Slave to my Addictions. . .

slickzchik

slickzchik

0
So i'm sure many of you have seen me here n there around the forum since 2006. My story is similar to many on here. I've been struggling with my weight for a long time. I've had bouts of anorexia when i was younger, tried atkins, sureslim, blah blah the list goes on.

Anyhow, there is a lot unhealthy habits that have made their way into my lifestlyle. I have a very addictive personality and will power is not my strong suit.

I really don't want to be a slave to my addicitions anymore. . .

The one I have struggled with the longest and most desperately is my addiction to food and my inability to maintain a healthy body weight.

So, I want to do it right this time. The lifestyle change. My goal is to make very small, gradual changes in my diet. Usually when I try to this I get excited about my weight loss and start getting stricter and stricter until i get hardcore cravings, give into it and then say "well i already blew it so i might as well do the whole deal now". I'm going to try to be very moderate with my changes, stick to them, and take the weight off slowly and surely.

Ok I know this turned into a bit of a rant :toetap05:

My goals:
1. To eat more healthy foods
2. To eat less unhealthy foods
3. Drink more water
4. Drink less pop, juice etc.
5. Lose weight
6. Improve physical fitness

I want to record my efforts in this diary so I can look back and see what went wrong, what went right, etc.

Feel free to comment, criticize, empathize- whatever!

My starting weight- 288 lbs.
My weight starting this diary - 277.2 lbs

Okay so heres today

September 30, 2008

Breakfast: 4 pieces of turkey bacon, 2 slices of cinnamon raisin toast with a scraping margarine, 1 cup clingstone peaches (canned in juice)
Lunch: Footlong Subway turkey breast sandwhich on Italian herbs n cheese (With lettuce, tomato, cucumber, olives and a little caesar dressing) and one glass homemade iced tea
@ Work: one glass iced tea with 2 lemon wedges
Dinner: 1 bowl of vegetable soup with challah (jewish bread) with cheese melted on it. And 1/2 cup of cranberry juice mixed with water.

Exercise: 35 minutes on the elliptical at the gym (500 calories burned according to the display)

:hat: I'm feeling good about today. I didn't eat anything really unhealthy and i felt very satisfied. Well i think i've officially tired this post out. Till tomorrow then! ~ Slickzchik xox
 
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You have the right attitude. Small gradual changes work. Sort of a ratchet effect. Make one change - click -keep it for a bit then make another change - click - keep both and so on. eventually you've changed all of the things that need changing, without feeling like it was too much and giving up.
 
October 1, 2008

Breakfast: 4 pieces turkey bacon, 1 bowl of honey bunches of oats with almonds, 2% milk, 1 banana

Lunch: 2 Mountain Bread Pizzas (2 Mountain bread rye wraps with classico tomato sauce, low fat cheddar, onions, olives, and tomato)

@ Work: A few bits of veggie rice pilaf and grilled chicken that my boss made for the staff, 1 Cup of coffee with milk and 2 and 1/2 teaspoons of sugar

Dinner: 2 frozen chicken strips with sweet n sour dip, 1 macaroni and cheese cup, and a large salad with lettuce, cabbage, tomatos, cucumbers, onions, lite italian dressing and some grated cheese

..It was girls nite so I had 3 drinks, each with 2 shots of smirnoff vodka and crystal lite.

Exercise: 40 minute walk with my sister and the poochie.

I probably could've done better with my workout but i did break a good sweat on the walk- we keep a good pace. I am committing to a higher intensity workout at the gym tomorrow though! :patriot:
 
October 2, 2008


Food for today:

Breakfast: 4 whole wheat saltines with low fat cheese and a tangerine

Lunch: Sushi- it was all you can eat with my sister, my mom and couple of friends. The good things is the rolls are small so you can have a little bit of everything- the bad thing is ayce doesn't generally encourage having a little bit. It is something we like to do so I have to learn how not to really eat all i can. I decided what i would eat before hand and stuck to it, so i guess i am happy about that. I had 3 pieces of salmon nigiri, 2 gyozas, 1 spicy chicken wing, 3 small pieces of kappa (cucumber) roll and 3 small pieces of spicy tuna roll, and two miso soups. It sounds like it alot written all out, but it all fit on the little plate they give you so somehow that comforted me

@ Work: A bagel toasted with lite salmon flavored cream cheese and a cup of chicken broth, and a small glass of iced tea with lemon wedges.

Dinner: 1/2 of a frozen thin crust mozeralla pizza (440 cals) and a macaroni cup with a little grated low fat cheddar, and a cup of canned peaches. After dinner I also had a big bowl of popcorn with butter and white cheddar powder. :piggy::(

I know I didn't eat well today. And now my stomach is getting revenge for it! But there's nothing I can do but eat healthier tomorrow- and get a good workout @ the gym of course!:willy_nilly:

Exercise: I did 35 minutes on the elliptical trainer. According to the display I burned 515 calories- right around the same number for yesterday. Yesterday I did the interval setting and today I did hill climb, and I know was working alot harder. I was sweating more and my heart rate was up higher (the monitor on the machine today was broken but I could feel it). I picked the one facing the gym down below and watched people play basketball. I think it made me work a little harder because I used to play basketball in elementary and highschool and I'd really like to be fit and be able to play again! A little dream to keep me going...

..Slickzchik
 
Actually the only thing that didn't look like it fit there was the popcorn with butter. Everything else seemed pretty good. You made up for it at the gym, so its all good. Breakfast looked a little thin, you shouldn't starve yourself, because then you'll be more likely to break. just eat better quality food. Instead of a few crackers and cheese in the morning, go for a whole bowl of oatmeal. You'll feel more full for longer, be less likely to grab a bad snack, and actually have some decent stuff in your system to work off of.

Just a thought...
 
reluctantcabbie said:
Actually the only thing that didn't look like it fit there was the popcorn with butter. Everything else seemed pretty good. You made up for it at the gym, so its all good. Breakfast looked a little thin, you shouldn't starve yourself, because then you'll be more likely to break. just eat better quality food. Instead of a few crackers and cheese in the morning, go for a whole bowl of oatmeal. You'll feel more full for longer, be less likely to grab a bad snack, and actually have some decent stuff in your system to work off of.

Just a thought...
Click to expand...

your definetly right! i felt so much hungrier throughout the day compared to the days i had a full balanced breakfast :pumpkin:
 
You were one of the first people to post in my diary. I see you're around and I really want you to succeed. If you ever need any advice or support let me know! :D

I love the WLF family! :coolgleamA:
 
nc_bmac08 said:
You were one of the first people to post in my diary. I see you're around and I really want you to succeed. If you ever need any advice or support let me know! :D

I love the WLF family! :coolgleamA:
Click to expand...

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that. I have been on this forum a long time even though i don't post that often. I'm really hoping I'm going to succeed this time taking it nice and slow.




:pumpkin: Alrighty so my goal for the end of October was to be in the 260's (under 270). And I did get there a couple of days ago but today I weighed in at 270.2 :p Does that still count lol?

Well my goal for next month is to be in the 250's (under 260). In order to step things up I'm really going to try to amp up the exercise which I have been slacking off abit in October. I think this will help we reach my goal next month. :pumpkin:

So these are my goals for November:

1. Weigh 259 or less at the end of the month
2. Exercise more- come up with a plan and stick to it.
3. Going out to eat - This is a habit I'm really trying to kick! Not only is the majority of food I go out to eat high in calories/sugar/fat, the environment encourages me to overeat/drink, and its really not good on my budget either. Of course I will go out to eat sometimes, but I had been in the habit of eating out several times a week. I made some good progress on cutting back this month and want to continue in november.

Well wish me luck!

xox Slickzchik :eek:
 
Seeing as the title of my diary is slave to my addictions, i thought today I would write about how the WLF comes into play with that.

Food is my addiction, and the WLF is my sponsor. Take right now for example. My girlfriends are over and they are all eating. It smells really good but I already ate so I shouldn't be eating again especially this late. I was considering just having some, but then I ended up coming on here. And, voila! I resisted.

Just coming on here and reading peoples diaries helps remind me what I'm fighting for and the reasons I'm trying to lose weight. I'm going to really try to come on every time I have a craving.

So, thank you to everyone who shares their personal journies with us on this board. Because by doing so your helping me with my own journey!

xox Slick
 
Hey there! You know, I see you post in other people's diaries, I think, more often than in your own. Open up and put your thoughts down, like in the last post. I find it to be a real stress reliever sometimes to just rant sometimes.

BTW, good call on distracting yourself with motivation to stay away from food you didn't need.
 
reluctantcabbie - thanks! i know your right I always end up lurking around other peoples diaries because it is more interesting! but i know if everybody did that then there would be no diaries to read. But thanks for always supporting me since the beginning even though i don't post very often. It's really nice to have a friend like you on the boards :seeya:

So today for breakfast I had
Pancakes (260 cal) with strawberries in lite syrup(70 cal) and 4 slices turkey bacon (140 cal)

For lunch I am going out to AYCE sushi with my friends. But I have a plan: I already decided what I am going to eat beforehand so I won't eat too much. And I am only eating salmon nigiri, kappa and spicy tuna, miso soup and maybe a bite of chicken teriyaki. So no fried foods or gyozas (i always tend to overeat gyozas).

Today is my day off so it is harder to me to stick to my eating plan because I find myself wanting to eat of boredom. So I'm going to try to keep busy.

Also, tomorrow I'm going to try the aquatic fitness class at the rec centre. I think it will be good for me since I have tendonitis/bruisitis (sp?) in my shoulder and I used to do spin classes but it agravated it. So a low impact water workout sounds like it might be a good fit. If I like it I am going to commit to going to 3 classes a week for the month. I will let you know tomorrow how it went.

TTYL!

SLiCKzChiK
 
Hello :)

It's my first time dropping by here. You've stopped by my journal a few times and I truly appreciate it.

You have the right mindset: this is a lifestyle change. Small goals are JUST what you need. When we go crazy and do it all, that's where I usually mess up and stop :-X

You seem to be eating pretty healthy and you're definitely getting in the exercise, which is such a huge part! You seem well on the way :)

You can do this :) The fact that you're trying again shows you're determined. If we fail, we try again. We will succeed at some point.

Keep up the great work! :)
 
gohomejes - thanks for dropping in I appreciate the support!

Okay so I'm just going to fess up right now. Eating didn't go as planned yesterday. Everything was good up until after dinner. My boyfriend and I made a thin crust frozen pizza, which it said was 240 calories per 1/4 (2 slices). And I had 2 and a half slices of that, and also some pasta with tomato sauce and sausage that my mom made. I'm not sure about the calories, but the sausage was low fat chicken and spinach and we sprinkled low fat cheese on top so I figured it would be reasonably healthy.

However after dinner when we were watching a movie I ended up munching on dill pickle chips (quite a few) and goldfish crackers. And I had a shandy (mixed drink of beer, sprite, and lime juice) and a glass of chocolate milk.

I feel very irritated. I don't understand myself. I know I wanna lose weight and eat healthy, but somehow I keep caving to temptation. Before you've tried to lose weight, wouldn't you just think you could decide "I'm going to eat healthy and exercise and lose weight" and just do it? But somehow I keep cheating on myself :(

Well, as Scarlett O'Hara would say, Tomorrow is another day. So today I will keep trying to eat healthy.

I just started my TOM, so I decided to postphone the aquatic class till next week. So today I went with my girlfriend to a fitness class at our local rec centre. It's called cardio circuit, and the girl who teaches it used to the local bootcamp in area, so she really kicks your ass.

Basically for and hour an fifteen minutes you do sets of running across the gym/doing crossovers/shuffles and then running back to your step where you do ten dips or pushups or chest flys etc. And you each set 3 times. And then at the end you do ab exercises and stretching.

When I walked into the class, it looked like everyone attending was in reasonably good shape except for me :leaving: But even though my face turned the color of a tomato, I still finished every set. Some of the other ladies there told me I was doing a good job as I was running by, which helped me keep going.

I was thinking I might do this class once a week as my kick-ass workout.

So exercise-wise, I'm feeling pretty good about today :D


And I'm hopeful tomorrow I'll be able to tell you I was good food-wise as well.
 
Food for Nov 7

1. Whey Gourmet Protein shake made with 2% milk and a banana

2. Wendy's ultimate chicken grill sandwhich with no sauce, and a side caesar salad with no croutons

3. 2.5 cups of airpopped popcorn with 2 tbsp melted margarine (70 cals) and 1 teasp. white cheddar flavoring (20 cals)

4. Subway turkey breast sandwhich with lettuce, tomato, cucumbers, black olives and lite mayo.

A did a good job of drinking lots of water that day! :)


Food for Nov 8

1. A chicken wrap made with a whole wheat tortilla, grilled chicken strips (110 calories) and grated cheddar, lettuce, tomato and salsa.

2. 100 calorie bag of popcorn with a teasp. of white cheddar flavoring

3. A bowl of lipton chicken noodle soup with four whole wheat saltines and 4 cracker sized pieces of cheddar cheese.

4. 3 french fries with ketchup

5. Macaroni and cheese (360 cals) with a little added grated cheddar, and half a piece of whole wheat bread with 1 tsp of peanut butter and 1 tsp raspberry jam. 1 halloween mini hershey milk chocolate bar.

I drank quite a bit of water today too. I've been bringing a water bottle to work which helps defer me from indulging in the available free pop.

My body is still sore from the class on friday. If I drop something it takes me so long to bend over and pick it up. I'm really hoping it will have calmed down by tomorrow cause on monday I'm suppossed to be going to another class with my girl friend taught by the same chick so I'm sure it will be hard too. But it will only get easier if i keep doing it. . .
 
Food for Nov 9

1. Cup of coffee with 3 tsp sugar and a splash of skim milk. Whey gourmet protein shake made with skim milk and a banana

2. Nando's lemon n herb roasted quarter chicken (skinless) and a baked potato with sour cream and chives. A few sips of dr. pepper

3. 2 coors light beers

Okay, I know my "dinner" wasn't very healthy. I ended up having to work a double shift and OT and it was a very stressful day so when I came home I just wanted beer. I'm working another double tomorrow but I'm guessing it will be a lot less busy.
 
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Hey! I just wanted to say hello, and bring attention to the fact that YOU HAVE MADE MASSIVE IMPROVEMENTS IN YOUR DIET!! Look at your breakfasts a month ago vs. your breakfasts now!! Keep it up girl, slow and steady in moderate steps, you're on the exact track you need to be on. Don't let anything bring you down!!

Good luck :)
 
Thanks Tinysara! I did go back and read and they have gotten better :iagree:

So today I went to the fitness class. It was called Bootcamp, and it was hard. But thankfully it seemed a lot less hard than the first class! So workout wise I definetly got a good one in! Now let's keep to the healthy eating! :D

Food for Nov. 10

1. Whey gourmet protein shake made with skim milk and a banana

2. 2/3 of a footlong subway turkey breast sandwich on whole wheat with lettuce, tomatos, cucumbers, olives, and lite mayo. 1 french fry with ketchup

I got full part of the way through! That usually doesn't happen :) I'm going to take this as a sign that my appetite is getting smaller. Yay! Actually I might have eaten the whole thing but I knocked over my water glass and had to stop eating to clean it up. At the time I was pretty annoyed, but after I got everything wiped up and dry I realized I was full. So I guess it was a blessing in disguise.

3. Frozen canelloni dinner (240 cals) with cheddar cheese on top and a few sips of coke.

4. 2.5 cups of airpopped popcorn with 2 teasp. maragarine (70 cals) and white cheddar flavouring (30 cals)

xox SC
 
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267.4

Adam - I know subway is the best! Delicious, fast, and healthy (as long as you make it healthy :D)


So today I weighed in at 267.4

I am happy with the loss but I guess I was hoping for a little bit more because I really wanna make my goal for this month. So now I have a mini goal: to be 265 or under by November 15. Then I will have the last half of the month to get under 260. It is doable I just have to stick to my healthy eating and exercising.

I am making a commitment to have a moderate to high intensity workout four times a week. I am planning on continuing to go to fitness classes at the rec centres around here; if that is not possible I will go for an interval speed walk or do workout videos or something! I just gotta get into it four times a weeks. How long, you may ask, do I plan to keep this up for? Well, this is a Lifestyle change, so for the rest of my life! :)
 
Food for Nov 11

1. Omelette (1 egg, 1 egg white and grated cheddar cheese) and some corn beef hash (corned beef, potatos n onions) with ketchup

2. 1/3 subway sandwich, and a frozen lasagne (300 cals) with low fat cheese sprinkled on top

3. Goldfish crackers (100 cals)

4. Chocolate Jello Pudding and Cool Whip (180 cals)


I've been so munchy today! I don't feel good about the food I've been eating today. I'm not feeling satisfied and keep eating junky things and their still not satisfying me. So why am I eating more junky things?

My boyfriend is off school today and I'm off work. I always seem to eat more in these situations. He doesn't really wanna get out and do something. I always want to go out and he would rather stay in and watch tv, play video games and eat. And of course he never gains weight even though he regularly eats pizza and mcdonalds.

I know its not his fault but I just feel frustrated that I'm in a position that sets me up to fail. If I sit around all day it makes me want to eat more.
But he's tired on his day off and just wants to relax. It sucks really. But I'm not sure what to do about it at this point. I'll just try to eat better. If I eat anything else later it has to be healthy and natural. Also I'd like to work out tonight. I know it will make me feel better.

5. Baked salmon with low fat creamy dill sauce and vegetables (brocolli, green beans, mushrooms)

6. 60% Whole Wheat Bun with 1 teasp. peanut butter and 1 tablespoon raspberry jam and 1 cup skim milk

..And I had one bite of my friends big xtra- bad! but it was good.
 
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