Sara Maria's Weight Loss Journal

saramaria124

saramaria124

New member
This journey has been a long time coming. The reasons I want to lose weight are as follows:
~ For myself.
~ Family medical history.
~ To feel better emotionally and physically.
~ To tone up.
~ To not have to shop in plus size stores.
~ To get fit.
~ To change my life in a positive way.
~ To build positive relationships.
~ To be able to walk up the flight of stairs and not be winded.
~ To be able to wear what I want to wear.

My start weight: 231 lbs.
My current weight: 213/214 lbs.
Short term goal: 200 lbs.
Long term goal: 165 lbs.

Diary entry for September 11:
Today was a really hard day. My schedule at work does not help with me trying to regulate my eating habits. I work from 5 am- 8 am at the front desk of a gym (sitting here right now), daycare in the gym from 9-12 and then back up to the daycare at 5 pm- 8 pm. These shifts have completely disrupted everything in my life. My sleep patterns, my eating patterns, my energy levels and any desire I have to exercise. I have so much stuff to do but no time to do it in. My life has to be between 12-5 and I just moved into a new apartment and have not had any time to enjoy it.

While sitting here at front desk yesterday I had a fruit yoghurt (low fat), a nutrigrain bar, and a bowl of fruit salad from Dominion. I had my normal one cup of coffee a day but tried to eat everything with the water I bought. After the fruit bowl I started to feel more satisfied. I have had major issues in the past with portion control. For lunch I had some pasta (smaller portion) and water. And for dinner....more pasta...what I couldn't finish at lunch. Now reading that it makes me feel crappy because that's too much pasta and I know it. It's just I had a really rough day and night and by the end of it I was bawling my eyes out and very agitated.

Today is a new day though and will hopefully be better than yesterday.
 
Better day? I don't know

Yesterday was a slightly better day when it came to my eating habits but I still feel like I failed a little bit at the end of the day. I sat here and ate my fruit yoghurt and a western sandwich I made at home before I came in. For lunch I had a deli sandwich, low fat deli meat, low fat cheese, lettuce and tomato's and some mustard. I didn't eat much the rest of the day and at the end of the night I went to see a friend who works at Subway who gave me a free meatball sub (this is why I feel like I failed slightly). I got it home though and didn't feel like eating it so I ate the meatballs but not the bread and the rest of it. I have to stop feeling so guilty after I eat something bad. But I do because I know its setting me back. Especially considering I had just worked out after work for about half an hour (really lacking in energy these days). I can't wait till my schedule goes back to normal again.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
welcome to your diary... sounds like you are off to a good start... don't get so down on yourself... you did fine... even if you ate the entire meatball sub, it's 560 calories -- so based on whatever esle you ate for the day, sounds like you would have stayed within a reasonable range.

Guilt isn't good cardio.. just let it go... :D

Free food is one ofthe hardest things to resist.. sadly it's still got calories... today's a brand new day...keep your chin up and smile.. you're gonna have agreat day!
 
stress

Yesterday was not the best day. A fat comment completely threw me off but I tried not to get the best of me. I used to use things like that to binge eat junk food and whatever I could get my hands on. Now I'm hanging out with friends and just learning to relax.

While on the front desk I had a pita bread with skinny humus (not exactly a breakfast food but I get bored if I eat the same thing all the time). Today I'm having skinny baba ganush (don't know if that is how it is spelled). For lunch I ended up having a vegie wrap from the health food place and dinner I cheated a bit and went out to dinner with a girlfriend at the local chinese place and got some lemon chicken and rice and water to drink. I'm learning to not let myself feel bad. I am going to be working out today after my shift for about an hour and a half so I will hopefully work off some of bad stuff I ate yesterday.

Hopefully today will be a better day for me.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
I read about the comment made to you, and I don't blame you for being thrown for a loop! But that person's ignorant comment is a reflection of THEM not YOU. You're working to change, and that shows what a wonderful person you are! I'll be sending strong thoughts your way today! :)
 
Thanks hon. I appreciate that. I am going to work out today after I finish work and then I'm going to walk home. I used to live 45 minutes from work and now I live only 20 minutes walk so I'm going to take advantage of the relatively nice weather and walk it.

These diaries are really good outlet. I also have a website though I haven't updated recently. I have a few more pictures I want to put up.



~ Sara Maria ~
 
You're human and those things will affect you, but don't let it keep you down! You're too great of a person for that, screw him and his little weeny! hehehe It makes me feel better to say that! ok...I'm sorry *focus OHD* Do your thing girl, you've made some GREAT lifechanges and some awesome success. Keep it up, we're right behind you...cheering you on! *big hug*
 
I think I did well today eating wise. I had some skinny baba ganush and pita in the am, snacked on a raspberry nutrigrain bar just before starting my second shift, I got a light pasta salad from dominion (greek) and I snacked on another nutri grain bar for a snack and when I got home from work I made myself a sandwich with lean cajun turkey slices, a slice of cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, light mayonaise and mustard. I wouldn't have a clue how many calories that was. My boyfriend says I eat way too little during the day so I've been trying to increase it a bit more. He saw me put together my breakfast and snack for the next day and he told me to make more rather than less. He and I met here at the gym and he's also on a health kick at the moment. We are hardly ever on the same schedule though because I'm here from 5 am till 12 pm and then back here for 5 pm to 8 pm. He starts work at 12 and finishes around 9:30 pm, sometimes later if he has to do overtime. My nasty comment friend hasn't come back in that day. I'm hoping that he wont be coming in today either or at least until I am up in daycare. My boss plans to have words with him about it.

I had a really crappy night last night when it came to feeling upset and emotional. I got into a fight with my boyfriend over something so stupid and it made me upset and made me want to binge but I went to bed and read a book and just helped myself relax and steered clear of the fridge. I've had so many issues with food and my body and I'm finally starting to feel better about my food choices and I feel great about my body. I love having my curves and the rush of knowing that I did this myself. I made the decision to go for it and gave it my all. I just need to put that motivation into affect and work out a bit more than I have been.

Anyhow...this will be my last journal entry for the week as my new apartment doesn't have internet yet and I'm using a work computer....so I'll post some more for the next couple of hours and then I'll see you guys Monday!!

~ Sara Maria ~
 
Hey Saramaria124,

First of all a belated welcome to the forum. You have come to the right place for support and the change of getting everything out that bothers you, well its good for the mental balance:)
On that note, I want to say good on you for taking the first steps in your new life. Of course its hard to stick with it in the start with people saying mean comments and troubles with your boyfriend, but you should be very proud on that note. You managed to stay on track in spite of it:) Anyway if there is anything, just say so, and these amazing people in here will help you in whatever way they can...
Have a great weekend and enjoy the new apartment.
 
coffee is doing nothing.

Thanks hon. I've enjoyed coming onto the forums. Not alot happens here this early in the am at the gym, so this has been great to read articles and get insight.

Right now I'm feeling really hungry but that's only because I am having my one cup of coffee a day, and I have crackers, yoghurt and a few choices to snack in after breakfast (egg and light cheese on an english muffin). Today's going to be quite a day because I work until 12 and then I get to go and move the last of my stuff out of the old apartment.

I've been making a really concerted effort to bring my own food to work rather than buy food also. Saves me money, and I'm more likely to bring something healthy than if I went out and bought something to eat. I have a tendency to do that, go out too much to eat. One more thing I'm working on to improve my health and my lifestyle.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
Good job on resisting your urge to binge when you were upset! That's a MAJOR pitfall for most of us, and you did great!:D
 
Ok, so I'm back earlier than I said because today I am working on front reception from 8 am- 8 pm. Oh boy...I can just feel myself being dead on my feet by the end of the day but it will be great money when my paycheque comes.

Weekend eating has been good. Smaller portions of better food. Kellogs Special K berry mix cereal for breakfast, nutri grain bar as a snack, a sandwich with lean cajun turkey slices, a slice of cheese, low fat mayo, tomatoes, onion, avocado and a little bit of mustard and for dinner a cup of pasta and a salad.

This morning I ate a bowl of cereal just before I left, and brought a low fat yoghurt (blueberry) and a nutrigrain bar to snack on in a few hours, for lunch a small portion of pasta for lunch, a bag of cherry tomatoes for snacking on this afternoon and then I will figure out dinner when I get home.

This is going to be a very loooooooong day so I will probably be on here quite a bit.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
hi SaraMaria!
Sounds like you've been doing wonderful hon! And I was just thinking too, don't beat yourself up too much if you don't get to exercise much on certain days, cos working in that daycare is probably exercise enough!!! I'm a nanny, so I know the work that goes into taking care of kids! haha

But yeah, I really admire you for not binge eating when you were feeling upset. That is a really hard things to accomplish!

Congrats on your success so far! and keep up the good work!

x
monica
 
I hardly ever sit down when I'm at the daycare...constantly moving and constantly doing something so I think that's one reason why I might have kept losing though I wasn't exercising on the machines as much. I've been eating healthy just not exercising as much.

It's sitting here on front reception that kills me. I am going to be sitting here for another 9 hours and 20 minutes. I'm going to have to get up and just walk around behind the desk to get the blood flowing again.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
5 1/2 hours into my shift....been sitting for 5 1/2 hours.....God...I've eaten a nutrigrain bar (apple cinnamon). I've also had 1/4 of a portion of a fruit bowl. And I am working on a 1 cup portion of pasta with plain tomato sauce and a light bit of parmesan cheese on it. I have the cherry tomatoes to snack on for the rest of the afternoon and then I plan on walking home from work. I'm so bored right now. It's not that busy and its driving me nuts. I still have 6 1/2 hours to go.....help me guys....

~ Sara Maria ~
 
This work schedule is completely screwing up my plans and ability to do anything. I hate it. I would love to work out, go for a long walk in the sun, make myself dinner, but as it is by the time I get home I am going to be ready to crash because I have to wake up at 4 am.
 
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Half an hour to go......wooohoooo....i finished my tomatoes, and my other nutrigrain bar and I will probably try and eat something small when I get home. See you at 5 am peeps!!

~ Sara Maria ~
 
Oh My Gosh this is going to be another very long day.....5 am- 8 on reception....9-12 daycare, 1-4 at Addition-Elle, and 5pm - 8 pm at the daycare...can anyone say burn out waiting to happen?

Today I brought with me, hummus and pita, two nutrigrain bars and crackers. I forgot to bring myself lunch. If my boss marie gets here on time than I will run home and grab some money and buy something when I get to Warden and Eglinton if possible.....my head hurts just thinking about the next three days. I'll see if I can handle it today and if I can't I'm going to ask my boss to find someone for Wednesday evening. Or even tommorow evening or I will crash and burn. I can guarantee it. And I forgot my money at home...darn it.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
I feel like I'm having a fat day today. I am sitting here and looking down at my stomach and just see the (albiet) smaller roll I have around the waistline of my pants. I know its smaller because if you look at pictures of me before and after you can see my stomach has gone down quite a bit, but it still bugs me and I feel like though I have been eating right the lack of exercise due to working so much has not been getting me results and yeah...hence me feeling like I'm having a fat day. I'm eating better, but I want to exercise more. Today I'm working straight from 5 am- 8 pm at two different jobs and by the time I get home I will be crashing into bed and waking up and doing it all over again. Sheesh.

~ Sara Maria ~
 
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