Rebel's Diary

LaMaria said:
:eek: Hard headed indeed! Glad no lasting harm was done but I can imagine the shock and worry.
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Yea it was a tense situation thats for sure.
 
Feeling off today. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day. Not sure if it was seeing my grandson in pain or being in the hospital surrounded by all those people.

Went to the doctor today. Nothing big just blood pressure blood sugar level and to talk in general about diet stuff.
I met a nurse today. Shes from Ireland and when she spoke to me i just melted. Something about girls with accents i suppose. We talked for awhile and i got the feeling she was being a little too nice so i told her about the bipolor and not being able to work for another 4 months or so because that usually scares people off. It didnt seem to work because my doctor just called and said she wants to know my phone number. I told her fine but im just not sure about it. Im not sure if im ready for anykind of relationship. My heart is still smoldering and cut into tiny pieces from the last relationship fiasco I was in. Aw well we'll see I suppose.
 
What a day! I'm not sure what to say, but I know how that made me feel. I feel sad that you tried scaring her off. I feel sad that you had your heart broken from your last relationship, but mostly I feel happy and hopeful for you. This woman may just be the right one. I'm glad you said-
Rebel lee said:
Aw well we'll see I suppose.
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:grouphug:
 
cate said:
What a day! I'm not sure what to say, but I know how that made me feel. I feel sad that you tried scaring her off. I feel sad that you had your heart broken from your last relationship, but mostly I feel happy and hopeful for you. This woman may just be the right one. I'm glad you said-

:grouphug:
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Yea not something most or any man would do. I guess the emotional scars run deep.
 
I think a lot of people do. Only most aren´t aware they´re doing it and then might even get mad at their unsuspecting vis-à-vis, so kudos to you for your (possibly unwanted) self-awareness. I say don´t worry too much before anything´s happening (even if that´s easier said than done). Asking for someone´s number is not a marriage proposal :) You liked her, didn´t you? Then enjoy your interactions with her and take your time :grouphug:
 
It's been a bad food day for the last 2-3 days. I keep getting the calorie app's your gonna die if you dont eat more message. I've only been eating about once a day and with the calories in my meals, it's just not many.
Im not exactly sure what's going on. Food used to be such a big part of my life. Now, it just seems like it's just something that gets in the way. I just don't get the charge or elation like i did before.
I'm sure the way I'm feeling is tied to my bipolar. I'm not sleeping much and when i do I've been having these really lucid dreams. Suicidal thoughts are creaping back in. Tactile hallucinations are just horrible. My brain seems to be stuck on fast forward. I've been on the computer watching tv and reading books all at once and keeping up with it all. All these things tend to happen just before i have a pretty intense manic episode. I feel great compared to when I'm depressed but symptoms are much harder to control.
Maybe my grandson getting hurt or meeting the new nurse at the doctors office or the combination of the two might have triggered something. I guess I'll just see how tomorrow goes. Well today for most of you...........
 
I decided to get back on medication. Im afraid ill start gaing weight again so we'll see. I'll go next week for the intake then see a shrink the next week and pick up meds a week or two later.
 
When did you go off the meds Rebel? Is weight gain almost always a side-effect? I really wish our son would try them, but if he thinks (knows) that is a common side-effect then I fear he won't. He already has body dysmorphia- is tall & slim & thinks he's fat :(
Take care & be as well as you can xoxo
 
cate said:
When did you go off the meds Rebel? Is weight gain almost always a side-effect? I really wish our son would try them, but if he thinks (knows) that is a common side-effect then I fear he won't. He already has body dysmorphia- is tall & slim & thinks he's fat :(
Take care & be as well as you can xoxo
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I came off the meds about 6-7 months ago. No the weight gain is like any med it might happen to one and not the other. They made me real hungry and back then i was eating anything i wanted and poof 100 pounds. If he doesn't want to take them he wont. All you can do is try
 
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