Pumpkin's Journal

Status
Not open for further replies.
Pumpkin1

Pumpkin1

New member
October 17, 2016​
Beginning weight: 510 lbs
Current weight: 461 lbs (-49 lbs)
Goal weight: 150 lbs

I'm slipping back into old habits after 2 months of healthy eating, and it's not for any reason other than I'm feeling another depression coming. I'm an emotional eater at heart and yesterday I noticed the grazing was in full affect. I mowed through the house munching on anything in my way.

I'm just tired, so tired of trying. It's hard, its meticulous, it's time consuming. It's not easy trying to rewrite your entire history, one day or decision at a time.

It's not like I haven't made progress, because I have. I graduated from home health care to outpatient services. I lost 49 lbs. I'm spending more time with my family and exercising *almost* daily. I joined an aquatic fitness center so I can work out and not hurt my joints. So why am I depressed and heading back into the bleak, dark underbelly of my addiction?

That's why I reached out and found this forum. I'm very hopeful that with everyone's support and encouragement, I can carry on and beat this demon, once and for all.
 
You will find that there are many of us here that find comfort in food. For me, personally, I eat when I'm anxious, happy, mad, or bored. I struggle with it daily, so know that you are not alone here in that battle.

Great job starting a diary! Feel free to jump in on other diaries as well. We're all a friendly bunch. :)
 
Hi, pumpkin & welcome to our little part of the world. Most of us are emotional eaters & getting it under control can be a battle. Congratulations on losing 49lbs. Keep on going hon. Don't sabotage yourself. Enough of the constant grazing. You can do this. We'll be here to help support you & encourage you along the way. I, too suffer from depression, but I know how much better I will feel if I eat well & exercise even when it's the last thing I feel like. You're in good company here & most of us have more in common than we think. Welcome!
 
Hi Pumpkin,

Welcome. What you are doing is hard but we are here to help you get through it. You have come a long way already. I know it feels like you have a long way to go but you CAN do this. One day at a time. Before you know it you will be at goal. We are or have all been there and understand what it takes. Like Cate says ' You are in good company here'.
 
October 20,2016​
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time to work out with Jeremy, my personal trainer. He had me killing the weight room.

I can't stand for too long and do cardio yet so right now we're focusing on weights. Once my bathing suit comes in the mail, I'll be doing water aerobics and I'm so excited.

Here's our what my workouts are going to look like:

Monday - Group weights
Tuesday - water aerobics
Wednesday - Jeremy and water aerobics
Thursday - water aerobics
Friday - Group weights and water aerobics
Saturday - water aerobics
Sunday - Rest
 
Hi Pumpkin, neighbor from the south - You're off to a good start with the exercise. Re: giving up, remember that it took a long time to get there, so it's going to take a long time to get back, so aim for the small victories and enjoy the big ones when you get there! And 50 lbs lost is fantastic!
 
Welcome pumpkin! I also have depression and am an emotional eater. A 50 lb loss really is fantastic, great job. I think you should try to make a plan and a new goal. Maybe you want to record your food and/or exercise here in your diary? We're here to help.
 
Welcome welcome, Pumpkin. Great job on the loss so far.

You really make my walks seem like nothing compared to your workout chart.

My only advice is to make sure you don't work so hard you burn yourself out. The only thing that's ever worked for me personally is small, sustainable changes. What that means for you, only you can decide.

I'll be cheering you on and following your progress. :D
 
Hi there pumpkin! That's a great exercise schedule. You'll be tired, but you can be proud of your efforts! Congratulations on getting off to a great start. Stick around through the ups and especially the downs. This place and these people have helped me change my life and still are today.

Im glad you found us and I look forward to seeing you succeed!
 
Water aerobics! Excellent. I wish we had water aerobics in our local town. I used to love it! We are going to see you going from strength to strength pumpkin :D
 
Thank you everyone!! I'm looking forward to working out. I go tomorrow for another 30 minutes with Jeremy my trainer. Tomorrow is also my official weighin so I'll be updating that first thing in the morning.

I'm hoping to break into the 450's. That's just 2 lbs away so anything more than that I'll flip over, especially since I had a bad weekend and overindulged due to depression. After my first workout with Jeremy, I was rejuvenated and did 110% better.

My husband and I just went shopping and stocked our fridge with fruits and veggies. I'll start documenting my meals as well. I'm supposed to anyway.
 
I'd be curious to hear how your old vs new meals contrast (if you felt comfortable sharing)

Looking forward to hearing how the weigh in goes!
 
October 21, 2016​
Today I had my weigh-in and I lost 5 lbs. I'm now 456 lbs, a total of 54 lbs lost and only 6 lbs from my first holiday goal.

My eating has changed drastically over the last 2 months. Before I went into the hospital, my husband and I ate a lot of take out. I hardly cooked because I couldn't stand for long periods of time, so we ate pizza at least 2 times a week. And between the two of us, we would eat almost 3/4 of the party sized the first night.

If we weren't eating pizza, it was enough Chinese food to feed 10 people. Grinders, hibachi, and local chain restaurants became our go-to's after our daughter went to bed. Then I would drink a 6 or 12-pack to myself almost nightly.

I would snack all day long with my daughter. Granola bars, rice crispy treats, peanut butter cups. It was non stop.

Then when I was in the hospital, my portions were insanely, drastically different. And normal sized.

No more seconds or thirds. No more heaping piles of mashed potatoes, flavored rices, or pasta. No more snacking between meals.

I went from 510 to 491 in the hospital from diet alone. In 11 days.

Now I eat 3 portion controlled meals/meal replacement shakes and a snack after dinner. Such a difference and I'm rarely hungry.
 
Great job on the 5 lbs! Sounds like you are on the right path. It is always hard to break old habits but they can be broken. Documenting what you eat can be a real eye opener( especially at the beginning) and it can be a great tool for hitting your weight loss goals.
 
That has really been my strategy thus far. I too used to eat anything I wanted in any quantity before, so most of the changes I've made have just been to eat less of what I was already eating and the pounds have just fallen off at first. Particularly in your position with additional weight you want to lose, any small adjustment is going to reap big rewards.

Congrats on the additional 5lbs. You've already surpassed what I've accomplished in 4 months time, so keep your chin up and realize what you're doing will take time, but will be SO worth it in the end for your husband and your children.
 
Now that I know I can't go back and edit a post, I'll wait until the end of the night to post my meals. Today I had a treat and had a couple slices of pizza and some calamari. Back at it
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top