The time has come. I am starting an online diary.
current weight: 217 lbs; height: 5'9".
I have been stalled around 217 for the past month and a half, after losing about 15 pounds in 4 months (most of which was 10 lbs in 2 months july-august). And I know why; I have been unable to keep my calorie intake around 1800 as I am supposed to.
I seem to have lost all self control since fall semester started. I think when I have time to relax and eat, I just keep eating until I feel full and relaxed. I don't binge excessively; I am usually around 2500 calories a day, sometimes up to 2900 if I drink many glasses of wine or have chocolate/dessert.
The more I write, the more I feel I am trying to justify my actions, yet they seem so childish... When I am hungry, I don't feel like grabbing carrots, I want meat, carbs, etc... I feel like I am under so much pressure that I don't want to pressure myself when it comes to food, like it's the only thing I get to control so I 'reverse-control' it or something...
It all boils down to the fact that I have no self control with food and I am feeling really stupid right now. I know I should drink more water, do relaxation exercises, eat more veggies... it's like a high schooler procrastinating to do homework; it doesn't feel good, but somehow I keep doing it... Can't quite get back on the wagon... bleh.
Like every sunday, I am telling myself that tomorrow, I will get back on. I feel better when I eat better; no secret there. Maybe I should give myself weekly goals, like no snacking (except fruit/cheese/veggies) and no dessert? Ugh, just thinking about it is stressing me out!
current weight: 217 lbs; height: 5'9".
I have been stalled around 217 for the past month and a half, after losing about 15 pounds in 4 months (most of which was 10 lbs in 2 months july-august). And I know why; I have been unable to keep my calorie intake around 1800 as I am supposed to.
I seem to have lost all self control since fall semester started. I think when I have time to relax and eat, I just keep eating until I feel full and relaxed. I don't binge excessively; I am usually around 2500 calories a day, sometimes up to 2900 if I drink many glasses of wine or have chocolate/dessert.
The more I write, the more I feel I am trying to justify my actions, yet they seem so childish... When I am hungry, I don't feel like grabbing carrots, I want meat, carbs, etc... I feel like I am under so much pressure that I don't want to pressure myself when it comes to food, like it's the only thing I get to control so I 'reverse-control' it or something...
It all boils down to the fact that I have no self control with food and I am feeling really stupid right now. I know I should drink more water, do relaxation exercises, eat more veggies... it's like a high schooler procrastinating to do homework; it doesn't feel good, but somehow I keep doing it... Can't quite get back on the wagon... bleh.
Like every sunday, I am telling myself that tomorrow, I will get back on. I feel better when I eat better; no secret there. Maybe I should give myself weekly goals, like no snacking (except fruit/cheese/veggies) and no dessert? Ugh, just thinking about it is stressing me out!
