All over the place - here I am.
Hi Matt & Splish, thanks 4 stopping by!
I think that's because I have been waiting to move it down until I was steadily below the weight I move it to. Idk just a suggestion but w/e works for you And w/e way gives you the most postive/ motivating feeling
bc I think that's the point of a ticker... to keep you motivated and postive!
That's a good idea, thanks. I'll try it that way.
Also, too bad about the gym pic! I'm pretty sure I look constipated in mine because I was trying to smile but I was actually annoyed because the guy doing the photo couldnt figure out how to do it and suggsted I come back later after my workout. When I told him I wasnt working out that day (in makeup, no thanks!), he finally got a lady who worked there longer to take the pic, had to re-spell out my last name twice, and finally got the snap.
Plus, have been eating like crazy lately. Not sure why. Boredom, nerves about my upcoming trip?
Yesterday included hot dogs, donuts, several cans of Diet Coke, chai tea latte, chocolate bars, I just couldn't get the High I was looking for. I felt very very much like a junkie drug addict. Not to make light of their situation but I felt so worthless. I'm sure its much much harder to deal with a drug problem. I learned at an early age to avoid drugs (not from first hand experience) but sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be easier than *this* just because at least its social and people think you're cool and skinny rather than fat and pathetic. Sigh. But I am too old to trade this vice for another and too poor to afford rehab at a fancy clinic, so no drugs it is.
A little update...
I am lonely. Those of you who have boyfriends or husbands to support you, count your blessings, you don't know how lucky you are.
I've joined some meetup groups to try to meet new people. It is unbelievably hard after college and high school to make friends, the older you get, the less frequently you'll be able to get together with acquaintances, making it that much harder to turn them into friends. Like spinning gold out of hay. To anyone who is young enough, may I offer the same advice I will give my children some day, if I ever have any:
Appreciate the ability you have to meet people now. You see the same people every day, giving you a chance to slowly build up a repetoire (sp?). You don't know it now, because you've never known anything different, and it seems normal to you to see the same people every day. Take advantage of it, and be good to the friends you have. Support them through tough times, and talk about your feelings so they are not confused about why you seem down around them - make sure they know it's not about them. Try to stand up for yourself without bringing anyone else down. Always stand up for yourself, and always be true to yourself. You will never regret being yourself, because if other people don't understand than they are just too judgmental. But if you try to be someone else, you will always regret that, especially when you meet people later in life, who did be true to themselves, and who you wouldve had something in common with if you hadnt pretended to be someone else. Be kind, even when life isn't. Be hopeful and optimistic - and when you can't, imagine yourself on your deathbed and ask what you would like to have had your life be like. Remember that its your life and no one elses - you are not a pawn in someone elses chessboard, you are the main player in your own.
I know its cheesy but if only I had known half the things I do now when I was a teenager, I might have been a 100 times happier. Too late for that now...only thing to do is move on.
I have a new plan in addition to the meetup groups, for how my life should go, after I go away to Greece (only a week away!!):
-+-Docent training at the Zoo every other Friday, until April. After April, I'll be a weekend docent, which is when the younger docents participate, since they have weekday jobs. I plan to relax during this activity, have fun with it, and meet new friends.
-+-Temp job as a paralegal to make money for two things: new car in my own name (not like how I share my pink slip with parents now) to gain independence; and for the really big purchase, save money for a house. I might as well take advantage of living rent free. I don't want to be a paralegal forever, but its alright, and I am pretty good at doing admin and research type things so. Also being a temp might give me a way to have a part time job, which I'd need in order to get every other friday free.
-+-Take sewing lessons in the evenings or on weekends when I can. I really like fashion but dont like to budget for it. I'd also love to have a more interesting hobby for late nights when I can't sleep than just collages with magazine clippings.
And that's all, folks.
Now I'm going back to watch the US OPEN with my parents, why? Because Im PMSing and its labor day weekend and theres nothing to do anyway.
on the fruit huh. 
