Scared.

S

Starbrook

New member
Ok, so i finally figured out how to post.

I actually came online to check out plastic surgery options but I wouldn't be able to afford it anyway. So I decided to check before and after photos without surgery. I ended up here.

Truthfully, I'm scared to lose weight. I hate the way I look right now. So much so that I have horrible thoughts. I'm just scared that even if I eat right and exercise regularly and lose the weight that I will still feel the same. I'm worried that my skin will be really loose. I already have so many stretch marks and saggy skin as it is. I lost some weight a couple of years ago but stopped because of the fear and noticing the lack of elasticity of my skin. I'm 165cm (5'4). The biggest i've been is 92kg (203 pounds) and i'm currently 78kgs (172). I want to be 57kgs (125). I would really love to just be able to buy clothes without it being a big drama. The only parts of my body that don't have to be covered are my forearms, neckline and head. It makes dressing a bit hard. I should really move to a cool climate. haha. Anyway, I'm just terrified it would all be for nothing and that dressing will still be just as hard but for different reasons. That's just how I feel.
 
I am in the same boat. I am loaded with stretch marks, and my skin probably will never go back perfectly.

However one should try to look at the other benefits of the weight loss. Nothing is more important then your health. diabetes would not be good. Face your fears and move forward!
 
I think you really have to consider how reasonable your fears are compared to where you are ... and ultimately only you can decide which is worth while.

Yes, there is a chance you might have some loose skin. Would you rather have loose skin or be fat?

Yes, there is a chance you'll have stretch marks. Would you rather have stretch marks or be fat?

I have stretch marks on my tummy and thighs. I have loose skin on my belly. And you know what? I wouldn't trade it for fat for anything in the world. There is NOTHING that feels better to me than not being fat any more.

If a little loose skin or a few stretch marks (that will fade) is the balance for being able to walk into a clothing store and pick up whatever I want and have it fit ... I'll take it. If those things are the price for being able to walk up stairs w/out panting, and cross my legs when I sit, and wear a normal seatbelt, and - gosh, any one of 2 dozen other things that I couldn't do when I was fat - then I'll gladly accept my stretch marks and my loose skin.

Ultimately you have to decide which is more important to you.
 
Yes, you are both right.

I am a perfectionist. I know i'll never be perfect, it's hard to accept though. I have a tendency not to do something if I can't do it perfectly (or as close to). I can't keep living like this though so i'd better get onto it. And it would be nice to be fit and healthy. :)
 
Many of us have loose skin and stretch marks. I certainly have.

I am currently looking into the plastic surgery side of things too.

Having said that - I am convinced that I have extended my life expectancy by losing the weight that I have lost. Skin perfection doesnt really matter compared to the prospect of an early death...

I actually believe that my project saved my life. The week after I hit half my start weight at 147 pounds - I was rushed into hospital and had to have an emergency operation the next day. Anaesthetics and surgery go a whole lot better if you weight 147 pounds compared to 294 pounds...

Celebrate the weight that you have lost already and continue your journey to good health. Dont focus on the superficial aspect of your skin. I am sure that many of your worst bits are covered when you are dressed normally. Many people that I see in my day to day life are not aware of the extent of the loose skin that I carry.
 
I've had tons of stretch marks all over my body since I was a young teen. They got worse when I got pregnant, but I have them and I will always have them -- I think the fear is that you feel like the stretch marks don't matter right now because when you're overweight, it's like the fat is the problem and the stretch marks don't really matter ... and you feel like if you can't look like a supermodel once you lose the weight that it's not even worth doing. But you have to accept what is realistic for you and for most people. Even if you never have perfect skin or look like a supermodel, you'll still feel healthier and be able to use your body to it's potential. You'll still feel healthier, more attractive, and more confident.

As a reformed perfectionist, I understand where you're coming from. But, you have to understand that improving yourself is a process, and one that is never complete. You have to both be content in the person that you are in your everyday life and also eager to make improvements toward becoming a better person. I've found that actively living the process of weight-loss makes it much easier for me to be satisfied with myself as a person (as opposed to sitting around and passively watching myself get fatter), because even though I'm not where I want to be; I'm working on it.

I've just started. I have a long way to go ... I've already had setbacks--everyone does and will, but each morning I wake up still committed to my journey, and that's what's been keeping me going.

Love the process!

Best wishes to you, being scared is normal ... it's the courage to do it anyway because you know it's what is what's best for you that matters.
 
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I think we all know how you feel. We have all been there. But eventually, the stretch marks will fade and the loose skin will become tighter.

Anyway, congratulations for coming here!!! This is the first step! I believe you can do it!! Who knows, maybe you will not end up with a lot of loose skin! :D Good luck on losing the weight!
 
Sounds like we are the around the same height 5'5 but i'm 160 lbs. I was 180 at one time yoyo after having a couple of kids. Over the last year or so I just haven't cared how I've looked but now am getting really depressed over it all. I'm hoping to get back on track and start caring for myself.
 
Starbrook - I think you need to get into the right mindset before embarking on this new journey that is you. Sometimes its not even about what you are eating, but "What's Eating You?" Perhaps the need for perfection started years ago, as an expectation by a parent or the need to feel validated. Being overweight is just a symptom of something going on in your life and if you can find a way to be okay with giving it a good effort, that will be enough to get you started.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I weight 274 pounds at 5'5. I lift light weights, swim, walk and do some light aerobics. I also have one of those cool exercise balls that I do various exercises on....my point is, start somewhere, start small and just know that you are also getting healthy, from the inside out, your body will already start to thank you.

Good Luck to you!
Cheers,
Terri
 
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