Samah's diary

S

samah75

New member
Hi All,

I introduced myself briefly in newcomers, and here I'll talk a bit more about myself. I feel its important to write down my own views on how I perceive myself, how I have felt/feel about my weight, what i see as obstacles to losing weight, what and why I hope to achieve, and anything else that pops into my head; all in the hope that it will help me and others to see what ive been doing, where i am and where i hope to go with my weight problem.

For starters, I am a 27 yr old female, 5'6", and weigh in at my all-time high of 73.6kg, around 160.4 lb and 11 st 8. I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovaries (PCO) when I was 15 yrs old, and have had my battles with the bulge on and off ever since.

I had never been too concerned about the implications of PCO before, and wanted to lose weight more for the way I look than anything else.. in fact on a number of times over the last 12 years I have managed to actually lose enough for people to say i look 'slim'!! I was fortunate that, although common with PCO ladies, I have never been obese, and till a short while back my BMI was just within the upper limit of normal. But to me that doesnt matter, as I KNOW im fat with rolls of flesh around my midriff and hips.


The worst (or best!) thing thats helped me to gain weight is when people around me tell me that im not fat, just 'robust' and 'healthy with a few extra pounds that dont show'.

I got married in July 2007, and had managed to lose some weight for the wedding, but since then I have not been able to maintain my own eating habits and lifestyle as when I did living on my own, and the pounds have crept back up at an alarming rate.

Being Asian, my hubby likes his curries nice and 'rich'. He doesnt have an extra ounce on him, so weight loss isnt really a concern, and he doesnt see the sense in strict diets, just thinks eating 'healthy' is enough i.e. home-cooked meals with no sugary desserts and a fruit thrown into the day.
However, both my hubby, and my family (after all these years!), still dont seem to understand that when i eat the same as them, i.e. normal home-cooked meals, I STILL gain weight, and for me to actually lose I have to be on a perpetual diet, which gets really frustrating especially when u have to cook for others who dont want to eat what you should. It doesnt help that all my family members are stick-thin and can eat whollops of ice-cream and gorge on fries and still not gain an ounce! At present, I am back with my family temporarily as my dad is ill with terminal cancer, and the stress factor doesnt help to lose weight either!

Now, my main purpose for losing weight is health reasons, and I also want to try for a baby soon, but need to bring my weight down by at least 30 lbs so that 1) its easier to conceive, 2) im not overweight at the start of pregnancy so i dont have too much to lose later (if, God-willing, I do get pregnant!) and 3) I minimise the risk of PCO-related health problems, especially during and post-pregnancy.

I felt the new year was a good time to start losing weight (how original, right!) and so, yesterday I started some light exercise by jogging on my treadmill for about 10 minutes (as a begining, hope to work up to at least half and hour soon) plus a few cycles of sit-ups, etc.

I had also been to an accu-pressurist recently for my PCO problem to regulate my periods, and she told me that I have severe water depletion in my body, with the result that toxins are building up. This scared me, so I vowed to start drinking at least 2 litres of water a day. I managed to get through 1 and a half yesterday. I am still confused about whether warm water or cold is better for weight loss. Any suggestions anyone?!

Plus, I avoided all fatty and sweet foods, and tried to have my 'five-a-day'.

However, I still think this is nowhere near enough to actually lose weight, its probably just enough to manintain my present weight.

Unfortunately, I cant do anything like join a gym, or go for long walks, as my father needs constant care and so I need to be around to do my bit.
However, I do have a treadmill in my room, and Im hoping that is my key to losing weight, combined with the 'healthy eating'.

I am now off to do my morning exercise, and will hopefully keep a closer note of what I eat so I can put it into my diary at the end of the day.

Would love to hear from you nice people out there, just to know Im not alone!

Cheers,

Sam
 
Welcome Sam! I'm 27 too! And though my fiance is not Asian, my Chinese mother swears he must have been in a past life. He has a thing for Chinese sausage, which is seriously one of the worst things you can eat. Lol.

If you're going to be working out at home, I would invest in a stability ball, dumb bells and either a step platform or a compact stepper. Those are the items I use with my personal trainer if we're not training on the gym equipment.
 
thanks for dropping by my diary! when's ur wedding? i'm sure u will look fantastic in ur wedding dress, with lots of motivation!
I soo wish i'd had enough time to lose loads for mine, but even though i'd been engaged since a while, we hadnt set a wedding date coz i was still studying and he was jobless, and then all of a sudden the time seemed right so we set a date and were married within 3 weeks!! Needless to say, I starved myself and bought an exercise bike which i used religiously during those 3 weeks, so managed to drop quite a bit, but then post-marriage, with the honey-moon travelling and eating, the weight just shot up and has been increasing ever since. BUT NOT ANYMORE!!
the wedding photos are a huge incentive too, coz they stay with u for life and looking thin in those will definitely put a smile on ur face whenever u see them the rest of ur life!
Will drop in ur diary frequently, as i hope u will mine!

Cheers,

Sam
 
Thanks for introducing yourself in my diary. You have made a really good move in joining the forum. :hurray: You are far from alone with this problem.:grouphug:

There are quite a few other PCOS girls that are quite active on this forum - plus one or two others that have posted occasionally. You may want to check out their diaries. The most active ones are Amber (Ambalove), Natalie Jo, Janice (Abbagirl).

I think that the treadmill is going to be the key thing for you. Get on it whenever you can. It is a way of getting your walk in - and walking is the only thing that has been effective for me. Weather conditions in the area of Canada where Janice lives means that she rarely gets the chance to get out for a walk at this time of year and she swears by the time she spends on her treadmill. She has a trick where she has a tv hooked up near the treadmill and whenever certain programs are on she walks her way through them. You could so the same thing and still be on hand to help out your father and be really effectively dealing with your health issues.

Although I can well understand you wanting to be more toned - if losing weight because of PCOS implications is the key thing for you - I would get in that treadmill time without worrying about weights too much. As a rule of thumb I think that I spend about three hours a day out walking (maybe a little more) before I go to my other keep fit classes and I have to say that I am getting weight loss that I would think more appropriate for a "non PCOS" person on a diet. It is so nice to see the pounds come off.

Because PCOS puts a special spin on things - I have turned my project into a bit of a study on how my body works. I keep a spreadsheet where I list everything that can remotely be considered pertinent to weight loss.

I weigh every day - principally because I have been known to put on immense amounts of weight in a week - although I recognise that many people advise against weighing every day and that it certainly would not suit many people. Weighing every day - I have to be reasonably adept at interpreting things as you cannot expect weight to always head in the same direction. Everyone experiences normal fluctuations in these things. Your weight naturally goes up as you retain water for a few days before and sometimes during a period. If you eat food that is too salty or spicy you can get water retention and a weight gain. Also if you have a big meal with lots of rice or pasta the weight of the food can hang in your tummy. Toilet issues need to be considered too. Frankly - if you have had a good clearout you will weigh less than if you havent.

I like many people try to drink 2 litres of cold water a day. It does take quite a bit of doing but it does seem to help.

Anyway with weighing every day - I keep this info on my spreadsheet. I also keep info about distance walked, other exercise done, toilet visits and what I ate that day.

Data on what I ate means that over the month I have been able to gear my diet towards the meals that seem to suit me best. Basically if you do similar amounts of exercise most days then it is interesting to compare the meal that you ate with your weight variation. Some meals give me a very slight weight loss virtually every time I have them. Frankly - if you are doing the cooking - I would cook the meals that suit you best. Family members may have to alter their view of what constitutes a normal home-cooked family meal.

I get a very good result on the scales with salmon (I rub a little olive spread on the surfaces then wrap in foil and bake for 25 minutes) served with new potatoes and sweetcorn.

Most roast dinners are great with any roast meat, gravy (not made with the meat juices), and a vast selection of boiled vegetables.

Every day I list exactly what I eat in my diary. I dont count calories but I do eat sensibly and healthily. I dont weigh things - I use handfuls because I am learning an approach to eating that I can continue though my life not just for the duration of the weight loss period of my diet. In the past I have dieted and weighed everything very carefully and counted every calorie. When I have stopped dieting (in despair at having not followed the rules for a day) I have stopped weighing anything or counting any of the calories. Since I do not count calories - I do not feel the same feelings of failure when I eat something that I shouldnt.

I will try and pop by your diary to visit you sometimes - but feel free to visit me in my diary or PM me if you have any questions specifically for me. I visit quite a lot of diaries so it means that I cannot get round to any one person too frequently. I also sometimes have to skim read so can miss something if there have been quite a lot of postings since I last visited.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Thank you so much Margaret!

I will definitely take on board all that uve said, and try and work out how best to beat the bulge! will drop in on the diaries of other PCO girls u mentioned too.
 
Our wedding is going to be in late fall, early winter this year. I'm really going to have to lose the bulk of my weight before June because I won't have enough time to get a wedding dress that fits properly if I wait any longer.

Any luck on getting your husband to jump on the healthy lifestyle bandwagon too?
 
my hubby already thinks he eats healthy!!

he is of the old school, and thinks as long as you cook at home using natural, unprocessed ingredients, its healthy!
I cant convince him to drink skim or semi-skimmed milk instead of full-fat, to have low-fat PUF spreads instead of butter, or have artificially sweetened or diet products instead of sugary drinks and desserts.

Breakfast isnt such a problem, especially since he often fixes his own. Neither is lunch when Im on my own and he is at work. The real trouble I face is when the two of us eat lunch or dinner together, which he insists we share alike. As I mentioned earlier, he loves his curries 'rich' ie cooked with lots of oil, which he often leaves on his plate while eating, but insists is a must for bringing out a good flavour while cooking.
Also, we have this chicken/meat clash! I much prefer lean chicken, while he is a meat man! Hence, I end up not enjoying the meal as much as I would like to because a) im thinking how fattening it all is and b) I would have preferred the flavour of a chicken curry anyday! But Im happy that at least he is happy! And I know this may sound silly, but I believe that sharing a common meal, especially one which you cook for your man, or vice versa, strengthens the bond you share, as opposed to both of you eating different things prepared separately.

However, I have to say he has his strong points too, and his 'unprocessed' tastes have convinced me to abandon refined sugar (and sweeteners!) in favour of raw cane sugar, to cut down snacking on cereal bars and increase my consumption of fresh and dried fruit and nuts for snacks, to cut down on chocolates and ice-creams for dessert and also, to start drinking green tea; something i never did before.

At present though,as I mentioned I am not with my husband since Im staying with my family, but hopefully will return to hubby dearest sometime soon...Its been a month away and I miss him dreadfully!

I sure hope to surprise him with at least SOME weight loss when we meet next..even he noticed how I started gaining weight so fast after the wedding n got excited thinking I may be pregnant. sadly, that isnt the case!
I do hope that happens once I lose some weight tho. its my biggest incentive now!
 
I totally agree with you on the food. I think eating at least one meal together keeps a couple/family together. Meals, at least in my family, are one of the ways we connect. It's part of our culture and our heritage.

That being said, sometimes these delicious family meals are the worst for the waistline right? My fiance loves curry too, but the Chinese kind which doesn't entail as much oil/ghee as Indian curry, but it does include coconut milk which is just as fat and calorie laden. When I make him curry now I just omit the coconut milk and use chicken broth and organic skim milk (it's much creamier than non organic), he's not much of a critic so I don't think he minds.

I've just resolved to serve myself a fraction of what I serve him. And then I eat much slower. I take a drink of water between bites. I put my eating utensils down between bites. I cut my food up into smaller pieces. Then we spend the same amount of time at the table and I'm eating much less.

Have you tried using buffalo meat instead of non chicken meat? It takes a lot like other red meats but is significantly lower in fat which might solve your meat issue.
 
Deeds for the day- 02/01/2008

So, here I am back to record my day.

Exercise: 12 mins jogging on treadmill. 15 mins of sit-ups and stomach crunches, lunges, waist bends, squats, etc. Nothing heavy duty, just enough to feel that heart beating and those muscles working.

Breakfast: an egg, a slice of toast, freeshly squeezed orange juice and a cup of tea (1 sugar, skim milk)

Snack: A banana

Lunch: a hotch-potch pie of macaroni, cauliflower, potato and white sauce with a bit of cheese, a slice of bread and a clementine for dessert.

A cup of tea and a wheat biscuit.

Dinner: More of the pie from lunch, but less in quantity, which left me feeling hungry within an hour, so then I ate an apple, half a banana and 2 dates.

Drinks: 1.5 ltrs warm water. No drinks apart from o.j. with breakfast and 2 cups of tea. (Im glad Im a teetotaller!)

Analysis: I havent counted the calories because this time round trying to lose weight, I decided I wouldnt do that as I can get obsessive about it, but just from looking at what Ive eaten, I think I shouldve skipped that pie or else fixed myself another without the cheese. Maybe substituted it with chicken? dunno. Could also have done without that wheat biscuit with tea, and at night, I shouldve cut down to 1 date instead of 2, maybe skipped the half banana as well.

Result: Not too pleased. I dont think I'll get anywhere near my goal at this rate. Will try harder tmrw.

P.S. If anyone is reading this, I would really appreciate any advice, suggestions, criticism, whatever you think may help me! Thanks
 
I cannot help but think that you eating fattening curries out of a romantic notion of togetherness and eating what he wants to eat is fraught with danger for a PCOS lady. Naturally at the end of the day it is your choice.... You run the risk of having a much bigger mountain to climb than needs be the case. You may consider yourself to be large - but you could suddenly find yourself a whole lot larger. I was 126 pounds in my mid twenties before I suddenly gained vast quantities of weight as I first married. The gain was very sudden and it brought with it all the PCOS symptoms that you have probably read of and thanked goodness that you didnt have. It was only later that I discovered that it was down to PCOS. Infertility never got solved as there was too much weight to lose. I am 48 years old now. Facial and body hair is also par for the course. Some PCOS ladies start to lose their hair (thankfully not me - but I know some on this forum).

I am not suggesting that you turn your back on your culture - but I would strongly recommend that you consider carefully how much more preferable changing recipes for a low fat version or for that matter eating meals cooked to slightly different recipes could be. Batches could be made on different days and frozen - with his and hers recipe items kept in the freezer.

In all honesty I think that the togetherness comes in sitting down to eat together - not in both plates containing the same recipe. Many a courting couple sits down in a restaurant and orders different meals from the menu without spoiling the romance of the situation.

I am lucky - our marriage was strong and we are still together - but not every marriage survives morbid obesity, facial hair, and infertility. Why take risks with your eyes wide open.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Food for thought!

Thanks so much for that Margaret!

You are so right, and what you've said has really opened my mind to what the future may hold.

As I said before, I had never really thought about the implications of PCOS before apart from the weight issue, but since getting married, and gaining weight quite fast, Ive started to read up and realise that its more than just the weight gain which may be a problem in the future.

And hearing about your experience, I think its really bringing home to me the fact that I need to change my eating habits NOW rather than just do a quick-fix weight loss, otherwise its bound to creep back up with time, and get harder to lose.

I dont know anyone around me with PCOS who is older, so no real-life advice, mistakes and experiences to learn from. Even my gynaecologists, (Ive been to a few!) have never really warned me or advised me about later in life problems, they simply send me away with an anti-androgen pill and tell me I should lose a bit of weight and all will be fine. In fact one GP actually told me that its a 'myth' that women with PCOS commonly suffer from infertility, she said its simply that it takes them longer to fall pregnant!!!

I guess what I really do need to hear is actual life experiences from people like you and other older women with PCOS who have already struggled with the condition and learnt alot of do's and dont's later in life. I do hope you dont think Im being mean or selfish, because honestly, I totally admire you for what youve achieved and wish you further success every inch of the way!

Ive decided Im going to devote some time everyday to looking up low-fat versions of yummy recipes, and write them down in my own cook-book, so that I can cook them later for hubby and me without feeling guilty.
Also, I will have to talk to him about the realities of PCOS, and make him realise that I dont mind eating 'diet' food while he eats 'regular' food, as long as it keeps me healthy and well. Part of the problem is probably that he feels guilty or thinks I'll feel deprived if he's eating a yummy curry while I gorge on veggies, so I need to convince him otherwise.

I think Ive also been looking at things from the wrong angle, telling myself that he is a wonderful man who loves me no matter what I look like so it doesnt matter if I put on a few extra pounds through eating the foods he likes and wants me to share, as he wont mind the extra weight. However, now I realise he would be far happier and love me more for looking after my health and not harming myself through eating unsuitable food for his sake.

I know its going to be difficult to achieve an ideal situation where he too eats the kind of food I need to, but ur right about a couple being able to bond over a cosy meal without necessarily eating the same food. I shall try to make him realise this.

Writing down all of this has really put things into perspective!!

If anyone out there has good low-fat Indian and other recipes, please do share them!!

Thanks again Margaret!!!
 
I am so pleased that you accepted the advice in the constructive manner that it was given. I did worry that you may think that I was suggesting that you abandon your culture either in form of food or in attitude towards your husband's wishes. I would never want you to do something that you were uncomfortable with - but I felt it important that you understood the possible consequences of your actions.

It is wise for you to acquaint yourself with various realities regarding PCOS health risks. Attitudes like those displayed by your doctors are fine for people that want to try not to worry about things unless they become a problem - but many of us feel that prevention is better than a cure and if we know of risks we can be looking out for them.

You may find the following links to be of interest.









You can do a google search on PCOS or similar and see what you can find.

They may help your hubby to recognise that there is more than a few extra pounds on your tummy to be considered.

If I were you it may be worth double checking that the anti-androgen pill is not also a contraceptive pill - because I have known people take what they understood was a PCOS pill and then later discover that it also happened to be a contraceptive pill.

Do not focus too strongly on the health risks as the fact that your weight is currently comparitively low is in your favour regarding them. I am not trying to frighten you - just help you educate yourself. Knowing of them may give added drive to your weight loss project since clearly we have more than the average person to gain from acquiring and maintaining a weight which is definitely "healthy" - if possible towards the low end of the "healthy" range.

I think that you would benefit from checking out the diaries of the other PCOS ladies that I mentioned to you. I am sure that you will feel fortunate to be at your current weight as you begin to deal with the wider implications of PCOS.

Finally - I think that you building a recipe book of low fat recipes is an excellent idea. In all honesty - you are in the early days of your marriage - and I am sure that soon your hubby will think of the food that you make as just being the way that you cook it.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
hello I just wanted to stop by to welcome you! :waving: Well I know that you said your husband is asian...and although mine is not but is Mexican so I can relate to how you feel when it comes down to cooking. I cook Mexican food for him and so I always cook something healthy for me like grilled-chicken with salad just somthing other than the mexican food cause its very fatting and he dont gain NOTHING..crazy but i just thats life! you can stop by my diary, i post what i eat each day! Good luck to loosing weight!
 
My day 03/01/2008

Exercise: I was not very good in this aspect. Jogged for 10 mins on treadmill, and another 15 mins of assorted exercises aimed at blasting my abs, waist, hips and bum.
Not too pleased with this routine. Will start walking with jogging bursts, to increase time on treadmill. ie keep moving and keep burning. Also, need to find new workout exercises aimed at those trouble areas.
Suggestions welcome!

Breakfast(can it be called that?!) : A tiny slice of sponge cake at 5am.

(Unfortunately my days are messed up, as I stay up with my ill father on alternate nights, so end up sleeping at 6am and waking around noon/1 pm every other day, hence go right into lunch on these funny days)

Lunch: A big bowl of vegetable soup, and a small portion of chicken curry with bread.

(Didnt have enough time to fix myself something else, hence ate what was cooked for the family, but a smaller amount of what they ate, and filled up on the soup)

A cup of tea and NO biscuits! :hurray:

Dinner: TWO bowls of vegetable soup and some roast chicken. Ate to my fill coz I was starving then!

Drinks: Managed just about 1.5 ltrs water, and 1 glass of fresh o.j. with lunch.


Analysis:
I dont think Im eating well, as in the right amounts of the right foods. However, in the past I have tried preplanning, counting and trying to stick to daily targets in terms of food types, grams and calories, and i would get too obsessed with it all to the point where, if i couldnt count every gram I put into my mouth, I felt I was doomed to gain weight. So this time round, I really dont want to be too drastic with myself, and really want to ease into a lifestyle change which will be 'doable' for the rest of my life. Oh, and I didnt eat any fruit!!

Result:
I think I should eat more at lunch, even if Im not that hungry, or perhaps eat a small lunch and another small meal around teatime, and then not fill up too much on dinner, especially if Im not going to be up all night with Dad. Alternatively, the nights that I AM staying up all night, I should eat a good dinner, so that Im not tempted to snack on anything through the night or snack on fruit if necessary.


Again; advice, suggections, criticism, all warmly welcome!
 
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When we were taking care of my grandpa and grandma (different instances) there was always someone with them at the hospital so I can definitely relate to what you're going through. My mom, who was the primary care taker ended up pre packing her own snacks. She opted for things like tofu and nuts but personally munching on fruits and veggies (celery, carrots, cucumber slices, radishes, etc.) was always more effective for me. Sometimes I would include something to dip them in, sometimes ranch, other times lemon with curry powder (I like spicy foods) or just eat them straight up.

It's inevitable that you get hungry every 4 hours or more, and though some people might not agree with this, loading up on one meal to get you through an 8 hour stretch is probably not going to work. Is it possible for you to split your dinner in two? Eat half around dinner time with your family and then eat the other half 3-4 hours before going to bed?
 
Hmmmm thats a thought Ive been toying with myself!

I have been reading up on PCOS more lately, (thanks for those links Margaret!) and in fact it is suggested that PCOS ladies eat more frequent smaller meals, like you suggested. This has a beneficial effect on regulating blood glucose and insulin levels, decreasing the risk of developing insulin resistance over time.

So will try out the smaller frequenter meals/snacks today and let you guys know how it goes!

Cheers,
Sam
 
I am pleased that you have been doing a little research. As you see - experts like the idea of lots of little meals which is a good idea. I have also read the suggestion that we should try to only have carbohydrate with protein. I suspect that this means if you have rice, pasta or potatoes - have a little protein and not just veg with it. Amber is being monitored by dieticians and I note that this is also their advice to her (but I have read it on a PCOS site on the internet). I have quite a bit of breakfast cereal - pricipally weetabix which I always have with milk and honey shreddies which I always have dry as a little snack. The thing with most breakfast cereals is that they do contain protein so I suspect that this is why having them dry does not seem to cause me a problem.

Regarding food times - my suggestion would be to not stick to traditional meals at traditional mealtimes on occasions when you are effectively working a night shift. Since you are currently away from your husband there should not be the concern of whether you manage to sit down for that meal time together. Eating lunch because it is there despite not being hungry is not a great move.

Switching shifts on alternate days is not an easy pattern to follow. Your body will not get used to one pattern or the other so it will be very difficult. It may be worth say - you doing 3 or 4 nights at a time and try alternating with that. That would be nearer what you would do if you were being employed in a job and 2 people needed to cover the night between them.

A meal can be made for the rest of the family - and your portion put to one side and heated up later when you are ready for it.

If you are just out of bed as the rest of the family sit down to lunch - put your food to one side and have something that fits in with your appetite. I probably would just want a banana - but if you are ready for some breakfast cereal - have that.

I graze on lots of little snacks / meals all day long.

Most afternoons sees me eating breakfast cereal - one way or another.

I dont try and get my food to meet any calorie / nutrient level criteria - but I eat a very repetitive diet and have checked these things in the past and everything has been fine. The main thing that I try and do is make my food balanced. Each day I have some fruit, veg, protein, cereal, skimmed milk. Due to my addiction to raisins - there is little doubt that I will get in 5 portions of fruit / veg without even trying.

Try and bump up your water consumption to 2 litres. I know that it is difficult. I sit with a 2 litre bottle of water and simply do not go to bed until it is finished. It often means that I have to go to the toilet several times during the night.

I would say try and make sure that your last meal is over maybe 3 hours before you go to bed whatever time that may be. That way it will not sit around on your stomach.

I definitely think that you want to spend a lot longer on the treadmill - but we have discussed that already elsewhere.

Take care
Love
Margaret
 
Horrible day- 4/1/2008

Soon after my previous entry this morning, I got on my treadmill and was pleased to do a whole half hour of walking, with at least 3 5-minute jogging spells in between. Then about 15 mins of other exercises.

I was just through with my shower and munching on an apple when my mum called me to have a look at dad as he was gasping and not looking well at all. We had to rush him to hospital as he was having trouble breathing, with abdominal distension due to gross fluid accumulation (due to the cancer spread) and fluid around his lungs, etc etc and then the rest of the day was spent rushing around at the A&E getting tests and procedures done and finally admitting him. I didnt have a morsel till around 7pm, and hardly a glass of water either, by which time my stomach growling was audible a mile away, and I had the worst headache imaginable..
Needless to say, as soon as my sister turned up with goodies from the cafeteria, I gorged! I had specifically requested that she bring me low-fat anything, but she said that none of 'that stuff' was left by then!

So what turned out as quite a promising day ended up pretty disastrously, and I have really noticed how whenever my Dad gets admitted to hospital (this is the 4th time in 3 months) my appetite seems to grow manifold! I guess its the stress, but even though I consciously will myself not to get tensed up, it doesnt seem to help the hunger pangs, which are so bad they make my stomach hurt!

Now I am finally home, as my sister and mom will stay the night with my dad. I am totally knackered and just want to fall into bed. I feel miserable about my dad, about not drinking enough water and not eating right. The worst is, I have to rush back to the hospital early morning, which means no time for treadmill or anything. I wish I was more in control of my life, had more of a routine I could depend on...

Just me ranting...hope things are better tomorrow.
 
hello..About your workouts.... I know you said you needed help with those troubled areas.. well i do the Biggest Loser Dvd sometimes during the week and its a killer!! It works really good for the hips, butt well all of the lower areas! (Its the 2nd one the the Biggest Loser 1)
 
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