Shines Diary :)

shinelikegold

shinelikegold

New member
Hey :) I'm Shine and I'm 18. I joined this forum thing because, I need support, and I personally think the support of strangers is the best, it's less embarrassing that they know things, because idk, it's hard to talk to people I know well about this stuff...(sorry for the ramble!)
Anyways, I hoping with this form of support, I'll be able to reach my goals.

My current height is 5 foot and 5 and a half inches, and today I weigh 166 pounds. In a land of unicorns, rainbows, and no hardcore twilight fans I would weigh 130. Four months from now I want to be, at the very most 155.
I want to lose it because I'm tired of the hurtful comments I get.. and I'm afraid that if I don't lose weight and as a consequence at least go down one bra size, my mom will continue to push me to get a breast reduction.

Its not that I don't want smaller boobs, it's that I don't want the surgery going that route would implicate. I want to be skinny in this years Christmas photo... or at least average size... I don't want to look fat next to my tiny 5'3 sister whose 18 months older. I want to love myself and to be comfortable!

I have tried so many times but I always screw up, looking at instant gratification (a cupcake, a cookie, a insane amount of bread....) instead of looking at the long term rewards. I just want to be comfortable with myself, I don't want to skip my friend's birthdays because they are pool parties...

I've been overweight since I was 8, and my problem is, is that I eat like my older sister. The difference is, is that she can eat all the food in the house and not gain a pound, me? One slip up is hell.
I'm an emotional eater/noneater. My body will surprise me, when I begin to date someone, I won't be able to eat for awhile, because I'm to: nervous/anxious/excited etc. And when I break up with them I either can't eat again orrrr I eat...a lot. If I really care though, I don't eat, I go into freak out mode :/

So, seeing that all of this pretty much leads to the boys in my life, I have decided to cut them out for now :) All they do is bring unnecessary drama and wreck havoc in my life, and until I'm more stable, I'm not letting anyone in.

In the past I have lost weight, but I've never lost more then 10. That’s why I feel soo inspired :) 17 POUNDS!! so far... I'm just happy and proud of myself I guess :) I'm currently in phase one of the South Beach Diet, and it's working really well for me, I can still eat until I'm full, unlike the other diets, which is a really good fit for me. I also have been doing yoga every other day and walking.
My motivation for reaching my goals is how good and comfortable I'm going to feel :)
Once I get to 20 pounds lost (hopefully sometime this week??) I'm gonna make my parents bring the family to Outback (their salads=delicious)... something to look forward to?

Okay so, the hardcore/number information:)
(I don't have the stuff from when I was 183, so this is all 166/167 stuff)
Measurements:
Bust: 40
Waist: 32
Hips: 40

BMI: 27.2
To get to 24.9 (considered healthy zone), I would have to weigh: 152

So current goal: 150 (subject to change :) )

Anyways, I just thought I'd start one of these? I've found everyone else’s successes to be inspiring and maybe, just maybe, if I achieve my goals, I can maybe inspire someone else to achieve theirs. :)

I'll update soon :)
 
So its been a couple weeks and this morning I weighed in my lowest at 160! I'm soo excited, 23 pounds!!
I cant wait, ten to go, and losing 1 more pound will get me in the 150's the first time since like 8th/7th grade!! I'm so excited.
I have slipped up :/ like a mini snickers yesterday BUT I'm going to make an effort to stay focused, I feel soo close!

It's been torture trying to be strong during halloween and the aftermath of my friends coming to school with bags of candy, but, if i can make it through this, I can make it through anything. Or at least thats my mindset :)
 
Having just crept into the healthy BMI area myself. I know for a fact your final goal is going to be much lower.

You look in the mirror as your BMI is under 25 and go "is this it?" I think a midway point in BMI is a good place to aim for. This allows for complications (an occasion when you eat and drink loads) so that if you do gain a couple of pounds you are still in the healthy zone.
 
Thanks Skkroll! :)

Cantona said:
Having just crept into the healthy BMI area myself. I know for a fact your final goal is going to be much lower.

You look in the mirror as your BMI is under 25 and go "is this it?" I think a midway point in BMI is a good place to aim for. This allows for complications (an occasion when you eat and drink loads) so that if you do gain a couple of pounds you are still in the healthy zone.
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I totally agree with you Cantona, I just find it easier to lie to myself and say 'just ten more', I guess it makes me feel better if I think I'm super close to it. And though it hope I don't run into 'complications', it would be nice to still be considered healthy weight after one :)
 
Everyone runs into "complications".

Christmas, weddings, birthdays. Or just a Saturday night in general :)
 
Cantona said:
Nar, I find it's the booze that does me in. And the inevitable snacking that goes with it.
Click to expand...

drinking age in America is 21 so I don't have that problem yet :)

____________

Anyways, I got bored of the SBD so I've started to count calories? I'm finding it to be pretty difficult, but I calculated my BMR and know how many I should have, it's just a matter of figureing out how many I'm eating, so, since I'm struggling, things that don't come out of a package with their calories on it, I'm just gonna eat small portions so I don't totally screw up.

BUT I don't want to become one of those girls that obsessively counts their calories, I want to be carefree, but the carefree me isn't very healthy, so I'm making an effort, however much I might dislike the new me.

If anyone has any tips though? That'd be great... I just need a better way to lose weight, one where I'm not so constricted like the SBD... or if anyone has any tips on counting calories, how to make it easier?

I've been at 159 for about a week now, but then again, I haven't been trying to hard with my eating habits, I've just eating well enough to maintain, I'm trying to get my drive back by changing things up a little bit :)
 
Okay, so this morning I was at 157, soo I'm pretty much absolutely pumped!! Lowest I've been in FOREVER.
I've got 4 pounds to go until I stop and evaluate how much more I need to lose to be happy with my weight. On the upside I went to a concert Friday night, and it was pretty much awesomeness.
:) So now I'm in a good mood, and I'm actually starting to like the person I am? It's weird, but I'm NOT complaining :) Hope everyones having a great weekend :)
 
Soo.... I screwed up :/....like a week ago, that and then add on thanksgiving and 'leftovers' the next day and I'm at 163. I feel awful, like such a screwup, and I can't even look at myself in the mirror I'm so disappointed in myself...
Anyways, it was just sooo disheartening to see. On top of that, I saw my older sisters ID today and her weight says '112'. I know people lie about their weight and she does, she padded her weight. Turns out she's really around 105. While I would never want to be that thin, I still feel soooo fat and unattractive when compared to her, and now, even on my own.
So I need to go out and become inspired again to reach my goal and to stop being in the mindset of 'instant gratification'.
I guess I'm just very frusterated and I pretty much hate myself in this moment, my current goal by next weekend is to get back down to 160.
ugh.
 
Hey Shine!!! In the grand scheme of things, eating a lot around Thanksgiving is not the worst thing you could do. And it's more than somewhat expected. So don't beat yourself up about it. Today is a new day.... what's done is done, so focus on what's next. Plan out some yummy, healthy meals. For me, it doesn't take long to start feeling good once you get back on track. Hopefully you're the same way!

Keep your head up!
 
Laura F said:
Hey Shine!!! In the grand scheme of things, eating a lot around Thanksgiving is not the worst thing you could do. And it's more than somewhat expected. So don't beat yourself up about it. Today is a new day.... what's done is done, so focus on what's next. Plan out some yummy, healthy meals. For me, it doesn't take long to start feeling good once you get back on track. Hopefully you're the same way!

Keep your head up!
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Thanks Laura :)
Yeah you're right, but I've had a hard time of getting back on the right track and I still haven't been trying as much anymore, I need to just get my head straight again!
 
Heyyy! Omg its crazy how much we are alike; same height and weight and I can definitely relate to the emotional eating and feeling bad about being heavier than the people around you. I have a hard time with being patient like you mentioned the instant gratification. I just yet to tell myself that everyday that I stick to my plan is progress. We will reach our goals as long as we don't give up. Yet not to compare yourself to others because that will just discourage you! Focus on YOUR JOURNEY, and think how proud you'll be. You won't even care who is smaller once you are happy with yourself! Good luck! Keep us updated
 
thnkpositive said:
Heyyy! Omg its crazy how much we are alike; same height and weight and I can definitely relate to the emotional eating and feeling bad about being heavier than the people around you. I have a hard time with being patient like you mentioned the instant gratification. I just yet to tell myself that everyday that I stick to my plan is progress. We will reach our goals as long as we don't give up. Yet not to compare yourself to others because that will just discourage you! Focus on YOUR JOURNEY, and think how proud you'll be. You won't even care who is smaller once you are happy with yourself! Good luck! Keep us updated
Click to expand...

Haha exactly, I've been feeling so bad about it that I haven't been on the website in a little while which of course was a mistake because it always makes me feel better to see other peoples progress :) You're right about the comparing thing but its SO hard!!!

My focus is back and hopefully it'll help me get through the holidays without slipping up too badly!! I'm glad we are so similar! It'll help to see eachothers accomplishments :)
 
So I haven't been here in 4 months. A relationship with a skinny and athletic boy and being around him all the time led me in the opposite direction that I thought it would. Even though he was an amazing athlete he had horrible eating habits and I picked them up from him. Now that he's out of my life I wanna fix my mistakes. I'm back up to 178 and it's so disheartening but I'm confident that if I apply myself I can get back on the right track?
So my BMI at the moment is 29.2.
I really wanna get down to 150 this time and last time I got so close and this forum was a big part of me being more involved in my journey and served as inspiration, seeing everyone else trying so hard. Motivation and positive support and advice also was awesome!!
Maybe I'll be at 150 by the end of the summer? I really hope so!! This morning I woke up and took my little brother for a long walk, I for sure will be adding alot more exercise to my regime this time!
Anyways yeah :) I'm excited and ready to start a new chapter!

Updates soon!!
 
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