Post-personal trainer motivation?

[Sapientia]

Hey everyone! After a few times peeking at posts and finding great motivation, I've decided to start contributing... with a question

About a week and a half ago, sick and tired of failing to lose weight on my own, I decided to go all out and join a gym near where I live and pay for a personal trainer. I did this after numerous times trying to work out on my own at my University's gym. So far I love it - she kicks my as each time and I'm sweating more than ever! But I know that after 6 months, our sessions together will be over and I will have to start doing my workouts on my own (that is how their program works).

My question is this. Knowing that most habits take about 21 days to form, and that 6 months is much more than that, I am still worried that once my sessions with my personal trainer are over, I will gradually work out less and less and re-gain some weight. Has anyone lived this type of situation before? Did working out become a habit or did you have a difficult time keeping it up?

Thanks!

 

[pablorivera]

Motivation comes from all sorts of weird and beneficial places. I struggled with the uncertainty of just *where* my next motivation was going to come from if my "current" motivational crutch were to go away (trainer, weight loss buddy, etc.) That's when I used to struggle with my weight. I can only share with you the change in mindset that allowed me to really break free from always looking for my next motivation "fix". Here goes (and warning, this isn't for everyone)...

I realized that I don't *have* to do a d@mn thing! There is absolutely nothing that can *make* me exercise or eat right, and there's nothing says I have to. It's totally up to me. But by the same token, I should be perfectly ready to accept the consequences of that decision too. So, the next question becomes... why bother? Why *should* I exercise and eat right? (You know, "what's in it for me'?)

This much was clear to me:

1. Living obese/overweight makes for a miserable life. No exaggeration. No hype. Being overweight made my physically ill (chronic migraines, constant felt drained of energy, could never do what I wanted with the kids after work because I was completely wiped out, etc.) To put it bluntly, life was misery and it really, really sucked. I HATED LIVING THAT WAY. (For me personally.)

2. Living lean/healthier was the complete opposite. It was the "escape" from the current physical (and sometimes mental) misery I was in.

3. I was NEVER going to experience the life called "lean and healthy" by continuing to take the actions of the "overweight and miserable". People that are lean and healthy ARE that way because of the ACTIONS (lifestyle) they take. It's not a magical event. In order to reap the rewards that come from being lean and healthy, I would HAVE to start doing the same things that lean and healthy people DO.

Bottom line: I focused on the sobering reality that I couldn't have the benefits without living the lifestyle. Cutting through all the mental fog and BS, it really came down to making one single choice (consciously): do I want to be fit or fat? Regardless of the choice, each one has very distinct requirements. (And deep down we all know what those are.)

Strictly speaking for myself only (because we are all motivated differently), I would look at any need for outside motivation as a sign that maybe I still didn't have things squared away within myself completely yet. Not to say that I didn't take outside motivation when it came along. Of course I did! (The compliments from both men and women on my progress, etc.... of course that was awesome and helped for sure!) What I'm talking about here, however, is the situation where you NEED outside motivation, or else you won't do anything.

Having said that...

Everything I just said is pretty idealistic, right? "Ideally" we should all want to be 100% motivated from within. And I agree it's idealistic, and probably the ultimate goal.

Above all, you must do whatever it takes to get you going right now. If that means locating a weight loss buddy, exercise partner, diet partner, or whatever it takes to get you to take the actions you want to take... then do exactly that. At least you're making progress while your moving towards the ideal. I can't think of anything that trumps the power of incremental progress.

If your personal training is going away after 6 months, think about other ways that will keep you just as motivated and accountable, and maybe start working them into your routine so you can smoothly transition once the training sessions are up.

At the risk of sounding like a total "tool" for having written this post, I hope it helps.

ps... and btw, congrats on deciding to join the discussions!

 

[Mr. Love]

Great reply. I dont normally read post that big but I am glad I did this time.

 

[ocd]

In many ways my motivation was similar to Pablo's.

For me I was overweight all my life, I was always the fat kid from the time I was in grade school. So I honestly never knew anything different other than I was miserable. I was a very miserable person to others because of it as well, and wasted a great deal of my life on that way of thinking.

Where I started with motivation was all out, it must be done, no compromises obsessiveness. That's why I chose the name ocd, for obsessive compulsive disorder. Since at the time I created this account I considered myself obsessive compulsive about weight loss. I focused a lot on thinking how miserable it was to be that overweight and how much I would hate to go back there as my motivation. That and the sheer addictiveness of watching the scale drop every month.

I can fully sympathize now with those that have a harder time, because to be honest I had it so easy along the way. Don't get me wrong, I did have to work hard for it. I was running 9 miles a day at one point before I powered out on being able to sustain that. Still I was blessed in that the weight came off pretty consistent for me all the way down. Now I have hit the truly hard part. The reality of making it a lifelong change and coming to terms with the fact that while it's (relatively) easy to blast off a lot of fat, it's 100 times harder to shape your body with muscle tone. I have gained respect for those people on here that did both at the same time, or simply have accomplished both as I struggle down the much longer path of a toned body, where the rewards are not near as quick and gratifying to sustain you.

I would caution one thing though about that type of motivation, the fear of going back motivation I mentioned. It can have a negative effect too. For me recently with the struggles I have been experiencing I find that maybe that fear of going back is so strong in me that it is actually hindering me and could ironically cause me to do exactly that. I would offer that it is perhaps better to avoid dwelling on the thought of a negative consequence like that just based on my recent experiences, but then this is all in the opinion of just another individual struggling with the same things, so take it for what it's worth in that respect.

Oh and continued success and best wishes with your weight loss.

 

[Sapientia]

You guys are totally right. I have already started noticing my "obese" versus "lean" ways of thinking in order to have less of the former and more of the latter. And as a former psych student, I totally, TOTALLY get your point on intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation.

I guess the main problem is that even though I am a graduate student (and people associate that with being motivated), I have a hard time sticking to anything... mostly because I never do it long enough for it to become a habit! So I figured if it takes 21 days to develop one, and I work out 3x a week, in 7 weeks I should be "used to" going to the gym, making it almost a necessity (Since a lot of active people tell me that's what happens when you go long enough!). I was so relieved when my personal trainer told me you aren't "born" active, it is acquired.

Anyway, like I said, great replies, thank you! I find that men have a particularly straightforward way of talking about these things that is very refreshing!

 

[Holly88]

I think there's been some awesome advice in this thread.

I just wanted to ask why you have to bring gender into your comments OP?

I find that men have a particularly straightforward way of talking about these things that is very refreshing!

It just seemed unnecessary?

 

[ocd]

You guys are totally right. I have already started noticing my "obese" versus "lean" ways of thinking in order to have less of the former and more of the latter. And as a former psych student, I totally, TOTALLY get your point on intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation.

I guess the main problem is that even though I am a graduate student (and people associate that with being motivated), I have a hard time sticking to anything... mostly because I never do it long enough for it to become a habit! So I figured if it takes 21 days to develop one, and I work out 3x a week, in 7 weeks I should be "used to" going to the gym, making it almost a necessity (Since a lot of active people tell me that's what happens when you go long enough!). I was so relieved when my personal trainer told me you aren't "born" active, it is acquired.

Anyway, like I said, great replies, thank you! I find that men have a particularly straightforward way of talking about these things that is very refreshing!

Since I have been making the steps to put away money for higher learning that I put off following high school, I would say one shouldn't discount the motivation it takes to follow that path as well.

I think the enlightening moment for me was the moment I realized that if you want anything it amounts to the simplicity that you just have to want it bad enough to do it. In your case you wanted an education enough to do it, when I got out of high school I simply didn't. I didn't gain that understanding till the age of 32, after drifting through life blaming anything and everything for my own failures.

It's an every day thing though, you have to get up every day and remind yourself to keep your eyes on the goal, that it's lifelong, that there is no going back. It's hard, and those old habits and negativities can rear their head even a long way down the road. You just have to always stay positive and stay on top of it.

Keeping a journal has been helpful to me along the way. I was someone who would have laughed at especially a man that keeps a journal before I started this, but then I like to think that fat, negative, destructive, and closed off person that destroyed my body for 32 years is dead. Or at the very least dying though he tries to claw his way back out every now and again through negativity, and he has to be constantly beaten back so the new, fit, positive and outgoing person in his place can thrive. Sharing with others in places like this is great as well along the same line of thinking of journaling as far as motivation goes. Talking to people that understand and that have gone through it is fantastic, because to be honest talking to people who don't understand it, and have never had to go through it is of limited value in my opinion, possibly even destructive given the bad advice and killers to motivation I have found I sometimes got along the way from the people in my life that didn't have to go through this kind of experience.

 

[Sapientia]

I think there's been some awesome advice in this thread.

I just wanted to ask why you have to bring gender into your comments OP?


It just seemed unnecessary?

Gosh, that's a really good question, and I don't know that I have a good answer to that! It was just a general impression that always seems to jump at me. I suppose it *is* unnecessary, if not even negative, since it does perpetuate gender stereotypes, doesn't it. Is that why it bothered you? I sure wasn't trying to be mean or anything...

 

[summer123]

Few things to keep you motivated on the exercise front:

1. Keep the variation. Do different things every day, classes, working with a buddy, working alone with loud music, interval training, flat out speed training, HIIT... keep things fresh and read magazines on fitness and websites for new ideas tips and plans.

2. Get a buddy at the gym, keep checking in with them, see hwo they are doing, keep up with them by being able to say to them "I have done x,y and z this week".

3. Be realistic, if you set your goals too way off and you find it hard to keep them, its going to impact on how you feel about yourself, how or if you carry on, if you really push with all your energy or take a more laid back approach because your bored. Make goals you can keep!

4. Remember that personal trainers have a high price for a reason and they do a job which works. If everyone could do what they do (motivate themselves to such a high degree) they'd be all out of jobs and there would be no personal training industry. Even Madonna has a personal trainer as do most of the celebs- they exist for a reason, because few can obtain such results without them so don't be too hard on yourself, your likely to reduce the intensity of your workouts yes, but they will be far greater then they were when you first started out.

5. If you can, get a goal thats time based and specific. Liek a marathon or some other form of contest or group goal. Break it down into smaller goals, bit by bit, measure your progress, even raise some money for charity. You can then start a training schedual and you know what? it'll look great on your graduate CV.

6. If all else fails, buy yourself a new (gym) outfit and shoes (trainers) download some brand new music and paaaarrrty when you workout- aim to enjoy it, treat it as something to look to. A new outfit always seems to give me a boost, makes me feel better about myself, makes me feel all the more authentic and I take what I do that bit more seriously with more gusto.