Skittle's Journey To A Better Life

S

SkittleWarrior

New member
-- How much weight do you want to lose?
I'm at 200 now, and I would like to be down to around 125 by this summer.
-- What is the timeframe for reaching your target weight?
I have 4 months, I'm trying to lose 4 pounds a week.
-- How do you want to accomplish your goal (what methods do you want to use)?
I'm eating wicked healthy and in small portions, while still allowing myself to indulge on occasion. I'm on Tony Little's Gazelle for 90 minutes a day and am lifting 5 pound weights in various techniques for 15 minutes a day.
-- Who or what can support you in reaching your goal?
My girlfriend, Ducky. She tells me as long as I'm losing even a pound a week, I'm on the winning side of things. Because those pounds will keep adding up. Plus she says she'll love me no matter what, which is comforting. My parents have really surprised me in the amount of encouragement and support they're giving me.
-- How realistic is your goal?
It I keep losing 4 pounds a week, fairly realistic. Although, my Dad is an orge. I have a large bone structure because of it. I don't know if it would be healthy for me to be down to 125, but I'm going to keep going until I'm happy and healthy.
-- When will you start?
I'm about a month and a half into my journey. It's going well!
 
4lbs a week is a huge number to put up at your current weight and it will really be tough to sustain... the closer you get to your goal,, plateaus happen, so just keep your goals realistic, otherwise it will drive you nuts :)

You also might want to consider using a little heavier weight than 5lbs... once you've been at it for a while...

Welcome to your diary and much success in reaching your goals...
 
I've been keeping a paper journal, but in this day and age it's not uncommon I guess to say that it's faster to type than it is to write for some.

My Uncle told me at Hannaford last night that I was looking good--and he's a body builder. Mister Muscle Man is telling me I look good and saying 'oh, so you've been losing a lot of weight, huh?' I'm wondering if my Mom in the time she had to speak with him before I arrived put him up to it. I mean, what is it Shakespeare said? "Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind." Eh, I think it applies.

I'm drinking more water. Encouraging Mom to buy a purifier because I don't trust tap water and the Poland Spring bottles certainly are accumulating around the house. Drinking more green tea was my resolution this week. It's going good, though the last one I just had upset my stomach.

It's nice out...like, 30 degrees, but whatever. Reason enough for me to wear shorts. Shopping yesterday, I noticed how losing weight has affected a lot of aspects.

-I had the courage to dare to smile at this really cute butch in Wal*Mart...well, it would have worked if my sudden spinning around in the isle, stopping the path of my Mother's cart didn't interupt me.

-I confronted that bitch who was making fun of me with her ignorant friend about me "dressing like a man." I threw an apple core at her head and told her to shut the F**K up. Oh yeah, they were scared. They walked quickly out of the store and couldn't even look at me when they tried to throw insults back. Yesss.

-More confidence in ceramics around all them skinny girls!

-I saw my reflection in Target...lookin' good. :D

Plus my work-out went wicked well yesterday. I was sweating like mad. I'm a teeny sore this morning, however.

This morning I've had some light nonfat yogurt with some yummy SoyPlus granola, a cup of green tea, and two bottles of water. So good so far. Chyeah.

I like this journal thing.
 
Lol. Thanks. My window is wide open, there are a few feet of snow outside. I am so ready for spring, but it's been in the teens for a few days...this is a nice change! :p
 
Damn it

I feel so disgusting today. I feel so fat. I am hating my body so much right now. I look at everything and don't see any results. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong...not enough protein maybe, not exercising the way I should, not drinking enough, not doing anything right...

I just don't see anything changed...
 
SkittleWarrior said:
I feel so disgusting today. I feel so fat. I am hating my body so much right now. I look at everything and don't see any results. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong...not enough protein maybe, not exercising the way I should, not drinking enough, not doing anything right...

I just don't see anything changed...
Click to expand...


But things have changed. Look at your weight before and now, how do you view/feel about food and exercise?

What has happened to cause this mood that you are in? It's good to vent here, we all know what you are going through. Are you old enough to use Sparkpeople? or maybe fitday? If so, those places can help you track your nutrition... calories/fat/protein/carbs to ensure you are getting a good balance.

Keep your chin up. Tomorrow will be better.
 
I don't know what happened. I think it's upsetting me that those around me are making comments about how I look better...it's like, they can see it, why can't I? And all the stuff I've been reading and hearing about...I feel like I can do so much better than what I'm doing now. I really wish the feeling would go away.
 
When I weighed in for a challenge on Feb 1, I was 158.8 the following thursday, I was 159.4, the thursday following that, I was 159.6. I have been busting ass and my weight is increasing or staying the same.

Others can see the weight loss easier than you can see it yourself. You can look at you all day long and not really notice the small changes, where as others can notice them, because they don't see you as often.

Have you taken measurements so that you can compare them in the future? This is something I should be doing as well.
 
I should try that.

And hope that some day I'll be able to see the change, too.

*Sigh.* It's just not a good day...especially with Pride coming at the end of June...I want to look good...maybe take a girl home. I don't think that's much to ask.
 
I was a bad girl today. I mean, really bad. And I couldn't exercise because my stupid mooching cousins came over and I hid in my room the whole time in order to avoid them. I'll make it up tomorrow. I will. No matter how much I don't want to...I will. I will. I will.

I just ate two handfuls of M&Ms AND a cup of Chex. I am so bad...how could I do this to myself? Tomorrow is a new day...I think I'm gonna get up early and make my own breakfast. Break free from the yogurt and granola routine. Yeaaah. Salad in the 'fridge for lunch, perhaps? Chicken and brown rice for dinner with asparagas. Yeah...tomorrow can be a better day. I'm going to brush my teeth after I eat anything in order to be discouraged from eating too much. Floss every time too.

Mary Ann is home from Vermont this weekend. I want to look good for her. I want to impress her. I want her to be reminded of what she left at home.
 
It's a new day.

Today is going to be a better day than yesterday was. Maybe I shouldn't exercise for yesterday and today, but I'm going to. I get a cute little :) sticker for every day I exercise 90 minutes on my calendar...and I don't like blank spots. So, it's 3 hours total today. Obviously not all at once. Probably 30 to 60 minutes at a time. Whatever--it's vacation and I have nothing to do all day. Pathetic maybe, but good for my trying to lose weight.

I did it! I made my own breakfast of one egg with some light cheese, a mandarin orange and half a piece of whole grain toast with a cup of hot green tea. Every day usually starts out good but as the day progresses, it's usually all downhill. Not today. I'm commited.

My weigh-in is on Sunday and I want to see results. I may have dinner with Mary Ann's family, which would be awkward...um...I hope she calls me tonight. We need to figure this out. Complete devastation if I don't see her Saturday. Seriously. But if I do suffer through dinner with her family, I won't eat more than I should. If anything I'll be eating less...good news.

I'll update tonight with a positive reflection of today. Yes I will. :p
 
Wishing you a very happy almost Friday... Hope it's a great day today.

it's also be Humble day -- which personally i find silly - take a moment tobrag on your accomplishments... :)
 
Warning: Explicit Lyrics (that I hope won't get me in trouble)

These are the lyrics to Burger Baby by Gravy Train!!!! (the four are essential).

I know the lyrics are kinda bad, and you probably won't get the full effect unless you've heard the song (including the McDonald's/Burger King dialogue at the end) but it's wicked inspiring to me and makes me disgusted with myself when I have a craving for that gross sludge they feed millions in the US and beyond every day. I think the song is genious.

Every time a hamburger looks into my eyes
I forget all of my sadness and the Happy Meal prize
Cuz I'm a starving motherf*cker who wants much bigger thighs
Get so horny when a onion ring gets f*cked by a fry
What can I do? I love you, I'd hump you, it's cool
I just don't care what they say (BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do, I love you, I'll hump you, it's cool
And we'll be happy that way (BURGER BABY)
I'm the kinda lady who will get down and spread
Spray that sh*t all over me till Carl Junior is dead
Uh, the ketchup that is-just paint my space titties red
And grab a condom so your condiments don't spill on the bed
Weepin' like a b*tch one night I just couldn't stand it
Knocked up with a burger baby and I just hadn't planned it
Called up Smokehouse for cash, they said, "We don't understand it!"
I said "BURGER ABORTION I DON'T ASK IT I DEMAND IT!!!!"
What can I do? Can't kill you, I love you, I do
I'll just raise you up as my son (BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do, won't kill you, I love you, I do
And you'll be my only one (BURGER BABY)
 
Yay yay yay yay yay!

Ooooo I feel so accomplished. :D
I'm 15 minutes short of exercising for 3 hours today. My Mom has had a long day at work though and is currently passed out on the couch, sooo I'm adding those measly 15 minutes on to tomorrow's schedule so I don't disturb her. I kept my eating under control tonight ending with a 60 calorie pudding cup...the second course to my dinner of light nonfat yogurt with more than enough handfuls of granola:eek: . I had salad for lunch, some sherbert, a few GROSS bites of a Healthy Choice frozen meal...after my experience this afternoon...I'm okay with never touching one of those things again. Wait...is that all I ate? Omg it is...YES!

I'm off to take a bath...one every day this week. Ah, vacation.
 
Hardcore relationship venting...

Well, in the words of the great Regina Spektor, "Mary Ann is a bitch."

:mad: My letter to Mary Ann:mad:
I don't want to feel hurt more than I feel loved. And Mary Ann, you make me hurt. As much as I would love to see you this weekend, I can't. I spend hours thinking about you. I can feel my heart pounding when the phone ringing wakes me up, hoping that it's you. When it's not, I'm crushed. When it is, I'm dissapointed. You rarely talk to me for more than five minutes, and the conversation is lame. I mean, you didn't even register me NOT saying "I love you" back when you told it to me. I would like to say I'm too good for you, but I don't know if there is much truth behind that. My motives haven't always been pure...rarely ever. But in the past few days my heart has ached for you, and I looked back on when we were such a happy couple and all that you did for me. I mean, you did EVERYTHING. I thought I had the practically perfect relationship. But when you told me that one time that I was in love with the thought of YOU, maybe you were projecting. I think you have been in love with the thought of me. I think I was probably guilty of it, too. I went out and bought you this beautiful scarf because you said you wanted a scarf. "It's cold in Vermont." I bought you the cutest little stuffed puppy with a heart shaped nose, thinking it would be comforting when you missed me at school to hold it. I know how things to hold from the one you love can be comforting when you can't be holding them instead. The last thing I told you was "I'm just an afterthought to you" when you pushed seeing me from Friday to Saturday and then Sunday. You come home last night and I get to see you the day you leave. How generous, giving that to the one you are "so in love with." I don't need it, I don't want it, I have Ducky, I don't want you. Mom likes the scarf well enough, and the cute little puppy...I was going to send it to Ducky, but it already has too much of you in it. You said college wouldn't change you. But it has, and I know I will never get the old you back because I have seen this happen before. I actually wanted you to call me back when I hung up on you. Just to have the feeling that you cared. I even wanted you to pull up into the driveway at 2am just so I could tell you to go home and shut the door in your face. Maybe I'm cruel, but I just want to feel like you still care. Now I know you don't. I'm done this time. I was prepared to love you back, to give you as much love as you have given me in the past. But now you don't want it...and you know what? I'm going to deal.

Mom says she's proud of me for realizing what makes me hurt and doing the harder thing and letting go of it even though I don't want to. I guess I'm proud of myself too.

+++++

Ah, it's done. Now maybe today will go a little better. I'm super proud of myself for not eating anything at 11pm last night even though I desperately wanted to after yours truly made me feel like sh*t. I just had a cup of tea and read some Shakespeare. Even though my Mom was chilling on the couch eating chocolate. I just went to bed when my mind finally let me sleep. And I feel amazing for not letting Mary Ann screw me up so bad. I don't want to exercise today, but I'm not going to let her get the best of me. I've had an apple and am drinking some tea. Giving into temptation right now would be stupid and I would be defeated. It's not worth it.

I'm going to finish The Powerbook, write to my wonderful Serena, exercise for 105 minutes, go work on my ceramics piece at UNE, and go see 23 with my Mom. I don't need her. And I don't need food to comfort me.
 
I ate waaay too many M&Ms today. Tonight I'm going to Mary Ann's house...I don't even want to say how stupid I feel. I'm not eating more than I should while there. Ugh.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top