Really need your support

F

felicitye86

New member
Hello everybody!

First of all- what a wonderful site!- so much information and a really nice vibe!

a bit about me- im nearly 22, live in the uk and am 170 pounds and 5ft 5.

I thought i was happy being the curvy girl, but since i left university and got a job in an office a year ago ive put on a bit of weight and realise im no longer the bubbly girl that i used to be- ive got a loving and gorgeous boyfriend but keep pushing him away because im so paranoid he's going to leave me for a funner, thinner model

ive decided enough is enough, i know my friends, family and boyfriend love me very much- i just cant seem to do the same for my self when it comes to my appearance.

ive started a food diary and joined my local gym but feel like im going to need a lot of encouragement!

sorry for having a bit of a rant- its feels pretty good to get it off my chest though...without someone just saying "dont be silly" and not really understanding.

this is the first step and im glad i found this site or maybe i would have never taken it.
x
 
Glad you found your way here :) I've gotten so much encouragement and support since I joined and you will too. Sonds like you are already on the right track and this will only reinforce it. Have you seen the journal/diary section yet? I know you said you were already keeping one but I have mine here now. I love it because I'm more inclined to keep up with it now and it's a great way to get feedback and support. Welcome!
 
Go For It!

Hey Felicity 86,

You are doing great simply by starting, and asking for support.

You can do this, I expect you to go all the way and get your goal.

Feel free to ask me for support any time.

PG, Kew Gardens, NY

P.S. My town was named after Kew, across the pond. peace.
 
Good for you!

felicitye86 said:
Hello everybody!

First of all- what a wonderful site!- so much information and a really nice vibe!

a bit about me- im nearly 22, live in the uk and am 170 pounds and 5ft 5.

I thought i was happy being the curvy girl, but since i left university and got a job in an office a year ago ive put on a bit of weight and realise im no longer the bubbly girl that i used to be- ive got a loving and gorgeous boyfriend but keep pushing him away because im so paranoid he's going to leave me for a funner, thinner model

ive decided enough is enough, i know my friends, family and boyfriend love me very much- i just cant seem to do the same for my self when it comes to my appearance.

ive started a food diary and joined my local gym but feel like im going to need a lot of encouragement!

sorry for having a bit of a rant- its feels pretty good to get it off my chest though...without someone just saying "dont be silly" and not really understanding.

this is the first step and im glad i found this site or maybe i would have never taken it.
x
Click to expand...

Hey there!

Welcome! This place will be your new home...it's addicting!!! I encourage you to stick with your forward path my fellow newbie :newbie:! I've been on this forum for almost 2 weeks now and it totally drives me to get up and make a change for myself.

I was about the same weight when I started my quest for health! Now, I'm down a little more and have big plans as I see you do too! Another thing that caught my eye with you is that I fell along a similar path in college...gained weight, had relationships where I simply lost myself and lowant to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Now, I'm striving to not JUST lose weight, but to get healthy PERIOD.

You've taken a great step by having the will to lose weight! See you 22lbs lighter!
 
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Dear felicitye86 ... I feel so much for you, please, please try not to push your friend away by how you feel about your weight. Reading between the lines of what you've written, it sounds like he just loves you for who you are anyway. However, you really don't need to hear that from a complete stranger.

Besides, this isn't about him. This is about getting you to feel better about yourself. There's a generic post from me below so you can get a perspective about me. (It's way too wordy so I'd understand if you fall asleep halfway through it!).

Sending a huge hug on the start of your journey. x


I have been overweight on and off for years. Skinny kid that ate what she wanted, when she wanted ... suddenly that caught up with me. Then, 5 years ago I lost four incredibly close family and friends within 12 months.

I now realize I put myself on hold whilst I propped up my family members/friends. But I also realize that I was actually quite depressed, so food became my outlet. I truly believe that if you veer towards any extreme in your life, it's because, ultimately, there's something wrong. My 'wrong' was neglected (self)depression and ultimately a lack of self-esteem. It is so, so easy to lose sight of oneself. I'm a Brit, and we're so bad, generally, as a nation at putting ourselves first. I certainly didn't.

Then I hit 190 lbs. Still didn't care. But actually, I did. I've always loved clothes and shopping for them. Gradually I stopped loving the whole shopping experience.

I was Fat.

I was also kidding myself I was a UK size 18, but actually, even those clothes were beginning to be hard to fit into.

There are always contributory factors that make one change. It sounds so insular so I am not going to preach, you will have to work out why you want to lose weight for yourself. But what I learnt is that sometimes, it's actually ok to put yourself first.

Mindset and determination are the most important parts of my +50lb weight loss, since (yes, I can date it) October 15, 2007.

I didn't have any rules really, but thinking back I guess I just set my head to finally do this:

1. If you want to lose weight (and if you need to desperately, like I did) you are most certainly not on a 'diet'. What I did was change around the way I ate things.

2. It may be possible that there are certain food items that you love/adore above all else, and super-indulge in them. (In my case bread, bread, bread ... to a lesser extent, pasta). So. I cut both of these out completely.

What my compromise was? Kept (keep!) potatoes and rice in my diet. Yes, there are times when I crave bread. But I also know that, in my particular case, cutting it out has revolutionzed my life and I will never go back to it. My digestive system has improved 100%. I don't EVER want to get back to the weight I was, and I will prop any of you up when you feel yourself weakening.

3. Try not to tell anyone (apart from the forum people!) that you're going to try to lose weight. Also, try not to use the awful 'D' (for 'diet') word. Dieting is not the answer. Finding the right balance for your metabolism/digestive system is. (I was incredibly lucky discovering that by cutting out bread/pasta was a winning combination for me). It may well be that there is something in your diet that you eat too much of (and love) but don't acknowledge.

4. I started eating a proper breakfast. I work long hours, but I turned around the light lunch/heavy evening meal syndrome I used to fall into (snacking at late night was a regular thing, but then turned into a case of habit).

Now, I always try to eat more in the middle of the day (knowing what to eat lots of without zonking mid-afternoon has been a journey!) and just a light meal in the evening. I don't stress if I eat at 8pm (which I know is late by non-European standards) but equally, I don't make a habit of eating this late.

5. For me, I've found that grazing works (by that I mean anything I like, but in moderation!). Also, when I find myself really hungry yet there's no reason I find that I'm actually thirsty as much as hungry. If you're eating regularly and healthily and you still crave food, honestly ... try it ... a glass of juice/water sometimes just takes the complete edge off your hunger mindset.

So, I've tried not to sound like I'm preaching, then read back what I've just written and I sound exactly like I'm preaching.

All I can say is that there is not one person who I'm close to who hasn't been knocked out by how I now look. That's a lovely thing.

What really rocks though is that I'm so, so happy and it has changed my world so much for the better. I've regained belief in myself. I think I'm probably a lot nicer to be around, too.

If I could just help one person to rediscover what they are capable of doing, then it would make me extremely happy. I really would be there as a weight-loss buddy for anyone who would like me to be there for them.

Susie
 
Yaay for you welcome :) I hope being is is positive, I just started a journal and will adding pics soon, hopefully we can help each other
 
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