Satisfaction with our looks, possible???
- Thread starter BikeSwimLaugh
- Start date
I think the answer to the question of whether or not someone can ever be truly happy with their body depends on where that person began their body-changing journey. Someone who has been overweight their entire life may never be entirely satisifed with their body even after a significant drop in weight. I, for example, have lost 35+ lbs and am still extremely dissatisfied. I think the major problem stems from the fact that we have been telling ourselves something our entire lives, and so it has become part of our being, part of our understanding of reality of how others view us and how we view ourselves. It may be that for some of us, the idea of being fat has been nearly hardwired into our brains - no less than the idea that the sky is blue and that grass is green.
This may very well be your case, BSL, as I fear it may be mine and many others' too.
This may very well be your case, BSL, as I fear it may be mine and many others' too.
VERY INSIGHTFUL......and one of the reasons I brought this up for discussion. I'm now in better shape and leaner then probably 85% of the people around me. Well, better shape then 95% and leaner then 85%....YET, I still find myself reaching for self-deprecating fat jokes. Here I am seeing myself as a fat person on a slow journey....and people around me see me as some born-again half-my-former-size fitness jock with muscles, endurance and commitment.
It's almost disgusting how much we work, lose weight and get in shape...and yet deny ourselves the accomplishment. As much and far as we've come, we just keep focusing on what's left. And to some strange degree, I'm almost scared to confront the eventual point where I'm "there"
We're through the looking-glass people!
I still see you as a bike rack
As I have gotten older the whole issue of appearance has become less important. The good thing is, my dedication to fitness is 90% driven by health and wellbeing and 10% vanity. This is more likely to keep me motivated for the long-term. I would say it was probably the other way around when I was 20, but now at 28, that has changed. I guess maybe I am starting to panic about hitting 30 and feeling that everything is down hill from now on!
Keeping physically fit has helped with a whole host of other issues too all from staving off depression and anxiety to helping with sleep and general wellbeing. And yes, you look better too, clothes on and off, which can't be a bad thing can it. All of these aspects have helped me personally become more motivated in realising that physical activity is very much a necessity for wellbeing.
Keeping physically fit has helped with a whole host of other issues too all from staving off depression and anxiety to helping with sleep and general wellbeing. And yes, you look better too, clothes on and off, which can't be a bad thing can it. All of these aspects have helped me personally become more motivated in realising that physical activity is very much a necessity for wellbeing.
Typhon, you are a funny dude. I laughed out loud at two of your posts in this thread!
BSL, I think maybe you're experiencing the Identity Crisis that comes with big weight loss and body changes. I have heard of that before. We are so used to being the Fattie that it is hard to assimilate our personality into this person who truly is no longer a Fattie.
I think I have gained confidence and curiousity as I've embarked on losing weight. At first, I was just trying now to die early and have to take Fat Lady medications. As the weight has gone away and I have squarely achieved that goal, I kinda wonder, well, what else could I do here? Is it possible for ME to look like a Sexy Lady instead? What would that take? Each day, I look at myself and acknowledge that I'm not there yet, but each day I keep trying, and keep making new goals. I trust that at some point my goals will change from weight loss to performance--like I'll want to run 10K instead of lose 10 lbs. Someday, I'll know.
This summer, I have had the experience of publicly wearing shorts for the first time in years. And a tank top. I do not look perfect but it is SO much better than sweating my ass off in pants and long-sleeved shirts. Not ready for public bathing suits yet, or Lycra ;-), but getting one step closer!
BSL, I think maybe you're experiencing the Identity Crisis that comes with big weight loss and body changes. I have heard of that before. We are so used to being the Fattie that it is hard to assimilate our personality into this person who truly is no longer a Fattie.
I think I have gained confidence and curiousity as I've embarked on losing weight. At first, I was just trying now to die early and have to take Fat Lady medications. As the weight has gone away and I have squarely achieved that goal, I kinda wonder, well, what else could I do here? Is it possible for ME to look like a Sexy Lady instead? What would that take? Each day, I look at myself and acknowledge that I'm not there yet, but each day I keep trying, and keep making new goals. I trust that at some point my goals will change from weight loss to performance--like I'll want to run 10K instead of lose 10 lbs. Someday, I'll know.
This summer, I have had the experience of publicly wearing shorts for the first time in years. And a tank top. I do not look perfect but it is SO much better than sweating my ass off in pants and long-sleeved shirts. Not ready for public bathing suits yet, or Lycra ;-), but getting one step closer!
Can you spot the 3rd bike?
Diane.....keep-up the good work. I think you might be right about what you suggest with identity. I still think of myself as "fat" and I'm afraid until I see everything on my body as "there/perfect" I'll continue to think of myself as a work-in-progress and deny myself the sense of not being a "Fatty".
But hey...it's cool. I don't want you guys thinking I'm sitting here shaking in a fetal position entirely absorbed with this psychological affliction, hardly....I'm sitting in an arm chair!
One thing that always bugged me was how people used to routinely call me "Big Guy"....ya know, "how ya doing Big Guy?"...."what's up Big Guy"...."bet your ready to eat, huh Big Guy?". I'd always ask "Big FAT or Big STRONG?" and people would always hesitate and then say "strong"....today they don't hesitate and immediately say "strong"....but it's a term I could truly live without.
Ya know, just one of those things in life that we ponder.
I get called 'big guy' all the time, and it pisses me right off. I wonder how short people would respond if we all went around saying "How ya doing, hobbit?" "Bet you can't destroy any more Rings of Power, hobbit."
Often though when people make that comment I just shrug it off and let out a small laugh. Those who say it to me don't often mean it in a negative sense, I think. I still, however, get called 'fat' to my face - and interestingly enough, that doesn't make me as angry, for I know those who need to comment on my body are, in all likelyhood, far more concerned and emberassed with their own.
Often though when people make that comment I just shrug it off and let out a small laugh. Those who say it to me don't often mean it in a negative sense, I think. I still, however, get called 'fat' to my face - and interestingly enough, that doesn't make me as angry, for I know those who need to comment on my body are, in all likelyhood, far more concerned and emberassed with their own.
carinna
0
I agree with shieldst.
Sometimes you need to look back at where you were before to fully appreciate where you are now. I know my friends see me and remember what I looked like three, four years back. When I think of that, I'm more able to be at peace with myself and my body now. I know I've worked hard for it. This is how one friend put it, "I don't see you so much as I see what's not on you anymore. and I'm proud of you."
Sometimes you need to look back at where you were before to fully appreciate where you are now. I know my friends see me and remember what I looked like three, four years back. When I think of that, I'm more able to be at peace with myself and my body now. I know I've worked hard for it. This is how one friend put it, "I don't see you so much as I see what's not on you anymore. and I'm proud of you."