So much weight, so little time!

seliwyma

seliwyma

New member
Hi all,

My name is Selina and I come to this forum in desperation!

My best friend is getting married in 9 weeks and I am going to be one of her bridesmaids. I haven't seen her in two years as we've been living on opposite sides of the globe and she doesn't know that I have put on a LOT of weight in that time. She bought the dress (a whopping $800 worth!) without checking with me first. I've always been a size 14 - she just didn't think. And now i'm a size 20 needing to fit into a size 14 dress in 9 weeks time. The dress can't be exchanged and even if it could they only go UP to a size 14.

I understand that it is an awful lot of weight to lose in such a short time. I understand that it isn't healthy to lose that much weight in such a short time. But i'm kinda desperate here!

Is it even possible to lose that much weight? To help you out i'll give you some stats...

Currently i am 5'2,

waist 96cm
hips 118cm
chest 119cm

According to my scales i weigh 95kg.

The measurements for the dress are...

waist 80cm
hips 101cm
chest 100cm

So according to that I need to lose 16cm from my waist, 17cm from my hips and 19cm from my chest.

Is it do-able?

Looking at my stats now and what they need to be what sort of a goal weight am I looking at?

I don't want to take my calorie consumption under 1000/day as I think that is just dangerous, but I am prepared to spend a lot of time in the gym doing a mix of cardio for fat loss and weight training for toning.

I would really appreciate some advice!

Loads of thanks!

~Selina~
 
Wow that's some predicament you are in!I'd love to help but I'm new on the forum myself.I would recommend that you have a picture of the dress posted all over your house and vehicle so that you can see it whenever you might be losing focus of your goal.Hope that helps.Do you have the dress already?
 
1. Find a really good tailor.
2. Tell your firiend of the predicament and find a different dress - sell the original dress.

Losing weight is a good thing to do - but you want to do it in a sensible way... in 9 weeks time with reasonable diet and exercise you could probable lose 15-20lbs... but there's no way of telling where that weight will come off -you cannot spot reduce..
 
Your friend should not have bought any article of clothing for you without at least verifying your current measurements. Let's hope she realizes her error and simply eats the $800 loss. You should not have to compensate her for that.

However, I don't believe you will be able to go from a 20 to a 14 in 9 weeks, even IF you starved yourself, which you should not do under any circumstances.

I've lost 40 lbs in a little over 3 months, started off in a size 20, and am still not a size 14. I've lost weight a bit more quickly than some, too. I probably won't be a size 14 until Christmas.

Basically, you need to get a new dress. You can't lose enough to even let out a 14 to fit you in 9 weeks. I'm sorry.
 
You're right aren't you? Dammit!

I worked out that I would need to get down to 80kg. I'm pretty sure that's where I was at last time I fitted into a 14. Today my scales are telling me a much nicer 93.2 (I had been eating like CRAP before I made the 95kg weigh in), but even with that it's 13.2kg to lose in 9 weeks.

If my maintenance level is currently 2870 (205lb times 14...that's the right calculation isn't it?) then with a restriction of 1643cal a day (which is what fitday tells me I would need) I could do it. Hmmm....the practicalities of that....

I could eat 1227 calories a day. That isn't too far out of reach...

But obviously as my weight gets lower my maintenance level gets lower so I would have to lower more calorie intake (or exercise more).

I know it was really really stupid of her to buy the dress without asking - but our whole lives we've been exactly the same size. She just didn't think. The problem is, she's bought all of the other bridesmaids dresses as well. They're quite unique so it would be very difficult for me to find something similar and how daft would it be to have one bridesmaid in a totally different dress!?

I'm going to try. I'm not going to make myself sick or do something stupid but i'm just going to give it my best shot. If I don't make it down to the 14? I'll still be at the wedding! Only in a different dress and not standing with all the other bridesmaids! - just point out here my friend has a picture perfect idea of how everything should look, it would be a fallacy to have an unmatched bridesmaid, pathetic i know, but i love her! - But if I do get down to the 14, hope and pray, then it'll be all the better!

Wish me well....i'm gonna be needing some pretty hardcore focus!
 
txsqlchick said:
Your friend should not have bought any article of clothing for you without at least verifying your current measurements. Let's hope she realizes her error and simply eats the $800 loss. You should not have to compensate her for that.

However, I don't believe you will be able to go from a 20 to a 14 in 9 weeks, even IF you starved yourself, which you should not do under any circumstances.

I've lost 40 lbs in a little over 3 months, started off in a size 20, and am still not a size 14. I've lost weight a bit more quickly than some, too. I probably won't be a size 14 until Christmas.

Basically, you need to get a new dress. You can't lose enough to even let out a 14 to fit you in 9 weeks. I'm sorry.
Click to expand...

yep and i wanted to point out i've been in a 14 since summer and despite losing another 20 lbs since about august, my size has NOT changed. It gets more comfy, but this again goes to not knowing where it will come off. I've lost most of that 20 lbs on my legs, but and upper body, but not my waist or hips so that i can move down a size. Conceivably, I may not switch sizes still for another 25 lbs or so. you just can not predict where and how you will lose it. For some people the waist and hips are just the last place to budge and those areas make a huge difference when it comes to sizing. i've found it almost maddening to be in the same size despite the weight loss.
 
seliwyma said:
You're right aren't you? Dammit!

I worked out that I would need to get down to 80kg. I'm pretty sure that's where I was at last time I fitted into a 14. Today my scales are telling me a much nicer 93.2 (I had been eating like CRAP before I made the 95kg weigh in), but even with that it's 13.2kg to lose in 9 weeks.

If my maintenance level is currently 2870 (205lb times 14...that's the right calculation isn't it?) then with a restriction of 1643cal a day (which is what fitday tells me I would need) I could do it. Hmmm....the practicalities of that....

I could eat 1227 calories a day. That isn't too far out of reach...

But obviously as my weight gets lower my maintenance level gets lower so I would have to lower more calorie intake (or exercise more).

I know it was really really stupid of her to buy the dress without asking - but our whole lives we've been exactly the same size. She just didn't think. The problem is, she's bought all of the other bridesmaids dresses as well. They're quite unique so it would be very difficult for me to find something similar and how daft would it be to have one bridesmaid in a totally different dress!?

I'm going to try. I'm not going to make myself sick or do something stupid but i'm just going to give it my best shot. If I don't make it down to the 14? I'll still be at the wedding! Only in a different dress and not standing with all the other bridesmaids! - just point out here my friend has a picture perfect idea of how everything should look, it would be a fallacy to have an unmatched bridesmaid, pathetic i know, but i love her! - But if I do get down to the 14, hope and pray, then it'll be all the better!

Wish me well....i'm gonna be needing some pretty hardcore focus!
Click to expand...


Word to the wise, you should at least let your friend know that you can't fit into the dress so she can be prepared for that eventuality. Trust me as a bride and all the stress of planning--nothing will irritate and frustrate her more then an 11th hour confession of the 'dress doesn't fit'. LET HER KNOW NOW and that you plan to give it your best shot. But, I would reassses after 6 weeks(3 weeks before the wedding) how things are looking and let her know so alternative arrangement can be made. Good luck.
 
Hi Angel,

Don't worry, I let her know straight away. She was pretty upset, that's why I said i'd try my best!

I've had two days of low cal high exercise and i'm not feeling as bad as I thought I would. I'm going to eat regularly throughout the day so I don't get very hungry, but when I eat it'll be loads of raw veg (I love sugar snap peas so they'll be high on the agenda!). Making sure I get some protein for lunch so I don't totally bum out (it's good cause it really makes you feel full), and i'm trying to have good dinners, just modified - anything that used to be on rice is now on lettuce or spinach - no oil in cooking - vegetarian instead of with chicken - MUCH smaller portions!

Fingers crossed!
 
angel98 said:
yep and i wanted to point out i've been in a 14 since summer and despite losing another 20 lbs since about august, my size has NOT changed. It gets more comfy, but this again goes to not knowing where it will come off. I've lost most of that 20 lbs on my legs, but and upper body, but not my waist or hips so that i can move down a size. Conceivably, I may not switch sizes still for another 25 lbs or so. you just can not predict where and how you will lose it. For some people the waist and hips are just the last place to budge and those areas make a huge difference when it comes to sizing. i've found it almost maddening to be in the same size despite the weight loss.
Click to expand...

Oh I know, it's so annoying! I had to lose almost 25 pounds to drop the first size, but it only took 15 to drop the next one. Now that one is baggy on me. Plus, I'm not "deflating" in the same way I "inflated", i.e. me getting smaller is not the exact reverse of how I got big. My gut was the last thing to pop up on my bod, but even though it's smaller I am not back to the flat abdomen I once enjoyed at this weight/size.
 
angel98 said:
Word to the wise, you should at least let your friend know that you can't fit into the dress so she can be prepared for that eventuality. Trust me as a bride and all the stress of planning--nothing will irritate and frustrate her more then an 11th hour confession of the 'dress doesn't fit'. LET HER KNOW NOW and that you plan to give it your best shot. But, I would reassses after 6 weeks(3 weeks before the wedding) how things are looking and let her know so alternative arrangement can be made. Good luck.
Click to expand...

My ex sister-in-law asked me to be in her wedding but had never seen me. Eh...I weighed more than my top weight on my ticker back then; I was probably closer to 275. (I lost some weight in England before returning to the US.) She wanted to put me in some slinky little silk number and wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally I just said in plain English: "I am a big fattie and would need probably a size 24-26 in that dress. NOW do you understand why I don't want to wreck your wedding pictures?" She got it. Didn't change the dresses though; I simply wasn't in the wedding. :piggy:

She was suuuuuuuuuuuch a bitch.
 
Wow...that's really harsh!

I know my mate wouldn't do that! But at the same time I know she'll be disappointed to have the "look" spoiled.

Isn't it funny how women get about their weddings!?!?

Fortunately this is a pretty loose fitting dress so my big belly isn't the issue. It's the weight on the chest/upper back that i need to drop off the most. Normally I wear tops a size smaller than pants so there's a glimmer of hope!
 
I wanted to agree with angel.. my last diet attempt which flopped when I gave up... I lost about 30lbs in about 4 weeks.. I did it in a healthy way on 6 week body make over and exercised by walking 4 or 5 miles daily.. but to the point my size didn't move at all.. i was an 18 at the time and weighed 230.. I got down to 202 and the 18 was still the same.. everything was fitting better but there was no change.. But we all lose differently..I hope you the best but try not to set yourself up for dissappoint me or harm urself in the process
 
seliwyma said:
Wow...that's really harsh!

I know my mate wouldn't do that! But at the same time I know she'll be disappointed to have the "look" spoiled.

Isn't it funny how women get about their weddings!?!?

Fortunately this is a pretty loose fitting dress so my big belly isn't the issue. It's the weight on the chest/upper back that i need to drop off the most. Normally I wear tops a size smaller than pants so there's a glimmer of hope!
Click to expand...

Women get psychotic about weddings. It's really sad what they'll gripe about when they're doing something most of the rest of us would LOVE to be doing.

I was married once, and I wasn't a bridezilla. My two bridesmaids went shopping together and picked their dresses themselves. All I told them was "can't be white" and "you both have to like it." I knew they'd choose something appropriate, and they did. Both of them have worn the dresses many times since, too. The dresses lasted longer than the marriage did. I let them pick their own shoes too; all I said was they had to be black or brown. One of them wore black strappy sandals and the other wore black pumps. They didn't wreck the pictures; nobody is looking at their feet. :rotflmao:

As for the weight loss, you cannot choose where the fat comes off and it won't even come off in the reverse order as it came on. For example, if the most recent change you noticed was your arms getting bigger, it's not as if your arms will get smaller first, if that makes any sense. Your bod is going to lose the weight however it wants to and there's nothing you can do about that. For example, I've lost a lot of inches off the hips to the point where the proportion of my figure has changed. I've been a pear since puberty but I now have to change the cut of jeans I wear because even the ones that fit are baggy in the seat. Wasn't expecting that!
 
i_will_not_fail said:
I wanted to agree with angel.. my last diet attempt which flopped when I gave up... I lost about 30lbs in about 4 weeks.. I did it in a healthy way on 6 week body make over and exercised by walking 4 or 5 miles daily.. but to the point my size didn't move at all.. i was an 18 at the time and weighed 230.. I got down to 202 and the 18 was still the same.. everything was fitting better but there was no change.. But we all lose differently..I hope you the best but try not to set yourself up for dissappoint me or harm urself in the process
Click to expand...

I can't imagine losing 30 lbs in 4 weeks can be done in a healthy way.
 
txsqlchick said:
I can't imagine losing 30 lbs in 4 weeks can be done in a healthy way.
Click to expand...

in fact it was very healthy.. very restrictive.. have you ever heard of 6 week body makeover? it's all very fresh and healthy food.. no salt and pretty much only water to drink (and 100oz of it a day).. i ate 6 small meals throughout the day.. when i first started i thought i would actually gain weight bc i was eating soo much.. but it was specialized to my body so thats why it came off so quickly.. different body types have specific foods to make your body lose weight... i couldnt believe it either.. and i didnt kill myself w exercise either i walked about 2 miles or 2 and half miles twice day.. i wish i could do it again but its really hard and restrictive for my on the go life..
 
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