May 29, 2007: The diet begins
So here I am, a 16 year old girl - poised on the brink of womanhood, and yet without a bikini-body to my name. How devastating is that?
Well, it's pretty devastating, I'd have to say -- especially when you're as self-conscious as I am! But hey, I'm trying to get past it (the self-consciousness, I mean.)
But it's just so freaking hard to lose weight -- I'm at the point where I'm too big for a bikini, but too small to lose a decent amount of weight in a decent amount of time with only *small* changes. Which means if I want to lose this Budda-Belly I've collected over the years, I've got to make some drastic changes.
First of all: Protein is a weight-loss god. It fills the body up and becomes muscle more easily than carbs do, which is why I need to eat more protein. This is hard for me -- I don't like meat. There are a couple select things that I like that have protein in them, such as sliced lean deli turkey and Egg Creations (an egg white product), but eating a lot of them every day is going to be tough. Especially when there are things like mac 'n' cheese (yum) and fettucine alfredo (drool) available.
Second thing: White carbs are evil, enlarging gremlins designed to fatten you up so they can eat from your self-esteem. Okay, so they're not THAT evil. But the point is, I need to eat whole wheat carbs-- carbs with not just the energy of, well, carbs; but carbs with the filling power of fibre. But come on -- haven't I been DOING that already? Haven't I been ONLY EATING whole wheat things? Haven't I been having fiber cereal all the time? For ^&6*^'s sakes, why aren't I losing weight?
Third: Cut down the fat. Ah, yes, fat. My sworn enemy. Though not as evil as the sugar and white flour carbs I love so much, fat truly is a vile foe - after all, its name comes from EXACTLY what it does to my body: fatten me up. This means I have to cut down butter (tear!), anything made with butter (misery!), and anything that tastes like butter (anguish!). And I can't have the chicken skin that I love so much -- just pure, white-meat chicken breast (which isn't my favorite).
Fourth (this ties into the white carbs one): Sugar is the devil. Now, being an Atheist, I don't believe in the devil - but if there ever was a devil, sugar would definitely be it. Sugars only satisdy your body for a little while, and they increase your ghrelin and decrease your leptin, making you want -- what else? -- more sugar. And whatever sugar doesn't get worked off (most of it in my case - I barely ever exercise) gets turned to fat. Ooey, gooey, sticky, ewwy fat. I can have SOME sugar, of course - but I can't have, say, an Iced Capp. (I will miss you, Iced Cappucinoes..)
And now for the exercise..
AT LEAST 30 minutes of walking every day. No excuses. This is because your body has a sort of storage bin of calories to keep you running, and without taking out those calories, you don't burn any fat. And it takes half an hour of exercise to get rid of those calories.
Beyond that, a 20-minute workout, FIVE TIMES A WEEK. This means I have to go to the track and walk/jog with my puppy for 20 minutes. Or I could go to the gym; or hell, I could even just dance hysterically in my room.
Also: situps. SITUPS, SITUPS, SITUPS. Three sets of 15 every morning, noon, and night. Or something like that. But seriously, I need to do some situps.
As I was saying..
Today:
Today, I had a meal replacement shake (slimfast!) and a bacon and cheese sandwich for breakfast. Why, you may ask, did I have the meal replacement AND the sandwich? Because my mom made it for me. I can't just NOT eat her meal. I'll have to tell her from now on that a meal replacement is just that -- a meal REPLACEMENT. So I can't have the english muffin (white carbs!! ahh!) with the bacon and cheese (fat! Saturated fat! Trans fat! AHH!) if I'm going to have a shake as well. If I have things beyond the shake, they will be FRUIT AND VEGETABLES.
So anyway, I'm just going to say.. somewhere around 400-500 calories for breakfast. Not good. I should be having around 300 calories! CRAP! But hey, my diet book says I can't beat myself up over a setback.
Then I had an Iced Capp for my appointment with my therapist. CRAP! More calories, and extensive amounts of sugar.
But I did fairly well for lunch -- I had a salad, with light dressing, with some egg whites on the side. That whole thing was probably only 110 calories, but with around 7 grams of protein. So yay!
I plan on going for a run today with my doggy too. God I hope I do better at supper.
So here I am, a 16 year old girl - poised on the brink of womanhood, and yet without a bikini-body to my name. How devastating is that?
Well, it's pretty devastating, I'd have to say -- especially when you're as self-conscious as I am! But hey, I'm trying to get past it (the self-consciousness, I mean.)
But it's just so freaking hard to lose weight -- I'm at the point where I'm too big for a bikini, but too small to lose a decent amount of weight in a decent amount of time with only *small* changes. Which means if I want to lose this Budda-Belly I've collected over the years, I've got to make some drastic changes.
First of all: Protein is a weight-loss god. It fills the body up and becomes muscle more easily than carbs do, which is why I need to eat more protein. This is hard for me -- I don't like meat. There are a couple select things that I like that have protein in them, such as sliced lean deli turkey and Egg Creations (an egg white product), but eating a lot of them every day is going to be tough. Especially when there are things like mac 'n' cheese (yum) and fettucine alfredo (drool) available.
Second thing: White carbs are evil, enlarging gremlins designed to fatten you up so they can eat from your self-esteem. Okay, so they're not THAT evil. But the point is, I need to eat whole wheat carbs-- carbs with not just the energy of, well, carbs; but carbs with the filling power of fibre. But come on -- haven't I been DOING that already? Haven't I been ONLY EATING whole wheat things? Haven't I been having fiber cereal all the time? For ^&6*^'s sakes, why aren't I losing weight?
Third: Cut down the fat. Ah, yes, fat. My sworn enemy. Though not as evil as the sugar and white flour carbs I love so much, fat truly is a vile foe - after all, its name comes from EXACTLY what it does to my body: fatten me up. This means I have to cut down butter (tear!), anything made with butter (misery!), and anything that tastes like butter (anguish!). And I can't have the chicken skin that I love so much -- just pure, white-meat chicken breast (which isn't my favorite).
Fourth (this ties into the white carbs one): Sugar is the devil. Now, being an Atheist, I don't believe in the devil - but if there ever was a devil, sugar would definitely be it. Sugars only satisdy your body for a little while, and they increase your ghrelin and decrease your leptin, making you want -- what else? -- more sugar. And whatever sugar doesn't get worked off (most of it in my case - I barely ever exercise) gets turned to fat. Ooey, gooey, sticky, ewwy fat. I can have SOME sugar, of course - but I can't have, say, an Iced Capp. (I will miss you, Iced Cappucinoes..)
And now for the exercise..
AT LEAST 30 minutes of walking every day. No excuses. This is because your body has a sort of storage bin of calories to keep you running, and without taking out those calories, you don't burn any fat. And it takes half an hour of exercise to get rid of those calories.
Beyond that, a 20-minute workout, FIVE TIMES A WEEK. This means I have to go to the track and walk/jog with my puppy for 20 minutes. Or I could go to the gym; or hell, I could even just dance hysterically in my room.
Also: situps. SITUPS, SITUPS, SITUPS. Three sets of 15 every morning, noon, and night. Or something like that. But seriously, I need to do some situps.
As I was saying..
Today:
Today, I had a meal replacement shake (slimfast!) and a bacon and cheese sandwich for breakfast. Why, you may ask, did I have the meal replacement AND the sandwich? Because my mom made it for me. I can't just NOT eat her meal. I'll have to tell her from now on that a meal replacement is just that -- a meal REPLACEMENT. So I can't have the english muffin (white carbs!! ahh!) with the bacon and cheese (fat! Saturated fat! Trans fat! AHH!) if I'm going to have a shake as well. If I have things beyond the shake, they will be FRUIT AND VEGETABLES.
So anyway, I'm just going to say.. somewhere around 400-500 calories for breakfast. Not good. I should be having around 300 calories! CRAP! But hey, my diet book says I can't beat myself up over a setback.
Then I had an Iced Capp for my appointment with my therapist. CRAP! More calories, and extensive amounts of sugar.
But I did fairly well for lunch -- I had a salad, with light dressing, with some egg whites on the side. That whole thing was probably only 110 calories, but with around 7 grams of protein. So yay!
I plan on going for a run today with my doggy too. God I hope I do better at supper.
