Rachel's Journal

California

Headed to San Diego today for a psych conference. Gonna be there until Monday, and I'm not bringing my iTouch (aka calorie counter) or my heart rate monitor. So I'm doing this all on my own, just to see what kind of a gauge I am for healthy eating. Right now, I'm at 162.8. Gotta maintain, at the very least.
 
Half Way There!

Holy hell. Exactly four months in, Exactly 25 pounds down :)

I'd be happy were in not for the excruciating pain in the entire bottom half of my body. Johanna and I ran that same 5k (actually closer to 4 miles) from last month to see how I'd improved. Cut four minutes off. Sprints were easier too. Then I got home and threw up and now I'm at work, debating going home and sleeping until Ethan gets off and comes home to give me a back rub and sympathy.

I have 12 pounds left until I have a BMI of 24.9 (normal).
 
I am finally out of the 160's, for the first time since I was about 13 years old. Yeah, I weigh less now than I did in junior high. I don't know if I should be happy (of course I'm happy) or horrified that I weighed that much at that age.

I'm so insanely stoked that I've got this far. I mean, I never thought it was gonna be this easy. It honestly is, once you completely integrate it into your life. There's just no second-guessing the gym or eating right. I don't even give laying in bed a second thought. I fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow and I'm up even before my alarm goes off. My body feels like a perfect machine.

And I'm not even finished yet! I get to keep watching that number go down! I still have about 24 pounds left and I'm excited to get out and move more. I can't stop. It's like an addiction, only one that I completely welcome. I'm so ready for the next five months. I figure I should hit my final number in the first week of February 2011. But I'll do this forever. I'm so happy I get to do this forever. It's not even a chore now; it's a hobby I wish I would have discovered years ago. Not so I could get it over with, but so I could have experience the joy of health sooner.

Look at me, waxin' all poetic and shit.
27 pounds down, 24 to go. Over half-way there!
 
Yayyy!! well done! ugh I know I haven't been below 160 since I was 12... Can't believe I never did anything about it until now. I love my new life, the gym has actually become fun and I feel so healthy and great about myself :) Keep up the good work!!
 
rachel07 said:
I am finally out of the 160's, for the first time since I was about 13 years old. Yeah, I weigh less now than I did in junior high. I don't know if I should be happy (of course I'm happy) or horrified that I weighed that much at that age.

I'm so insanely stoked that I've got this far. I mean, I never thought it was gonna be this easy. It honestly is, once you completely integrate it into your life. There's just no second-guessing the gym or eating right. I don't even give laying in bed a second thought. I fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow and I'm up even before my alarm goes off. My body feels like a perfect machine.

And I'm not even finished yet! I get to keep watching that number go down! I still have about 24 pounds left and I'm excited to get out and move more. I can't stop. It's like an addiction, only one that I completely welcome. I'm so ready for the next five months. I figure I should hit my final number in the first week of February 2011. But I'll do this forever. I'm so happy I get to do this forever. It's not even a chore now; it's a hobby I wish I would have discovered years ago. Not so I could get it over with, but so I could have experience the joy of health sooner.

Look at me, waxin' all poetic and shit.
27 pounds down, 24 to go. Over half-way there!
Click to expand...

I can so relate to everything you said there. I don't know why it was always so difficult before. I think it is a mental thing. Once you have changed the chip in your head about it being a lifestyle change it becomes easier. I think the whole word diet immediately makes you think that you are going to be deprived and therefore you crave things but now because I know I can eat whatever type of food I want within reason I rarely want them.
congrats on reaching the 150's :D
 
More TMI - sex

Okay, so when I was fat (that's just the word I'm using to describe pre-May 2010, not directly bashing myself) I enjoyed sex. I wasn't enthusiastic about it, but it was definitely a favorite hobby of mine. My sex drive has been steadily decreasing with every pound I lose. This makes no sense to me for a number of reasons:

1. Isn't being healthy supposed to make you want sex?
2. I have plenty of energy now, so why not for this?
3. I'm thinner now, and much less self-conscious
3.5. My boyfriend is also in much better shape, shouldn't I be more attracted to him?
4. I'm not stressed/fatigued/malnourished. I get plenty of sleep, I take vitamins, I do my work in a timely fashion so it's never a concern.

Honestly, if I have free time during the day/night, sex is the very last thing on my mind. I want to go to the gym. That's all. Johanna, the girl I've been working out with for a few months now, said the exact same thing happened to her. She was about 30 pounds heavier when she and her boyfriend started seeing each other and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Now that she's happy with her weight, sex is the very last thing she wants.

Is this common? Does anybody have a good explanation for it? Is it hormonal? I've read a few studies published in 2006 that found that women have a decreased sex drive when in a stable relationship, but I really think it has more to do with my exercise/eating habits than my relationship status.
 
I wonder if it's because when you are fatter the sex reassurres you that you are sexy and desirable but when you slim down and feel more sexier and desirable you don't then need the reassurance. Just a theory as I don't know why else it would be as I would expect it to be the other way round.
 
So I miraculously managed to pull my abs. Or strain them. Something. That's what my nurse said anyway. I'm not really sure how I managed this, but I was on the elliptical when I finally felt the full effects, and I was pretty sure I was going into labor. I had never felt such an intense pain in my abdomen.
Anyway, took a few days off of working out, gained three pounds back. Very depressing. Lost two of them. Working on the third, and then more.
 
I've been stuck at 156 for about two weeks and it's driving me crazy. Almost as crazy as the upcoming GRE. And my experimental-social IRB proposal (there are no prior studies on which I can write a "purpose" section). Feeling dead. My hair is pretty though. Boyfriend just got his wisdom teeth out. He's laying in bed with my penguins, watching football on TV, rugby on my laptop, eating ice cream straight out of the bucket. He's very pleased with himself.
I need a break.
 
I've been stuck at about 151lbs for 2 months now but it's my fault as I have had so many visitors this summer that my total calories are only ever enough for maintanence. I plan on changing that this winter by eating well more consistently and exercising as much as I can. :)
 
Alright, made it to 155. I'm considering myself to be officially out of the plateau. Not that there isn't another one right around the corner waiting to attack me and make me feel worthless. I've been doing almost solely cardio lately, just to confuse the hell out of my metabolism and because I love doing it.
Yeah, seriously. I like running. I like it a lot. I would like to be doing it right now, but instead I am at work.
I've been more stressed than normal lately. I take the GRE one week from today. My boyfriend had to have emergency surgery last week because of an infection he got after having his wisdom teeth removed. He was in the hospital for four days. I'm not at all excited to see the bill from all that. I'm barely staying on top of finances. Which means I am on top of finances, but barely. Eating healthy is really easy when a bag of frozen chicken breasts and stir-fry veggies is a helluva lot cheaper than fast food.
31 pounds down, 20 to go. I like that.
 
I am now hovering around 153-154. I slacked off bad for the last three days, but today I went for an amazing run in the freezing-cold morning. Today, I work the full shift by myself but that's okay cause I have lots of papers to write.
 
I'm to the point where I can run hills outside in the freezing morning for an hour without thinking about stopping. So yeah, it's very nice that I'm comfortable with cardio. But I've still got it in my head that it's not functional muscle. I'm gonna start running sprints instead.
I need to get more focused on my diet. I mean, yeah, I'm more focused than anybody else I know, but it still doesn't feel like I'm dedicated enough. Cheating once in a while is fine, but I feel like I'm cheating all the time. Like, eating feels like cheating, but I feel guilty when I don't eat too, or when I eat too late, or when I don't eat first thing in the morning. It's complicated.
I know that when I'm not at the gym I wish I were at the gym and I hate leaving because it feels like quitting.
Everything else is going great. My grades are better than ever, I'm working more hours than any semester before this one. I already have all my classes for next semester worked out (It'll be my 8th and last semester of undergrad).
I think I wake up every three hours at night; it's been like that for a few weeks, maybe a month. I'm not sure what's causing it.
In addition to sprints, I'm gonna focus more on weight training. Cardio is just frustrating me. I'm faster than I thought I was ever going to be, but I don't look like it. So, if weights = sculpting, that's what I want. Nutrition, weights, and cardio, in that order.
 
Eating is not cheating!!! Unless it's pizza ;) Keep up the good work with the exercise and good luck with your 8th semester!
 
Pics

Okay, it might not be super obvious to you, but my face has changed so much in the last four months. I just look like I've lost so much fat from my cheeks and neck and everything.
 
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