Put DOWN the Nutella!

L

luzdafuzz

New member
... Yes, unfortunately that is my current food fixation. Why don't I get obsessed with broccoli?? Life would be easier!!


So I've been away from here for about a month, and an UNBELIEVABLE amount of stuff has happened since then. Firstly, I've put on like 4kgs. Ouchies. My hours at work are changing, they are kind of trialing it at the moment so instead of starting at 5am every day, I've been starting at 7am (but some days it's impossible so I need to start at 5... it's in progress but I can get through my day so much easier when I'm not tired!) We have a new store manager, and he's making life a bit difficult for my husband... He's really keen to be friends with him though and wanted me to meet his wife as she doesn't know anyone up here, so we had dinner there the other night and she's REALLY lovely (which will make life really complicated if our husbands start to hate each other!) But hey, I kind of have a friend here now. My knees are pretty bad again right now since I've stopped exercising and my hours are pretty long again as the company is going through a relaunch which is happening on Wed (and my days off are Tue/Wed so I only get one this week... boo!) Also my dear friend Wade is still living with us. He's just found out his cancer has progressed more and is now officially stage 2, so it means stronger chemo and longer recovery time. I think he's getting ready to leave as he almost hates it up here as much as we do.


Anyhoo, a lot of other stuff happened and I'm currently in a pretty dark place. I have been considering just upping and leaving for probably the whole month- I am trying really hard to remember when I was this unhappy last. I just feel like my husbands job is his absolute priority, and he expects me to keep the house in order because I'm only working 50 hours a week and not the 80+ that he is. I just feel angry and frustrated ALL the time. And lonely. I just wonder what I'm doing up here when he goes to work with me or before I wake up, and then he's still there when I go to sleep. Had a big conversation with him last night and told him if things don't change when the boss gets back from his holidays then I can't do it anymore... that thought scares me too, living with my parents. Eek! Have to see what happens. Because I'm in this state of mind too I just really can't find the energy to care about how much weight I've put on... I think having something else to focus on besides work is probably a good idea though. And we are going home in 5 weeks for a week to visit everyone. I really don't want to be this size after being WAY smaller last time I was down!!


Ok... So me right now? As of today...


71.3kg/ 157lbs, 32.3%BF...

Bust- 103cms/ 40.5inches

Waist- 82cms/ 32.2inches

Hips- 99cms/ 39inches


My goals are:


58kg/ 128lbs, 20% BF

Bust- 90cms/ 35.4inches

Waist- 70cms/ 27.5inches

Hips- 90cms/ 35.4inches



I go home in 5 weeks on the 23rd of July, would really like to be 69kgs (or less!) by then...


Main goal is for mid Nov, I am going to NZ to visit my grandparents (who haven't seen me since my wedding in '09) and to travel around the north island and show my husband around a bit (he's never been!) Would LOVE to be 60kgs by then, and my main goal is to be 58kg (but not necessarily by then!)


And here's are current photos (excuse the mess, the house just got painted and there is crap EVERYWHERE!):





So despite the gain I actually don't hate myself, it's actually a pretty weird experience seeing the weight go on again like that... My body stayed pretty much the same shape, just my curves got bigger. Actually I have a pretty defined waist still which I wasn't expecting, I don't remember that being this size last time. I'm wearing an Aus 12 in clothes that don't stretch or have small bust areas, or size 10 in clothes with give or bust room.
 
Didn't have the greatest of days today, but I kinda expected that with today being my only day off for the week. Not worried though, only aiming for 500g a week so will still be pretty easy to get there! Guess that's what happens when I don't plan my food for the day though... oops!! Working at 8am tomorrow so get a bit of a sleep in, thinking of getting up to do a workout though rather than doing it after work. Will write again tomorrow!
 
Morning all!! Drinking my coffee and psyching up for work...


Todays plan


B: 4 mini slices of garlic sourdough with nuttelex (like a vegan butter thing-not cuz I'm vegan but I've been eating it for years)

S: Raw coconut mylk chocolate- ACTUAL: Large flat white coffee

L: Homemade chicken and feta meatballs

S: Peanut butter cookie Larabar

D: Roast beef with veg ACTUAL: 3 Large cookies, small handful of spearmint lollies (arrgh, oops!)


Exercise: 30min strength training ACTUAL: None, got home from work with an enormous headache


Total Cals: 2109 Total Deficit for day: 626

Total deficit since Monday: -8
 
Welcome back Lucy! Sorry to hear of your difficulties. I hope things start to turn around for you. Hopefully getting re focused on your weight will help to take your mind of all the other stuff going on, though I know it will be tough.


Absolutely love that dress by the way! :)


You can do it!


:grouphug:
 
Just got home from work, didn't eat as planned today. Ended up undoing yesterdays damage and just breaking even pretty much for the last 2 days, which I'm ok with seeing as I could have been SO much worse!!! Have a pretty monstrous headache, so no exercise...Also, my knee is really swollen! Today is one of my usual days off so less rest than usual I guess.


Came home and cooked lunch for the week, I made Mediterranean-type chicken breast meatballs. Kinda threw whatever into them, it's chicken breast mince, semi dried tomatoes, black olives, crumbled feta, salt n pepper, chives, and egg, some wholemeal bread crumbs... Baking them in the oven so I don't have to watch them. Worked them out to be 80 cals each.


Think I'm going away with Wade in either Aug or Sep, he really wants to get away for a bit so thinking of going to Surfers Paradise or something (QLD). We shall see!!
 
Hello lucy. I was attracted to your diary by your wonderful heading.


I don't know how tall you are but we've got similar weight issues. I mean i'm just a bit more than your height and i've put on a lot of weight recently where as last year i got down to 55kg. Now i'm 75ish. I am 165cm. AND i live near Cairns in queensland.


So you've explained all your stressful circumstances really well and i wanted to say something about that. I mean I want to offer some advice about which you are free to completely ignore.


Its about how much your husband is working and how you are stressed about not seeing him much.


I don't want to write a long lecture about the angle i'm coming from but i'd like you to know that there is another perspective that can take with this. It comes from buddhist teachings.


1. Everything is impermanent. ie everything in life changes, nothing as it is now will stay the same. When you accept this you can you can live more comfortably with the way things are right now. That's because you know its not going to be this way forever. I mean its my understanding that it would be terrible for a couple to break up when everything else is good between them except that they don't get to see each other much each day. If its a choice between a partner who you live and get on well with but don't see very much and when you life is generally pretty good together and a life without him, looking for a better situation, it seems to me that it would be crazy to leave him and even to start fights about the current issue.


2. In buddhism there's an understanding of a thing we do which is largely at the root of most of suffering. Its called clinging. What a lot of couples do is cling to each other. its actually more healthy to be together, love each a heaps but not cling. Not clinging involves letting each pursue their own direction and enjoying the times when you are meet, enjoying what you do do together. Clinging is something that people do not just with partners but with jobs, with their good health, their material possessions, their views and opinions and frankly just everything. When you can start to hold everything gently, loosely then you can stop being so upset when things don't go the way you want them. this involves acceptance of things you don't have control over. But with you hubby, if you start putting lots of pressure on him to not work so much when for whatever its something he feels he needs to do, then you are going have some fights. Of course if he was willing to change his working hours out of consideration for you that's good but putting him under lots of pressure won't help your marriage. He might end up resenting you because you've made him stop working so much. For his part, he might not realise that he doesn't need to work as much as he is. But if he's working so hard because he is driven by the work itself, then i think you will have trouble.


With regard to keeping the house clean, can you afford to have a cleaner come in. If i made a lot of money in my job, i would love to have a cleaner. I would especially love to employ a cook. On the other hand you could suggest to him if he worked fewer hours he could help you keep the place clean to his standards. Certainly his expectations of the cleanliness of your house is something that he's clinging to. Normally as far as i'm concerned taking responsibility means doing it yourself, not demanding other people do it. As you say, you are already working hard and its natural to be exhausted. That's why i think the best solution would be hiring a cleaner.
 
AHey there crazy cat lady :)

Found you!!!!!! Only you could come up with that title lol.

So sorry that lifew has been proper shite for you sweetie. Sending you lots of great big squishy hugs. :grouphug: I have really really missed you hun.

How are those little bundles of fur? I bet they are big now.
 
Originally Posted by katehunibun

Hey there crazy cat lady
Found you!!!!!! Only you could come up with that title lol.
So sorry that lifew has been proper shite for you sweetie. Sending you lots of great big squishy hugs. :grouphug: I have really really missed you hun.
How are those little bundles of fur? I bet they are big now.
Click to expand...

Hey Kate!! Haha actually Xena is pretty big, but Luna is a lot smaller than her still! Here's a pic I took yesterday!





Originally Posted by fortyfour


Hello lucy. I was attracted to your diary by your wonderful heading.



I don't know how tall you are but we've got similar weight issues. I mean i'm just a bit more than your height and i've put on a lot of weight recently where as last year i got down to 55kg. Now i'm 75ish. I am 165cm. AND i live near Cairns in queensland.



So you've explained all your stressful circumstances really well and i wanted to say something about that. I mean I want to offer some advice about which you are free to completely ignore.



Its about how much your husband is working and how you are stressed about not seeing him much.



I don't want to write a long lecture about the angle i'm coming from but i'd like you to know that there is another perspective that can take with this. It comes from buddhist teachings.



1. Everything is impermanent. ie everything in life changes, nothing as it is now will stay the same. When you accept this you can you can live more comfortably with the way things are right now. That's because you know its not going to be this way forever. I mean its my understanding that it would be terrible for a couple to break up when everything else is good between them except that they don't get to see each other much each day. If its a choice between a partner who you live and get on well with but don't see very much and when you life is generally pretty good together and a life without him, looking for a better situation, it seems to me that it would be crazy to leave him and even to start fights about the current issue.



2. In buddhism there's an understanding of a thing we do which is largely at the root of most of suffering. Its called clinging. What a lot of couples do is cling to each other. its actually more healthy to be together, love each a heaps but not cling. Not clinging involves letting each pursue their own direction and enjoying the times when you are meet, enjoying what you do do together. Clinging is something that people do not just with partners but with jobs, with their good health, their material possessions, their views and opinions and frankly just everything. When you can start to hold everything gently, loosely then you can stop being so upset when things don't go the way you want them. this involves acceptance of things you don't have control over. But with you hubby, if you start putting lots of pressure on him to not work so much when for whatever its something he feels he needs to do, then you are going have some fights. Of course if he was willing to change his working hours out of consideration for you that's good but putting him under lots of pressure won't help your marriage. He might end up resenting you because you've made him stop working so much. For his part, he might not realise that he doesn't need to work as much as he is. But if he's working so hard because he is driven by the work itself, then i think you will have trouble.



With regard to keeping the house clean, can you afford to have a cleaner come in. If i made a lot of money in my job, i would love to have a cleaner. I would especially love to employ a cook. On the other hand you could suggest to him if he worked fewer hours he could help you keep the place clean to his standards. Certainly his expectations of the cleanliness of your house is something that he's clinging to. Normally as far as i'm concerned taking responsibility means doing it yourself, not demanding other people do it. As you say, you are already working hard and its natural to be exhausted. That's why i think the best solution would be hiring a cleaner.
Click to expand...

Hey fourtyfour- thanks for the really detailed answer!!


I'm 169cms/5"7, and currently I'm living in the far northwest of WA (the Pilbara)


I guess really the issue isn't that he is working so often- he's always worked a lot (never this much though). His job moved us to a remote community almost a year ago now (after living in Perth for 2 years and growing up in a city), and I'm really struggling out here to hold it together. I have no friends or family around, nothing to do, no car. I'm pretty much trapped in the house on my days off and every afternoon and am lucky just to see my husband to say goodnight. It's really awful out here being so far away from everything and everyone! I'm used to being able to just head out with friends on any day and not worry about when he's getting home but out here it's a completely different story. I have trouble finding a good enough reason to get out of bed some days! I really like the teachings you posted, nothing IS permanent, however we are stuck up here for just over another year and I really don't want to spend a whole year wishing it away. Ahhhh.


Really wish we COULD afford a cleaner, but they charge ridiculous rates up here along with every other service (it's a mining town... our power bills which used to be $150-200 are now suddenly $1500 since we moved here!) Really just need to find time in the day to do it, just feels impossible right now. Maybe when this week is over...


Again, thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it!



Todays plan



B:[/b] 60g porridge with 30g chocolate coconut butter and a tsp of coconut sugar

S:[/b] Raw coconut mylk chocolate Actual: Portugese tart

L:[/b] 5 Homemade Mediterranean chicken and meatballs

S:[/b] Peanut butter cookie Larabar

D:[/b] 100g leftover roast beef and Greek salad Actual: Cherry mudslide muffin (oops)



Exercise: 30mins swimming Actual: 45mins swimming, heaps of cooking and cleaning



Total Cals: 2045 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 980

Total deficit since Monday: [/b]972
 
I was a busy girl today!! Finished work at 2pm then jumped in the pool straight away... swam longer then planned as I had been pretty bad with the junk food at work today! Then did a heap of cooking- I cooked a huge vegetarian pasta-free lasagne to freeze into meals and I made some spinach and feta filo parcels... did a fair few dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Was pretty much on my feet up until just after 6pm. Exhausted now!! Also cooked tomorrows breakfast.


Tomorrows plan


B: 50g oats, cooked in water with 30g choc coconut butter, unsweetened cocoa powder and a banana

S: Choc chip cookie Larabar

L: 5 homemade Mediterranean meatballs

S: Coconut mylk raw chocolate

D: Homemade vegetarian lasagne


Exercise: 30mins strength training


Total Cals: 1710 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 1004

Total deficit since Monday:[/b] 1976
 
I sooooo wish I had to a pool to go swimming in! Such a great exercise!


You're doing well, keep up the good work.
 
Yesterday didn't go as planned, haven't got enough time to write at the moment but I went over 1000cals- so just undid what I did the day before. Planning on a 1000 cal deficit today and tomorrow so at least I'll get a 2000cal deficit this week!!!
 
Hey Lucy, welcome back!

Sorry to hear that things are tough at the moment. I have been in work situations over the last couple of years where I have been working crazy hours and as much as you know family etc... are missing you and you are letting them down, the pressure you are under to get stuff done and put the hours in at work is immense - I'm sure he's feeling as crappy about the situation as you are :( Hang on in there!


Whats with the "I'm going to plan a proper dinner....oops I fell into a pile of cake and ate that instead" heheheheh! Sounds far too much like somethign I'd do!
 
So it's been a really rough week at work... husband got MAJORYLY blindsided by the new manager. Actually totally effed-in-the-a... stabbed in the back... And because I only had the one day off this week and my legs were starting to play up, it's now fully bad again as of today. Full on limp again. Arrrgh. Can't even swim as winter decided to hit us this week (mind you, it's supposed to be back up to 30 degrees celcius by the end of next week). Anyhoo, my week has been poos. Can't really be bothered writing everything I ate, so here are the calorie totals and a running deficit... Oh and I didn't even realise, I actually weighed in on Tue, not Mon... so will weigh in again on Tuesday instead of tomorrow!


Tue: Total cals: 3035 Running deficit: -634

Wed: Total cals: 2109 Running deficit: -8
Thu: Total cals: 2045 Running deficit: 972

Fri: Total cals: 3748 Running deficit: -109

Sat: Total cals: 4174 Running deficit: -1547

Sun: Total cals: 1325 Running deficit: -273


So will likely end the week with a tiny deficit, I really need around 3500 each week to keep on track though. Will just have to try harder next week I guess!! That's the plan, keep trying till I get it right...
 
Stepped on the scales anyway today as I had originally planned to- 70.8kg. So I still lost 500g- must've been retaining a bit of water the first weigh in! Not complaining though, means I can keep weighing in Mondays and I'm still on track! YAY!


Not going to work today because of my bung knees, instead I am chilling out at home doing NOTHING. So a super light food day today:


B- Chocolate covered Katie 1 minute choc cake

S- Choc chip cherry Larabar
L- Homemade vegetarian lasagna
D- 2 homemade feta and spinach filo triangles


Total Cals:[/b] 1139 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 977

Total deficit since Monday:[/b] 977


Exercise: None, unless it's randomly warmer. It's sitting around 25 degrees c until Thu when it's going to heat up again. Can't really do much else at the moment!
 
Yesterday ended up being a pretty bad food day, so today I was EXTRA careful. Was around 1700 cals over maintenance yesterday and had a 1250 deficit today, so I'll be at a deficit again as of tomorrow. Arrgh seem to not be able to stop buying clothes at the moment, been really bad over the past few weeks. Decided I'm absolutely NOT buying anymore until I reach my goal weight! I already have a heap of clothes ranging from aus 8-12 so I have clothes to wear the full journey lol. Doing a bulk hair and skincare order this pay which will wipe me out for the week, then I'm just saving bulk for when I go home in a month!


Tomorrows plan


B- CCK choc cake with gluten free flour, coconut sugar and coconut oil
S- Peanut butter cookie Larabar Actual: Medium skim flat white coffee and an apple

L- Homemade vegetarian lasagne Actual: 4 homemade chicken veg meatballs
D- 4 homemade spinach and feta triangles


Exercise- Haven't factored in any, but it MIGHT be warm enough to swim tomorrow. We shall see! Update- sucked it up and did a workout! 30mins strength training


Total Cals:[/b] 1353 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 1019

Total deficit since Monday:[/b] 192
 
Hello all!! Yesterday wasn't a bad day, ended with 869cal deficit. Ate a few spinach and feta triangles after they came out the oven (OMG soooooooooo good) so less of a deficit than planned... but not bad at all! Hubby decided a few days ago he wanted to eat healthy and I didn't really take him that seriously... but I woke up after him today and he said he'd been up and done a workout, and he wants something to focus on other than work for the next year. Asked me to write him a program and everything! I got so excited, lol. He actually doesn't really need (or want) to lose weight, but he really wants to build up some muscle and improve his strength and cardio fitness. It's going to be SO much easier with him on board doing everything with me!


Tomorrows plan


B:[/b] Breakfast pudding with banana, oats, unsweetened cocoa powder and raw choc coconut butter

S: Apple

L: Homemade chicken and veg meatballs

S: Peanut butter cookie Larabar

S: Macqui and acai bar

D: Vegetarian lasagne (homemade) Actual- Half portion homemade Greek penne salad



Exercise: 30mins swimming Actual- none, it was a bit too cold. Also my knee has been playing up really bad today so I think it made me a bigger sook than usual!



Total Cals: 1720 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 1006

Total deficit since Monday: 1198
 
Today was really good calorie-wise, I couldn't exercise though as my knees are really bad. I think it might be from my work shoes so about to head out and get some more now. Have an appt with the physio tomorrow (big groan) and as of now I am still going to work, but we shall see! I thought being out of my shoes would make a difference but I think I was wearing them too long... Was pretty much standing up the few hours after work too but with bare feet and they still aren't co-operating. Made a giant Greek pasta salad as my dear hubby wanted me to make him something healthy for dinner, and that's what he picked! Having leftovers for lunch tomorrow at work. Was pretty much a standard Greek salad- cucumber, tomatoes, red onion, feta, black sliced olives, with pasta thrown in... I made a vinegarette and chopped up fresh parsley to toss through it too. Was yum!


Tomorrows plan [/b](if I'm working!) I'm not...



B:[/b] Breakfast pudding with banana, oats, unsweetened cocoa powder and raw choc coconut butter

L: Homemade leftover Greek penne salad

D: Homemade tuna and pasta salad



Exercise: 30mins strength training (should be able to do this even if I am at home and disabled, part of the physical therapy includes doing squats and hamstring exercises every day)



Total Cals: 1459 Total Deficit for day:[/b] 914

Total deficit since Monday:[/b] 2112
 
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