Project Confidence: Losing the weight, getting healthy and rebuilding my confidence..

I have had a string of bad relationships that didn't last, I don't know why I didn't nip this one in the bud like I did the others....I have never had a really long term relationship and I think I just really wanted to be in one and a good one, and my ex was a nice guy, but there was not a lot of give and take...I always ended up going to his place, hanging out with his friends while it was a big deal if we hung out with mine. Now I am not the type of person who needs a guy to pay for me all the time....if I have the money I will pay for myself but there were times when I was a student where I had very little money...like literally 20 dollars in my pocket and he would ask me why I'm not getting anything when we were out with his friends, and to get something so that he doesn't look like a jerk eating in front of me when I wasn't eating...and just a lot of things that didn't sit well, but I tried to look past it because generaly he was a nice guy.

I don't know...I don't know what to do about men, but I've taken myself off dating sites for now...I just don't have the patience for it right and now and really do feel that I need to put myself on my own priority list.....losing the weight and exercising and getting healthy are my main concerns right now..that and work...and I am definitely working a bit too much right now but I'm hoping that soon now that I'm back in school it will die down a little bit. Hopefully I will save some of the money I've made from working a lot these last few weeks. Anyhow, again, I'm blabbering lol
 
I don't know what to do about women so we are kind of in the same boat lol. I never even get a phone number, nevermind an actual date. I wish I could experience a bad relationship once in a while, instead of nothing at all forever. A person gets lonely after a while.

But yeah, focus on your own thing for now. Reach your goals, I'm sure a good guy will come along. Do your own thing and your life will be much richer.
 
It's better to wait longer for the right person than have to stumble through a few...believe me....I would rather have the one great experience than all the crap I have had to deal with. Even with all my experience in the dating realm...I still feel lonely sometimes myself....I constantly see my friends with significant others and I miss that closeness and intimacy...probably because I haven't really had a lot of it...I still have so much to learn about relationships myself...and right now in particular, I have been feeling very lonely...I am working two jobs and starting back to school...life is taking over, and maybe that's a good thing.
 
Its when I stopped looking that I found what I was looking for... practically under my nose the whole time.

Sounds uber sappy, but true. :biggrinjester:
 
I'm hoping to one day find it. But I'm not rushing it either. I have had quite the last few days with the overnight shifts completely screwing up my schedule and have not been eating the best....
 
I've been doing a lot of thinking recently....about my confidence, my appearance, and why I've been doing certain things. For example....my facebook profile picure...I have a picture of Ingrid Bergman and Cary Grant during their onscreen kiss during Notorious. Before that I have had the famous picture of a sailor kissing a nurse passionately, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall...I've been putting up pictures of movie scenes rather than posting a current photo of myself. I got my hair cut recently, but I had gained weight back, and am just really not happy with the way that I look right now. I also think I've been putting up the photo's that I have because I'm craving that sort of touch and physical intimacy and its lacking in my life right in now in a big way....by the same token though I don't want to date right now because I always get the wrong type of person talking to me...the one with the foot fetish who tries to maul me in an atm after only 1 time of meeting with me...or I get the guys who are the chubby chasers, or 'feeders'. I don't want to date as a plus size anymore. I'm also not that confident in how I look and I don't want to be constantly insecure. I need to figure things out for myself and I'm having a really hard time lately trying to get my exercise in...and eating properly has just been a joke...I'm feeling really insecure and really shitty about myself and I need support, definitely.
 
if that's you in your avatar -you're very pretty..

As for the other stuff - take it one step at a time one change at a time... and you'll get to where you want to be...

Why is healthy eating a joke> what steps can you take to improve it? maybe by doing some menu planning each week - shopping based onthose menus - having good stuff available to you?

Start nailing down some good habits and you will startto feel better about yourself
 
maleficent said:
if that's you in your avatar -you're very pretty..

As for the other stuff - take it one step at a time one change at a time... and you'll get to where you want to be...

Why is healthy eating a joke> what steps can you take to improve it? maybe by doing some menu planning each week - shopping based onthose menus - having good stuff available to you?

Start nailing down some good habits and you will startto feel better about yourself
Click to expand...

:iagree:

The girl in your avatar pic is very pretty, and if that's you, you should not feel insecure about your looks. But from personal experience I know you do, because having the extra weight on makes you feel unattractive. Boy do I know that one. Meanwhile you are searching for the weirdo magnet that somebody seems to have attached to you while you slept as some kind of sick joke. Don't worry, once you start regaining your confidence, the weirdo magnet will go away.

Meanwhile, start carrying around the extra large spray can of 'Weirdo Be Gone' just for safe measure. :willy_nilly:

Meal planning has really helped me with figuring out what I'm going to eat, and how I'm going to cook for my husband and I. We plan out our meals for the week and go shopping. I also take in to consideration what I'm going to do for food throughout the day while I'm at work. A lot of the time I'll cook enough for dinner that I'll have leftovers for lunch the next day, plus things for breakfast and snacks. This has been very instrumental in helping me stay true to the campaign to shed the excess poundage.

But you have to find what works for you. You can do it!
 
That is me in my avatar...that was taken a while ago before I got my hair done...now my hair is cut in a bob style and I like it sometimes and then other times, I just hate it...and that's one reason why I haven't really put a lot of pictures up recently...at least before I could have pulled it back but now I can't...and that and I just feel like my weight is going up and don't feel confident.
 
Ok, so today I am making a concerted effort to eat healthier....for breakfast I ended up just having hummus and wholewheat pita and going back and forth between my coffee and water and for lunch I am having whole wheat pasta with a tomato sauce and in between meals will be snacking on fresh strawberries I got from the store next to my work. I have also been looking up dance classes in Toronto and found a hip hop class and a lindy hop class that I am very interested in taking. I also need to get back in to the gym...am going to try and buy myself some new runners as the ones I have are so ratty looking, they are hardly wearable.
 
Hi ya. I'm Stacy :)

~*Best Wishes for your new Journey.*~

I'm a HUGE Goof-Ball/Ding Dong.. :sifone: Proud of it.

lol

You should be proud to. ;) It's a great quality.

Have A Great & Goal Reachin' Labor Day!
 
Ya know since my boyfriend is an ocean away, I know exactly how you feel about being touched. When I get to that point I cheat and go get a massage. If you think that it would make you feel uncomfortable, then you can always get a manicure, pedicure, or facial. You get to sit back and relax and that person caters to you. When you are done you feel like a million bucks. You can also buy a super sexy bra and panty set.... noone has to know you are wearing it, it just makes you feel confident because you know something noone else does.
 
Sara Darlin' for what it is worth, I've seen the pics you posted on the before and after as well as your avatar.

If I were a bit younger (and single of course)... You look good to me...:D

And by the way, normal is boring, sanity is in the eye of the beholder. If there weren't foolish, goofy, fun people in the world, how much would that suck??

Do something for yourself, treat youself like the special person that you are. Don't settle for less. I agree with other posters. Once you start feeling a little better and more confident, it is funny how it shows to other people, even if you don't realize it.

Take care of yourself.
 
Hey there Sara. Sorry it's taken me a little while to check back in with your progress. I'll be another one to say, "I completely know where you're coming from". I have dated my share of weirdos, cheaters, abusers (verbal/emotional), and over-all "bad" guys. I think this pattern started when I was younger and thought that I would be lucky if anyone was ever interested in me. After years of horrible relationships and crazy situations (don't even get me started), I wised up and learned that I deserve better.

It was when I started dating my current bf, who is a COMPLETE nerd, 110% nice guy, soft spoken, educated, and responsible (heck, he's never had a traffic ticket in his life) that I started to get over the weirdness of dating someone who wouldn't hurt me. It was strange to finally know that I didn't need a guard up and that he was someone who was safe. I think the most ironic part about meeting Ryan is that I met him when I wasn't looking for someone. Here I was, on dating sites, going out with friends, constantly looking for someone who could give me affection and perhaps care about me. I went on a weekend get away with my best friend and brother (of all people) and was standing in line inside a casino when he walked by. He's a really shy person so I know it took something within for him to turn back around and actually come up to me and say hi. Long story, short: we were friends for about 2 years before we started dating. The timing just wasn't right back then. But I could always sense there was something about him...

I always tell people now that maybe the person they're meant for will find them when they least expect it....or when they stop searching. Or, even... that the person they're meant to be with is already in their life and simply overlooked. Don't worry about rushing to find your someone. When the time is right, it will work out... Life is funny that way and I know all your hardships and heartaches will not be in vain.

Continue to learn more about yourself and love yourself. That's the hardest part. Everything else will fall into place. :)
 
I'm feeling better today than I have in a while..I'm wearing an outfit I feel fantastic in....I've been attempting to eat better, with varying success...I really need to start writing it down, its just been crazy hectic the last couple of days with working and school starting. I will come on later to try and give a run down of the day. Thanks everyone for the great feedback!! I appreciate it :)
 
Just stopped by and read your whole story. WOW!! lots of stuff going on in here.

First off, i agree with the other posters, you are very attractive. Although, sometime you might not feel that way. Love will come and usually when you least expect it. ( i hope this came out right)

Second, yes you should start writing down everything you eat. It helps A LOT. When your weightloss is going well you can look back and see what work and vice versa, when things dont go welll you can see why.

I know something that helped me was to find something completely new and fun to do. It broke a pattern for me and helped me stay focused on my weight loss goals. I didnt associate eating with my new hobby. It was something i could do for a few hours a night that got my mind off food.

Hope this helps.

Matt
 
Hey, so I ate out quite a bit today...I was in school from 9 am- 4pm today and had a western sandwich from my favorite breakfast place near school on wholewheat bread, no butter on the bread. I drank water all morning rather than coffee...I didn't realy need coffee till later on in the day because I got a pretty good nights sleep...fell asleep around 8:30 last night. For lunch I got a six inch tuna sub from subway with a bottle of water. I offered my cookies to others as I wasn't wanting to be tempted.
I was very tempted to buy a pack of chips to eat in class, but I decided I had probably eaten out too much today, so I should probably stay away from them, that and they are just not good for the diet in general. Tonight, I am not sure what I am going to have for dinner....I might have soup and a spinach salad. I'm thinking later on tonight I may go out for a walk in my new running shoes...red and white..two of my favorite colors, in a running shoe...so yeah, this has been my day so far. I am going to try and go into the gym tommorow after I finish school at 12 pm....need to get myself back in the routine. I'm also trying to not nap especially on days when I'm not doing overnights because I still want to try and keep some semblance of a schedule for my body.

Thank you everyone for your feedback.
 
So dinner was pakora's with tzatziki dip and water to drink. Nothing terribly exciting, just slightly different to what I usually have. I hadn't eaten in a while and was starting to feel shaky so I had a healthy choice tapioca pudding...just one, and felt better. Am going to see about going in to the gym tommorow before work....this weekend is going to be crazy...i'm working tommorow night, have school till 4 friday, work 6-9:30 at the store, do 11-7 at the shelter, and then doing 11-7 again at the shelter on the Saturday night and then 3-11 pm on Sunday....I get the feeling the gym is not going to be happening over the weekend......I'm just going to be glad for Monday to come around when I actually have a full day off...insanity...
 
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