bongabonga
New member
Okay.
So I didn't do so great with the journaling last time. I didn't do so great with the weight loss, period.
Sure, I peeled off about 6 lbs, but food was still the focus of my days, and I wasn't working out, and it was easier to avoid this site rather than take the motivation I get from here and translate it into work, and results.
Well, no more. I have been spiraling out of control into deeper and deeper depression over the past few months, and I know a large part of that is my unhappiness with the way I look. I never thought I would be a "fat person" - my older brother was fat, then my younger brother got fat, and now it's finally me. When I look in the mirror I am so disgusted and horrified; I don't understand how I came to look this way.
But I do understand. Food has become my companion, my hobby, by boredom-killer and my emotion-killer, too. I depend on it for everything because it's always there, in limitless delicious combinations.
Tomorrow night I'll have bongobongo take my weekly photo. I am not looking forward to it, but on the upside, I have done the 30 Day Shred 2x in the past 3 days. Okay, I still have to rest often, on level one, but still. Small, sustainable changes. I think I might go do it again, to avoid this stack of laundry that is staring at me waiting to be folded. *sigh*
So I didn't do so great with the journaling last time. I didn't do so great with the weight loss, period.
Sure, I peeled off about 6 lbs, but food was still the focus of my days, and I wasn't working out, and it was easier to avoid this site rather than take the motivation I get from here and translate it into work, and results.
Well, no more. I have been spiraling out of control into deeper and deeper depression over the past few months, and I know a large part of that is my unhappiness with the way I look. I never thought I would be a "fat person" - my older brother was fat, then my younger brother got fat, and now it's finally me. When I look in the mirror I am so disgusted and horrified; I don't understand how I came to look this way.
But I do understand. Food has become my companion, my hobby, by boredom-killer and my emotion-killer, too. I depend on it for everything because it's always there, in limitless delicious combinations.
Tomorrow night I'll have bongobongo take my weekly photo. I am not looking forward to it, but on the upside, I have done the 30 Day Shred 2x in the past 3 days. Okay, I still have to rest often, on level one, but still. Small, sustainable changes. I think I might go do it again, to avoid this stack of laundry that is staring at me waiting to be folded. *sigh*
