Smarty's Diary for Sweating

S

Sweat4health25

New member
I'm starting a diary today and I am in a whimsical mood, hence the title.
My name is actually, Ashley. Not Actually, as my little neighbor Steven used to call me. :)

I am at my last week of my current job (THANK GOD I HATE IT!) I'm a receptionist but cannot stand having to answer the phone and chitchat with people--its' all such bs.


Anyhow I've not worked out (save for using the stairs rather than the elevator, two or three times a day-which does not, in my opinion, count) in about a week or two. I was running and swimming for a while and then I kind of got sidetracked. Starting partying, drinking, sleeping in more.

Stopped eating anything recognizable as a meal, unless you count 1/2 bag of chips or a box of candy a meal.

I think its primarily because I stopped eating breakfast in an attempt to follow a very low cal diet. (The Apple-Grapefruit one mentioned earlier).

Today I was determined to eat breakfast although I barely slept and got up late. I had a bowl of oatmeal with two mushrooms, and had a subway sandwich for lunch: 6" honey oat, turkey, lettuce, tomato, amer. cheese, dry.

I'm bored with food. Why must we eat ? It's such a nuisance. Couldnt we all just hook up to IVs and go about our lives?
I'm in a melancholy mood today. Some of that is predicated upon the fact that I anticipate some major changes in my life soon--to be told at a later date--and also probably because I've deluged my system with alcohol.

Part of it is because my roommate and I had planned a trip to go camping but she got too drunk one night and fell and cut open her knee and so she wanted me to hang out all weekend, and to be honest, it felt like babysitting, and it kind of felt like having a needy girlfriend or boyfriend. So I feel like my weekend was wasted INSIDE instead of out running or doing what I wanted to do. Its not her fault but its a Big Bummer.

Ugh.
Okay, I'll write more later.
 
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Second Post, In Regret and Remorse

Oh, woe is me! She whimpered...


I am also irritated and AFRAID that i've let a whole summer slip by without working on improving my tennis skills. I'm letting my whole life slide by. Pretty soon I'll be an old fart with nothing to show for it. Oh, I'm so depressed.

I think I've spent too long in this languid picture-postcard town. I anticipate moving to a city soon, where I will prey upon the art and music and people watch and take part in all the swirling madness that I so crave that fills me up and makes me whole. I miss it.

The phrase "The busiest people get the most done" was written for me--I get NOTHING done when I'm bored or have excess time, I simply find it depressing and lonely--I like to be on the go, go go.

I am moving to Philadelphia, and then hopefully DC, if I get a job there.
We'll see. I am nervous about it all, but happy with the choice I've made to take my situation and change it, as scary as change is, to try to make it coincide with my dream scenario and lifestyle.
 
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Hi. Welcome to WLF and to your diary.

The first step is making the decision to change as nervewracking it may be. Good luck with all the impending changes coming into your life:)

~Jenna
 
I'm BACK!

Thank you. The past month has been hectic, nerve wracking and relatively busy for the most part. My sleep and eating patterns are way off from stress and anxiety but I am going to a personal trainer 3x a week, at the least. I am seeing a counseler to help with the stress because I am the type that keeps it all in until it starts to manifest itself physically in pyschosomatic stress syndromes and that has started happening with me. They say that Stoics like me tend to die of degenerative diseases so I want to learn how to let it out and navigate my world better.

I got accepted into a program in DC and am looking to move there soon.
I have some stress because the lease is not finalized yet and I need to start showing the place to prospective roommates. I also need to move my belongings, add some furniture, and most importantly find a job.

I am lonely, but I know the future is bright and I am moving toward new goals and experiences that will make my life richer. I am excited but also nervous to go back to school. (Its night school).

Ashley

I dont know what my weight is, but I think its gone up. despite the fact that my abs seem to have more definition. (Or maybe I'm imagining it because my trainer makes me do so many hard abs workouts! and I can FEEL the pain!)

My Moods today are SAD but DETERMINED!
 
DIARY of Foods - Headache Mania

Ugh I detest this part.

I woke up today before my personal training session and ate a Stoneybrook farm 4 oz yogurt with fruit on the bottom, after my PT I went to a coffeehouse to read and had a big brownie and a huge latte, iced.
THen I made pasta, (with spinach and olive oil, white wine, and tons of parsley) and ate about 3 portions or so, until I was stuffed full. I had a big bowl of ice cream after that. Boy am i eating like a nervous wreck today. Then I later had 2 hotdogs with two small tomatoes as toppings, diced. THEN I went to the store and bought a piece of chocolate cake, ate it in two sittings, it was too big to eat all at once, to give you an idea--it was about 4 inches by 4 inches! THEN - I ate two slices of American Cheese. I also had lemonade and a lot of water. I feel sickly, I have headaches, I am often eating CRACKERS, TWIX BARS, CHOCALATEY STUFF, popsicles, ice cream, coffee, pound cake, no wonder i feel so $hitty.

Wow, I didnt realize how disproportionate the good and bad foods ratio was until i wrote this, I knew I was sneaking, but WHOA I ve been sneaking WAAY more than I realized!!!!
 
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:hug2: Weight this morning still stable, hasnt gone up. I guess the pt and the overeating balanced each other out, but I dont want to live like this! I really want to be Strong and Healthy.

:confused: 154.5. this afternoon:jump:
:confused: 157 last night :sleeping:

I'm a little confused but I guess its water weight.

Need to walk the dog, and go see my Counselor, so I'll sign off here.
 
Gave Up Coffee. Sweet! plus Extra Sleep.

One of my goals last year was to give up coffee. I have been coffee free for about a month and a half. This is really good because it make me crave sweet foods. Also, my sleep has improved from 5-6 hrs a night to 9 hrs a night. I feel better and my acne is going away. Oh did I mention the air in the Beltway areas in horribly polluted and does *not* do wonders for thy skin? I started breaking out when i moved from Colorado to DC. I live in Philadelphia now and perhaps its the cleaner air or the lack of stress but my skin is improving. I really think its mostly sleep thats doing the trick. They didnt coin "beauty rest" for nothin' my friends.

My next goal is to give up SODA....oh, its so hard. I get headaches :troll: when I try cold turkey. I never understood how to "cut back" The term seemd strange to me.

Q: Can I have caffeinated beverages on the Program?
A: Yes. If you are a heavy coffee, soda or tea drinker, you may want to consider cutting back – especially if it interferes with your milk or water intake. If you choose to decrease your caffeine intake, do so gradually – cutting your intake in half each week, to avoid caffeine-withdrawal related symptoms.


I found this nice little nugget on Jenny Craig's website this morning and am happy, as I have new plan. New Plan: begin with one 20 oz soda a day. I believe now I drink 20 oz a day. Next week, cut in half, and next week again, until I stop.

:nopity: thanks for your pity!
 
I have heard that you shouldn't weigh yourself more than once a day (maybe I'll take up this advice myself one day! :)), but it's good advice. Your weight fluctuates greatly during the day and is generally higher later in the day, I think.

WillLose60
 
Hello!

Hi! Thanks for adding me as your friend, that was nice :grouphug: Hope all is well :patriot:

Sweat4health25 said:
:confused: 154.5. this afternoon:jump:
:confused: 157 last night :sleeping:

I'm a little confused but I guess its water weight.
Click to expand...

Your weight flucuates greatly throughout the day, mine usually does by 5 pounds. To get an accurate weigh in, weigh yourself once every morning while nude (or minimal clothing, lol) after you go to the bathroom :) Hope that helps clear things up.

Sweat4health25 said:
My next goal is to give up SODA....oh, its so hard. I get headaches :troll: when I try cold turkey. I never understood how to "cut back" The term seemd strange to me.
Click to expand...

Good luck on this! It's one of my goals as well! Well.. sort of. I'm cutting out Coca-cola, since that's the only soda I drink. But when I'm really REALLY craving soda, I'll have a diet sierra mist or sprite. :) I know how hard it can be, good luck!
 
Workout Music !! *

This is a great upbeat music list to work out to:

Yeah yeah yeah s -down boy
the Distillers- beat your heart out
Brighty Eyes -love i dont have to love
Senses Fail -martini kiss
City and colour -the girl
the kooks -Ooh la
MGMT -weekend wars

:auto:

Metro Station -shake it
frightened rabbit -My backwards walk
the killers -When you were young
The pixies -Where is my mind
Chiodos – expired in goreville
deathcab for cutie – the sound of settleing
Crystal castles -crimewave
Sensses Fail -still searching
Panic at the Disco - the only difference between
deathcab -I will follow you into the dark

*list i stole from a friend of an exfriend ! :sifone:
too bad suckahs!
 
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July.

Hello all, just spent the weekend chasing my niece and nephew around. :seeya: Great fun. But...also tiring!! :ack2: Ate fairly healthy as did not want to seem like a fat pig in front of my brother and fam. Had a soda yesterday, and I think two days before that. Seems I am drinking soda now every other day instead of twice or three times a day - good progress. I try to drink it only with food, so as to delete the cravings it causes for salty foods like fast food.

Have been eating at this affordable Japanese place near my house that has Miso soup ($2) and sushi rolls ($4). I like this food and it fills me up. I usu. have a beer with it, so dont want to overdo this habit.

Not exercising much, but walking the dog for longer walks. Gardening a little.

On a good sleep cycle.
 
:waving: Back again...

This morning I woke up and had a strong craving for a bagel and cream cheese.
Ate a cheeseburger instead with lettuce and tomato on a bun, with chocolate milk instead of soda or coffee.

Don't know if this is good or bad...meat and cheese have protein, right?

Stilll crave the bagel.

Even after eating...

...2....

bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ouch. :piggy:
 
Today, dropped some things off at the Goodwill near my home, picked up my tax form from them. Loaded dishes. Fed dog. Bought new dog food. BLAH. Miss my friends and being around peers. Living at home until grad school. Hopefully that will be Fall 2010.

Food : Toasted bagel, creamcheese
1 bowl ice cream
1 1/2 donuts with sprinkles and icing
3 slices cheese
2 hotdogs, ketchup
3 handfuls pretzel bites
Soda - 1 1/2 bottles
Water - 1 bottle

Unusual for me to eat so much by the afternoon, particularly the donuts.
 
Last night: lettuce with tuna fish from can
Tonight: sushi, the mini kind from store: half cucumber half raw salmon. Will eat with soy sauce and wasabi.
 
Great!

Am very excited to be maintaining within my BMI.
Am happy to be approaching the 40s again!! I love being in the 40s!
That's when I sort of look at my body and think, "well, if I had to live with this body for the rest of my life, I'd be okay with that." It's not super skinny like I dream of, but it's good enough. It's when boys start to pay attention to me again, with looks and asking me out. It's happiness in a bottle. ;)

:party:

I am also on two medications - one is hormones to keep my periods regular, and to help clear my skin - I use a Yaz substitute. I had a lot of stomach problems when I first started taking it, and it says in the instructions that this is common but is supposed to go away after one to three months, and this is about the fourth month and I am starting to feel better, stomach wise.

I am going to a stomach doctor on Sept 3. just to be sure it is not an ulcer or something more serious.

I have stopped drinking very much soda. I replaced it with 100% cranberry juice (just a little amount) in a glass full of s.perrier which is expensive but it comes in a glass bottle and is very tasty - also glass is better for the environment since animals dont eat it, but they do often eat plastics and die from it.

Anyhow. I have stopped my non-coffee drinking habit, which worked for about two or three months. I now drink coffee once every two to three weeks, which is the only times when I really crave it now. And when I have the craving, I have it. I bought an Eco-cup for $8 at Borders which is a porcelein replica of the Starbucks type cardboard throwaway cups and which is great because you just wash and reuse. I try to drink Chai tea instead of coffee when I can.

Eating slightly more vegetables and a lot less candy. Still eat chocolate. Still eat some ice cream.
Bagel with cream cheese and burrito with hot sauce are my two cravings that fill me up a lot so I dont snack during the day, but not a lot of vegetables there - just the lettuce on the burrito. Sometimes I put cucumber slices, red onions and green peppers on a turkey sandwich with cheese. I like the Subway ones a lot, because of the bread but make my own sometimes. I also like applesauce sometimes and occasionally make my own home-made guacamole to eat with some corn chips and that has avocado, tomato, green pepper, red onion and lemon. Also we are growing zucchinis in our yard, and blueberries. I am eating some fruit salad sometimes. I also was eating a lot of yogurt but stopped because of all my stomach upset. I also had a very good sish at a restaurant- hommus on pita bread with some kind of greens, not lettuce but maybe mesclun. I will ask the restaurant. Very tasty.

In other news, my doctor adjusted the amount of Luvox I am taking and put me back on the brand name drug instead of the generic version. I already feel much more energy. My dose was actually lowered, but sometimes when you take too much, it makes you very tired. It actually said on my bottle, this can cause drowsiness. The science of the body is very mysterious. Glad I'm not a doctor. What a difficult field.

I feel so good, I went out and bought a speedo bathing suit (the biggest size they had :cuss: - a 38 - but it fit so that's good. Its a snug fit, but it fits. I hope it fits better soon. :smilielol5: I bought some goggles and will go swimming at my community pool tomorrow, which has lap swimming lanes. Yay. I like swimming, it is hard at first but it makes your stomach and arms feel so good after and sometimes even your legs start to feel that sort of relaxed-sore-I can sleep now-but not hurting-sore feeling after. Like "ahhhh...I can't move" so relaxed.

Well I love you all on this forum. Oh gag, sappy gooey gooey sap sap.
:ack2:

No, really, I love you.

:rolleyes:
 
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Update on Job Prospects

Have found a volunteer position in my field and gained an interview on Aug 24. I hope they take me. Sounds like they want to. So far so good. Maybe this good news has made me less depressed.
 
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