I have let myself go for years but have been especially neglectful of my health over the past 6 months. My sister who was only 40 passed away very suddenly in June of 2011 and I think that I have used food to console my grief. I have become a junk food and sugar addict. I've gained about 20 lbs in 6 months. Not that I was a healthy weight to begin with but I have finally just hit the wall with how I look and feel. I am currently about 220 lbs and am only 5'4". I don't know the actual amount because I avoid scales like the plague. I am going to get an accurate weight tonight so that I can start keeping track. I saw a picture of myself that was taken during a family gathering a few weeks ago and I was so ashamed. I just wanted to hide myself away. My health has gotten so much worse as my weight has increased. I am currently taking meds for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, acid reflux and asthma as well as Advil or Tylenol daily due to back aches and headaches. I'm only 48 years old so I know that this doesn't bode well for my future. I watched the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" over the weekend and it really struck me. It's exactly how I feel most of the time. I bought a juicer and am going to start doing at least one juice meal a day and cut back on fats and sweets. I'd love to be able to do a juice fast for 10 days or so but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I also have promised myself that I will walk at least 20 minutes a day for this next week and build from there. I found this website while searching for info on juicing and thought this would be a great way to sort of get my emotions out when I feel the need to vent or to celebrate. Not many people in my life understand my struggle with weight so it's hard to get the support I need. I'd really appreciate any advice or motivational tips that anyone would care to offer. What I want more than anything is to feel good again and to regain my self confidence.
Sick of It and Sick From It
- Thread starter sarafern
- Start date
Hey sarafern!
If it's self confidence and good vibes your after, you've came to the right place! I get so much motivation from this place it's nuts. Starting a diary is a great step. I love logging on everyday to see what my buddies on here have said to me. A lot of the time it motivates me to get up and exercise or avoid that craving that's been tormenting me all day.
I'm a calorie counter, so I usually list all the food I've eaten for the day with the calorie values. You can do the same, even if your not counting calories, list the foods you eat everyday. It's really great to reflect back on and see what you can change.
You can do this! I'm sorry you don't have very much family support, but everyone here supports you and wants you to succeed!
If it's self confidence and good vibes your after, you've came to the right place! I get so much motivation from this place it's nuts. Starting a diary is a great step. I love logging on everyday to see what my buddies on here have said to me. A lot of the time it motivates me to get up and exercise or avoid that craving that's been tormenting me all day.
I'm a calorie counter, so I usually list all the food I've eaten for the day with the calorie values. You can do the same, even if your not counting calories, list the foods you eat everyday. It's really great to reflect back on and see what you can change.
You can do this! I'm sorry you don't have very much family support, but everyone here supports you and wants you to succeed!
scbibhouse
New member
Hey Sarafern,
Welcome to the forum! As Munch said, this is a good place to get support and good ideas! I'm 51 (so we're not so far apart in age) and I'm somewhere around 200 (I only weigh once a month, so I won't know until 1 January my actual weight) and that is down from 269..back on 1 June 2011..so I'm here to tell you it can be done! My deal is simple (not easy, but simple...I need that!) 1) No processed sugars (the occasional fruit is OK) 2) No eating after 6:00pm (yes, that does mean that I occasionally don't get dinner...but that's OK for me rightnow) 3) Lo carb 4) No softdrinks (that includes diet softdrinks) 5) exercise every day (I've worked my way up to 1 hr on the eliptical and my goal is to burn about 800 cal/trip to the gym) That's my big 5 and so far they've worked for me. I don't know how long it will take me to get to 150 (my goal), but I've determined I'm going to get there and I'm sure that is more than 1/2 the battle!
We're here for you! The best thing about this site is that you can say what you feel...no worry about feeling ashamed, or feeling like you have to cover it..we're all on the same journey and have probably felt (or are feeling now) what you are feeling...sometimes it just helps to share it, get over it and get back on track!
Hope you stay with us...we need you just as much as you might need us!
Looking forward to your next post!
Sarah
Welcome to the forum! As Munch said, this is a good place to get support and good ideas! I'm 51 (so we're not so far apart in age) and I'm somewhere around 200 (I only weigh once a month, so I won't know until 1 January my actual weight) and that is down from 269..back on 1 June 2011..so I'm here to tell you it can be done! My deal is simple (not easy, but simple...I need that!) 1) No processed sugars (the occasional fruit is OK) 2) No eating after 6:00pm (yes, that does mean that I occasionally don't get dinner...but that's OK for me rightnow) 3) Lo carb 4) No softdrinks (that includes diet softdrinks) 5) exercise every day (I've worked my way up to 1 hr on the eliptical and my goal is to burn about 800 cal/trip to the gym) That's my big 5 and so far they've worked for me. I don't know how long it will take me to get to 150 (my goal), but I've determined I'm going to get there and I'm sure that is more than 1/2 the battle!
We're here for you! The best thing about this site is that you can say what you feel...no worry about feeling ashamed, or feeling like you have to cover it..we're all on the same journey and have probably felt (or are feeling now) what you are feeling...sometimes it just helps to share it, get over it and get back on track!
Hope you stay with us...we need you just as much as you might need us!
Looking forward to your next post!
Sarah
Okay, I finally weighed myself and it's about what I expected. I'm at 220.8 lbs. After posting yesterday, I went home and made a large glass of fresh vegetable juice which I had as my dinner. It was actually pretty good. My husband made fried chicken while I was drinking my veggie juice so I just went to another room while he and my daughter ate. They are already rolling their eyes and being sarcastic about my weight loss plan. I'm sure my daughter will make cookies or brownies this weekend to tempt me even more. Neither of them has a weight problem and they eat whatever they want. They don't understand that it's like a junkie trying to stay off drugs for me to stop eating that stuff. After finishing the juice, I did get really hungry a couple of hours later but I only ate an orange. I've got to say that the "cleansing" part of the juicing diet really works fast. For breakfast this morning, I had a bowl of plain oatmeal with a sprinkle of slivered almonds and a sprinkle of dried cranberries with a cup of lowfat milk. I also packed my lunch - a cup of chicken and vegetable soup, an apple and a lowfat granola bar for a snack. Right now, my motivation is high as it always is when I first start a diet. I just have to stay focused this time.
I didn't walk last night as I had said I would do. Exercise is the hardest part of losing weight for me. I have a treadmill so the weather is not an excuse. I was just tired from working all day and honestly, I hate to exercise. I know how much better it will make me feel and that it will alleviate some of the health problems I'm having. I used to walk almost every day. Today I will get on that treadmill for at least 20 minutes.
Thank you Munch and Sarah for the encouragement and the welcome. I really think this diary is going to help me. I've never had a place to just express all the emotions that come with dieting -both good and bad. So, here I go on my first full day of a new beginning. I can do this!
I didn't walk last night as I had said I would do. Exercise is the hardest part of losing weight for me. I have a treadmill so the weather is not an excuse. I was just tired from working all day and honestly, I hate to exercise. I know how much better it will make me feel and that it will alleviate some of the health problems I'm having. I used to walk almost every day. Today I will get on that treadmill for at least 20 minutes.
Thank you Munch and Sarah for the encouragement and the welcome. I really think this diary is going to help me. I've never had a place to just express all the emotions that come with dieting -both good and bad. So, here I go on my first full day of a new beginning. I can do this!
SageJaguar
New member
AYes you can. Just think of how sexy you'll feel with more energy and being in better shape. Your body is like any machine, you get out of it what you put into it. So you have to give up comfort foods and that sucks, but it's worth it! And fresh veggie juice sounds delicious!
Whenever your motivation runs low, think about how much you want to change. And how much better you will feel about yourself!
Whenever your motivation runs low, think about how much you want to change. And how much better you will feel about yourself!
Vegetables will tend to leave you hungry, particularly if all you get from them is their juice (liquids go through the stomach far quicker). A little solid protein would help stave off hunger better.
Try exercising first thing in the morning, it's tough to start with but after a consistent week or two I find I wake up easier and start the day with lots more energy than otherwise.
Something that might help your family be more sympathetic is to get a heavy duty bag or backpack and fill it with as much weight as you are trying to lose (dumbell weights are good if you have em) and ask them to A: lift it and B: carry it around all day..... it's a real eye opener.
I'd also suggest you schedule one day or meal a week where you can have whatever you want. it's great for keeping your motivation up to know that you can have your favorite food in a few days (don't go beyond that day or meal though, not even for leftovers the following morning)
Tourny
Try exercising first thing in the morning, it's tough to start with but after a consistent week or two I find I wake up easier and start the day with lots more energy than otherwise.
Something that might help your family be more sympathetic is to get a heavy duty bag or backpack and fill it with as much weight as you are trying to lose (dumbell weights are good if you have em) and ask them to A: lift it and B: carry it around all day..... it's a real eye opener.
I'd also suggest you schedule one day or meal a week where you can have whatever you want. it's great for keeping your motivation up to know that you can have your favorite food in a few days (don't go beyond that day or meal though, not even for leftovers the following morning)
Tourny
Cate
Long term member
Hi sarafern, Good for you making the decision to take back control of your eating & your health. I'm 58 now but 4 years ago I weighed 111kg & was very unfit. Since then I have changed my life around, am 31kg lighter & exercise an average of 45 mins a day. I'm not obsessed with exercise but I walk whenever I can & am a lot more active. These days I track what I eat & that makes me think twice before I eat anything, which isn't a bad thing. You can do this. If I can, anyone can. We are never too old to change our lifestyle. It is important that your family supports you. I would think that they want you around & would prefer to have a healthy & happy mother & wife. Open up to them & let them know what it would mean to you to have their support. You have made a good decision joining the forum. I think a lot of us think that we couldn't do it without the support we get here. Basically it is up to us what we put in our mouths & how we live our lives but support from family & friends sure makes our path much easier & more enjoyable. All the best sarafern, we'll be here to support you along the way, xo Cate
scbibhouse
New member
Yes you can do this sarafern! My guess is that when your family starts to see you lose some inches and your body starts to change, they will start to be a little more supportive...but as cate says, it is us who controls what we put in our mouth! I agree with Tourny that the juice may leave you hungry...some lean meat or boiled eggs will help stave off hunger better than juice. When I was young, I was really athletic..so I like exercise most of the time...all I can tell you is that, like most things we want to do, we have to just do it enough to get a habit started...then you feel lost when you don't get it. That's the way I am without exercise now...and I know for me that diet alone will not give me the progress to lose the weight I want to lose...so I have to double-team it to keep it going!
If I can do it, you can do it...we're all on the same path...some of us have a long way to go...but we're all going! Glad you're here with us!
Sarah
If I can do it, you can do it...we're all on the same path...some of us have a long way to go...but we're all going! Glad you're here with us!
Sarah
Good luck. I lost 115 lbs 6 years ago and kept it off. Sugar is your enemy. You admit an addiction, but choose to drink high sugar juices and take granola bars full of sugar as part of your lunch. That's my observation.
What I want to say is that you can't make anyone else change, so it's your attitude to your husband's or daughter's cooking is what needs changing. Set yourself a goal so compelling about you that you'll propel yourself to do what is required and enjoy doing it! If you want to know how to do that, I'll share.
So, not only did I lose the weight, I now workout for a minimum of 60 minutes each day at home, by myself. My wife and daughter do not exercise and do not diet. My wife is about 60 pounds overweight. It's not my job to change her or to be frustrated at her diet and exercise program. My goal is set for me. Somewhere along the way, they might join my ride, but it's not compulsory. I have no plans to ruin my goal by lapsing into their regime... and that's the way you could look at your situation.
I found this forum thread on twitter... from someone wishing you well... so I joined the forum. I'm not big on support group mentality. It's all about the goals and once you know what to do... you don't need anyone else...
good luck
What I want to say is that you can't make anyone else change, so it's your attitude to your husband's or daughter's cooking is what needs changing. Set yourself a goal so compelling about you that you'll propel yourself to do what is required and enjoy doing it! If you want to know how to do that, I'll share.
So, not only did I lose the weight, I now workout for a minimum of 60 minutes each day at home, by myself. My wife and daughter do not exercise and do not diet. My wife is about 60 pounds overweight. It's not my job to change her or to be frustrated at her diet and exercise program. My goal is set for me. Somewhere along the way, they might join my ride, but it's not compulsory. I have no plans to ruin my goal by lapsing into their regime... and that's the way you could look at your situation.
I found this forum thread on twitter... from someone wishing you well... so I joined the forum. I'm not big on support group mentality. It's all about the goals and once you know what to do... you don't need anyone else...
good luck
To Gibson X - while I appreciate your determination and your success at losing, I think that I do need some group support at least occasionally.
It helps to have people to talk to who understand exactly how it feels to go through the emotional roller coaster of trying to change your life which is a pretty daunting task. And as for the juice, I personally juiced all fresh vegetables - no fruit or sugar added. It's pretty good and contains all the micronutrients your body needs in a day in a single glass. While I admit I am still eating some items with sugar, I am cutting back. I don't know if I can give it up entirely as you have done. Thanks for the advice though and it's something I may try.
I am totally amazed by all the good advice and supportive messages that people have left for me. Thanks to all of you.
Also, I wanted to share that I found a book last night while browsing my Kindle. It is title The Weight Loss Diaries by Courtney Rubin and I swear it's like the woman is writing my life. For anyone who has struggled with weight and food issues, I would highly recommend reading it.
As for food yesterday, I ate my prepared lunch and had baked chicken breast and some steamed greens last night with a fruit salad for desert. I also found a wonderful herbal tea which I had instead of a late night snack. It's Tazo Calm and has chamomile, blackberry leaves and lots of other good stuff. You can buy it at Starbucks but I think Amazon also sells it. So far today, I've had the same oatmeal as yesterday and went shopping this morning before work to stock up on some healthy lunch options like veggie soups and Healthy Choice Frozen meals. The weekend is coming up which I'm prepared for with healthy options at home even if the hubs and daughter aren't going to make it easy.
I talked to them a bit more about the whole situation last night and they seemed more understanding than usual. I don't think they're going to change their eating habits at all but at least they won't be pushing food on me like they've done in the past. At least that's my hope.
It helps to have people to talk to who understand exactly how it feels to go through the emotional roller coaster of trying to change your life which is a pretty daunting task. And as for the juice, I personally juiced all fresh vegetables - no fruit or sugar added. It's pretty good and contains all the micronutrients your body needs in a day in a single glass. While I admit I am still eating some items with sugar, I am cutting back. I don't know if I can give it up entirely as you have done. Thanks for the advice though and it's something I may try.
I am totally amazed by all the good advice and supportive messages that people have left for me. Thanks to all of you.
Also, I wanted to share that I found a book last night while browsing my Kindle. It is title The Weight Loss Diaries by Courtney Rubin and I swear it's like the woman is writing my life. For anyone who has struggled with weight and food issues, I would highly recommend reading it.
As for food yesterday, I ate my prepared lunch and had baked chicken breast and some steamed greens last night with a fruit salad for desert. I also found a wonderful herbal tea which I had instead of a late night snack. It's Tazo Calm and has chamomile, blackberry leaves and lots of other good stuff. You can buy it at Starbucks but I think Amazon also sells it. So far today, I've had the same oatmeal as yesterday and went shopping this morning before work to stock up on some healthy lunch options like veggie soups and Healthy Choice Frozen meals. The weekend is coming up which I'm prepared for with healthy options at home even if the hubs and daughter aren't going to make it easy.
I talked to them a bit more about the whole situation last night and they seemed more understanding than usual. I don't think they're going to change their eating habits at all but at least they won't be pushing food on me like they've done in the past. At least that's my hope.
Cate
Long term member
I'm glad that you had that talk & it sounds promising Sarafern. I like the sound of your food choices. Eating the vegetables whole will also provide some bulk which will help fill you up but juice which is mainly vegetable & not too heavy on the fruit is obviously good as well. Lean protein is very important. Consider walking a little whenever you can. Baby steps, baby steps...they all add up. Every time you make a healthy choice you are taking a positive step forward. I think that I wouldn't have been able to get to my weight-loss goal without the support of my diary. It's a triple-fold thing. By opening up in your diary you become more aware of your feelings & learn to deal with them. It is an emotional roller-coaster. There aren't many people who have no idea what foods make you fat but it is usually the reason we eat those fattening foods that needs the most attention. You have come to the right place to find support sarafern. A big welcome to you! xoxo Cate
scbibhouse
New member
hey Sarafern,
Little steps...one at a time and keep your chin up! Glad you had the talk with your family...we all could use the support...even we would like more...we can't change them...we are only in control of us (and sometimes that's a stretch for me!) Most anyone can be "on a diet" for a day...the choices you are starting to make are the right ones... the good thing about this diary is that you can take what you want and leave the rest...what works for one person may not work for all...and some of us are not as quick as others..and for some of us it takes longer, takes shorter, takes slips, takes falls, takes ...you name it. You will have to find what works for you and what you can live with in your situation. I know myself well enough to know that I can't have processed sugars...and I can't have alot of natural sugars like fruits, but I can have some...I've just got to make sure that my "some" does not turn into a gorge! So, keep your chin up, get into a lifestyle that you can maintain for the long haul..and you'll lose weight! I totally agree with Cate...baby steps...one at a time...they all add up...if you don't want to get on the treadmill...go for a brisk walk outside (lots of people will be doing that on New Years day!)...even if it's 15 min, it will be something you can do every day and you'll know when you can increase it.
we're here for you!
Sarah
Little steps...one at a time and keep your chin up! Glad you had the talk with your family...we all could use the support...even we would like more...we can't change them...we are only in control of us (and sometimes that's a stretch for me!) Most anyone can be "on a diet" for a day...the choices you are starting to make are the right ones... the good thing about this diary is that you can take what you want and leave the rest...what works for one person may not work for all...and some of us are not as quick as others..and for some of us it takes longer, takes shorter, takes slips, takes falls, takes ...you name it. You will have to find what works for you and what you can live with in your situation. I know myself well enough to know that I can't have processed sugars...and I can't have alot of natural sugars like fruits, but I can have some...I've just got to make sure that my "some" does not turn into a gorge! So, keep your chin up, get into a lifestyle that you can maintain for the long haul..and you'll lose weight! I totally agree with Cate...baby steps...one at a time...they all add up...if you don't want to get on the treadmill...go for a brisk walk outside (lots of people will be doing that on New Years day!)...even if it's 15 min, it will be something you can do every day and you'll know when you can increase it.
we're here for you!
Sarah
Well, I had a pretty good weekend and despite it being a "holiday" weekend, I managed not to gorge myself. I also managed to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes on Sunday. I'm not going to weigh myself until Thursday which will be one full week of being healthier. We ate lunch on New Year's Day with my parents. That was a bit of a challenge. Does anyone else feel like they revert to "kid" mode whenever they are around their parents? I'm almost 50 and I still let the things they say really bug me. I told my Mom (who has never had to diet a day in her life and still at age 75 remains a size 10) about my plans for getting healthier. She didn't have anything encouraging to say but did manage to say she was glad I was finally going to "get some of that fat off". She has always been so negative towards me regarding my physical appearance whenever I wasn't at my thinnest. I can remember being about 14 and going jeans shopping with her. I must have been about a size 11 then and she was so disgusted with me. She told me if I didn't lose weight I'd soon have to be shopping in the fat women's section. Those were her exact words. I'm not paraphrasing. I was always embarassed about my size when I was younger. When I look back at those pictures now, I realize that I was never more than 10 lbs or so overweight. I was never skinny but I certainly wasn't as huge as I always felt I was.
When I was 24, I really got into aerobics classes and got fit for the first time in my life. My weight got down to about 130 and I could wear size 8 clothes. I felt really pretty for the first time in my life.
I managed to continue staying active and eating relatively healthy for years even through my pregnancies. I didn't really start putting on a lot of weight until after my daughter was born. We moved across the country and shortly after that, my husband and I separated. I sat on the couch and ate to numb the pain. I gained about 30 pounds but eventually started getting active again. I didn't lose much of that weight but I didn't really gain more. Then about 10 years ago, I got a job that requires sitting at a computer 8 hours a day and that's when the pounds really started creeping up on me - a few pounds a year don't seem like much until 10 years have gone by. I'll be tired and stressed out when I get home from work and the last thing I want to do is cook or exercise so we've ended up eating a lot of fast food or quick fix meals like hot dogs or frozen pizza. The worst kinds of stuff. Then after my sister's death over the summer, another period of comfort eating and 20 lbs later have brought me to this point.
Why does food have so much power over me? I wonder how for some people like my Mom, they can just eat a bite of a cookie and leave the rest, while for me, if I eat one cookie then I'll eat 10. She says for her food is just fuel. She eats when she's hungry and stops when she's satisfied. She doesn't have cravings for chocolate or pizza or cheeseburgers. A candy bar will last for days because she can take one bite and be satisfied and then wrap the rest up for later. If I have a candy bar, it's gone in a minute or two. Why didn't I inherit that attitude or whatever it is from her? It really is like a drug for me. If I'm anxious, it calms me. If I'm upset, it soothes me. If I'm bored, it entertains me. If I'm lonely, it's an old friend who never judges. I know this is terrible but sometimes I wish it were cigarettes or booze that I craved because I think it would be easier to give those up than it is to give up foods. I know that's probably not true but it does feel that way. I know this has been a bunch of rambling today and hope I haven't bored anyone but it does feel good to just get it all off my chest.
When I was 24, I really got into aerobics classes and got fit for the first time in my life. My weight got down to about 130 and I could wear size 8 clothes. I felt really pretty for the first time in my life.
I managed to continue staying active and eating relatively healthy for years even through my pregnancies. I didn't really start putting on a lot of weight until after my daughter was born. We moved across the country and shortly after that, my husband and I separated. I sat on the couch and ate to numb the pain. I gained about 30 pounds but eventually started getting active again. I didn't lose much of that weight but I didn't really gain more. Then about 10 years ago, I got a job that requires sitting at a computer 8 hours a day and that's when the pounds really started creeping up on me - a few pounds a year don't seem like much until 10 years have gone by. I'll be tired and stressed out when I get home from work and the last thing I want to do is cook or exercise so we've ended up eating a lot of fast food or quick fix meals like hot dogs or frozen pizza. The worst kinds of stuff. Then after my sister's death over the summer, another period of comfort eating and 20 lbs later have brought me to this point.
Why does food have so much power over me? I wonder how for some people like my Mom, they can just eat a bite of a cookie and leave the rest, while for me, if I eat one cookie then I'll eat 10. She says for her food is just fuel. She eats when she's hungry and stops when she's satisfied. She doesn't have cravings for chocolate or pizza or cheeseburgers. A candy bar will last for days because she can take one bite and be satisfied and then wrap the rest up for later. If I have a candy bar, it's gone in a minute or two. Why didn't I inherit that attitude or whatever it is from her? It really is like a drug for me. If I'm anxious, it calms me. If I'm upset, it soothes me. If I'm bored, it entertains me. If I'm lonely, it's an old friend who never judges. I know this is terrible but sometimes I wish it were cigarettes or booze that I craved because I think it would be easier to give those up than it is to give up foods. I know that's probably not true but it does feel that way. I know this has been a bunch of rambling today and hope I haven't bored anyone but it does feel good to just get it all off my chest.
scbibhouse
New member
Hey Sarafern,
I missed this post and I was worried that you might have gotten put off by some of the other posts..so I'm so glad you are still here. I can completely identify with your relationship with food...it's our lover, it's our friend...until it turns on us like a snake and bites us. Brawny77 is right...the candy bars lie!
Keep your eyes on the goal, and do your weightloss 1 day at a time...sometimes 1 hour, sometimes 1 minute at a time and when you add up all the minutes, hours and days you'll put together a week and then two and before you know it you'll have a month of healthy changes! Once these healthy changes become habit and routine it gets easier to stick to it!
Remember, you are doing this for you...not your mother or your ex..for you! I know you can do it and we'll be here all along the way with you!
Sarah
I missed this post and I was worried that you might have gotten put off by some of the other posts..so I'm so glad you are still here. I can completely identify with your relationship with food...it's our lover, it's our friend...until it turns on us like a snake and bites us. Brawny77 is right...the candy bars lie!
Keep your eyes on the goal, and do your weightloss 1 day at a time...sometimes 1 hour, sometimes 1 minute at a time and when you add up all the minutes, hours and days you'll put together a week and then two and before you know it you'll have a month of healthy changes! Once these healthy changes become habit and routine it gets easier to stick to it!
Remember, you are doing this for you...not your mother or your ex..for you! I know you can do it and we'll be here all along the way with you!
Sarah
brawny77
New member
Ok here is a cheesy thing I do when I dont want to get on my exercise bike. I tell myself..."Just 10 minutes and if you want to then you can quit" Well by 10 minutes I am feeling pretty good and I have not ever quit at that point yet. I almost always make it 20 or 30......Just a stupid little mind trick but it works on my stupid little mind