Please help me!

[logicalbatman]

Hi guys and gals

So, about two weeks ago I weighed myself and I weighed 217. I'm 5'4, nineteen years young, female, so I am very overweight as it is. Well, actually, I'm obese. I weighed myself today, and the number I saw almost made my heart stop--227.5.

I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh. You weight almost 230 pounds."

That's more than my parents weigh, and they've both been overweight for as long as I've been alive.

I know exactly what did it to me. I went to college last year, and I didn't gain the freshman 15, I gained the freshman 25. Then in May I got my own place, and I gained probably about thirty pounds in just these few months.

I make myself sick--I will order a large pizza and eat every piece of it. I'll eat a whole quart of sherbert, a whole loaf of French bread, a whole bag of chips or candy, a whole two liter of soda.

Even though I know how disgusting I am, I can't seem to make myself stop. I don't know WHY I eat so much. I guess part of it is because I've been bored (school hasn't been in session, and I've only been working about twenty hours a week). I don't have a lot of friends to keep me occupied, so I'm also very, very lonely.

Part of me knows that, if I lost weight, I'd be more confident, ergo, I'd have more friends, maybe even a boyfriend. But then I think, ugh, I'm so lonely NOW, and I go for the pizza, the ice cream, the meat, whatever.

My mom and I are trying to each lose thirty pounds by December 1st, which is a pretty reasonable goal. We're both very overweight, so we have a lot to lose. Which brings me to my next hurdle--I feel like even when I lose thirty pounds, I'll still think, okay, now I weigh--let's say 195, just to make the math easy lol--I still have sixty pounds to lose to get to my goal weight of 135. That's so much! I'm afraid that I'm so big now that other's wont even notice my weight loss.

How do you all stay motivated, and how do you keep yourselves from those emotional binges?

 

[KaraCooks]

Hi and welcome.

First thing I'd suggest is that you read all the sticky posts in the various forums. There's a ton of good information on nutrition, calories, exercise, and so forth. So much of it has already been typed out and will answer a lot of your basic questions.

As far as motivation, I'll quote something from the first page of my journal which explains how I feel about being motivated to do something:

A lot of people have problems staying motivated, especially when they don't see results immediately (or when they hit a stall or a dip). And a lot of people think that if they're not "motivated" all the time about weight loss and being healthy, then they're not doing it right. I used to be this way, which is why I dieted and failed for so many years.

So now my philosophy has changed. It's more of a life-plan type of philosophy instead of a rah-rah one. Here it is:

Some mornings when you get up, you feel great and you're excited to go to work or get on with your daily routine and you're energized and motivated, right? And some mornings you get up and you didn't sleep well and you feel bad or you're upset about something or you've got cramps and feel bloated ... and you really just want to go back to bed and hide under the covers. But .. you don't. And it has nothing to do with being motivated. You get up and go to work or care for the kids or go to school or whatever because that's what we do. That's what a responsible, mature adult does.

And that's how I look at the whole process of eating well, losing weight, and exercising. Some days I feel really good about it. Some days I have great ideas for what to fix for dinner and I enjoy the challenge and the gym is fun and .. it all is just GREAT. And some days I look at the yogurt in my bowl in the morning and think "Bleah." Some days I get in my car after work and think "I just want to go home" and then I drive to the gym and do my workout.

It's not always fun. It's not always what you WANT to do. But if you are honest with yourself and if you are responsible and sensible ... you do it. Just like everything in life.

For me, that's a change in mindset that I had to make in order to stick to my program, lose weight, and keep it off. It's not about motivation - it's about commitment. And I am committed to this journey.