folks gave me.
Still can hardly tighten those abs, did manage to do a couple though.
I also had trouble squatting the bar.
The standard bar is what about 12 pounds, akk forget it.
I'm not stable enough through my core.
I'm going to try to squat without any resistance which is prolly
where I should have started anyway.
I can even use the chair for support that way.
Until I regain some core strength I guess this is the way it will have to be.
I had a big omelet for breakfast/lunch.
I eat the whole freakin egg, I know you should prolly separate the white
but, I don't know if I go with that. That yolk is full of lecithin.
lecithin is good, actually a fat emulsifier, so I'm eatin it.
I filled it full of garden, big ole fat ripe tomatoes, green or red peppers
onions and some olives cause I love olives.
Looks like dinner is whole wheat pasta with garden in it.
My husband fries up garlic, red peppers, and tomatoes in some EVOO.
a little parmesan and you're in heaven. not to expensive in the calorie dept either.
Today is definitely working out better than yesterday.
And I don't even hate my painting from yesterday.
usually I hate it for a day or two.
later
sona
Did basic stretching and then some lower body exercises.
Most of it is a floor routine that my physical therapy folks gave me.
Still can hardly tighten those abs, did manage to do a couple though.
I also had trouble squatting the bar.
The standard bar is what about 12 pounds, akk forget it.
I'm not stable enough through my core.
I'm going to try to squat without any resistance which is prolly
where I should have started anyway.
I can even use the chair for support that way.
Until I regain some core strength I guess this is the way it will have to be.
I had a big omelet for breakfast/lunch.
I eat the whole freakin egg, I know you should prolly separate the white
but, I don't know if I go with that. That yolk is full of lecithin.
lecithin is good, actually a fat emulsifier, so I'm eatin it.
I filled it full of garden, big ole fat ripe tomatoes, green or red peppers
onions and some olives cause I love olives.
Looks like dinner is whole wheat pasta with garden in it.
My husband fries up garlic, red peppers, and tomatoes in some EVOO.
a little parmesan and you're in heaven. not to expensive in the calorie dept either.
Today is definitely working out better than yesterday.
And I don't even hate my painting from yesterday.
usually I hate it for a day or two.
later
sona
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Boam46
New member
Hi Sona,
I'm glad today is better. I havn't really painted or sculpted (yes i do that too) since high school i start things... never finish :sad: I really would like to start again. I love the movement of the watercolor... once I gained control of it .... i loved it. My favorite one that I ever did ... someone dropped a few drops of coffee on it by accident... it was soo depressing!
Ihope your day stays good!
~Jenna
I'm glad today is better. I havn't really painted or sculpted (yes i do that too) since high school i start things... never finish :sad: I really would like to start again. I love the movement of the watercolor... once I gained control of it .... i loved it. My favorite one that I ever did ... someone dropped a few drops of coffee on it by accident... it was soo depressing!
Ihope your day stays good!
~Jenna
SoSel
New member
That sketch was pretty cool. :]
So, skimming through your diary I see that you haven't been feeling so happy. Ugh, me either. The biggest reason why I love this place so much is the support. You wouldn't believe the crap I keep writing in my diary, yet I have a group of ladies that always come read my drama, and support me. You will find that here too.
Good luck with your exercising. Keep it up! [It helps battle depression.]
Selena
So, skimming through your diary I see that you haven't been feeling so happy. Ugh, me either. The biggest reason why I love this place so much is the support. You wouldn't believe the crap I keep writing in my diary, yet I have a group of ladies that always come read my drama, and support me. You will find that here too.
Good luck with your exercising. Keep it up! [It helps battle depression.]
Selena