PLEASE help - dire situation :(

[Tasksgirl]

Hi - I was hoping to hear from Kara on this one since you seem to know ALOT about this .. and especially about the "too little/too much" dilemma..

I'm writing this for my husband .. he has been doing his diet/lifestyle change for about 1 month now. Workouts have been 1 or 2 x a week only since he just started a new job and is getting in the routine. About 1 hour each time. (the plan now though is to strength train / elliptical / jog on a track at the gym 3 days a week and run/jog at a local park the other 4 days).

- Breakfast is a whole grain oats w/ strawberries cereal with no fat milk

- Snacks are either a snack bar, a banana, or 1 ham sandwich (very low fat Costco ham - very low calories) also with fresh chopped veggies (tomatoes, onions, green peppers AND red peppers)

- Lunch is another ham sandwich

- Dinner is whole wheat pasta w/ veggies, beef or chicken with rice, homemade potato wedges, or homemade pizza (french bread with low calorie pizza sauce and fresh veggies) or other similar things.

His doctor told him to go very low calorie - 1200 a day. However I have seen you say and others say that he would need about 3500. That is a HUGE difference. I don't understand how to know if you are eating too much or eating too little.

I feel like crying all the time. He has foot problems, back problems, sleep apnea, is always tired and cranky, and due to his weight I am sure he is going to have fertility problems when we TTC next year. I ordered him $150 worth of shirts from his favorite website (DrJays) and brands of clothing that used to fit him don't fit (6x!) even though he has shirts of those same brands that are 4x that fits.. I guess they lowered the sizes or something.. but it is still very disheartening that normal clothes don't fit him anymore. Last night he weighed himself for the first time since starting all of this. He is now UP from about 325 to 335 !

He has been really dedicated to his eating habits (especially compared to before). They are not perfect but I read all these stories of people who lost 10 pounds in a week just by cutting out soda and I don't get it - he is so dedicated - when he does work out he works out hard - and he has already been tested for thyroid problems. It's amazing that at his weight and BMI (335 and BMI of about 50!) that his doctors clear him as being healthy. Good cholesterol, diabetes tests are negative, etc. I just don't understand. I have been with him since we were kids practically and in the past 1.5 years it seems he has gone from 280 to 335. He has always been large and his whole family is large but now it is just getting scary and it scares us even more that the things he is doing are not helping. I don't understand why everything has to be 100% perfect for some people to lose even 1 pound and others lose 200 pounds just by working out 3 times a week and switching to diet soda !!

I just want to scream and I am sure he does as well.. its very frustrating for him to try so hard and have nothing seem to work..
It's like - just tell me what to do and I'll do it! - but how can there be 2 clearly different paths?? (eating very little or eating a ton of calories!) too much or too little !!

 

[KaraCooks]

[Apologies in advance for how freakin' long this is - I got carried away! ]

Hey sweetie. I'm so sorry you're going through this stress. I know how frustrating and scary it can be. I've been there too.

Ok, here's the thing - I've said this on another thread and I'll say it again here - I have the UTMOST respect for doctors, but over the last 3-4 years I've found that most doctors (your average general practitioner, family doctor, whoever) knows diddly squat about weight loss and exercise. I think that's a sad state of affairs ... but most doctors, when asked about weight loss will tell you "eat less and exercise more" and when you ask them for specifics will say something like "oh 1200 calories or so". That's almost word for word what my (former) doctor told me when I asked about losing weight. He never asked about my activity levels, never asked WHAT I ate, never talked to me about nutritional value or macro nutrients or anything. And at 250 lbs, there's no way I should have been eating 1200 calories AND working out. My ex-husbands doctor told him virtually the same thing when he hit 280. At that point I knew enough to know that something was wrong - me at 5'4" and with a goal weight of 130 and my ex at 6'1" and a goal weight of 190 couldn't possibly BOTH be supposed to eat 1200 calories of diet food. I figured there had to be a better way.

So over the last 3 years I've done a ton of research and reading - both online and off. One thing I've found is that, oddly enough, weight lifters seem to have the BEST handle on nutrition. Most of what you read on weight lifting sites and in books lean towards how to build the most muscle (to bulk up) but if you can interpret past the bulking advice, you can see that most of them really have a handle on it - they HAVE to if they want to cut fat and build muscle. You can't do that and not know something about what you're eating.

Ok, so the other thing is that it's possible to be "healthy fat" within the guidelines of what medical science considers healthy. I was. I was 250 lbs and a BMI of 43 - but I had good blood pressure, good cholesterol levels, no joint problems, etc. From THAT standpoint I was healthy. From other standpoints - I wasn't. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs w/out gasping for breath. I couldn't carry groceries in from the car w/out panting. I was tired all the time and even when I got plenty of sleep, I had no energy. My skin was bad - not breaking out, but dull, flaky, oily. My eyes were dull and tended to be bloodshot. My hair and nails were brittle (the amount of money I spent on conditioner and treatments and stuff ... ouch!).

Anyway ... all of that to say - I truly believe that the medical profession is WAY behind the curve in managing obesity and diet and exercise. They measure your "health" based on certain set points and they give a one-size-fits-all guideline for losing weight and it just doesn't work that way.

Ok, so I've blathered. Here's what *I* would do if I were in your husband's place.

At 335 lbs and somewhat inactive (I'm assuming his job is a desk job of some sort), I would start at around 14 calories per pound. So that gives him 4690 calories. Then I'd subtract 20% from that to get to about 3700. That, to me, sounds like a reasonable starting point. For every 25-30 lbs he loses, you can redo that calculation. So when he gets down to 300, drop the calories to 3350, etc.

I'd also sit down and really plan out meals so that his diet is well balanced between 40% carbs, 30% protein and 30% healthy fat. This is the part that takes getting used to, and I would suggest registering with a site like thedailyplate.com or one of those to help you with the calculations. I use daily plate and like it because of the little pie chart in the upper right that shows you those breakdowns as you enter your food for the day.

So ideally for your hubby, a days food would be something like this (this is based on what I normally eat, but you can get the general idea and then adapt it to something he might like):

Breakfast: 2 cups plain full-fat yogurt and 1 cup fruit of some kind (I like frozen blueberries). Mix in 1 scoop of protein powder.
Snack: apple and 2 T of natural peanut butter
Lunch: 2 whole wheat pitas stuffed with albacore tuna, baby spinach, tomato slices, cucumber slices, whatever other veggies you want to throw in there, some pepper jack cheese (1 slice for each pita) and drizzled with some kind of vinaigrette (or mixed with 1 T of mayo).
Snack: 2 boiled eggs sliced over a piece of whole grain toast with about 1 tsp of (regular, not light) mayo and dijon mustard mixed and sprinkled with black pepper.
Post workout: 1 scoop of protein powder in 8oz of orange juice
Dinner: 6oz of grilled or baked chicken breast (lightly brushed with olive oil or maybe marinated in a vinaigrette of some kind), a baked sweet potato with a little butter and cinnamon sprinkled on top (if he likes sweet - or salt and pepper otherwise), a big pile of mixed veggies (I love to oven roast veggies or throw them on the grill) - things like mushrooms, tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, slices of red onion, etc. Toss them in a little olive oil first and then just let them bake or grill until they start to get slightly crispy on the edges. So good (I had this last night).
Snack/dessert: Low-fat frozen yogurt with fruit

Sounds like a lot of food, doesn't it? That right there works out to about 3200 calories with a nearly perfect 40/30/30 split. It gives you some wiggle room to add something if he gets hungry during the day, wants to maybe have some popcorn for a snack, or wants to play around with more condiments or whatever. Obviously as he loses weight, he'll cut back ... lose the mayo or the cheese, or drop down to one pita for lunch or 4 oz of chicken for dinner ... but as he loses and becomes accustomed to eating healthily and eating less, that should become easier.

You'll also notice that I specify full fat yogurt and full fat mayo and stuff like that. I am a BIG believer in eating REAL food in reasonable quantities. I personally would rather have 1/2 T of real mayo than 4x that amount of the light stuff that has thickeners and gelatins and so forth in it. I think it's healthier to eat real food than stuff that has been messed with. The only exception to that rule for me is dairy - removing fat from milk involves straining the milkfat and isn't usually replaced with chemical thickeners. So I do drink 2% milk (when I drink it). I still prefer full fat yogurt and will gladly accommodate the extra calories - but I also make my own yogurt at home and so I can control what goes in it.

Some people might disagree and say you should eat the reduced fat versions of things, and I do believe that's personal choice - so don't feel that what I say here is gospel, it's just my personal philosophy on food.

Yowza. So I just wrote a book. Sorry about that - obviously I have time on my hands this morning. But I hope it helps some. And please feel free to ask questions. I'm happy to help when I can!

 

[Blancita]

Starting out at 1200 calories is ridiculously unnecessary. The goal is to eat as much as possible while still losing at least 2 lbs a week. If that's happening, and H is happy and not starving, he will likely keep this up. If he's miserable, starving and can't even think straight from hunger, he will hate this diet and get off of it, as I'm sure he has in the past.

One tweak may include minimizing grains and other simple carbs. Grains and other carbs, other than fruits and veggies, really do increase one's appetite and also cause an increase in insulin, a hormone that inhibits fat burning. If I was him, I would substitute the pizza and other high carb foods for at least one or two meals. Not cutting all grains out, but limiting them when possible. That will help his cravings and help burn fat. The type of foods we eat are often as important as the number of calories..maybe not as important actually, but definitely very much up there in importance.

Main thing is to keep H happy on his new diet. Which means avoiding deprivation and too many changes too fast.

Try going out for a walk with him every day after work for just 20 minutes. That will do wonders for his health, blood fats, cholesterol, leptin levels, insulin levels, etc etc etc. Just get him MOVING!

 

[Tasksgirl]

It just sounds like soo much.. haha.. are you sure that works for everyone?
Could you give me some more meal ideas? That are fast, cheap, and easy? He works from 12pm - 9pm so the majority of his meals need to be eaten at work.. which is why he usually takes some sandwiches, and a snack bar or a banana.. should we leave those meals the same and bulk up the breakfast and dinner?

So this much calories he should be having even on the days he doesn't work out right? (If there are any days that we don't at least go walking) And this type of diet wouldn't work if one didn't exercise correct? How are these times for eating are they spread out enough or too spread out, too many, too few, etc. ? 8am - 11am - 2pm - 5pm - 7pm - 10pm

And to make things worse.. we went jogging today.. very light jogging.. intervals.. mostly walking.. we were walking and he stepped wrong on this metal trim that lines the path and twisted his ankle !! it's a huge setback as now he probably won't be able to work out for several weeks.. hopefully in a week or 2 we will be able to go walking again.. but its disappointing

I don't know if you will know this - but you do seem to know alot - if someone is "healthy fat" does that mean their fertility will generally be OK or is it just like a fact of nature that the higher ones BMI the lower their sperm count/quality.. ? lol..

Thank you soo much for all your help! I don't mind reading all your "books" lol

 

[Tasksgirl]

Starting out at 1200 calories is ridiculously unnecessary. The goal is to eat as much as possible while still losing at least 2 lbs a week. If that's happening, and H is happy and not starving, he will likely keep this up. If he's miserable, starving and can't even think straight from hunger, he will hate this diet and get off of it, as I'm sure he has in the past.

One tweak may include minimizing grains and other simple carbs. Grains and other carbs, other than fruits and veggies, really do increase one's appetite and also cause an increase in insulin, a hormone that inhibits fat burning. If I was him, I would substitute the pizza and other high carb foods for at least one or two meals. Not cutting all grains out, but limiting them when possible. That will help his cravings and help burn fat. The type of foods we eat are often as important as the number of calories..maybe not as important actually, but definitely very much up there in importance.

Main thing is to keep H happy on his new diet. Which means avoiding deprivation and too many changes too fast.

Try going out for a walk with him every day after work for just 20 minutes. That will do wonders for his health, blood fats, cholesterol, leptin levels, insulin levels, etc etc etc. Just get him MOVING!

The thing is his body seemed to adjust to it very easily and he never has hunger pains or cravings.. this new plan has been easy for him to stick to partially because of the way his breaks are laid out at work.. he used to mainly eat one big meal at nighttime - partly a cultural thing - and I think he ended up liking being able to eat several small meals throughout the day.. he found himself not being able to eat as much at once as he used to and finding that if he ate something unhealthy he would feel sick.. so we took those as good signs! But I guess the weight loss part of the body didn't like it.. haha .. I feel like we are doing the right things health-wise (or at least on the right path) but not the right things weight-wise..

 

[Tasksgirl]

Oh one more thing.. how do you make your own yogurt?
I've started making my own peanut butter after reading one of those articles about the bug parts and rodent hairs in there.. lol..
And it may not sound like much but the homemade french fries and pizzas and something as simple as chopping up veggies were a BIG step for me.. I didn't cook. lol. In the past he would eat either something his mom made, something he made, or stuff I bring from work (we get free catering). This was also mostly to save money.. we've had times in the past where we really couldn't afford much.. Even with all my new baby steps at cooking (lol) if I need something done on TOP of the oven I call my SIL to help me.. For some reason a gas stove just freaks me the hell out.. lol.

 

[usedtobefatmatt]

It just sounds like soo much.. haha.. are you sure that works for everyone?
Could you give me some more meal ideas? That are fast, cheap, and easy? He works from 12pm - 9pm so the majority of his meals need to be eaten at work.. which is why he usually takes some sandwiches, and a snack bar or a banana.. should we leave those meals the same and bulk up the breakfast and dinner?

So this much calories he should be having even on the days he doesn't work out right? (If there are any days that we don't at least go walking) And this type of diet wouldn't work if one didn't exercise correct? How are these times for eating are they spread out enough or too spread out, too many, too few, etc. ? 8am - 11am - 2pm - 5pm - 7pm - 10pm

And to make things worse.. we went jogging today.. very light jogging.. intervals.. mostly walking.. we were walking and he stepped wrong on this metal trim that lines the path and twisted his ankle !! it's a huge setback as now he probably won't be able to work out for several weeks.. hopefully in a week or 2 we will be able to go walking again.. but its disappointing

I don't know if you will know this - but you do seem to know alot - if someone is "healthy fat" does that mean their fertility will generally be OK or is it just like a fact of nature that the higher ones BMI the lower their sperm count/quality.. ? lol..

Thank you soo much for all your help! I don't mind reading all your "books" lol

I can see you are very concerned about the fertility part. I was 350 when my wife got pregnant. Dont worry either because she looks like me.

You husband sounds a lot like me when i started, when i get home i will sit down and read this thread a little closer and give some comments. 350 was my highest wieght, i am now weighing in at 210-215.

I wish your husband the best of luck

 

[KaraCooks]

I'll leave the first bit about other meals to the end.

So this much calories he should be having even on the days he doesn't work out right?

Yeah. I think for now, it would be fine. The 3500 or so calories will give him a pretty big deficit, even w/out adding in exercise.

And this type of diet wouldn't work if one didn't exercise correct?

Oh it would still work - especially at his current weight. The thing is, food is probably 80% of the weight loss battle. You can lose weight w/out exercising by eating less. You can't lose weight just by exercising, if you eat too much. Exercise, however, has other benefits, so I never recommend one without the other. So with your situation (and ouch, sorry about his ankle), even though he can't exercise until the ankle heals, keep eating healthy meals at a reasonable calorie level. He'll lose anyway - just not as much as fast.

How are these times for eating are they spread out enough or too spread out, too many, too few, etc. ? 8am - 11am - 2pm - 5pm - 7pm - 10pm

I'd say that looks just fine. And you don't have to stick to the number of meals/snacks I listed or even that many. You can do more or less, or scrunch them more together. The important thing is the number of calories and the nutritional value. The rest is very personal. For example, I HAVE to have a snack about 30 mins before I workout. If I workout on an empty stomach I get sick. So I make sure to have one of my snacks about that time. Some people have the opposite problem - they get sick if they eat too close to working out, so for them, maybe skipping an afternoon snack would be a better idea.

I don't know if you will know this - but you do seem to know alot - if someone is "healthy fat" does that mean their fertility will generally be OK or is it just like a fact of nature that the higher ones BMI the lower their sperm count/quality.. ? lol..

Honestly I don't know the answer to that from a guy's perspective. I do know that overweight women often have a harder time implanting and so their fertility is compromised that way (a problem I had). I'm not sure how BMI affects sperm count though.

Ok, so moving on to the first part:

Could you give me some more meal ideas? That are fast, cheap, and easy? He works from 12pm - 9pm so the majority of his meals need to be eaten at work.. which is why he usually takes some sandwiches, and a snack bar or a banana .. should we leave those meals the same and bulk up the breakfast and dinner?

Oh sure ... I can come up with meals all day long. I love to cook and this kind of planning is something I really enjoy.

I would definitely bulk up breakfast and dinner. There are so many things you can do for both that will add variety. And keep in mind that breakfast doesn't have to be breakfast food if you don't want it to be. I often have a turkey wrap for breakfast or leftover pizza (I make homemade with a whole grain crust) or sometimes leftover beans. And then again, I often have eggs or oats for dinner ... so I'm just all over the place.

I'm assuming he has access to a fridge and a microwave at work - so he can take more than just sandwiches? If so, there are tons of possibilities.

I am a big fan of casseroles myself. I make lasagna with whole grain noodles and veggies instead of meat - comes out to about 400 calories a serving. Or a mexican style casserole with corn tortillas, lots of tomatoes, black beans, and canned white meat chicken - again about 400 calories per serving. Those things can be made in advance, then frozen and taken out and baked. They're great reheated so work well as an office meal.

I also like to make stir fry type things; they reheat well also. A bunch of veggies stir fried together with a splash of soy sauce is really good (a little high in salt, so watch the quantity of soy sauce). Serve them over brown rice and maybe add some chopped up chicken breast or a piece of grilled fish. I like to buy frozen shrimp from Costco and throw in maybe 10 - 12 shrimp into my stir fry.

Also a big salad with a little bit of everything works well. Mix together all your veggies and greens in a bowl (baby spinach, tomatoes, carrots, lettuce, cabbage, etc). Then in a separate bag or container put your chopped up chicken breast and a small container of dressing or oil and vinegar. When it's time to eat, just mix it all together. Maybe add some parm cheese or some blue cheese if you like.

A baked sweet potato is a great snack and pretty self contained. You can either bake it whole or you can chop it into cubes and roast it, drizzled with a little olive oil.

I also make tomato sauce by the gallon and use it on everything. I make pizza with it, put it over steamed veggies, make regular spaghetti with whole grain pasta, use it in my lasagna, etc. It's a super easy recipe - I'll post it here later today.

What other things does he like to eat and how much do you like to cook? I can come up with tons of ideas.

 

[Tasksgirl]

Thank you all! This is definately a great forum.. it can be hard to find one that isn't "snarky" .. on another forum I posted a few months back they attacked me and my husband for not coming on and posting himself .. he just isn't the type to come and talk to strangers on the internet! But I am ! I always use forums for what I am going through..

Oh I just realized I didn't include an age.. sometimes that can make a difference.. he is almost 24 and Hispanic.. and his mom has diabetes but so far he has been able to avoid it.. his immediate family is overweight by varying degrees (but he is the heaviest although proportionally his 16 year old sister is 255).. and on his mom's side most of his uncles are but not his aunts.. one of them even died I think in his 30's but he also drank alot..

 

[Tasksgirl]

Thanks so much for the tips! I made a similar casserole.. I used whole grain pasta, tomato sauce, mexicorn (lol it's corn with some peppers or something in it), onions, green peppers, tomatoes, chilli powder, a sprinkle of cheese, low fat sour cream .. hmm I think that was it..

I think I will make that tonight! lol

I like the idea of a casserole because you can easily save it ..

He's Hispanic so he likes meat.. rice.. beans.. likes spicy things..
The casserole I listed above he LOVED it.. and he loves the pizza I make.. that and the homemade peanut butter and french fries are about all I have made.. LOL.. unless you count chopping the veggies for the week

The sweet potato sounds interesting.. I think that would be something to try..

He does have a microwave and fridge but he uses a little cooler bag instead of the fridge.. 2 of his breaks are only 15 minutes and it takes a while for him to finish up his call, log out of his time tracker (customer service job), use the bathroom, get to the kitchen, etc. so he only has about 5 minutes to eat..

Thanks again !

 

[KaraCooks]

Oh, gas stoves rock. I hate cooking on electric. Once you get used to it, you'll love it.

Yogurt is SUPER easy to make. Really. You can buy yogurt makers, but I have never used one. You probably will need to buy a few things, but they're cheap and it's SO worth it, IMO.

Ok, I started to type it out and it got hugely long and off topic.

I think what I'll do is write it up for my food blog tonight and post it. Then I'll come back and post the link. I think it'll be easier that way.

 

[Tasksgirl]

LOL ok.. thanks so much for all the advice ! You are so nice! =)
One last question for now - what exactly is it that makes eating too few calories have the same effect as eating too many?

 

[KaraCooks]

Well there's a whole big scientific definition and lots of variables that you can get into, but really it boils down to this:

Our bodies are conditioned for survival. For however many thousand years that humans have been around, that has mostly meant learning how to conserve energy. You have to remember that up until the last maybe 100 years or so, the idea that you could have food when you wanted it was unheard of. Before that, you ate when you found food or when you were lucky enough to catch food, or you didn't eat. So our bodies learned how to conserve energy when we didn't have food by slowing our metabolisms.

That's what happens when you reduce calories; your metabolism slows. If you do it gradually, you can kind of keep ahead of the game and continue to lose weight. If you suddenly go from eating a whole lot to eating nearly nothing (and in comparison, going from 5000 calories a day to 1200 calories a day is "nearly nothing"), your body goes "WHOA! Starvation ahead!" and really drops your metabolism to compensate.

Now if you (or someone of your husbands weight) continued to eat 1200 calories for a really long time, he'd probably start losing weight again. You can't eat so little and NOT lose. But it would take longer, be harder, and be really unhealthy. You'd wind up burning a lot of lean muscle mass in the process. And probably when you quit eating at the 1200 calorie level, you'd start gaining weight back because you'd have slowed your metabolism down so much.

The ideal way to lose is to eat as much as you can and still lose. Only drop your calories again when you stop losing and hit a plateau (and a plateau isn't just a few days or a few weeks, but a significant amount of time. 6-8 weeks ... that's a plateau. Anything else is just a blip. ).

 

[Tasksgirl]

Makes sense!
Sounds silly but can this be frozen for the next day? or should it just be refrigerated? - ( I told you I'm a food rookie! )

 

[KaraCooks]

I've never frozen the fruit salad ... I don't think it would work all that well. Or you might be able to eat it while frozen, but I think if you thawed it, it would get mushy.

 

[Tasksgirl]

Hi - I'm back!
Ok he is back down to 325 again and he is starting a 5 day a week fitness bootcamp on Monday.. we also go to the park almost every night to play soccer and walk/jog .. so I guess his activity level has changed.. so 3000 calories would not be enough right.. it would still elicit the starvation response? I am having trouble finding enough ways to get that many calories ! Today was the first day really trying and we are struggling to reach 3000 for the day.. and we have to reach 3700?

 

[Tasksgirl]

Oh and also I don't think he ever eats this much calories.. at least not for a while (obviously he gained the weight from somewhere in the first place - but honestly I think most of it was in childhood) for about 3 years he stayed at 280 and then now he has been the same EXACT weight of 325 for at least a year.. he just kinda stays fat without gaining .. is the body going to freak out and gain weight since he is going to be eating MORE than usual? The fact that we are trying and are struggling to even reach 3000 shows me that he was definitely not getting the 4000+ needed on an average day.. I'm just not really sure what to do here..

I'm worried he could be off just by 200 calories or something and all the working out won't do anything.. It's been like this for so long that I feel like it's impossible and I'm scared this won't work.. that NOTHING will work.. He's trying so hard and I'm trying hard to plan his meals and it's expensive $$

 

[KaraCooks]

Breathe sweetie.

You're way overthinking this. Way.

First of all, you have to remember that this whole calorie thing - it's an ESTIMATE. Our bodies are not like little machines where the numbers are exactly the same hour by hour, day in and day out. Let's say that your guy's maintenance calories are 4000 a day. On Saturday he gets up early and hits the farmer's market before spending the afternoon watching a football game. On Sunday he sleeps in 2 hours and then lounges around reading the paper on the sofa. Now neither of those days involve massive activity that you have to account for like exercise, but do you think his calories are exactly the same for both days? Probably not. He probably burned a few more calories on Saturday than on Sunday. That's life. It's cold - your body works harder to keep warm. You burn 50 more calories that day. You slept in, so your body burned 25 less calories. You got up to go to the bathroom 5 times today because you drank water and normally you only get up 2 times. Your body burned 12 more calories every time you got up. You could make yourself insane trying to track these things.

You can't freak out over daily fluctuations and tiny percentages of your daily calories. The whole maintenance calorie thing is an ESTIMATE. You figure that whatever number you come up with could vary by as much as 10% each day. Some days it's more ... some days it's less. But over time it averages out so that it works.

He's going to bootcamp for a week, so his weight loss will pick up. He probably doesn't need to change his calories for a week's worth of activity. If you were talking about him taking a long term job that required physical activity every single day, then yeah, you'd need to tweak his daily calorie level. But the POINT of bootcamp is to be an "oomph" to the getting fit / weight loss thing. So just let it be.

AS far as he never ate this many calories - if he weighs over 300 lbs then he DID eat them. I'll bet you if you went back and tracked what he used to eat, you'd see it. It's MUCH harder to eat that many healthy calories than it is to eat that many unhealthy calories. You can go to any chain restaurant - say Chili's, for example - and put down 2000 calories in a single meal. Without dessert. I could fix eggs and bacon and toast for breakfast and come in at 1500 calories for breakfast w/out even trying. Heck, I could have an 1800 calorie meal at McDonalds: a double quarter pounder with cheese, a large fries, and a large Coke.

If I were to try to fix an 1800 calorie meal out of healthy foods, I'd have to eat 4 plates full. I could never do it. 1800 calories of salad would be 3lbs of salad. 1800 calories of boneless chicken breast would be 16 servings of chicken. Hell, 1800 calories of oatmeal would be 12 bowls full.

Compare that - 1800 calories:
a pint of premium ice cream
or
a burger, fries, and coke
or
16 servings of chicken breast
or
12 bowls of oatmeal

See how it's much easier to eat more calories of unhealthy food?

There is no way he got to over 300 lbs w/out eating that many calories. I promise you that. It's simply not physically possible.

So breathe. Stop overthinking the calorie thing, becuase it's just going to make you crazy.

 

[Tasksgirl]

Can you please read my other post.. because my husband grew up most of the years of his life eating 1 (semi-healthy and fresh) meal a day and there is no way it was 3000+ calories.. and the same thing is happening to his SIL.. it is their culture and the habit of the family.. I lived with them for years in a tiny apartment and now they live down the hall and we see them every day so I know exactly what their eating is like and what my husband's history was.. and that is why I am SO confused... he has 5 years (at least - before that I was not here) of being the EXACT same weight except for a jump about a year ago because were out of the country for 2 months.. and then the EXACT same weight ever since.. all of his weight - except the jump from 280 - 325 - happened before I was here with him - before the age of 18 ..

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/weight-loss-programs/33370-3500-calorie-diet.html

I'm just lost.. you are right I am over thinking it.. how can I not?

Oh and the boot camp is for 6 weeks.. but the habits we have already started working out every morning either running or playing sports.. and again at night..

 

[KaraCooks]

I've read your other post. I really have.

It NOT humanly possible for him to have gained 50 lbs by not eating enough calories. It would be magic. Seriously. Either there is something he is eating that you're unaware of, or there is something in the food he is eating that is extremely caloric.

You said in your earlier post that his family is Mexican .. traditional Mexican cooking can be very high in calories. Lots of fat (lard, oils), lots of carbs, lots of cheeses. You said he eats avocados and beans ... both of those things, when eaten in volume, do add up. Yes, they're healthy, but there's still calories there. Did he drink juice? Or milk? Those are also more calories. Even if he's not drinking soda or eating Big Macs every day, he's getting those calories from somewhere - or was.

The bottom line is that barring any extreme medical condition or any reactions from medications he's taking (and you've already ruled that out by a doctor's visit and a physical), it's impossible to be fat w/out eating too many calories. It's simply not physically possible to become overweight on a caloric deficit.

I understand you're having a hard time with the whole concept of how much he needs to eat now and wrapping your mind around the calorie thing, but you're reaching for something that is simply not possible.

If he gained weight, it's because he consumed too many calories.
He will lose weight by consuming fewer calories (but not too few) and exercising.

Honestly you need to just chill out a bit and wait and see what happens. You're freaking out over numbers and you haven't even given any of it time to work yet.

Just breathe. Eat healthily. Do the boot camp thing. Quit freaking out about it. I know that's easier said than done, but you're gonig to drive yourself crazy like this.